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Is it acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi just had a really nice pm from someone who has a friend listed.. Now i know we all had to start at square one, but is it acceptable to contact the ' friend' , to ask general questions about them?,Is the person nice etc.. I wouldn't have a problem if someone contacted my friends About me as a person but about my sexual performance I'd hate that!! would you?.. Discuss I'd love to hear your views on this.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We wouldn't dream of it..we like to make our own minds up about people.

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol


"Hi just had a really nice pm from someone who has a friend listed.. Now i know we all had to start at square one, but is it acceptable to contact the ' friend' , to ask general questions about them?,Is the person nice etc.. I wouldn't have a problem if someone contacted my friends About me as a person but about my sexual performance I'd hate that!! would you?.. Discuss I'd love to hear your views on this. "

Good question.

I think its OK...this is a sex site so enquires like that can be expected. However if it offends hide your friends list.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

You can't compare one experience / couple with another, in fact, I thinks it's unfair to do so.

We've met couples who claim to be experienced with swinging partners, their lack of experience certainly showed when it came to sex, however, we've met couple who claim to be newbies, ha, they were like rabbits when it came to sex.

Live for yourself, treat the event as natural as possible, you'll soon find out if their not for you,

It's never a good idea to be part of “she said / he said / they said etc., etc.,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always just take people as I find them.....personally find it's much better to make my own mind up about someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Why don't you just ask the person who sent you the pm about themselves and get to know them first hand

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

If a complete stranger asked me about someone on my friends list, I'd be on to the friend first to see if

a) they've had any contact from the stranger

b) have they had a disagreement with them

c) how do they want me to respond.

Friends before strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would'nt dream of it but when i meet up with a couple its good to compare notes lol when swapping partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Sometimes I think people make life really complicated in here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why don't you just ask the person who sent you the pm about themselves and get to know them first hand "

this is what I do but he offered me to talk to his friend and got me thinking...

And thanks everyone for your thoughts it's really interesting to read x

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend


"Hi just had a really nice pm from someone who has a friend listed.. Now i know we all had to start at square one, but is it acceptable to contact the ' friend' , to ask general questions about them?,Is the person nice etc.. I wouldn't have a problem if someone contacted my friends About me as a person but about my sexual performance I'd hate that!! would you?.. Discuss I'd love to hear your views on this. "

Never in a month of Sundays, you need to make your own decisions and get to know them before arranging to meet.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

If he has good friends they arent exactly going to be objective are they?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"Sometimes I think people make life really complicated in here "

How else to fill the days??????

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

had the same thing done to us a few times the person asking what who & who are like get a nice replay.

contact them yourself and ask them, we are not match makers

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have had people message me in the past asking generally about someone and i didnt mind. I have never done it though but cant see there would be a problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with those who have said they wouldn't contact the friend. Everyones experiences are different, and a good friend isn't likely to give a subjective account.

Now, the other problem you may have is that just because he has a friend on his list, is this friend even known to him? How many profiles have umpteen friends on, who they probably haven't had any contact at all with? We get plenty of friends requests each day. Block/delete those who we don't know. You may find his friend is no such thing.

Here to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't bother us someone asking but i would wonder why someone felt the need instead of asking directly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's nice when people tell others that you are nice, friendly, sexy, etc, but it don't always follow that just because you get on with someone, that you'll get on with their friends too.

There's nothing wrong with going to a meet with a little "behind the scenes" preperation, but we find it's best to go with an open mind and to make up your own mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't dream of it and I don't know why people do it.

Someone I had been seeing got someone he'd been seeing to contact someone on my friends list. After they met they discussed it and he came back to me saying his friend didn't find the person a great lay and wanted my comments!! He didn't stay on my friends list for long and I never met him again.

Make you own minds up about people, it would make me uncomfortable if someone asked about someone on my friend's list or verifications...that's why when my profile is visible I hide them now.

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

No, I don't think we'd ask their friends, unless they (the listed friends) were people we'd already met and had a rapport with, as they'd know our tastes and preferences. But we generally do what most posters recommend, and get into messages and discussions with the party themselves.

M & A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always just take people as I find them.....personally find it's much better to make my own mind up about someone."

I'm with Stu on this one

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

I had a couple message me to ask about a man I had given a verification. Their specific question was; was he bi or straight? I messaged back that his profile said he was straight, and as I met him on my own I would not know any different. I also mentioned that it seemed that they were taking the idea of "references" a little too far . . .

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always just take people as I find them.....personally find it's much better to make my own mind up about someone.

I'm with Stu on this one "

Yep, me... us... too - we take as we find and have been known to meet somebody who somebody else had kind of warned us about.

So glad we did not listen to gossip - that couple we met was one of the nicest we ever met and we are still good friends.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We would never ask anyone about anybody else on here as we all want different thinks so the only way to found out about folks is to meet or chat to them yourself.

I dont think we would want to meet with someone who had contacted our friends to ask about us.

We have on the other hand pointed couples in other couples direction if we thought they would get along so to speak.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd certainly never do that, but in any case, what is good to one person might be gross to another, so the answers probably wouldn't mean jack shit anyway

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