FabSwingers.com forum: non swingers on fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey just wondering for those who are single and on here, if you had a partner or were married would you consider being a swinger. I for one would never swing with someone I was in a relationship with. I get it works for others but I just can't see myself enjoying seeing a partner with other people.

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It depends on the dynamics of the relationship..I wouldn't get with someone then 2 weeks later make a couples profile as you don't fully know each other, I'd much rather get to know them on a one to one level then discuss swinging further down the line...however both have to want to do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It depends on the dynamics of the relationship..I wouldn't get with someone then 2 weeks later make a couples profile as you don't fully know each other, I'd much rather get to know them on a one to one level then discuss swinging further down the line...however both have to want to do it.

Any particular reason you may like to swing?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

tried to swing with last fb .. but we enjoyed each other so much the opportunity never seemed to present itself

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Any particular reason you may like to swing? "

I get bored shagging one bloke, don't get me wrong if in a relationship I wouldn't cheat but I like variety...however if I met someone and he was uncomfortable with it all I certainly wouldn't force the issue and continue the relationship without swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"tried to swing with last fb .. but we enjoyed each other so much the opportunity never seemed to present itself"

Yeah fb is different. I could do that but I am talking about relationships

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any particular reason you may like to swing?

You would get jealous seeing him enjoy himself with other women?

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By *aughtyMinxLikes YouWoman
over a year ago

Kettering

I agree with you but also depends on the relationship, if it is strong enough to survive swinging together.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Any particular reason you may like to swing?

You would get jealous seeing him enjoy himself with other women? "

Not really...I know it's just sex and that at the end of the evening we go home together...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey just wondering for those who are single and on here, if you had a partner or were married would you consider being a swinger. I for one would never swing with someone I was in a relationship with. I get it works for others but I just can't see myself enjoying seeing a partner with other people.

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

Not single, obviously, but that's the point of us doing this together....that's the excitement....a relationship is just that...a deeper thing....sex is sex and enhances the relationship and as long as both people enjoy it then swinging takes you to another level. If you are in any way a jealous person then it wouldn't be for you

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

I would consider having an affair behind my new lovers back if a gorgeous girl wanted my body but as for this new lover of mine her swinging days and funtimes and her life in general would be over

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I have cheated on every partner I've had since the age of 13. I get bored physically with the same person.

I would prefer to swing in a relationship, not straight away, but once we had established ourselves. However, I wouldn't force my beliefs on another person. But I would have to seriously consider if we had a future with such differing sexual interests.

On the other side of the equation, I've been swinging for so long, that most of my friendships are with other swingers. That can be a lot for another man, who doesn't understand swinging to comprehend. I've had the problem before where a man wanted me to break contact with any of my friends who were swingers. I had a bigger problem with that, then I did stopping the swinging.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would consider having an affair behind my new lovers back if a gorgeous girl wanted my body but as for this new lover of mine her swinging days and funtimes and her life in general would be over

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have cheated on every partner I've had since the age of 13. I get bored physically with the same person.

Very honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship "

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!"

She looks fit as blonde

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

No I wouldn't and I wouldn't cheat on anybody either.I like to be loyal and trustworthy and hope I get the same in return.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!"

thanks, its been considerably shorter for a while now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you"

Each to there own but if we all got jealous no one would be swinging....I don't own Sam even though we are together and she has the right to do whatever she wants to but we agree our limits and go with the flow....many people on this site cheat on their partners....if that happened its a betrayal of trust which is a totally different ball game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!

She looks fit as blonde "

psstt Ash.. that was a wig but thank you all the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you

But why do you have limits because you don't own Sam and she has the right to do whatever she wants . . . apparently

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!

She looks fit as blonde

psstt Ash.. that was a wig but thank you all the same "

No frickin way was that a wig? I feel cheated. You should have mentioned it on your profile instead of cheating us

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Like Redangel, I've always cheated on partners...I don't think I'm cut out for monogamy and am certainly not looking for a relationship. There's a guy I go out with occasionally both to vanilla/swinging events although we're currently not shagging each other and we both have other meets separately...that's as near to a relationship as I'm looking to get but if I were to fall into one, it'd have to be a swinging one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was fulfilled in a relationship then no I wouldn't even be here. Glad I'm not a fb either at this precise moment

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I started of swinging as a couple and carried on when I was single again, if I was to meet someone who didn't want to I'm not sure if I could give it up. But I suppose you never know til it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you

But why do you have limits because you don't own Sam and she has the right to do whatever she wants . . . apparently "

That's our preference....if we want to go further we discuss it and agree...that's the relationship and respect part...works for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will and I met at a forum social, neither of us were looking for a partner, but there you go!

We have met other couples, as a couple, and it works fine! More than fine

I have played as a single, with his permission/knowledge once, but do not feel the need now. I get the love I need from him, and the pleasure and the variety from swinging - WITH him x Double the fun x

Sara x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would however depend on if they wanted to swing but I wouldn't be interested in a couples profile, think I prefer to stay with a single one as I like someone said, I like the variety and ideally would prefer to meet someone on here though am not actively looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Will and I met at a forum social, neither of us were looking for a partner, but there you go!

We have met other couples, as a couple, and it works fine! More than fine

Sara x"

Pretty much the same as me and letsbe x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you

But why do you have limits because you don't own Sam and she has the right to do whatever she wants . . . apparently

That's our preference....if we want to go further we discuss it and agree...that's the relationship and respect part...works for us"

Ok fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!

She looks fit as blonde

psstt Ash.. that was a wig but thank you all the same

No frickin way was that a wig? I feel cheated. You should have mentioned it on your profile instead of cheating us "

lol @ cheating you.. hair styles change all the time (well mine do) and at the time yes i did say it was a wig.

sorry to go off topic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no i wouldnt swing if in a relationship

I like your new hairstyle it looks modern and shows off your face more.

nice to have a change!

She looks fit as blonde

psstt Ash.. that was a wig but thank you all the same

No frickin way was that a wig? I feel cheated. You should have mentioned it on your profile instead of cheating us

lol @ cheating you.. hair styles change all the time (well mine do) and at the time yes i did say it was a wig.

sorry to go off topic "

Still feel cheated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Will and I met at a forum social, neither of us were looking for a partner, but there you go!

We have met other couples, as a couple, and it works fine! More than fine

Sara x

Pretty much the same as me and letsbe x "

Always knew we would have a lot in common! lol

Sara x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

In an ideal world I'd like to meet a partner through the swinging scene....I've been out with guys who aren't in the scene and I felt enclosed and some what dishonest as I tend not to disclose this side of me as some have run a mile shouting you slag as they run...I'm much more myself with people who I met through the swinging world

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By *iss Chievous1Woman
over a year ago

my world

I'm not cut out for one partner !!! I'm not sure I would ever get back into a full on relationship ever again !!! Best to be honest from the start and if that works for you both then all good , but I have done my days of cheating ! Not going to put my self in a position where I feel I need to do that again !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe that if we were in a relationship we would swing

(We've been in a relationship since we were 12... Just in case the above makes people think we're just fuckbuddies).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well swingers are really couples! Singles are singles .... they are really just having adventures experimenting sexually and playing the field, the centre of swinging for me is absolutely sharing it as a couple ...it is what it is x

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

i was swinging for years with my ex

it started so long ago i cant even remember why we started it .his idea did it to enhance or sex lives and as we had boring jobs it was something to think about he however became obsessed with it

broke the golden rule fell for someone we met from another site ,so when i dated a guy i gave it up and would do so again in a flash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No would not swing if I was in a serious relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always said no to this but I've changed my mind and the answer now is yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been in monogamous relationships, so to be honest i haven't a clue whether i could swing as a couple or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well swingers are really couples! Singles are singles .... they are really just having adventures experimenting sexually and playing the field, the centre of swinging for me is absolutely sharing it as a couple ...it is what it is x"

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"In an ideal world I'd like to meet a partner through the swinging scene....I've been out with guys who aren't in the scene and I felt enclosed and some what dishonest as I tend not to disclose this side of me as some have run a mile shouting you slag as they run...I'm much more myself with people who I met through the swinging world

Very much this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes I'd swing in a relationship. However if I fell for a non-swinger, he'd have to be open to all sorts of kinky role play

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

My last long term relationship was with someone I met via swinging however it was him that didn't want to share, we were still on the scene but I wasn't allowed to play with anyone else and tbh I didn't want to at the time and he didn't want to either.

I think for me if it was a true love relationship and they didn't want to share then I wouldn't

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By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

D and I met as singles, had fun, and it turned into a relationship. We have been living together for years now in a real and strong relationship.

While I have permission to play on my own, I don't exercise it as I don't really want to, I enjoy playing with her, around her, and in front of her, as a Couple!

To those singles who say they wouldn't, couldn't, don't want to share 'their' partner, I would point out you don't own them and you are supposed to be in a relationship, which is a two way thing.

To me that attitude it not that of a single swinger that understands couples, but a single guy/girl having casual sex with a questionable attitude to couples, and that puts me off.

When meeting people expressing that, 'I could never share my....' we quickly add them straight to the NO list!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Im not a swinger and I wouldnt swing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

I'm here for sex, if I had a partner and a good sex life at home I wouldn't need to be on here

I have swung as a couple when I was married, I started doing this with my ex and carried on after we split, its not something I would want to do again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

If i was in a serious relationship i don't think i would swing. Don't know if i could handle seeing somebody i loved with somebody else but in saying that if we got into a relationship via meeting threw swinging.......Who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know this is a singles thread but I thought I'd give some insight as to why you might entertain swinging at some future date...

When you're young and single life is a blast. Your mates are all out and about, seeing if you want to join em here or there. You meet new people. You go to new places. You circulate.

But what can happen as you get older is that all of your friends form these tight family units and disappear into their own lives. You don't see so much of them. They're not out and about. You don't meet new people. You don't go to new places. You don't circulate.

At that point it starts to become obvious that the "Englishman's home is his castle" mentality is a real problem. The nuclear family unit closes people off from the world around them. And you long to meet people who are more open and inclusive in their lives. Believe it or not this is quite a radical step...to say "we're not gonna close off to the world...we're gonna let others in"...and that's what brings us to the borderlands of swinging.

Just thought that might be of interest to some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship? "

No.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

No."

Ah you said something we can agree on finally lol

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Never say never, never expected to be here even 2 years ago

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

interesting point but there are some of us

on here that swung when with a partner and wouldnt do so again ,there,s too many on here wanting swinging cos they aint getting enough sex at home ,my time as a swinger wasnt like that ,my ex wanted me to do it so i was turned on would get horny so wanted sex with him .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm here for sex, if I had a partner and a good sex life at home I wouldn't need to be on here

I have swung as a couple when I was married, I started doing this with my ex and carried on after we split, its not something I would want to do again"

So a question, you went into swinging with your ex because the sex at home was rubbish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still don't understand why my relationship status dictates that I can't be a swinger. If I were to be in a relationship then I would want it to be a swinging one (provided he was open to it and once we'd established our relationship), but as I am single I'm in this scene the only way I am able to be, which has helped a few couples out with their swinging fun. Yes there are some on here purely for a quick shag (couples too), and good on em, but there are also some of us that are single swinger's as it's a state of mind not a relationship status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would depend on the person I was with. I'd like to think that if I was with someone they'd be able to satisfy me so i wouldn't want to find an extra something somewhere else. Then again if we'd been together a while and wanted to spice things up then id swing. I'd probably get a bit jealous though :s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm here for sex, if I had a partner and a good sex life at home I wouldn't need to be on here

I have swung as a couple when I was married, I started doing this with my ex and carried on after we split, its not something I would want to do again

So a question, you went into swinging with your ex because the sex at home was rubbish?"

we didn't have sex together

We started swinging to get sex but we never had sex together, we mainly met couples for separate room, but in the end he got himself a swinging partner and used to meet with her as he said I attracted the wrong type of people and then I just met alone as a single woman

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I have no intention of getting into a relationship, swinging or otherwise, mainly due to the fact I doubt very much I would remain faithful for very long. I love lots of sex and love lots of men, so am happy to stay the way I am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It would depend on the person I was with. I'd like to think that if I was with someone they'd be able to satisfy me so i wouldn't want to find an extra something somewhere else. Then again if we'd been together a while and wanted to spice things up then id swing. I'd probably get a bit jealous though :s"

I wouldn't mind satisfying you. Fitty

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you"

Have to say I think most people wouldn't get jealous there was a thread on a good while back and all stated how they enjoyed watching their partner with someone else.

But you have to have a rock solid relationship to start with or never gonna work.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I wouldn't mind satisfying you. Fitty "

But ash if she is a fitty it means she is a shit shag

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I wouldn't say I am a jealous person but I would get jealous lol I think most people would. But I get it works for you

Have to say I think most people wouldn't get jealous there was a thread on a good while back and all stated how they enjoyed watching their partner with someone else.

But you have to have a rock solid relationship to start with or never gonna work. "

Yeah but that was on a swinging site. People in general outside the fab world I was talking about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I've been swinging as a single and as part of a couple for so long now that to me it's the norm. I met my ex on here and as many do we never started out seeking a relationship but it happened. We fell in love and enjoyed swinging as a couple for a while. Outside influences took over which meant we had to separate but now I don't think I could be in a relationship and not swing.

Love and sex are two completely different things to me and I doubt I can go through life only having sex with one person.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

So a question, you went into swinging with your ex because the sex at home was rubbish?

we didn't have sex together

Ok thanks for answering.

It proves there are some couples about who use swinging as a substitute for what they don't have.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't mind satisfying you. Fitty

But ash if she is a fitty it means she is a shit shag

Lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I just find the thought of having sex with the same person for the rest of my life bewildering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any particular reason you may like to swing? "

Hmmm are you sure you don't work for Sydney university sound like a questionnaire a student would use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people think that , as a couple, married for ages, we must be swinging because we arn't getting enough or our sex life is getting stale and boring?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so lets get this straight...all the singles who haven't tried swinging chat together with all the singles who have tried it and are now single because it caused their relationship to fall apart...and we're supposed to expect an even handed debate about swinging lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

" I just find the thought of having sex with the same person for the rest of my life bewildering"

And monotonous.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Any particular reason you may like to swing?

Hmmm are you sure you don't work for Sydney university sound like a questionnaire a student would use "

I do work for them in my spare time...quick hide your pics

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" I just find the thought of having sex with the same person for the rest of my life bewildering

And monotonous.

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By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

Agreed!

"single swinger's as it's a state of mind not a relationship status"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so lets get this straight...all the singles who haven't tried swinging chat together with all the singles who have tried it and are now single because it caused their relationship to fall apart...and we're supposed to expect an even handed debate about swinging lol

its like everything what works for some don't for others

I never had a good or positive time swinging as a couple therefore I wouldn't do it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I just find the thought of having sex with the same person for the rest of my life bewildering"

ive never gone passed the 6 month point in any relationship so dout that would be an issue for me

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Why do people think that , as a couple, married for ages, we must be swinging because we arn't getting enough or our sex life is getting stale and boring?

A lot think like this....I suppose you could say they really don't get it so will probably never swing.

I can understand the people who say they wouldn't swing if they had a partner because they think they would get jealous as seeing your OH have sex with someone else is not for everyone.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!"

But you will cheat on her without mentioning her existance??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!

But you will cheat on her without mentioning her existance??

hey all because he likes to fuck about that does not give her the same rights to do so or know what he's upto

come on woman get with the programme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!

But you will cheat on her without mentioning her existance??

Where does it indicate i would cheat?

I wouldn't feel the need to swing if i was in a committed r/ship full stop. Which tells you i would also be way to committed to cheat on my partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with this. I think it's a state of mind and nothing to do with relationship status. Some singles are swingers and some aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I wouldn't. Nothing to do with jealousy more to do with like being monogamous

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

To those singles who say they wouldn't, couldn't, don't want to share 'their' partner, I would point out you don't own them and you are supposed to be in a relationship, which is a two way thing.

To me that attitude it not that of a single swinger that understands couples, but a single guy/girl having casual sex with a questionable attitude to couples, and that puts me off.

When meeting people expressing that, 'I could never share my....' we quickly add them straight to the NO list!

the above is what it is for me....

I like how honest people have been in this thread, but it a way I also find it really disrespectful to the couples these singles have played with....

good enough whilst single.... see ya when you find someone!!!

I could live without swinging... if I found someone and that wanted to give it a go, cool.... if they didn't then I would absolutely give it up, but I would have hope they would see that being part of the scene has improved me as a person....

but to dismiss it out of hand just seems like "your good for one thing" but not for anything else.... used as a stopgap measure... and then slink back if relationship didn't work and act like nothing happened.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!

But you will cheat on her without mentioning her existance??

Where does it indicate i would cheat?

I wouldn't feel the need to swing if i was in a committed r/ship full stop. Which tells you i would also be way to committed to cheat on my partner."

*hands shovel*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is more like a singles site now anyway.. rather than swinging.... Used to be great for couples...but I myself get better responses and meet from single profile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reason I think we swing female I am a very flirty person and love nothing more than the excitement of meeting someone new that you fancy if you are in a normal relationship you would not be able to do anything about it me and hubby love chatting about people we fancy I love to watch him flirt reminds me of why I liked him in the first place I love him so much and after we have been out and had a good night we always feel super horny when we get home and have great sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't mind satisfying you. Fitty "

Please feel free to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I wouldn't. Nothing to do with jealousy more to do with like being monogamous "

I'm a monogamous guy at heart. I'm also not really a swinger and have never met (and I'm not sure I intend to meet) couples).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?

I'm with the OP on this one...could never share the (current lol) love of my life!

But you will cheat on her without mentioning her existance??

Where does it indicate i would cheat?

I wouldn't feel the need to swing if i was in a committed r/ship full stop. Which tells you i would also be way to committed to cheat on my partner.

*hands shovel*

*hands a pair of socks*

While we're in the giving mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To those singles who say they wouldn't, couldn't, don't want to share 'their' partner, I would point out you don't own them and you are supposed to be in a relationship, which is a two way thing.

To me that attitude it not that of a single swinger that understands couples, but a single guy/girl having casual sex with a questionable attitude to couples, and that puts me off.

When meeting people expressing that, 'I could never share my....' we quickly add them straight to the NO list!

the above is what it is for me....

I like how honest people have been in this thread, but it a way I also find it really disrespectful to the couples these singles have played with....

good enough whilst single.... see ya when you find someone!!!

That is what I don't like about swinging attitudes. I am not an object to 'swap'. I am a person.

If I want to have sex with people there are no ties. It's not on the proviso that if I have a partner I would swap them.

I know that's probably not what you mean, that's just the way I take it when I read things like that.

And if I felt like I couldn't share a partner, that's my feelings and my opinion. Yes they are also a person and of course they have equal right to decide if they will swing or not.

But saying that if I didn't want to share is wrong... no I disagree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To those singles who say they wouldn't, couldn't, don't want to share 'their' partner, I would point out you don't own them and you are supposed to be in a relationship, which is a two way thing.

To me that attitude it not that of a single swinger that understands couples, but a single guy/girl having casual sex with a questionable attitude to couples, and that puts me off.

When meeting people expressing that, 'I could never share my....' we quickly add them straight to the NO list!

the above is what it is for me....

I like how honest people have been in this thread, but it a way I also find it really disrespectful to the couples these singles have played with....

good enough whilst single.... see ya when you find someone!!!

That is what I don't like about swinging attitudes. I am not an object to 'swap'. I am a person.

If I want to have sex with people there are no ties. It's not on the proviso that if I have a partner I would swap them.

I know that's probably not what you mean, that's just the way I take it when I read things like that.

And if I felt like I couldn't share a partner, that's my feelings and my opinion. Yes they are also a person and of course they have equal right to decide if they will swing or not.

But saying that if I didn't want to share is wrong... no I disagree!"

This.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......

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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

When in my last long term relationship my partner and I decided we fancied a threesome, we were very open with each other about our sexual fantasies. We had met the woman at a friends party , after several times chatting with her we eventually decided to take the plunge, however, afterwards I couldn't go near him for weeks and we decided it wasn't for us, so my answer would be no i would definitely not want swinging involved if I entered into a serious relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......"

I see no reason why I have to tell someone something about myself from before I met them

so no I wouldn't

if for some strange reason they asked me if I had ever been to a swinging club etc I would be honest and say yes I have tried it but its not for me, but I wouldnt bring it up first

I wouldn't expect a new partner of mine to sit down and tell me everything and everyone he had done or tried sexually from before we had met

after we have met is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......"

No I wouldn't tell a partner that I was on here,my social life is completly away from this.

But then again I don't really class myself as a swinger anyway!

Just a bit of a perv

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......"

Well we are not swingers so this is a set site for us. So yes I would tell partner I use to go online for sex but obviously not anymore. If she was curious about it all and my experiences I don't know what I would do lol not thought about it before. Good question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/14 12:49:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......

I would just tell them its something I tried when I was single but not something I'm interested in doing anymore

if they was curious about it they would have to go it alone because I wouldn't be the one to hold their hand and show them the ropes as so to speak

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'm single but still class myself as a swinger. Swinging is a mindset not a relationship status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been off and on, on here.

Off when I had a girlfriend, so no, unless I met someone on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single but still class myself as a swinger. Swinging is a mindset not a relationship status."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having posted earlier, and come back, caught up ...........the thing that people are missing, to me, is that there is a massive difference between love and sex.

Sex involves feelings, yes, but not love! Not even if they are amazing! lol

S x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Having posted earlier, and come back, caught up ...........the thing that people are missing, to me, is that there is a massive difference between love and sex.

Sex involves feelings, yes, but not love! Not even if they are amazing! lol

S x"

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it really matters what you class yourself as so long as your getting from the site what your after

does it matter if your a swinger or not?

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Any particular reason you may like to swing?

You would get jealous seeing him enjoy himself with other women?

Not really...I know it's just sex and that at the end of the evening we go home together..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It would depend on the person and relationship, as it can certainly work very well. As a couple, there are other people to consider, and so I couldnt speak for every prospective partner of course. It should be discussed, as without that one couldnt know.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

im so with _abio on all this ,

and thinking about my past life i totally get what my problem is now !!!

i went to clubs ,we would sit relax have a drink .go into the jacuzzi ,talk to folk then go play .

meet couples ,have a meal.drink chat then play so had a social side to it too which i enjoyed my ex the sex side .

so thats why its a problem for me now tho as i like the social side too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some interesting posts and experiences shared on this thread.

What I have noticed on many of these types of threads are that it often shows those who discuss swinging online and those who swing and socialise in clubs. Not a criticism of any particular individual but something that I have felt for a while.

Our story is that we were both non swingers before we got married and we became swingers together. We started because we are quite mainstream 2.4 children type of people who both have a very naughty and sordid side that we like to release once in a while. All horny people have fantasies that involve more than one person and you can only indulge in this world as a couple if you have a cast iron relationship where your partner comes first.

To me if jealously crops up then the relationship is not ready or maybe never be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

is that so you could continue swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

is that so you could continue swinging?"
No . I said earlier I would not swing if I met someone I wanted to be with . I think it would be nice to meet someone off here so there would be no secrets to start the relationship with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

is that so you could continue swinging? No . I said earlier I would not swing if I met someone I wanted to be with . I think it would be nice to meet someone off here so there would be no secrets to start the relationship with

ah right, cool beans.

see ive said i wouldnt date someone from here as they know that i was on here and further down the line might think 'well she was open minded about it' and want to try it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes I would be, because I can and have shared partners.I'm secure enough to know the difference of having casual sex to being in a proper relationship.

I find it a bit bizarre people who cannot share a partner,yet shag someone elses..as I say..just looks insecure/controlling/needy to me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the op is not a swinger obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I love about these threads is they give singles carte blanche to look down their snooty noses at all the horrible swingers who can't remain faithful to their partners...drawing only upon some imagined sense of superiority and faithfulness which hasn't actually been tried and tested yet...it's all just theoretical high mindedness.

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

ah right, cool beans.

see ive said i wouldnt date someone from here as they know that i was on here and further down the line might think 'well she was open minded about it' and want to try it.."
This is true but I have always said . Me personally could not watch someone I love with anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I love about these threads is they give singles carte blanche to look down their snooty noses at all the horrible swingers who can't remain faithful to their partners...drawing only upon some imagined sense of superiority and faithfulness which hasn't actually been tried and tested yet...it's all just theoretical high mindedness.

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

ah right, cool beans.

see ive said i wouldnt date someone from here as they know that i was on here and further down the line might think 'well she was open minded about it' and want to try it.. This is true but I have always said . Me personally could not watch someone I love with anyone else "

im the same as you Jane.

I dont have interest in joining couples, i just play with single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

"
Would never look down on couples who swing !! They have very loving relationships from what I see on here . I just say .me personaly could not do it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

Would be the end of a relationship for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're a couple who are totally new to the swinging world. Have only done 3somes ffm so far soft swapping only. Trying to ease ourselves in gentley (excuse the pun) and will only do soft swap with out first couple when we meet the right one. Then we'll see how it goes from there. Not sure if this is the norm/unusual unreasoble as we are newbies.

Any thoughts from the more experienced out there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the op is not a swinger obviously "

its a whole big site, full of contradictions..some not always bad.

I just dont get those who wouldnt swing with a new gf/bf if they have met others who have shared themselves...surely u learn something from the secure relationships u meet????

As a single I had to learn I cant fall for women(female halves), we can have fun erotic/filthy shag sessions..but I know they are a committed couple so my affection is for the meet itself and just a friendship of sorts.

I could leave the scene fairly easily enough..but in the 10 years or so..I have a good amount of real life friends via these kinds of places..I wouldnt give them up...like anyone shouldnt give up their real friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

Speaking for myself,I don't look down on anyone for doing anything. You are the only ridiculing people for wanting to be faithful. As if it's a flaw in their character. It seems you are trying to justify why you do it. I don't care or judge any couple who have sex with others. It's nothing to do with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

Would be the end of a relationship for me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people on this site aren't swingers. It's not part of the swinging scene,just a place to find people who can join others in the swinging environment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Banana

I'm not ridiculing people for wanting to remain faithful. I'm stating the obvious which is that it's all just speculation

It's easy to say "if I was in your position I would be a better person than you"...but it's not so easy when that reality comes along.

Judging by the reactions so far it seems like at least a couple of singles would walk out on their partners if they suggested swinging to them. How is that being 'faithful'? lol sounds a bit crappy and controlling from my perspective

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Anyone fancy a shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is precisely why couples are choosy with single men because we want to meet swingers not guys looking for cheap fun wish they d just use brothels tbh

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

For me I would of swung with my last partner, as I said it was him that wouldn't share. I think you have to have a good solid relationship and be secure with the person to share them and know it's for fun only and not feel jealous.

I am single and definitely not snooty about what other people choose to do in their own relationships

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By *orth and southCouple
over a year ago

scotland

We both meet on here as when we meet people it's just having a laugh and good sexy then home together but we always make sure we are both with what's going on and are safe.

Loves is lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So seriously...you're in a 10 year long relationship with someone...deeply in love...they turn to you and say..."hey I've always had a fantasy about having sex in the same room as another couple"

...and you'd walk out?!?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Banana

I'm not ridiculing people for wanting to remain faithful. I'm stating the obvious which is that it's all just speculation

It's easy to say "if I was in your position I would be a better person than you"...but it's not so easy when that reality comes along.

"
Exactly from your perspective . And if you think you are right and I am wrong then fine . You carry on making decisions about your life and I will mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the reactions so far it seems like at least a couple of singles would walk out on their partners if they suggested swinging to them. How is that being 'faithful'? lol sounds a bit crappy and controlling from my perspective

if people arent happy to swing surely thats up to them.

by walking out on a partner id be leaving him to carry on with a lifestyle he is happy with,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So seriously...you're in a 10 year long relationship with someone...deeply in love...they turn to you and say..."hey I've always had a fantasy about having sex in the same room as another couple"

...and you'd walk out?!?!?!

"
yes . I was married for 24 years . Why would I expect my wife to say she wanted to sleep with another man ? . She did in the end but thats another story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Banana

I'm not ridiculing people for wanting to remain faithful. I'm stating the obvious which is that it's all just speculation

It's easy to say "if I was in your position I would be a better person than you"...but it's not so easy when that reality comes along.

has anyone actually said they would be a better person or is it you reading between the lines? Your idea of being faithful sounds skewed to me too. You make it sound controlling from the other persons point of _iew. By saying if you love me you would honour my wishes. Isn't that controlling? If my husband said he wanted to bring others into our relationship I would let him know I don't. Is that being unfaithful or by giving in and doing something I didn't want to be classed as being faithful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So seriously...you're in a 10 year long relationship with someone...deeply in love...they turn to you and say..."hey I've always had a fantasy about having sex in the same room as another couple"

...and you'd walk out?!?!?!

until im in that situation i would never know,, but my gut would not be happy with it no, that envy/jealously would probably consume me and destroy it anyway. my insecurities would say 'am i not good enough for him anymore'

ive much admiration for couples who are happy and secure..

just being honest.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

So I've got a question for all you 'more faithful' 'better' people...

What would you do if your partner wanted to swing?

Again, this is way too defensive - unless you are playing Devils Advocate, then it really sounds to me like you are trying to defend your own change of heart, or feeling guilty or something....

It is not theoretical if we have been in long relationships before. I have always been in relatively long, faithful relationships, the longest of which was a 20 year marriage. God even my first love at 15 was 3 years, that's simply how I am built.

In between I will do whatever the hell I feel like to scratch an itch, sure, I can be quite the yeehaw at times.

But when I love, it is the mutually exclusive intensity that I find one of the most thrilling aspects, and I just know myself well enough to know that will always be how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sits in a corner with banana and tosh

ive wine n scampi fries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" sits in a corner with banana and tosh

ive wine n scampi fries

"
You will have I bought you them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol this old chestnut

I know when I'm beat lol. Just saying...for all this high minded talk about some theoretical faithfulness you lot seem ready to run away from a deep and meaningful long term relationship pretty darn quick. And if you re-read my post your 10 year long girlfriend only said she'd like to have sex in the same room as another couple....not have sex with another man. I'd say the majority of swingers do something like this...soft swap or no swap...rather than full swap.

I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

ah right, cool beans.

see ive said i wouldnt date someone from here as they know that i was on here and further down the line might think 'well she was open minded about it' and want to try it.."

I am not sure they would...as when you do meet you meet single men ? So maybe they would think your mind wasn't open to group sex and you were just using the site to meet for sex with singles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol this old chestnut

I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

"
Just be happy with your relationship . Don't worry about mine . I will be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did ever think of settling down. It would be nice to think it was someone I met on here

ah right, cool beans.

see ive said i wouldnt date someone from here as they know that i was on here and further down the line might think 'well she was open minded about it' and want to try it..

I am not sure they would...as when you do meet you meet single men ? So maybe they would think your mind wasn't open to group sex and you were just using the site to meet for sex with singles.

"
this

i single and respect the wishes of any partner if they not swing you don't if they. Do you do but you never judge any partner for their choice ..swinging is about trust if you can't trust don't swing and don't use a swing site as a dating site it never going to work that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I notice from these threads is they show people's misconceptions,generalisations and pre-judgments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Again, this is way too defensive - unless you are playing Devils Advocate, then it really sounds to me like you are trying to defend your own change of heart, or feeling guilty or something...."

Hi Frisky

Just having some fun...no guilt...just saying it as I see it

You may say I'm being too over the top in my language...ok maybe

but it is a forum and I don't see anyone else pulling their punches lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1st of all, I would never have a relationship.. so wouldnt know lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol this old chestnut

I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

Having sex with my husband in front of another couple has no attraction for me. Why should I do it? I'm not high minded about anything,I think you are. You don't seem to want to embrace other people's preferences even though we are yours

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Hi Banana

I'm not ridiculing people for wanting to remain faithful. I'm stating the obvious which is that it's all just speculation

It's easy to say "if I was in your position I would be a better person than you"...but it's not so easy when that reality comes along.

Saying no to your partner if they asked to swing is not controlling....it is being honest and saying you can't do it.

This sort of play isn't for everyone when they are in a relationship, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy group sex at other times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

See this is the bit I don't understand . Why have I got issues if I do not want to see the person I love having sex with someone else . Please explain

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Again, this is way too defensive - unless you are playing Devils Advocate, then it really sounds to me like you are trying to defend your own change of heart, or feeling guilty or something....

Hi Frisky

Just having some fun...no guilt...just saying it as I see it

You may say I'm being too over the top in my language...ok maybe

but it is a forum and I don't see anyone else pulling their punches lol

Oh I don't mean you should pull your punches, I just mean 'The lady doth protest too much' (though I am assuming you are the male half) and 'There's no smoke without fire.'

If people are not being superior in their statements - and I have see none of that, then you are likely to be projecting that onto them, which reveals a lot more about your own position. I saw that in the last thread we talked about too - exactly the same. If I had to guess I'd say after your long monogamous marriage you've been playing with soft swing and one of you wants to go further now and the other does not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

See this is the bit I don't understand . Why have I got issues if I do not want to see the person I love having sex with someone else . Please explain "

because your a control freak and a jealous person..

very controlling for not allowing your partner for wanting to sleep with others

have you not read the thread.. lol

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I'd say there's some issues there with you guys but I know you'd only throw the same back at me lol

I see it too Toshy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not telling anyone how they should live their lives....just defending swingers from the insinuations which are actually on this thread if you want to cast back through it that... A) swingers are not faithful B) swingers are somehow lacking in the bedroom department. Do I really have to quote the posts?

The whole reason why I'm on this thread is because I found it incredibly one sided and judgmental. I've just tried to balance it up a bit and I've had a few thumbs up for doing so...so there must be others who've been reading the thread in the same way as me. You go live your lives...that's just fine...and don't get shirty with me because I've given you leave to live your own life...previous posters have said the same to me about my relationship.

I get it that some of you now think I'm being judgmental by trying to defend swingers. But I'm not. I'm quite happy with you staying on your side of the fence and us on ours...but just try not to cast judgment on us.

If you'd like to get a window into how threads like this come across would you like me to start a thread asking couples if, in the scenario that they split up and became single again, would they stoop as low as shagging around and having NSA sex with strangers? Can you see how this would be thinly veiled judgmentalism of you singles and your lifestyle choices? I'm not gonna write that thread because I don't hold that prejudice...but it should give you the mirror eye _iew of how some swingers can see threads like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my insecurities would say 'am i not good enough for him anymore'"

Infers that swingers lack something in the bedroom department

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is what I don't like about swinging attitudes. I am not an object to 'swap'. I am a person."

Infers that swingers objectify their partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny how singles are just shagging around but meet a partner and do it together suddenly they are swingers and it's not just shagging around. You can thinly veil something but it's your thoughts coming out isn't it. If I met a man and didn't love him but still wanted to meet couples for sex would that be just us shagging around? Do the couples have to be in love to be swingers?

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We swing as a cpl, because we decided it was what we both wanted.

If somehow I (Mart) became single, having experienced swinging as a couple, and having loads of swinging friends, I would prefer any future relationship to be one where we swing, so meeting someone off here would probably be the way to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my insecurities would say 'am i not good enough for him anymore'

Infers that swingers lack something in the bedroom department"

she wasn't generalising. She said I,her own thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Again, this is way too defensive - unless you are playing Devils Advocate, then it really sounds to me like you are trying to defend your own change of heart, or feeling guilty or something....

Hi Frisky

Just having some fun...no guilt...just saying it as I see it

You may say I'm being too over the top in my language...ok maybe

but it is a forum and I don't see anyone else pulling their punches lol

Oh I don't mean you should pull your punches, I just mean 'The lady doth protest too much' (though I am assuming you are the male half) and 'There's no smoke without fire.'

Frisky you've got a bee under your bonnet about me being on some weird freudian guilt trip. One cursory look at our profile would tell you we haven't even swung yet. I just felt the thread was one sided and thought I'd make some points in the opposite direction. Obviously I now know that I'd have to be mad, quite literally, to disagree with you...at least that seems to be the way you want to frame it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banana "shagging around" is a derogatory term for NSA sex...that's why I used it...as I find that the way swinging is framed in these kinds of debates is also derogatory...not because I actually hold that _iew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Again, this is way too defensive - unless you are playing Devils Advocate, then it really sounds to me like you are trying to defend your own change of heart, or feeling guilty or something....

Hi Frisky

Just having some fun...no guilt...just saying it as I see it

You may say I'm being too over the top in my language...ok maybe

but it is a forum and I don't see anyone else pulling their punches lol

Oh I don't mean you should pull your punches, I just mean 'The lady doth protest too much' (though I am assuming you are the male half) and 'There's no smoke without fire.'

what are your wife's thoughts about your relationship? If she asked you to try a man,would you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my insecurities would say 'am i not good enough for him anymore'

Infers that swingers lack something in the bedroom department

she wasn't generalising. She said I,her own thoughts "

exactly.. its how i would feel because im not confident in myself. i wasnt meaning other couples who are happy, content and secure.

i just know in myself due to my flaws that swinging is something i doubt i would ever be emotionally strong enough to handle.

kudos for all those who are.. one day i might find some strength and be in a relationship where i could go on and do it, but speaking as i do with my current mental state. it would break me

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Hah, but honey - you DID indeed state I was shagging around 'by mistake'.

I'm sorry, I still believe 'out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks' and if you didn't think it, you wouldn't say it. As I say, it simple shows us what's going on in your head - again it look like you are trying to justify your own position that somehow swinging would somehow not be what you revile.

But whatever, I have to go get ready for my roadie duty now sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to shag around nothing is better

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Frisky you've got a bee under your bonnet about me being on some weird freudian guilt trip. "

No bee required - I just see it in your posts, and I speak as I find. If you are playing at devil advocate then that may well be a different matter.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And no madness required - I don't expect anyone to agree with me, quite the contrary, I am a non-swinger on a swingers site!! Maybe it is the fact that you are defending swingers but have not yet become one for some reason that makes your posts sound odd. Why have you not - does one party not want to, is this you trying to persuade your other half?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frisky you've got a bee under your bonnet about me being on some weird freudian guilt trip.

No bee required - I just see it in your posts, and I speak as I find. If you are playing at devil advocate then that may well be a different matter."

So let me get this straight? lol You genuinely feel that because I have defended swinging and made the assertion that singles imagining that they would not swing if they were in a relationship of long standing and their partner wanted to try it out is just high minded theory...that I am somehow therefore a closet swinger hater lol

...or perhaps I'm in some really f'd up relationship and I'm compensating somehow...just because I'm happy to argue to the contrary

Frisky you need to lay off the pipe

I don't think I've over milked my argument here...and I apologised to you privately for that slip of phrase in the other thread and would've hoped you could've given me the benefit of the doubt about that rather than trot it out here...but I'm beginning to see that's the way some people do things round here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And no madness required - I don't expect anyone to agree with me, quite the contrary, I am a non-swinger on a swingers site!! Maybe it is the fact that you are defending swingers but have not yet become one for some reason that makes your posts sound odd. Why have you not - does one party not want to, is this you trying to persuade your other half?"

We're not ready. Got a baby.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

" sits in a corner with banana and tosh

ive wine n scampi fries

"
put me in the corner too i wont swing with anyone cos they wanted to ,been there done that and as you all know still bearing the scars

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think what mpassion is getting at is that people who are on a swinging site have still not figured out what the majority of swingers are here for and a lot assume swingers are here because their sex life is crap and he is seeing that as derogatry.

Now ok, we have one poster saying hers was non exsistant , but that relationship didn't last so that says a lot , but swinging is normally played out by couples who have a strong relationship and a sex life before they swing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone's different you do what is best for you/your partner at the time.

Live your life do what you want to do

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Frisky you've got a bee under your bonnet about me being on some weird freudian guilt trip.

No bee required - I just see it in your posts, and I speak as I find. If you are playing at devil advocate then that may well be a different matter.

...or perhaps I'm in some really f'd up relationship and I'm compensating somehow...just because I'm happy to argue to the contrary

Frisky you need to lay off the pipe

I would no have mentioned it if you had not brought the same phrase up again - your use of it is relevant.

I am not stating as you suggest no. I am saying that your MANNER of defending swinging has a LOT of undercurrent visible in it, enough to be obvious to several people it seems. We may not know exactly what it means, but I do believe I see some cognitive dissonance or something in there, yes.

Something is revealed about your own position as would-be theoretical swingers.

Now I musty go, sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wouldnt catch my wife getting up to what some of u do on here...

She waits for me at home(I'm on business alot), quietly waiting for me to return..I've also banned any usage of sex toys, I am enough for her.

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