FabSwingers.com forum: Someone finally pissed me off enough...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To have a rant!

Someone posted a video on Facebook of some horrifically middle class woman having a "Birth in Nature".

Oh it was truly terrible, it started with some scrolling text about how she'd always wanted to give birth in nature. How her other births had been pool births. That fortuitously they had some friends who had a house in a rainforest (as you do), the oldest one on the planet no less, and she'd fallen in love with a stream there after drinking from it and contracting Weils disease. The only thing missing was a Waitrose ad half way through.

So the video rumbles on through her labour and several chai teas. And when the moment comes, well it's hardly giving birth in a pristine rainforest stream. Rather giving birth on a camping rollmat next to a stream. Which, I felt kind of detracted from her initial spiel.

Now while I object to people pumping kids out like we've infinite resources anyway, I also feel that this birth in particular was pretty fucking stupid. We developed healthcare systems for reasons like this. So that people don't have to give birth in ditches. And I'm pretty sure that if during the labour she'd split open like a Piñata or the baby wasn't right her first thought would have been "perhaps I need modern medicine after all, I wish I wasn't miles away from it in this stream. Perhaps I don't know everything". As I say I oppose rampant breeding anyway as its the single biggest problem we face at the moment as a species, but I object to people endangering a life just so they can get their new age jollies. When the world ends and every day is a fight for survival fine, have your baby where you can and enjoy it. Go nuts, pop it out on a native Indian kayak as it's paddled away from the anger of our ant overlords. But until then try having it within a short walk from expert medical care perhaps? While you have the choice.

Was was also edifying is that the other kids, Raffia, Flax and Paella were there too, having been brought along for a fun afternoon of watching mummy get naked and eject little sis out onto a Millets 2for1 special.

And there's a really special bit at the end where Dad has obviously been preparing to help with breastfeeding duties. Seriously, his tits are bigger than hers.

And all before my breakfast too. Fucksticks.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Priceless!!

Totally priceless!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best written and most sensible post I've read in a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw that as well, but i did complain to facebook because letting a little child run around naked in it for all the paedos to get off on not good x

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

The jodie rant returns!! And that's a beauty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucksticks indeed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video."

Yeah my thoughts too..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what a bunch of weirdos.

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

Go Jodie.....

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

So a stream she contracted Weils from? Which ie carried by rat urine.

Well that's obviously going to be great for a newborn!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too.."

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too.."

Mine too. If i was worried about being put off my breakfast I probably wouldnt watch something called birth in nature to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So a stream she contracted Weils from? Which ie carried by rat urine.

Well that's obviously going to be great for a newborn!

I may have made that bit up to illustrate a point

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I saw that as well, but i did complain to facebook because letting a little child run around naked in it for all the paedos to get off on not good x"

They weren't bothered when I reported an image of a man being burnt alive in Uganda so I doubt they be bothered about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"So a stream she contracted Weils from? Which ie carried by rat urine.

Well that's obviously going to be great for a newborn!

I may have made that bit up to illustrate a point

Hee hee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Mine too. If i was worried about being put off my breakfast I probably wouldnt watch something called birth in nature to be honest. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it."

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it!! But you can bet that if anything went wrong she would of sued the NHS for not providing her with adequate care. Dare I ask what she called the child?? No don't tell me I need to have breakfast first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

So whats your issue then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds disgusting . So why do I have a burning urge to go and watch it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter..."

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

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By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Hahaha coco pops everywhere reading this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Priceless!!

Totally priceless!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn "

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

Yet you're still commenting on a thread you've already said that bored you. Why? At no point did I say it put me off my breakfast. I can deal with a huge growler before breakfast as well as the next man. I have to admit I was expecting the usual tedious "if she wants to do it that way its her choice blah blah blah" comments, I forgot about the moronic "why watch it then" intellectual superiority bollocks while displaying massive hypocrisy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

I take it this is one of them times.... When a little hand relief will burden the boredom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

"
Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

Yeah I found the title interesting but the post boring.The responses I find amusing and it doesn't put me off my bacon sandwich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

I can't help it I'm just weak willed...

It's like sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone mentions it...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

Yeah I found the title interesting but the post boring.The responses I find amusing and it doesn't put me off my bacon sandwich

Thanks for helping make my point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

Yeah I found the title interesting but the post boring.The responses I find amusing and it doesn't put me off my bacon sandwich

Thanks for helping make my point. "

Welcome have a happy day

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

I can't help it I'm just weak willed...

It's like sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone mentions it...

More tea vicar?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video.

Yeah my thoughts too..

Probably the same reasons you chose to post on a thread that clearly bored you and you had no interest in. Because you can.

Actually the thread title was interesting hense why i opened it.

So you did exactly what I did then. You could have just ignored it and moved on when you decided it wasn't for you but decided to make comment instead.

Slightly different to watching a video.

Yeah I found the title interesting but the post boring.The responses I find amusing and it doesn't put me off my bacon sandwich

Thanks for helping make my point. "

But your whole thread is about things you don't like. You didn't enjoy the video you watched in its entirety yet felt compelled enough to re live it in a 'rant' and now you're not liking the responses that don't like the content of your post about something you don't like....round and found and round we go....where the thread ends nobody knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

I can't help it I'm just weak willed...

It's like sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone mentions it...

More tea vicar?

Oh do you know the Vicar too.....he's nice chap... very tactful...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

I can't help it I'm just weak willed...

It's like sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone mentions it...

More tea vicar?

No angel cake is quite efficient thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read half of it but got bored,why not just stop the video."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

@ the entire thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

Don't it get on yer tits!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

Don't it get on yer tits!?"

Erm no

I like your little ranty-poos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a woman that gave birth in the stable. I followed the North Star and gave mer. One in a taxi one in a car me on me scooter beepin my hooter...

Morale of the story who gives a shit.... Yawn

Sometimes I have a wank when I don't even want one....

Thats so wrong .I like to say no I have a headache sometimes . Treat my left hand mean and keep it keen

I can't help it I'm just weak willed...

It's like sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone mentions it...

More tea vicar?

No angel cake is quite efficient thank you

I prefer Navy Cake...

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Angry Britain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have I missed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it made me chuckle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

Don't it get on yer tits!?"

You have tits !!! Me personally moobs is more appropriate don't you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

Don't it get on yer tits!?

You have tits !!! Me personally moobs is more appropriate don't you think

The question was aimed at me. And yes I legitimately have tits thank you fuck face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

we may never hear Jodie's rants again

fuck Alex Salmond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

Wont we still be Great Britain? Genuine question BTW.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I saw that as well, but i did complain to facebook because letting a little child run around naked in it for all the paedos to get off on not good x"

Is that a serious post?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody el it's all kicking off in here

Calm people. It's the weekend

Don't it get on yer tits!?

You have tits !!! Me personally moobs is more appropriate don't you think

The question was aimed at me. And yes I legitimately have tits thank you fuck face

fuck face lol well beens as your a couple who knows hey ? Miss miss she called me a fuck face don't worry tommy you fuck the face not fuck the face as there obviously not just poking the fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

Wont we still be Great Britain? Genuine question BTW. "

Genuine answer...... I don't know...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

we may never hear Jodie's rants again

fuck Alex Salmond

Well if the Yes campaign is to be believed, my rants would be significantly better under independence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

we may never hear Jodie's rants again

fuck Alex Salmond

Well if the Yes campaign is to be believed, my rants would be significantly better under independence."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fucksticks

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

Why do midwifes keep tryin to pull the man down to the partners fanny area when she's just about to pop?

Fuck off woman im fine up here with the laughing gas mwaha ha ha.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Fucking brilliant - better than breakfast!

You're a star Jodie.

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

Well your post made me giggle Jodie, who cant help looking at a car crash, you try not to but it happens, also naming the child I was thinking probably 'Forest Dump'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well your post made me giggle Jodie, who cant help looking at a car crash, you try not to but it happens, also naming the child I was thinking probably 'Forest Dump'

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Come on people dont lower yourself to the Welsh Forum levels, thats all they do at the moment is bicker, snipe and argue. The Lounge Threads have always been my salvation from this.

I personally pissed myself at it op's rant, nothing like getting things off ya chest

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

"Come on people dont lower yourself to the Welsh Forum levels, thats all they do at the moment is bicker, snipe and argue. The Lounge Threads have always been my salvation from this.

I personally pissed myself at it op's rant, nothing like getting things off ya chest

Haha makes a change..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well your post made me giggle Jodie, who cant help looking at a car crash, you try not to but it happens, also naming the child I was thinking probably 'Forest Dump'

Genius

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

Wont we still be Great Britain? Genuine question BTW.

Genuine answer...... I don't know...

Apparently we haven't been Great Britain for a while, we're the United Kingdom!!!! Maybe not for much longer though.

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"Angry Britain

Sheeezzzz Ryan I don't think you've thought that through ,,,,

sigh,,,,, what happens if Scotland vote for independence eh!.... that last post of yours is gonna look really silly , isn't it.... tuh.....

we may never hear Jodie's rants again

fuck Alex Salmond

Well if the Yes campaign is to be believed, my rants would be significantly better under independence."

Oh much better indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine giving birth on top of Ben Nevis.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 07/06/14 12:54:08]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Imagine giving birth on top of Ben Nevis.

Who's he ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine people who watch Eastenders/Coronation street and dross like that are morbidly fascinated with it. It's not entertaining,they just can't draw themselves away from it. I've watched videos I found stomach turning,the boil lancing being one of them,but I couldn't tear my eyes away. Life would be boring if we didn't question ourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I imagine people who watch Eastenders/Coronation street and dross like that are morbidly fascinated with it. It's not entertaining,they just can't draw themselves away from it. I've watched videos I found stomach turning,the boil lancing being one of them,but I couldn't tear my eyes away. Life would be boring if we didn't question ourselves "
I watch them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you just can't help yourself can you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you just can't help yourself can you

"
I know . I'm a saddo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry Jodie but each to their own...you should know that more than anyone..they most likely wouldnt care what many people think and will only see the positives in having a birth the way they want it, and not societies imposed systems..whether thats tree hugging or not, most of us here also prefer to do things how WE like it and not be told by institutions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Fucksticks'..... lovin that word, looking forward to using it at some point today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Fucksticks'..... lovin that word, looking forward to using it at some point today

are u camming with ur double fucksticks dildo today?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry Jodie but each to their own...you should know that more than anyone..they most likely wouldnt care what many people think and will only see the positives in having a birth the way they want it, and not societies imposed systems..whether thats tree hugging or not, most of us here also prefer to do things how WE like it and not be told by institutions."

For the most part I'd agree with you. If the topic being discussed was "should I wear what I bloody want or conform to societys expectation of what I should wear?"

But the topic in question is "should I spawn another mouth to feed onto a camping mat at the side of a parasite-filled stream in a flying insect infested rain forest miles from medical care?"

The main difference being, particularly as you used my situation in your post, that me dressing up as I do hurts no-one. She was having a baby. So her doing that is risking the infants health as well as her own. As far as I'm aware no institutions are forcing people to have babies in hospital. Home births are quite common I believe, and you can have midwives present. So at least there is the backup of a medical professional.

No, this person seemed more worried about having some sort of wonderful experience for herself, captured for all in glorious HD. Because if the ancient Mayan tribeswomen had the choice, they'd have had theirs in a ditch in full HD too.

I did hear earlier that she's planning to have the next one while tobogganing down Kilimanjaro on an authentic Masai birthing sled. Filmed in 4K.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

theres bigger things to worry about .dont watch it if it ruins your day .watch something that makes u happy

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