FabSwingers.com forum: One of a couple wanting to leave swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

"
It wouldn't be difficult at all, we have a great sex life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

It wouldn't be difficult at all, we have a great sex life."
Yes I am very sure

You do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nJ_NW_cplCouple
over a year ago

wirral

If one of us decides we have had enough then that’s the end of it, no questions asked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"If one of us decides we have had enough then that’s the end of it, no questions asked."
Exactly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Piece of piss.....if i was yearning for this more than my partners happiness i think i know what the only option would be for the relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

It wouldn't be hard to drop swinging from our life for a few reasons, we have a fantastic sex life and don't actually meet that often.. So if either of us wanted to completely stop that's what we would do... No questions asked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

We don't swing anymore. Our last meet was over 2yrs ago.

It was my decision to stop. I told Kate I didn't want to do it anymore and she said "ok, no probs".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We don't swing anymore. Our last meet was over 2yrs ago.

It was my decision to stop. I told Kate I didn't want to do it anymore and she said "ok, no probs".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

Having fun with other people is an added extra for us not a replacement so it would not be hard at all to give it up tommorow if one of us didn't want it anymore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

I'd only miss the going out, having a drink, laugh, social side of it. As for the sex part, my hubby reaches the parts other men fail to understand so I would be fine with not meeting if that's what we decided.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is fun, a hobby if you like. It would be as easy as giving up my Tuesday night dominoes club.

We do this for each other , if one of us didn't fancy it anymore they'd be no point in carrying it on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do it

Having fun with other people is an added extra for us not a replacement so it would not be hard at all to give it up tommorow if one of us didn't want it anymore."
That is a great answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is fun, a hobby if you like. It would be as easy as giving up my Tuesday night dominoes club.

We do this for each other , if one of us didn't fancy it anymore they'd be no point in carrying it on. "
No way . I love a good game of 5 and 3 s

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

[Removed by poster at 02/06/14 21:59:09]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been swinging for a long time both as couples and as a single. Whenever my partner of the time said NO then it was easy to stop

When single or with a partner who said yes then it was for BOTH our enjoyment.

Not much fun if only ONE of you is enjoying yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I was gonna say Toshn that you're 'reasons for swinging' don't really cover why a lot of couples swing i.e. just to have a bit of naughty underground adult play. A lot of couples, like ourselves, have a great sex life that doesn't need adding to. Anyway...you found that out on this thread lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would only pose problems for couples if they were on here for different reasons Tosh

Nette

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She will do as i tell her

I am going to Die

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters "

You ain't got a clue have you Ashy boy ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Bless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters

You ain't got a clue have you Ashy boy ?"

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Very easy to give up indeed, we have only recently started using the site again since before Christmas as one of us felt we needed a little break, it was no problem as we still had an amazing and exciting sex life with each other and now fancied dipping back in.

I think problems can arise when you stop being able to talk openly and honest with each other about your feelings. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit I would miss it. But having said that it is one of our very few rules that if one of us wants to stop, we stop. Just like if I'm thinking of meeting someone and my hubby isn't happy for whatever reason, I won't meet them. At the end of the day our relationship is far more important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

It would be an interesting experiment if everyone who said if their partner wanted to stop they would all happily. Try saying just that? I just have a feeling that quite a few would not be as happy as they say when actually faced with having that part of their sex life is removed?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of us decides we have had enough then that’s the end of it, no questions asked."

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be an interesting experiment if everyone who said if their partner wanted to stop they would all happily. Try saying just that? I just have a feeling that quite a few would not be as happy as they say when actually faced with having that part of their sex life is removed? "

I wanted a break for a few months...lots going on and such, getting annoyed by the same old messages etc , talked to hubby and we hid our profile until we are sure. Be it 2 weeks or a few months, he didn't question it, that's the way it should be with the right communication.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/06/14 04:23:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of us decides we have had enough then that’s the end of it, no questions asked."

Totally agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand you would all stop if if your partner wanted that . But my main question is more .if you played a lot at say clubs . Or liked more than one male joining you both . Or the male or female half had found there bi side on here . Would it cause problems if it was just back to you and your partner

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No problem with us we came into swinging together we leave it together ....... Simple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We stopped meets over 2 years ago, still keep our profile going but just to keep in touch with the wonderful ppl we have met along the journey, and we don't miss it at all, we have each other been together over many a year and are best friends as well as wife and hubby, and we still have a great sex life and a lot of what we do we have learned along the way, so yes it's is dam easy to walk away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you started swinging to spice up your sex life, then one decided to stop, where does it go from there?

Could the relationship honestly continue if there was something missing in the first place?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It would not be difficult at all, we have a brilliant, satisfying sex life with just the two of us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

"If you started swinging to spice up your sex life, then one decided to stop, where does it go from there?

Could the relationship honestly continue if there was something missing in the first place? "

I guess that could be an issue for couples that starter swinging because they felt they needed something extra.

I think a lot of couples start because their sex life is already so spicy lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you started swinging to spice up your sex life, then one decided to stop, where does it go from there?

Could the relationship honestly continue if there was something missing in the first place?

I guess that could be an issue for couples that starter swinging because they felt they needed something extra.

I think a lot of couples start because their sex life is already so spicy lol x"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

It wouldn't be a problem for us, we've a set of rules including should one of us decide to stop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I understand you would all stop if if your partner wanted that . But my main question is more .if you played a lot at say clubs . Or liked more than one male joining you both . Or the male or female half had found there bi side on here . Would it cause problems if it was just back to you and your partner

The turn on for us is watching the other enjoy themselves....ie him watching me with another man/men and me watching him ebjoying it and joining in.

If either of us were not enjoying it anymore then it isn't a turn on so it would seem pointless doing it.

I think if it takes over your life then you may miss it, but as much as we like the fun when it happens, it isn't something that we need to do.

I am almost certain there will be couples about who might have a problem if one wanted to stop but I doubt if you would get anyone admitting to it as their other half may not know they could be getting dumped if they don't play ball

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

for a few, swinging is the elastoplast that keeps their relationship together.

take the swinging away......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters "

You really don't understand couples who swing at all. Easy to stop as this is just additional occasional fun

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We take breaks whenever it gets stale for one or the other , and no questions asked .

However , in the 3 years since we started , we have always pretty quickly got back into it .

So the question is , if one of us had the overpowering desire to continue and the other didn't , what would we do ?

As others have said we would stop , but is a relationship going to survive in the long term if one partner feels compromised ? I don't know tbh ... It hasn't happened for us yet , and I hope it doesn't .

What I would say is this .... If there has to be a compromise such as one wants to swing and the other doesn't , there may well be issues to address somewhere down the line.

Any relationship should be an equal desire to engage in whatever both parties enjoy . If one wants to and the other doesn't then that dynamic has gone .

Can't see Iin that situation anything other than resentment and possibly boredom in the long run .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We take breaks whenever it gets stale for one or the other , and no questions asked .

However , in the 3 years since we started , we have always pretty quickly got back into it .

So the question is , if one of us had the overpowering desire to continue and the other didn't , what would we do ?

What I would say is this .... If there has to be a compromise such as one wants to swing and the other doesn't , there may well be issues to address somewhere down the line.

Any relationship should be an equal desire to engage in whatever both parties enjoy . If one wants to and the other doesn't then that dynamic has gone .

Can't see Iin that situation anything other than resentment and possibly boredom in the long run . "
Thankyou . You put the questions I wanted answering a lot more eloquently then I did .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters

You really don't understand couples who swing at all. Easy to stop as this is just additional occasional fun "
No I suppose I don't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We take breaks whenever it gets stale for one or the other , and no questions asked .

However , in the 3 years since we started , we have always pretty quickly got back into it .

So the question is , if one of us had the overpowering desire to continue and the other didn't , what would we do ?

What I would say is this .... If there has to be a compromise such as one wants to swing and the other doesn't , there may well be issues to address somewhere down the line.

Any relationship should be an equal desire to engage in whatever both parties enjoy . If one wants to and the other doesn't then that dynamic has gone .

Can't see Iin that situation anything other than resentment and possibly boredom in the long run . "

truthfully and well made

i know a couple from many moons ago who started on the scene were the male keen and eager to explore and the female was not so keen, however when the female started having more attention and as a result more fun the male became cold on the idea of swinging and they spilt up as a result.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it."

exactly this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do "

Very easy, done the things we first came on here to do, the only thing that has survived those original days is US, we take breaks frequently due to circumstances that just leave no space for swinging so we probably wouldn't stop so much as go on a break and not come back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it."

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess ."

can only speak personally, obviously, but neither of us are committed to anything other than each other.

we havent met anyone for ages because neither of us really wants to.

havent closed our account because when the mood takes, and we both agree, we will look again.

that said, i always leave it to her decision as im happy to, or not to, swing so we would never be in a position where i wanted to do something and she didnt, or indeed she wanted to and i dont.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It wouldn't be a problem for us, we've a set of rules including should one of us decide to stop."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess .

can only speak personally, obviously, but neither of us are committed to anything other than each other.

we havent met anyone for ages because neither of us really wants to.

havent closed our account because when the mood takes, and we both agree, we will look again.

that said, i always leave it to her decision as im happy to, or not to, swing so we would never be in a position where i wanted to do something and she didnt, or indeed she wanted to and i dont."

Thats sweet...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess ."

I suppose it would depend on how much a person values their relationship.

If they put a pastime ahead of their spouse then there must be something wrong with that relationship anyway?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess .

I suppose it would depend on how much a person values their relationship.

If they put a pastime ahead of their spouse then there must be something wrong with that relationship anyway?"

That's one way of looking at it .

Another may be that it's more than a pastime , more a lifestyle choice .

A bit like having to give up all the food you like for health reasons .... and embarking on a healthy eating lifestyle ?

Maybe an odd analogy but perhaps you see what I mean .

The question is being forgotten here , one wants to continue and the other doesn't .

So bearing that in mind , who is at fault ?

Clearly everyone thinks it would just stop , so does the one who wishes to continue feel happy about Iit ?

How long before the niggles raise their heads ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well, seeings as the default position of a 'normal' relationship, and i will suggest everyone has had it at one point or another, before embarking on promiscuity, is to be with each other, in a sexual way, without the involvement of others, so, if one partner wanted to stop and revert to the status quo, as it were, then surely, by the laws of humanity and all society holds decent, they would be correct.

IF we lived in a society where it is normal to not have 1 partner in marriage/a relationship, then i would suggest the one that wants to be monogamous would be being unreasonable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How long before the niggles raise their heads ? "

I guess that in part depends on why you enjoy swinging, Whilst there is a reciprocal give and take of pleasure from the third parties, for both of us the pleasure we derive is the pleasure our partner derives (if that makes sense!). So naturally if one wanted to stop then there would be no pleasure in continuing for the other even if we didn't stop if I was not enjoying it then the pleasure would not be there for L either, so she would possibly be the one to call the halt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"very easy.

we havent met anyone for a good while anyway, so its not too much of a miss lol.

swinging is supposed to add to what you have, not replace it.

Totally agree with you , but what if one of you decided you fancied it again , and the other didn't ?

Wouldn't the one who wanted to feel slightly resentful ?

It's hard to know unless one is in that situation i guess .

I suppose it would depend on how much a person values their relationship.

If they put a pastime ahead of their spouse then there must be something wrong with that relationship anyway?

That's one way of looking at it .

Another may be that it's more than a pastime , more a lifestyle choice .

A bit like having to give up all the food you like for health reasons .... and embarking on a healthy eating lifestyle ?

Maybe an odd analogy but perhaps you see what I mean .

The question is being forgotten here , one wants to continue and the other doesn't .

So bearing that in mind , who is at fault ?

Clearly everyone thinks it would just stop , so does the one who wishes to continue feel happy about Iit ?

How long before the niggles raise their heads ?

We don't treat this as a lifestyle, just a bit of extra fun, so can only answer for us and I can only find the same answer to be honest...if a person values this type of fun more than their partner then there is probably not much hope for that relationship anyway.

The person who does want to carry on might miss it, but it is like everything, it is something that people can do without...unless of course it is more important than your relationship....which brings me full circle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread this morning where a lady was saying that her partner wanted to stop swinging . It got me thinking . Couples Swing for various reasons .

To spice up there sex life .

One partner may want more sex then the other can give .

Just likes to watch there partner with someone else .

And I am sure there are many other reasons

So my question is ..After years of swinging and one partner wanted to stop . How hard would it be to just go back to the 2 of you and never again doing the things that you first came on here to do

I think that's the point they revert back to being cheaters

You really don't understand couples who swing at all. Easy to stop as this is just additional occasional fun No I suppose I don't

Didnt mean you Toshn I was commenting on Ash's statement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread