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Following on from the iq thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

drag your bum along the floor and blame the dog...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"drag your bum along the floor and blame the dog..."

Good idea but we've got tiles downstairs, really need a deep pile carpet for that to be effective

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"drag your bum along the floor and blame the dog...

Good idea but we've got tiles downstairs, really need a deep pile carpet for that to be effective "

you make a good point, back to the drawing board.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

are you wearing anything.... flushable

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if you have one of those knitted dolls people had with a spare loo roll under it...

you deserve all you get

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No doll and no I'm naked, arse scratching against the door frame is starting to look appealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.

Just don't get mixed up.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

anything washable to hand . for the future . i invest in baby wipes so theres a stopgap if theres a bogroll outage .. just sneak down and get another one .. i m not gonna say anything lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.

Just don't get mixed up."

I'm not there yet, one option is to just sit here until someone gets up

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

Hand towel that you don't mind bagging & throwing in the bin before anyone finds out? Or do what the oldies do & boil it on top of the hob, make soup!!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

What else is in the room... any bottles with peelable labels

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just wipe it on the walls and say you were protesting

you will need a crazed look, a dribble from the down side of your mouth and electro shock treatment....

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

or just a soapy hand followed by a really good wash

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.

Just don't get mixed up.

I'm not there yet, one option is to just sit here until someone gets up "
seems the best optoin to me .. just dont let on youve been in there for ages .. may i suggest a little bogroll cabinet lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"just wipe it on the walls and say you were protesting

you will need a crazed look, a dribble from the down side of your mouth and electro shock treatment....

"

That's it a dirty campaign viva la revolution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I heard that in some undeveloped countries, they always eat with one hand - because the other one is for wiping.

Just don't get mixed up."

Hence the term cack handed being the left! Always eat and greet with the right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the time that one of those little fluffy dogs come in handy

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is .....

..... lending a hand when you run out of toilet paper

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Lift the seat, lower your bum into the pan and flush. Wipe up the remnants with your pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handstand in the shower. Eyes and mouth firmly closed.

NB always check the toilet paper situation before sitting down

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

you haven't made it clear which bits need cleaning ....

In any case - just how shitty can your arse be ?

Right...... if you have a bath in there - run the tap and use it as a bidet then dry your clean fanwah and harseole on a towel or simply hang out of the window to air dry your bits.

If you don't have a bath in there - squeeze cheeks of arse together and waddle to the bathroom like a penguin.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If you have nothing at all

shake fanny in pan.

Wait two full minutes with legs wide open

Stand

Stand with legs wide open for a good five mins.

Bend over and stand with arse cheeks open for 24 hrs until poo has dried into clinkers and falls off.

Best I can do right now

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?"

Don't drop your phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you have nothing at all

shake fanny in pan.

Wait two full minutes with legs wide open

Stand

Stand with legs wide open for a good five mins.

Bend over and stand with arse cheeks open for 24 hrs until poo has dried into clinkers and falls off.

Best I can do right now"

Sounds like the voice of experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo "

She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?

Don't drop your phone. "

#lightbulbmoment... take the case off the back of the phone and use it as a scraper!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo

She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him "

I'm glad you got rescued. I'd hate to think how things would have been down there, otherwise

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo

She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him "
we all saw the legs and assumed a lady in distress lol .. wel if its the bloke .. its the ladys job to replenish bogrolls so you hasd every right to yell for fresh supplies .. on tbe other hand .. tbe bloke should put up a bogroll shelf to avoid similar outages in the future

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would wake up the person who finished the last of the toilet roll off without replacing it

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I would wake up the person who finished the last of the toilet roll off without replacing it "
.. this .. i hate playing end of bogroll russian roulette .. its like kitchen bin chicken

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I wonder if she's still sat there, asleep, on the loo

She's a he and was rescued by the missus where is the dulux dog when you need him "

In that case there is no need to shake your fanny .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?"

Is the old roll still in the holder? Could you not use the cardboard bit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?

Is the old roll still in the holder? Could you not use the cardboard bit... "

What fashion it into an arse spoon ! ?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sat on the toilet and I forgot to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard, everyone else is asleep, any ideas ?"

Lol when my girl was a toddler I used to call her to bring the new toilet roll x she toddle in..... With one sheet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/14 01:46:14]

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