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40% OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS SUFFERED BY MEN

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

40% OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS SUFFERED BY MEN.... view the vid below :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM

how many men have suffered domestic violence in their present/past relationships (that they will admit)

and how many people know of men who have been in this situation?

and what do people think in general about men suffering domestic violence...is it something that should be taken seriously or just laughed at as in the video above?

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And 55% is by women so who is the other 5%?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

Actually it's not at all surprising is it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see it on my phone. Is it the experiment with a woman being abused by a man (people rush to help) then a man being abused by a woman (people just laugh)...?

Saw that yesterday, thought it was pretty crap. Men need protecting too. Equally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol he likes percentages, other day about sumefin else lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

Actually it's not at all surprising is it..."

Its just far less reported to be fair so people here less about it bur not surprising at all if you think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All statistics, especially when they are about issues which are largely kept private, are suspect but it does happen. Sadly, some people are unable to control themselves and the victims feel trapped. It is not a topic that should be ignored by any means but not one which is fun to discuss.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Of cause it should be taken seriously as so should male rape.

Because of attitudes guys are scared of reporting it either because they dont think they will be believed or because they will be laughed at.

This needs addressing and highlighting far more than it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

Actually it's not at all surprising is it...

Its just far less reported to be fair so people here less about it bur not surprising at all if you think about it. "

That's my point.

A huge part of it is down to the male ego, it's just not manly to admit that you're being abused in some way by you wife/girlfriend etc. There's also the inherent fear that if you do report it no one will believe you or that people will think you did something to deserve it.

I suppose the second example could be said in either scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive just watched it and its quite shocking how differently people react

It should be taken as seriously as domestic violence against women,it must be so difficult for a man to feel that hes going to be taken seriously when you see reactions like those on the video

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It used to happen a lot where my mum lived there were some irate people that way not good to hear or see at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never heard of one man who suffered abuse from a woman. Plenty of women who have. Is it easier for men to up and leave an abusive relationship? Do women suffer more long term abuse because they are trapped with children to consider? Are men more capable of coping with abuse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

"

It is slightly funny to be fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and what do people think in general about men suffering domestic violence...is it something that should be taken seriously or just laughed at as in the video above?

"

Do you even need to ask that? Seriously the tone of tbat paragraphs soeaks volumes as to why it's not talked about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

It is slightly funny to be fair "

I'm glad I clearly don't share your sense of humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought there was some kind of sale going on at first.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thers a woman here i know that is well known for attacking her partners, shes been married a couple of times and lived with a guy, she reversed the car over one. Anyway february this year she stabbed her ex husband (he was eventually ok) she got sentenced a couple of weeks ago to 2 years and 4 months, nothing less than she deserves but because none of her other partners reported anything she got away with it for so long

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

It should never ever be laughed at!

I've said before on threads about female predatory teachers at school that it is disgusting the way that attitudes change depending on the gender of the victim.

Same applies for domestic violence against men. Abuse of any kind, against anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, sexually etc.should be challenged and stopped.

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"And 55% is by women so who is the other 5%? "
hermaphrodite's or eunoch's perhaps

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"lol he likes percentages, other day about sumefin else lol."
eh? come again? lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I've never heard of one man who suffered abuse from a woman. Plenty of women who have. Is it easier for men to up and leave an abusive relationship? Do women suffer more long term abuse because they are trapped with children to consider? Are men more capable of coping with abuse? "

You don't hear about because of comments like this from ash!

Just like you didn't hear about all of.these historical sex abuse cases at the time they happened because they thought they wouldn't be taken seriously.

Do men not consider their children when deciding to leave their family and their home then?

I don't think anyone is better able to deal with abuse.

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"It should never ever be laughed at!

I've said before on threads about female predatory teachers at school that it is disgusting the way that attitudes change depending on the gender of the victim.

Same applies for domestic violence against men. Abuse of any kind, against anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, sexually etc.should be challenged and stopped. "
having said that there are a few female teacher's...particulary my french teacher that i really wouldnt have minded if she had abused me...actually i do believe i had many dreams and fantasies regarding her "abusing" me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to work with a chap many years ago like in the 80's. Who was always coming to work with black eyes and bruises. Always loaning money off people Monday morning even though we got paid Friday.we always joked about the guy saying he was a pisshead and got into fights turns out poor guy was getting beaten by his wife and she was taking all his wage

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

On average 7 women and 2 men are killed a month by their ex or current partner. Female on male and male on male DV is increasing...It does not make the news as the media don't see it as a meaty story unless it's a high profile case....Male DV is on the increase...if you are the victim there are agencies there to support such a mankind...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wages every week and not working herself. We found out only when she threw a TV at him and hospitalised him. He was too embarrassed to say anything working in the building trade and all. It does happen

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"It should never ever be laughed at!

I've said before on threads about female predatory teachers at school that it is disgusting the way that attitudes change depending on the gender of the victim.

Same applies for domestic violence against men. Abuse of any kind, against anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, sexually etc.should be challenged and stopped. having said that there are a few female teacher's...particulary my french teacher that i really wouldnt have minded if she had abused me...actually i do believe i had many dreams and fantasies regarding her "abusing" me x"

See.....this is just wrong!!!!

There was a thread ages ago about a female teacher in Wales that got struck off due to being predatory to the boys in her class. A lot of guys posting on it were saying how they would have told theor son's to stop being soft and go for it, how great it would be, how they'd be up their like a drainpipe.

These attitudes are disgusting. If they were saying it to their daughters there would be uproar bit because it's boys it's ok? It's not ok. It's vile. If your son feels intimidated and abused by the same act as your daughter why is the response different?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you tend to think well what did he do to deserve it, when you dont know the circumstances of course, but there are some very scary women about these days.

i think life is more stressful for a lot of women these days so they lose their tempers more easily.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?"

Sometimes people can try too hard

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?"

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them..

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them.."
Which is why they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the 5% represents the children? How many times a year now are women convicted of having murdered their own children? Yes, i know men do also but the numbers of women doing so are no longer trivial.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them..Which is why they do. "

Clearly...says it all really

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

Thanks i wil try to tweak my behaviour to not offend. I wil soon be taking my medication that lightens me up and slows down my brain. X x X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Violence is violence is violence and should never be disregarded or laughed at. My ex abused me physically and raped me but when I went for help I was told it was 'part of being married and these things happen between a man and wife', that was over 20 years ago.

Whats happening now to men is what has happened with women for decades and more, it took a long long time for women to be taken seriously and men are not so far along that road. It's the responsibility of us all to take any kind of abusive behaviour seriously and not laugh at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Violence is violence is violence and should never be disregarded or laughed at. My ex abused me physically and raped me but when I went for help I was told it was 'part of being married and these things happen between a man and wife', that was over 20 years ago.

Whats happening now to men is what has happened with women for decades and more, it took a long long time for women to be taken seriously and men are not so far along that road. It's the responsibility of us all to take any kind of abusive behaviour seriously and not laugh at it."

Well i remember watching a program on telly about it in the 80s and my older brother was laughing about it because i think he thought the man was a wuss.

So its not something new but you dont hear about it so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably left the toilet seat up.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Probably left the toilet seat up."

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you tend to think well what did he do to deserve it, when you dont know the circumstances of course, but there are some very scary women about these days.

i think life is more stressful for a lot of women these days so they lose their tempers more easily."

Wow Am I misreading that or are you actually condoning it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them..Which is why they do. "

The attitude of some men on this thread is the reason this doesn't get talked about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason... "

Women should just put it down.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down. "

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them..Which is why they do.

The attitude of some men on this thread is the reason this doesn't get talked about"

You have to take into account its forum perception attitude to enhance potential meet possibilities you will probably find off site the attitude is markedly different.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them..Which is why they do.

The attitude of some men on this thread is the reason this doesn't get talked about"
bollocks to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Violence is violence is violence and should never be disregarded or laughed at. My ex abused me physically and raped me but when I went for help I was told it was 'part of being married and these things happen between a man and wife', that was over 20 years ago.

Whats happening now to men is what has happened with women for decades and more, it took a long long time for women to be taken seriously and men are not so far along that road. It's the responsibility of us all to take any kind of abusive behaviour seriously and not laugh at it.

Well i remember watching a program on telly about it in the 80s and my older brother was laughing about it because i think he thought the man was a wuss.

So its not something new but you dont hear about it so much."

I didnt say it was anything new I said attitudes towards men being abused is lagging behind.

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By *U1966Man
over a year ago

Devon

Was abused by ex other men are more likely

to rip the piss out of you rather than offer anything constructive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is the other 60% the mans pet dog he had from a previous relationship.?

You know what there are just certain subject that really don't need to be taken the piss out of...and this is one of them.."

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I hope that we get to the point, and soon, that violence against anyone in any situation is not condoned or laughed at. Male DV has either been on the increase OR, more likely, is finally being reported better and taken seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes. "

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine "

i wasn't fine before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

i wasn't fine before? "

Probably but I was just saying I make jokes to lighten the mood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

i wasn't fine before?

Probably but I was just saying I make jokes to lighten the mood. "

and you think domestic violence is a joking matter......

I work helping both male and female victims of it... most of them their lives are ruined. and it is not made any better by people thinking its a joke. 77 people lost their lives last year due to domestic violence. both men and women

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

i wasn't fine before?

Probably but I was just saying I make jokes to lighten the mood. "

as i said...time and place. Other posters on this thread tried to make jokes and got short shrift...all the best comedians know how to read the room first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

i wasn't fine before?

Probably but I was just saying I make jokes to lighten the mood.

and you think domestic violence is a joking matter......

I work helping both male and female victims of it... most of them their lives are ruined. and it is not made any better by people thinking its a joke. 77 people lost their lives last year due to domestic violence. both men and women

"

Ugh, I knew someone would take it seriously.

Having had to deal with this in my personal life (having to go to court at ten years old because of it) I make light of it because if not, I'd cry myself to sleep.

So I'm sorry if I offend you, but I know what I'm talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably left the toilet seat up.

Funnily enough I dealt with a case where the partner had beaten her boyfriend for that reason...

Women should just put it down.

Or people just just learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Also the time and place for jokes.

Yeah but some people do.

Sorry but I can't help myself. You'll be fine

i wasn't fine before?

Probably but I was just saying I make jokes to lighten the mood.

as i said...time and place. Other posters on this thread tried to make jokes and got short shrift...all the best comedians know how to read the room first"

Oh well. No one got injured. The world keeps turning all the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so do i and its not at any point a joking matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/05/14 20:50:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, you guys are making mountains out of a tiny throw away comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally believe that men do not get enough support when it comes to domestic violence. A lot choose to keep it quiet due to shame. And a belief that people will laugh and think they are weak. When the opposite is in fact true. It is commendable that they don't react in a violent way themselves. There are so many different ways for a woman who is a victim of domestic violence to receive help and support. If we truly want to live in a society where both sexes are treated equally, then surely this needs to be rectified. And taken more seriously.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"Of cause it should be taken seriously as so should male rape.

Because of attitudes guys are scared of reporting it either because they dont think they will be believed or because they will be laughed at.

This needs addressing and highlighting far more than it is.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally believe that men do not get enough support when it comes to domestic violence. A lot choose to keep it quiet due to shame. And a belief that people will laugh and think they are weak. When the opposite is in fact true. It is commendable that they don't react in a violent way themselves. There are so many different ways for a woman who is a victim of domestic violence to receive help and support. If we truly want to live in a society where both sexes are treated equally, then surely this needs to be rectified. And taken more seriously.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

It is slightly funny to be fair "

I shouldn't of made that comment. Bit insensitive. I'll take it back. It's not funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's 'weak' to react to a woman physically, it takes strength to take it all and do/say nothing.

I would always advocate anyone who is suffering any form of domestic abuse to come forward and speak to the right people about it, that's where the real strength comes into play.

Only one person should be ashamed and that should never be the victim!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's 'weak' to react to a woman physically, it takes strength to take it all and do/say nothing.

I would always advocate anyone who is suffering any form of domestic abuse to come forward and speak to the right people about it, that's where the real strength comes into play.

Only one person should be ashamed and that should never be the victim!"

The thing is, if he defended himself, he's more likely to face charges and a sentence.

Not funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

It is slightly funny to be fair

I shouldn't of made that comment. Bit insensitive. I'll take it back. It's not funny. "

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that is the real percentage, so many men proberly too ashamed to admit it.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abuse is abuse no matter what the gender of the perpetraitor and as such it should be viewed by society will equal disdain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's 'weak' to react to a woman physically, it takes strength to take it all and do/say nothing.

I would always advocate anyone who is suffering any form of domestic abuse to come forward and speak to the right people about it, that's where the real strength comes into play.

Only one person should be ashamed and that should never be the victim!"

I don't understand how it takes strength to do and say nothing, having been stabbed twice by females I can assure you it's not strong or brave, it's painful and messy.

If it was tried on me today I would lash out to protect myself and fuck the consequences as the last thing I want is to be thought of as a strong corpse.

Gimp

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

It is slightly funny to be fair "

Yeah, violence is always funny, lets hope it is never happens to you!

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

You say i love you boy ,i know you lie

i trust you all the same i dontknow why

cause when my back is turned my bruises shine

our broken fairytale

so hard to hide x x X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

It is slightly funny to be fair "

Try having been the victim of it for two years, I guarantee you its not fucking funny at all.

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

Happened to me from my ex, from 2 months into our relationship. Blamed it on the contraceptive pill she was taking, changed brands, still happened, to start with infrequently, then we got married, settled down and it happened with increasing frequency, including having knives pulled and thrown at me, having to barricade myself and our children in one of the bedrooms whilst she calmed down......everytime: "i'm sorry, it won't happen again" and " you make me like this". I'm no shrinking violet, but violence and the thought of hitting someone never crossed my mind. It's how she dealt with things and after a while, I thought it was normal....from what I read about domestic abuse, the things I experienced are not unique to me, they are a common pattern. Violence does occur to both genders, I am pleased that recognition of it happening to men is becoming more publicised. Violence is wrong, being in a relationship and being abused physically or mentally whilst using the label of marriage or that relationship as someway making it acceptable is wrong.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I have female relatives who suffered prolonged physical and emotional abuse with the wider world none the wiser. More recently I have provided a spare bedroom and a safe haven for two male friends who have been physically attacked by their partners. Attitudes are changing but slowly. More women and men are speaking out but more of both sexes need to.

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"I think it's 'weak' to react to a woman physically, it takes strength to take it all and do/say nothing.

I would always advocate anyone who is suffering any form of domestic abuse to come forward and speak to the right people about it, that's where the real strength comes into play.

Only one person should be ashamed and that should never be the victim!

I don't understand how it takes strength to do and say nothing, having been stabbed twice by females I can assure you it's not strong or brave, it's painful and messy.

If it was tried on me today I would lash out to protect myself and fuck the consequences as the last thing I want is to be thought of as a strong corpse.

Gimp"
one of my friends from school was stabbed to death by his gf :S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw this the other day. Quite surprising that people turn their heads or laugh when it's the man that's being abused.

Actually it's not at all surprising is it..."

I have witness this too and it shocked me

I was walking down the street with my daughter and a woman was thumping a man in the head, he was walking away telling her to pack it in, she was egging him on to hit her back but in the end he just run off, she chased him down the street but as she was quite a large woman she couldn't keep up and he just kept running, people was all stood round laughing and I thought I bet if it was him punching her they wouldn't have laughed, or if he had hit her back someone would have jumped in

why is it funny when a woman hits a man?

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By *tuartb1970Man
over a year ago

tunbridge wells

I was in a abusive relationship, not just physical but psychological

Would have knives thrown at me, clothes ripped, even my face scratched

Took a lot to finally get away from her, I had no where to go and felt trapped for years until a friend offered me a room

I never looked back and never laugh and joke about men in similar circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never heard of one man who suffered abuse from a woman. Plenty of women who have. Is it easier for men to up and leave an abusive relationship? Do women suffer more long term abuse because they are trapped with children to consider? Are men more capable of coping with abuse? "

that's the point a man would not openly say it for fear of beong laughed at. The children is just much of a factor for men as it is for women.

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen

During the breakdown of my marriage, my ex became violent and vicious. She attacked me often, tried her hardest to goad me into retaliating, but I knew that being male I would always be considered the villain of the piece if I did.

On one occasion I had to restrain her and take a hammer off her which she was threatening me with. First thing the next day she was down her doctors to get pictures of "marks" on her wrist on record, and then round her solicitors to get a letter threatening oustment due to my violent behavior.

As a male in a situation like that, there's nothing you can do except use absolute minimum force to protect yourself, and even then, you know the poor frail woman will be believed over the big tough violent bully of a man.

Eventually, she got her own way and I moved out. Then I was the bad father who had abandoned his children. She flouted any child contact agreements and tried her hardest to turn my kids against me. I endured death threats from her father, who took to hanging around my new home and verbally abusing me whenever he could.

When she re-married I thought things would improve, but no. The guy she took up with was a primitive neanderthal like her father, who now saw his role as her protector and champion. The first time he ever spoke to me was to tell me I couldn't park in front of my own house whilst picking up or dropping off my kids.

I've been attacked by the pair of them twice during child handover. Once I reported it to the police, but they counter alleged that I'd just gone in to a frenzy and attacked them. No independent witnesses or cctv - so all charges dropped.

I'm not traumatised or ashamed in any way, in fact I'm proud of my resilience and restraint. It just is the way the world is. Men simply won't be believed or taken seriously in such situations, so you just do what you can to protect yourself and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"During the breakdown of my marriage, my ex became violent and vicious. She attacked me often, tried her hardest to goad me into retaliating, but I knew that being male I would always be considered the villain of the piece if I did.

On one occasion I had to restrain her and take a hammer off her which she was threatening me with. First thing the next day she was down her doctors to get pictures of "marks" on her wrist on record, and then round her solicitors to get a letter threatening oustment due to my violent behavior.

As a male in a situation like that, there's nothing you can do except use absolute minimum force to protect yourself, and even then, you know the poor frail woman will be believed over the big tough violent bully of a man.

Eventually, she got her own way and I moved out. Then I was the bad father who had abandoned his children. She flouted any child contact agreements and tried her hardest to turn my kids against me. I endured death threats from her father, who took to hanging around my new home and verbally abusing me whenever he could.

When she re-married I thought things would improve, but no. The guy she took up with was a primitive neanderthal like her father, who now saw his role as her protector and champion. The first time he ever spoke to me was to tell me I couldn't park in front of my own house whilst picking up or dropping off my kids.

I've been attacked by the pair of them twice during child handover. Once I reported it to the police, but they counter alleged that I'd just gone in to a frenzy and attacked them. No independent witnesses or cctv - so all charges dropped.

I'm not traumatised or ashamed in any way, in fact I'm proud of my resilience and restraint. It just is the way the world is. Men simply won't be believed or taken seriously in such situations, so you just do what you can to protect yourself and walk away."

If it's still going on when you see them, try a wearable hidden camera to record it. If it gets violent, you will have a record to take to the police if you wish.

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"During the breakdown of my marriage, my ex became violent and vicious. She attacked me often, tried her hardest to goad me into retaliating, but I knew that being male I would always be considered the villain of the piece if I did.

On one occasion I had to restrain her and take a hammer off her which she was threatening me with. First thing the next day she was down her doctors to get pictures of "marks" on her wrist on record, and then round her solicitors to get a letter threatening oustment due to my violent behavior.

As a male in a situation like that, there's nothing you can do except use absolute minimum force to protect yourself, and even then, you know the poor frail woman will be believed over the big tough violent bully of a man.

Eventually, she got her own way and I moved out. Then I was the bad father who had abandoned his children. She flouted any child contact agreements and tried her hardest to turn my kids against me. I endured death threats from her father, who took to hanging around my new home and verbally abusing me whenever he could.

When she re-married I thought things would improve, but no. The guy she took up with was a primitive neanderthal like her father, who now saw his role as her protector and champion. The first time he ever spoke to me was to tell me I couldn't park in front of my own house whilst picking up or dropping off my kids.

I've been attacked by the pair of them twice during child handover. Once I reported it to the police, but they counter alleged that I'd just gone in to a frenzy and attacked them. No independent witnesses or cctv - so all charges dropped.

I'm not traumatised or ashamed in any way, in fact I'm proud of my resilience and restraint. It just is the way the world is. Men simply won't be believed or taken seriously in such situations, so you just do what you can to protect yourself and walk away."
ouch that sounds like a very nasty situation...sorry to hear that you had to go through it all and im glad that (hopefully) things are alot better for you now...upwards and onwards

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen

They all backed off a lot when I took to carrying a camera (this is before mobiles all had video recording).

Kids are grown up now, youngest about to go to uni.

Unfortunately she succeeded with my eldest who suddenly stopped all communication 12 years ago, my youngest spends more time at mine than at hers.

So whilst less than perfect, things did improve, and for the last 5 or 6 years my life has been pretty good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's 'weak' to react to a woman physically, it takes strength to take it all and do/say nothing.

I would always advocate anyone who is suffering any form of domestic abuse to come forward and speak to the right people about it, that's where the real strength comes into play.

Only one person should be ashamed and that should never be the victim!

The thing is, if he defended himself, he's more likely to face charges and a sentence.

Not funny."

This is true. I know someone who kept it quiet that his girlfriend beat him in crazy fits, stabbed him once too.

It's not always the case that these guys are soft and can't defend themselves, the opposite as they take it and resit the urge to retaliate.

It obviously got too much over the years. He went from defending and retaliated . . . It took one phone call to the police and he had the book thrown at him for DV.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"40% OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS SUFFERED BY MEN.... view the vid below :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM

how many men have suffered domestic violence in their present/past relationships (that they will admit)

and how many people know of men who have been in this situation?

and what do people think in general about men suffering domestic violence...is it something that should be taken seriously or just laughed at as in the video above?

xxxx"

I've been in this position in a previous relationship. I didn't run as I thought I could help her. But she refused to seek help saying that I had the problem!

Also authorities do not take it seriously at all when the male is on the receiving end of violence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im too lovable to hit

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By *or Fox SakeCouple
over a year ago

Thornaby

You can include false and malicious accusations to the police in this as well.

The ex lied to the police and had me threatened with arrest ( the crime was turning up at an agreed time to take my son out). Naturally the two wpc's that turned up saw a man and thought "bloke therefore he's in the wrong"..... She also lied to the court but again it's the situation where if it's a man version of events the courts give it little credibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never heard of one man who suffered abuse from a woman. Plenty of women who have. Is it easier for men to up and leave an abusive relationship? Do women suffer more long term abuse because they are trapped with children to consider? Are men more capable of coping with abuse?

that's the point a man would not openly say it for fear of beong laughed at. The children is just much of a factor for men as it is for women."

Where children are concerned the woman will usually have the upper hand. I know men who would leave in a heart beat but can't bear the thought of not having daily contact with their children. Some women use children as a weapon or blackmail tool

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"I've never heard of one man who suffered abuse from a woman. Plenty of women who have. Is it easier for men to up and leave an abusive relationship? Do women suffer more long term abuse because they are trapped with children to consider? Are men more capable of coping with abuse?

that's the point a man would not openly say it for fear of beong laughed at. The children is just much of a factor for men as it is for women.

Where children are concerned the woman will usually have the upper hand. I know men who would leave in a heart beat but can't bear the thought of not having daily contact with their children. Some women use children as a weapon or blackmail tool "
yeap are some nasty bitches about for sure .... And ultimatly it's the children that always suffer

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"40% OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS SUFFERED BY MEN.... view the vid below :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM

how many men have suffered domestic violence in their present/past relationships (that they will admit)

and how many people know of men who have been in this situation?

and what do people think in general about men suffering domestic violence...is it something that should be taken seriously or just laughed at as in the video above?

xxxx

I've been in this position in a previous relationship. I didn't run as I thought I could help her. But she refused to seek help saying that I had the problem!

Also authorities do not take it seriously at all when the male is on the receiving end of violence. "

I think authorities are taking notice now....there is a reported rise of males being the victims of DV so they are taking notice...

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