FabSwingers.com forum: Changed behaviour in forums

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have found my behaviour has changed in the forums since I've been using them, my opinions have changed in something's but I find myself avoiding threads which I think might end up being a battle, I used to have to have my say but now seem to avoid them, anyone else notice this ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just dip my oar in wherever and whenever I feel like it.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have found my behaviour has changed in the forums since I've been using them, my opinions have changed in something's but I find myself avoiding threads which I think might end up being a battle, I used to have to have my say but now seem to avoid them, anyone else notice this ?"

Yep I can confirm you have been posting less and I noticed !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much so. Having an opinion on here (all forums not just this one just to be clear) can be the same as putting your head on the chopping block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep know what you mean ! There are bullies in here that rather than let you have your opinion see it as their raison d'etre to bully you into submision whilst hiding behind the cyber curtain throwing insult and nastiness at you simply for having a differing opinion. But it makes you think twice but shouldnt stop you speaking up for what you believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean. I got pulled into a stupid battle yesterday, I've learned my lesson

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yep I can confirm you have been posting less and I noticed !!!

Nice to be noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In general yes I now sit back and watch, avoid the crap and controversy, don't go near the political threads and the rate my bits etc

I tend to just post in the fluffy threads or if I actually have a good reason to interject some of my not so wise wisdom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I start typing and then delete it as you always get certain people that will twist your words and try to start something that's not there.

Just pop in and have a read every now and then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be fair when I first came here I think I could of been one of the ones ready to have a heated discussion but I think this forum has made me more accepting and open minded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I start typing and then delete it as you always get certain people that will twist your words and try to start something that's not there.

Just pop in and have a read every now and then.

Ha ha ha, I love you guys, nice to know it's not just me. Having humiliated myself a no of times, I'm doing the same. Sitting on the fence is easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remain resolute in my stupidity but quite often I really can't be bothered to get involved in the debates as it's pointless most the time.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Mostly I stick to the lighter stuff but occasionally I choose a battle to join.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm serious less, have a laugh more. If anyone laughs at or with me that's cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I start typing and then delete it as you always get certain people that will twist your words and try to start something that's not there.

Just pop in and have a read every now and then.

Ha ha ha, I love you guys, nice to know it's not just me. Having humiliated myself a no of times, I'm doing the same. Sitting on the fence is easier

Yup..me no likey arguements and lost my faith yet again in human beings yesterday so retreated back in my shell..my eyes however are still open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I start typing and then delete it as you always get certain people that will twist your words and try to start something that's not there.

Just pop in and have a read every now and then.

Ha ha ha, I love you guys, nice to know it's not just me. Having humiliated myself a no of times, I'm doing the same. Sitting on the fence is easier

Yup..me no likey arguements and lost my faith yet again in human beings yesterday so retreated back in my shell..my eyes however are still open

What happened yesterday?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i post where we can have a laugh, or be of some help, i avoid now the ones where you can see people posting purely to aggravate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I start typing and then delete it as you always get certain people that will twist your words and try to start something that's not there.

Just pop in and have a read every now and then.

Ha ha ha, I love you guys, nice to know it's not just me. Having humiliated myself a no of times, I'm doing the same. Sitting on the fence is easier

Depends if the fence has pointy ends

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I am just here for the ANEL.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I just dip my oar in wherever and whenever I feel like it.....

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and stick to the light hearted stuff but sometimes get drawn into other issues. Sometimes I just remind myself I am here for a good time.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I gave up with the politics threads...I just post random stuff or about food and vodka mainly lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I stopped participating in the contentious threads a long long time ago. I normally just join in the banter or geeky help ones nowadays. I come on here for my own fun, not others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're not what they used to be that's for sure.

They are what WE make them though, so if they are going awry, maybe we should be looking inwards not outwards ?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"They're not what they used to be that's for sure.

They are what WE make them though, so if they are going awry, maybe we should be looking inwards not outwards ?"

The forums have changed greatly over the last 4 years since I've been on it...some for the better..some for the worse but like you say it's what we make it..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Regular forumites will know that my posts tend not to be serious. I'm not a miserable sod anyway and find what other people say and then others interactions hilarious. I can't help but join in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like to say what i think i dont care if others dont like it, i dont know many people on here and its not as if i have to work with them or anything.

i miss reading some of your posts as i thought they were quite interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learned loads, the forums are great for that. I've changed my opinion on some things too.

If the decent people stop posting, the idiots will take over. Keep posting!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am just here for the ANEL."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're not what they used to be that's for sure.

They are what WE make them though, so if they are going awry, maybe we should be looking inwards not outwards ?"

True, they are only as good as the people posting in them.

What stops me commenting a lot now is when I see that people don't like the OP's question and just post to start an argument instead of a debate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're not what they used to be that's for sure.

They are what WE make them though, so if they are going awry, maybe we should be looking inwards not outwards ?

True, they are only as good as the people posting in them.

What stops me commenting a lot now is when I see that people don't like the OP's question and just post to start an argument instead of a debate."

Yes, when I originally joined, there was a lot less of the vitriol. Still there was some but these days it seems that people are more prone to trying to shoot folk down.

Still, I shall pop up here and there with random daft comments and be my usual stupid self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree. I am posting less and less. The forums were a lot more fun a year or so ago. Its now so sanitised and bland, its become dull.

Add to that the fence sitters and sycophants and its just not the same, which is such a shame.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I don't think you have to change the way you are in contenious threads... but I do think more about how I put across a view....

I also then re-read it.. and count to 10....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the decent people stop posting, the idiots will take over. Keep posting!!

Our domination plans are going extremely well. First Fab forums, then the world. We've already made great progress in the UK thanks to UKIP.

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"i post where we can have a laugh, or be of some help, i avoid now the ones where you can see people posting purely to aggravate. "

Me too and defo avoid the 'heated debates', one I can't be bothered with my English and two, I can't 'debate' with people that think being 'abusive' is a form of communication...

Hope this makes sense now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite kind of poster will tell you how you are wrong without any experience of the subject themselves. Time and time again, same old faces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not afraid to say what I think, but tend to say it in a light hearted way, as not wanting to cause offence.

If anyone were to attack me though, I would just ignore them and not bite back. Life is too short to increase my blood pressure.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

I used to do a bit of gentle forum baiting but can't be bothered much anymore. some people take stuff a complete stranger says way to serious. I have never been nasty tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to go with what I fancy, but yes it can become a bit of a battle.

I do strongly believe though that things can be taken so wrong with the printing down, I am the worlds worst lol

You can not see people laughing ect, there is no physical expression, which can cause problems.

If I felt bullied, I would give it back or just ignore though.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I post less and less these days, I tend to just stick to the fluffy threads... Sometimes I take a look at the heated discussions that go on and if I feel I have a relevant comment I will add it.

But I'm more of a lurker now....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I post less and less these days, I tend to just stick to the fluffy threads... "

This ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I post on a topic i want to post on, regardless of how my opinion may be attacked or twisted by others. *shrug* my thoughts about life haven't undergone a major shift due to the forums, though i have gained insight into some areas and the view of others on topics. I've never set out to bully others into sharing my point of view, though. Whether online or face to face, that's just not how i operate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair when I first came here I think I could of been one of the ones ready to have a heated discussion but I think this forum has made me more accepting and open minded "

i think this forum has made me less accepting and open minded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am visiting the forums a lot more, a find a have better conversations with people in here than in the chat rooms

so thanks people

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

The forums were a lot more fun a year or so ago. Its now so sanitised and bland, its become dull.

Add to that the fence sitters and sycophants and its just not the same, which is such a shame.

But people say that all the time...it comes in cycles I think.

Many of the 'regulars' who post now wont have even heard of the people who were regulars a year ago, and those people probably wouldnt have heard of the people who were regulars the year before that...

People never think its as much fun as it was it was 'their era', if you know what I mean. I think its a good thing.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's fun having new people post. I was new once although I doubt many of you realized it at the time. Part of the good thing about this site is the new people. It used to have about 17k people online now its about 23k of a Friday evening. Thats good. Doesn't mean to say the old ones get dropped - far from it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Although I wish I hadn't been told what an Alaskan Pipeline was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't visit this website often and even less the forums but what always struck me was how very cliquish it is in here, and the 'ganging up' mentality that when one person takes offence/gets angry the rest join in. It's not happened to myself as I very rarely post but there always seem to be threads like that whenever I come on for a look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't visit this website often and even less the forums but what always struck me was how very cliquish it is in here, and the 'ganging up' mentality that when one person takes offence/gets angry the rest join in. It's not happened to myself as I very rarely post but there always seem to be threads like that whenever I come on for a look."

The pack mentality and clique is just something you have to develop a thick skin against

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums were a lot more fun a year or so ago. Its now so sanitised and bland, its become dull.

Add to that the fence sitters and sycophants and its just not the same, which is such a shame.

But people say that all the time...it comes in cycles I think.

People never think its as much fun as it was it was 'their era', if you know what I mean. I think its a good thing."

Yep, and some of us remember when there were no forums at all for a while .... it was nail biting stuff ...... had to have real debates with real life people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes very true, and the way people get uptight because you have different opinions to theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised no-one has mentioned the naughty step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very new to the forums, and have to say how surprised I was to see how heated some of the threads are. In fact some seem to become a little aggressive. I understand that people have strong views. But there is a more constructive way to put their points across, rather than becoming quite bullyish with their comments. After all, we all have our own opinions, it isn't fair for people to try and push their opinions on others. Being individuals, with our own thoughts and ideas on things is what makes everyone interesting. And they should not be put down for it. Or made to feel that their stupid just because somebody disagrees with what they say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/05/14 10:53:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/05/14 10:53:34]"

Tree-hugging isn't an insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes very true, and the way people get uptight because you have different opinions to theirs.

Very true. It's always fun to see tree hugger types having offended meltdown in any walk of life because someone shares an unpopular opinion right enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/05/14 10:53:34]

Tree-hugging isn't an insult

It's not intended to be either.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I just wade in whenever I fancy. It's what the forums are here for. In response to some of the previous comments then there is a definite forum pecking order and if you're not one of the gang it would be easy to feel overlooked. I've never been or wanted to be one of the cool kids though so I shall continue to post where it amuses me to do so or on the rare occasions when someone needs advice on something I actually have a clue about.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Don't use this thread to have a dig at people...please just stick to general comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tired of the forum in a matter of weeks.

It's social hierarchy: and you either kiss ass ( see compliment virtual strangers threads - there are thousands ) and become someone you loathe, or you simply sit on the forum bench waiting for the moment you may speak, without upsetting one of the mother hens or the men they fawn after.

I liked them at first - I tried to inject humour but I soon realised it's not for me: it's for people who want their egos stroking - and those that can't use Google for the most banal questions.

The common rule I've learned being here is: if you've got nothing to say, start a thread about it.

I'll get pilloried for this.

But I'll live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/05/14 10:53:34]

Tree-hugging isn't an insult

It's not intended to be either.

I know, one day i may become one especially at the start of the day. What woman doesn't like morning wood?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tired of the forum in a matter of weeks.

I liked them at first - I tried to inject humour but I soon realised it's not for me: it's for people who want their egos stroking - and those that can't use Google for the most banal questions.

The common rule I've learned being here is: if you've got nothing to say, start a thread about it.

I'll get pilloried for this.

But I'll live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tired of the forum in a matter of weeks.

I liked them at first - I tried to inject humour but I soon realised it's not for me: it's for people who want their egos stroking - and those that can't use Google for the most banal questions.

The common rule I've learned being here is: if you've got nothing to say, start a thread about it.

I'll get pilloried for this.

But I'll live.

Must disagree about the ego-stroking. I've been known to have the odd successful thread but most die a death, so it's a mixed bag. What I'm trying to say is that if you're relying on all your threads being successful (a form of attention perhaps), isn't that a form of ego-stroking? It won't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just post stuff, often it's random thoughts that make me smile, though I appreciate that others probably don't get my sense of humour. If I have experience on a question someone asks I may share info. it may be helpful, or maybe not what they do with it is up to them.

Bottom line is I like the forums, some of the threads can be repetitive, but that can also be a healthy sign of new people joining up / in so repeat away, if I am in the mood I may type an answer if not then I will read another thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tired of the forum in a matter of weeks.

I liked them at first - I tried to inject humour but I soon realised it's not for me: it's for people who want their egos stroking - and those that can't use Google for the most banal questions.

The common rule I've learned being here is: if you've got nothing to say, start a thread about it.

I'll get pilloried for this.

But I'll live.

My success is measured off line not on, perhaps that's where we differ.

I'd rather my threads died than become part of the Good Morning roll call clique.

The threads that do well are usually the self serving ones, or from a forum mother hen who has nothing to say but will say it anyway.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Maybe time to close it there

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