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What's your biggest bruise?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After weekend events the whole of my lower back and the top of my left buttock are very dark brown with patches of blues and purples, this is to date the largest bruise I've ever obtained, what's yours ?

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

i got a massive one on my cunt once whe i tripped slipped and fell on a cock

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i got a massive one on my cunt once whe i tripped slipped and fell on a cock"

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tore my achilles tendon hula hoop racing (dont ask !!!)the whole of my right leg was bruised for 6 weeks..then there was the DVT incident when i was cruising in the caribean,,,was pumped full of lovonex in my stomach twice a day for 4 days ..not a pretty sight i can tell you ....im just an accident waiting to happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think my biggest one is the one my ego suffered - it so often gets bruised but still i dont learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dog bit me last october.....was black/green/yellow over the whole of my thigh, from my knee to my hip....took weeks to start going down...the puncture wounds are still bruised now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the one I got on my coccyx from my one and only attempt at Ice Skating!!

Couldn't sit down without a cushion for over 6 months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what about when pumfery came at you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what about when pumfery came at you? "

had pig skin bruise on one side of head.....and corrugated iron bruise on other.....and black eyes..but bruise on leg from the dog bite was oh so much worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine was when jumping on one of the big ball's we execise on i jumped up and then went to sit back on it and the ball had bounced away my coccyx was a mess for 5 months and off work as i could not walk

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

I slipped on a flight of stairs, landed on my back, bruised from just above my knee right up to my waist, was rainbow coloured. Trauma meant my body forgot how to walk and at the age of 22 had to learn how to walk again. Let me tell you it's bloody scary, you take walking for granted but when your brain says errrrrrrr how do I do it??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fell of a bungalow roof and smashed me shoulder through a wooden fence that was quite a nice bruise lol xx

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"Fell of a bungalow roof and smashed me shoulder through a wooden fence that was quite a nice bruise lol xx "

I thought Santa's Elves were meant to stay in the sleigh?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fell of a bungalow roof and smashed me shoulder through a wooden fence that was quite a nice bruise lol xx

I thought Santa's Elves were meant to stay in the sleigh?... "

Yeah he wernt half mad at me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My car accident last year by a long way. I was black and blue from toe to armpit and had a terrible one from the seatbelt across my chest

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I had a medical procedure once that left me with a bruise down my right hand side from my waist right down to me knee. The kids thought it was hilarious and brought their m8s in one day to see how purple it was !

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

Not the largest, but possibly the most impressive/alarming was after I had my vasectomy... it was almost keyhole type surgery, with a 1cm incision and then lasers used to seal the pipes. No stitches, just a little plaster, and caught the bus home.. so didn't expect much bruising.... next day my cock, balls and about 5 or 6 inches radius onto my belly and thighs were various shades of blue, maturing over the next week into a rainbow spectrum of different hues!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

definitely the car crash for me as well cracked ribs huge bruise all over chest and abdomen, and a huge bruise on my right shin with a lump the size of an ostrich egg !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got knocked off my bike last year by a van, i had a fair few bruses but i had two that was huge, one was on my left shoulder where i hit the windscreen and the whole of my right thigh when i hit the road first, that was just totally black and went some very pretty shades of yellow after a few day lol funny enough tho i broke my pelvis and that didnt bruse at all

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I fell down a step one night and landed flat out (pissed up) i complained to my friends all night that my legs hurt but they told me to stop moaning. Next morning i woke up and both legs from the knee to the tip of my toe where black, lasted about 3/4 weeks. Still dont know how it managed to happen like that on both legs. I had a massive one on my thigh where messing a friend threw me across the room and i landed on the edge of a wooden settee and last year when i fell down the stairs one coverd a whole arse cheek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just remebered the best one ...I was tking some pills which made me bruise very easily ...the night befor e i was going on a 2 week holiday with my lovely mum i stayed overnight with one of my best buddies ...he had a sofa with wooden arms and liked to throw across the arms and shag me from behind.i woke up the next mornign covered in bruises from knee to thighs on both legs.. im sure my mum must have wondered where they came from but bless her she never asked !!

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

had a BIG pendulum fall while climbing in 76 bounced off about 60/70 ft of rock as my protection came out bit at a time ended up slamming into the wall I had been traversing away from. Was black and blue all down my back and right side (broken arm, leg and 3 ribs[they were the most painful]), my face swelled up like a football and I looked like the elephant man, was over a week later that the doctors noticed that I had broken 3 of my front teeth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there was a huge plank of wood that i was trying to break so i jumped on it in the middle...sure you can guess the rest

lots of comments about domestic violence...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tore my groin quite badly not so long ago, actually couldn't walk the first few days, and had no bruising at first, then suddenly came this giant multicoloured thing that went all the way down the inside of my thigh and round the back of my leg. As the injury healed the bruise slid it's way down my leg into my calf and disappeared, took about 4 weeks to do so.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

wellll not my bruise but a guy i was seeing for a longggggg time . he was wearing a kilt at a party and was bragging he had a biteable bum . so just to prove him rite i bit it lol !!!! i was mortified when i saw the bruise it left though !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bum when i first learnt to ski

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"My bum when i first learnt to ski "

my bum after a meet this morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My bum when i first learnt to ski

my bum after a meet this morning "

What happened?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"My bum when i first learnt to ski

my bum after a meet this morning

What happened? "

i was a bad girl and had to be punished

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My bum when i first learnt to ski

my bum after a meet this morning

What happened?

i was a bad girl and had to be punished "

Sounds like fun! He was a lucky man

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"My bum when i first learnt to ski

my bum after a meet this morning

What happened?

i was a bad girl and had to be punished

Sounds like fun! He was a lucky man "

bit of a jaunt i know but you can punish me anytime

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I had 2 half brothers

and 2 step brothers

and a dad that was a boxer

When I was a child I don't think there ever was a time, I never had a bruise lol

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By *anfarMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I used to go out moshing a lot (yeah silly, especially at my age) and being d*unk at the time rarely felt the pain.

2-3 days later and I'd regularly be covered in bruises of varying degrees of colour and size with no clue who gave them to me.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Ego.

I said EGO.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

One i had on my ass a couple of weeks ago, hand shaped....ooooooooh was a lovely purple blue colour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine would be from when I was about 12 years old. I was sat on a swing with my hands holding onto the chains at about head height. Next thing a blummin golf ball hit me on the inner elbow..... whole arm was black and blue for weeks and the boy responsible was suspended from school! (even though it was an accident and happened at the weekend outside of school)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I used to go out moshing a lot (yeah silly, especially at my age) and being d*unk at the time rarely felt the pain.

2-3 days later and I'd regularly be covered in bruises of varying degrees of colour and size with no clue who gave them to me."

what is mushing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fell of a bungalow roof and smashed me shoulder through a wooden fence that was quite a nice bruise lol xx "

That'll teach ya to go nicking lead..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to go out moshing a lot (yeah silly, especially at my age) and being d*unk at the time rarely felt the pain.

2-3 days later and I'd regularly be covered in bruises of varying degrees of colour and size with no clue who gave them to me."

not something you ever stop doing...i find myself in the pit every now and then still....never a wise idea mind

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I used to go out moshing a lot (yeah silly, especially at my age) and being d*unk at the time rarely felt the pain.

2-3 days later and I'd regularly be covered in bruises of varying degrees of colour and size with no clue who gave them to me.

what is mushing?"

something you say to huskies when dog sledding

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Not me but nearest is my dad fell through the shed while on top building a roof and cracked all but 3 ribs on his side each one in 2 seperate places. Banged head and puncture lungs.... so his bruise was from behind his knee up to his shoulder and all across his bum and back.

On a positive side he got a ride in an air ambulance for it tho!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"On a positive side he got a ride in an air ambulance for it tho!!"

oh well thats good then

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By *lurmMan
over a year ago

Swansea-ish

Not initially the biggest, but on my stag day I got shot in the buttock close range with a paintball gun...it started off teeeeeny and then flowered into a whole 1/2 bum full!

I divorced 2 yrs later....no connection at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hit a badger and came off my motorbike back in 2004. Broke 3 ribs, where rib cage joins the spine, and was bruised all down my left side from my shoulder to my ankle, and had gravel rash on my thigh too as well as the bruising it fookin hurt

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Jack that does sound bad.

Meant to say as a thanks my mum raised a bucket load of money for the air ambulance as they very much saved his life.

May start a new thread on what has happened in their life they are most grateful for.

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By *ornyandnymphoCouple
over a year ago

poole


"I hit a badger and came off my motorbike back in 2004. Broke 3 ribs, where rib cage joins the spine, and was bruised all down my left side from my shoulder to my ankle, and had gravel rash on my thigh too as well as the bruising it fookin hurt "

Isn't that animal cruelty lol

You shouldn't hit animals!!

On a serious note, it is like hitting a brick wall with them buggers.

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By *ornyandnymphoCouple
over a year ago

poole

My worst bruising must have been after my cranial decompression 14 years ago. The whole of my neck was bruised, my face looked like I'd done 20 rounds with mike tyson. Couldn't eat solid food for 3 weeks and my eyes were little slits, and I couldn't read because the bloody words kept moving lol

But hey it prolonged my life, and bruises heal.

I wish the ones on my ass would

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By *istress SassyCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Mine seem so mild in comparison to some of these!

The first was on my bum/back/hip when I fell off a chair (well actually it collapsed when I was sat on it - it was a rickety old thing!) which was huge and black and purple for what seemed like weeks.

The second was on my upper arm when I had my first implant done. I agreed to be a guinea pig for a nurse learning how to do them, so after it going in and out a few times, jiggled round to be positioned correctly etc. I was left with it stabbing me, unexpectedly for several weeks afterwards until it settled down and a bruise that was easily over six inches in length and went all the way around my upper arm. Had to wear long sleeves otherwise it meant explaining again and again what happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hit a badger and came off my motorbike back in 2004. Broke 3 ribs, where rib cage joins the spine, and was bruised all down my left side from my shoulder to my ankle, and had gravel rash on my thigh too as well as the bruising it fookin hurt

Isn't that animal cruelty lol

You shouldn't hit animals!!

On a serious note, it is like hitting a brick wall with them buggers."

On my insurance claim form, I wrote that I hit a badger on a motorbike....I got a letter back asking for the details of the other vehicle, WTF...felt a right prat writing back to say I was on the motorbike, the badger was on shanksy's pony.....was expecting another letter asking if there was an iminent claim from the pony

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

Went to a social in Ipswich late last year with patrickn pussy...stayed in their shagmobile (motor home)...had a great evening...went back to the van and went to bed...got up for a wee...totally forgetting that I was in a bunkbed five foot above the floor...bounced off the table and up two steps...there wasn't much of me that wasn't bruised (and broke a toe).......and Pat n Pussy just kepton snoring

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