FabSwingers.com forum: when and how you say your a swinger?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Met someone online on a different site, and things have been going pretty well. We've been skyping alot. We're planning to meet soon and go out for the day together. What I've been thinking of is if things carry on going so well, say on the meet and stuff and we decide to go out again when do you come out and say hey i'm on a swinging site, I've met people for sex and so on. Kinda worried what the reaction will be. I like upfront, open honest relationships from the start, but doesn't seem like something you can just bring up.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I don't honestly think there is any easy way of "breaking him in gently" as it were. You may have to bite the bullet and tell him straight out early doors or perhaps hide your profile and see where the relationship leads. Honesty is always the best policy where trust is concerned.

What ever you decide, best of luck anyway

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think my mind is so sexualized these days that I think any man would be delighted you're a swinger and gleefully join in. However, from mild conversation with people at work they allege many sexual partners to be disgusting behaviour. I said 'each to their own and other peoples' haha I got some stern looks. Tell him asap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say the following

Hi Im Ed Winchester and today i will be mainly swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand your dilemma. I have a profile on a mainstream site and many of the men there specify they do not wish to meet ' players' or those who have messaged people for sex. It is not widely acceptible as a lifestyle choice. Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi its great to meet you at last....oh and this is Ramone ive brought him along for the spitroast i hope you dont mind.

Gimp

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Why do you need to say it? When you met guys before you were on here did you tell them about your previous sexual partners then?

Are you going into this thinking you are definitely going to want to swing even if you like this guy and he likes you but he doesn't want to swing?

Is swinging mote important to you than a loving relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally understand your dilemma. I have a profile on a mainstream site and many of the men there specify they do not wish to meet ' players' or those who have messaged people for sex. It is not widely acceptible as a lifestyle choice. Good luck xx"

I would never tell someone.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

When I was dating I found that the second you say anything about your sex life that's all it became about....sex. If you want to meet someone who likes you for you keep sex out of the conversation in my experience (of course that goes out of the window if you meet your partner on here lol)

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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago

Darlington

I personally wouldnt say anything. However ever if hes a keeper, I would ask some questions or make comments about swingjng to gauge his reactions and would ask myself if I wanted to swing with him in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Met someone online on a different site, and things have been going pretty well. We've been skyping alot. We're planning to meet soon and go out for the day together. What I've been thinking of is if things carry on going so well, say on the meet and stuff and we decide to go out again when do you come out and say hey i'm on a swinging site, I've met people for sex and so on. Kinda worried what the reaction will be. I like upfront, open honest relationships from the start, but doesn't seem like something you can just bring up. "

I have learned to my detriment on occasion that honesty doesn't always pay. If you intend to form a relationship and continue to swing, then obviously you must 'fess up' if your going to stop and give it a go, your past is your past. If you want to keep swinging and he won't accept it, is he the guy for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I believe in being totally honest with my partners. I told my current girlfriend before we got together that way she could decide whether or not she can trust me. I've closed all my accounts on other sites and the only reason I'm still on here is for the forum and to banter with friends, she also knows about it. If I ever feel tempted I'll close this account too.

In the OP's situation though I can understand the hesitation to tell her new perspective partner. What if she tells him and he then simply views her as a potential sexual conquest rather than a long term relationship prospect? If I were her I'd probably give it a few dates and see how you feel about each other before dropping the bombshell.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I probably wouldn't carry on swinging if I did get into a relationship, I never said it was more important. Its just if say we did get into a relationship I have to disclose about another past relationship. In my mind if I have tell him about where my daughter came from (normally I've found when I've been on dates there's always questions about her father + theres a court case going on prosecuting him so I'd have to say about going to court and stuff) then it will lead to questions about my recent 'adventures'.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"When I was dating I found that the second you say anything about your sex life that's all it became about....sex. If you want to meet someone who likes you for you keep sex out of the conversation in my experience (of course that goes out of the window if you meet your partner on here lol)"

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

i met a guy from pof dated him and NEVER told him i had been a swinger with my ex he said i was very sexy .so i just said that was cos of my ex telling me not just to lie there .

and if i date a guy from the vanilla world

i would give swinging up in a flash ..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I probably wouldn't carry on swinging if I did get into a relationship, I never said it was more important. Its just if say we did get into a relationship I have to disclose about another past relationship. In my mind if I have tell him about where my daughter came from (normally I've found when I've been on dates there's always questions about her father + theres a court case going on prosecuting him so I'd have to say about going to court and stuff) then it will lead to questions about my recent 'adventures'. "

Apart from the stuff about your daughter I still don't see why you have to tell them you are or have been a swinger.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I do tell new people I meet... I say something I'm the very early days or conversations about the clubs I go to and let the convo run from there.

It's not been a problem for me, although I'm not looking for a life partnership.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go with the flow, the past is the past, and the future is the future...

What I mean by this, not everyone in your life, even someone special, has to know everything, and the future is mysterious... never know what lies ahead.

Get to know him, and like how most cpls do first start, take their advise on how to bring it up, if it ever is suggested.

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By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago

South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire

Why not have a little fun... Jokingly ask him whet his wildest fantasy is and if it is too straight. Re ask... No come on, what is your fantasy and keep the banter light hearted. Be a little suggestive.

Or ask him what is on his sexual 'bucket list'. Take turns with the answers and see where it goes.. You should get a feel for how open minded he is..

Hope that help.. Have fun and good luck.. If you get the feeling he won't be up for it. It might not be a long term option imho

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