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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? " Now. We all know what kids are like for answering their phones and when they do answer depending what they got to say as to how long the call is. How does your daughter feel about it. This is going to sound aweful but it does sound as though he was looking for an excuse. | |||
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"Lovelies, it's hard work for those of who have it all in our ears, from the ex and from the kids! But there are the lovely times too, and knowing you are storing up smiles for later! Absent dads, read and weep! " Not all absent dads are absent by choice,some are extremely loving, though most are. Sadly, if fathers do not want to see their offspring regularly, at frequent intervals etc then there is little can be done. The Courts recognise that men cannot be made, by way of Order if necessary to see their offspring regularly, to a pattern or quota. It's often tragic, but only time and the needs and feelings of your children will determine the outcome. Whilst understandable, and whilst i would somewhat agree with you, the bat is not the answer. All you can do is love your kids the best you can, give em as much attention as you can or they need, and keep trying to arrange contact between child and father, if thats what the child wants. Hope it helps. | |||
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"Lovelies, it's hard work for those of who have it all in our ears, from the ex and from the kids! But there are the lovely times too, and knowing you are storing up smiles for later! Absent dads, read and weep! Not all absent dads are absent by choice,some are extremely loving, though most are. Sadly, if fathers do not want to see their offspring regularly, at frequent intervals etc then there is little can be done. The Courts recognise that men cannot be made, by way of Order if necessary to see their offspring regularly, to a pattern or quota. It's often tragic, but only time and the needs and feelings of your children will determine the outcome. Whilst understandable, and whilst i would somewhat agree with you, the bat is not the answer. All you can do is love your kids the best you can, give em as much attention as you can or they need, and keep trying to arrange contact between child and father, if thats what the child wants. Hope it helps. " not something I could never understand. What if women felt the same way "oh, I just can't be arsed today" and just walked away from their child...see what happens to them in the court! the man was an equal in creating the child and i think, and this would benefit dad's that dont get access too, that there should be a joint responsibility towards the child. they dont ask for the life we give them, we owe it to them that both parents be equally active. | |||
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"Lovelies, it's hard work for those of who have it all in our ears, from the ex and from the kids! But there are the lovely times too, and knowing you are storing up smiles for later! Absent dads, read and weep! Not all absent dads are absent by choice,some are extremely loving, though most are. Sadly, if fathers do not want to see their offspring regularly, at frequent intervals etc then there is little can be done. The Courts recognise that men cannot be made, by way of Order if necessary to see their offspring regularly, to a pattern or quota. It's often tragic, but only time and the needs and feelings of your children will determine the outcome. Whilst understandable, and whilst i would somewhat agree with you, the bat is not the answer. All you can do is love your kids the best you can, give em as much attention as you can or they need, and keep trying to arrange contact between child and father, if thats what the child wants. Hope it helps. " Sweetie, totally agree. When you've watched this lovely thing grow from a blob into a beautiful young woman, nurtured her alone for pretty well all of that it is wonderful to know what she and I have done between us, totally unaided and at times against all odds! x | |||
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"As a single parent and bloke get tired of the "tag the absent fathers, take the passports off the absent fathers" only this week was at CSA tribunal after nearly 7 years of ex wife saying why she shouldn't have to contribute to her kids and me saying she should Rant over lol, but can we call them absent parents lol" Can I please be first to say sorry! Not a sexist thing, just I was so peed off to receive the txt, have to be the one to deliver the news that your father did not understand that you cannot receive his txts during your lessons or sleep periods so is once again abandoning you! Sorry! Hurts! Bat please! | |||
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"Lovelies, it's hard work for those of who have it all in our ears, from the ex and from the kids! But there are the lovely times too, and knowing you are storing up smiles for later! Absent dads, read and weep! Not all absent dads are absent by choice,some are extremely loving, though most are. Sadly, if fathers do not want to see their offspring regularly, at frequent intervals etc then there is little can be done. The Courts recognise that men cannot be made, by way of Order if necessary to see their offspring regularly, to a pattern or quota. It's often tragic, but only time and the needs and feelings of your children will determine the outcome. Whilst understandable, and whilst i would somewhat agree with you, the bat is not the answer. All you can do is love your kids the best you can, give em as much attention as you can or they need, and keep trying to arrange contact between child and father, if thats what the child wants. Hope it helps. not something I could never understand. What if women felt the same way "oh, I just can't be arsed today" and just walked away from their child...see what happens to them in the court! the man was an equal in creating the child and i think, and this would benefit dad's that dont get access too, that there should be a joint responsibility towards the child. they dont ask for the life we give them, we owe it to them that both parents be equally active." Not wishing to dwell or argue but consider this : If it gets to Court, it is usually the father FIGHTING ( go away notts lol ) for contact and usually glad and willing to have as much as possible. | |||
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" PS i recall once reading that the CSA were processing 279,000 absent mothers. Tragedy for the children, either way. And frequently, although not in your case, it is the "possessive" parent drives the other parent away, whether explicitly otherwise. I think CAFCASS were proud to state that 61% of children they dealt with still saw the "other parent" two years later. 39% of children ceasing to see the other parent within two years, with their input, is f*cking disgraceful, nothing to brag about. I wish the OP and children, all the best. 39% of children " I could contribute a whole essay to this thread after 6 years of been in and out of court but its 3 in the morning and my bed is calling. What i will say, WITH A PASSION...cafcass...need to take there rose tinted glasses off!!! | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? " At the end of the day your daughter had her mum, he's the one thats missing out on seeing his child grow up, hes the one that going to grow old lonely, hes the one that one day will realise his mistakes by then your daughter may not want to see him, to say hes not picking her up for not answering the phone just sounds like an excuse to me, my kids dont always answer the phone when i call i dont boot them out for it, i sometimes wonder in relationships like that if the children are better off not seeing their dad at all rather than being let down all the time, i know that sounds harsh but their nothing worse than a dissopointed child | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? " Well what can I sat, dead beat dads do ya f@&king head in, it is an excuse as he has got other plans, my son and me are best friends, he is the world to me, even tho he stays with his mother I see himost days and always try to get back so I can meet him from school, why do people try and us children as a play off or not even visit???? We live in a world where it's to easy to just have children and then not be responable enough to be part of there life,, I could go on all day about this, | |||
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" PS i recall once reading that the CSA were processing 279,000 absent mothers. Tragedy for the children, either way. And frequently, although not in your case, it is the "possessive" parent drives the other parent away, whether explicitly otherwise. I think CAFCASS were proud to state that 61% of children they dealt with still saw the "other parent" two years later. 39% of children ceasing to see the other parent within two years, with their input, is f*cking disgraceful, nothing to brag about. I wish the OP and children, all the best. 39% of children I could contribute a whole essay to this thread after 6 years of been in and out of court but its 3 in the morning and my bed is calling. What i will say, WITH A PASSION...cafcass...need to take there rose tinted glasses off!!!" yep, wouldn't want the noose, or blindfold, to knock them off | |||
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"Lovelies, it's hard work for those of who have it all in our ears, from the ex and from the kids! But there are the lovely times too, and knowing you are storing up smiles for later! Absent dads, read and weep! Not all absent dads are absent by choice,some are extremely loving, though most are. Sadly, if fathers do not want to see their offspring regularly, at frequent intervals etc then there is little can be done. The Courts recognise that men cannot be made, by way of Order if necessary to see their offspring regularly, to a pattern or quota. It's often tragic, but only time and the needs and feelings of your children will determine the outcome. Whilst understandable, and whilst i would somewhat agree with you, the bat is not the answer. All you can do is love your kids the best you can, give em as much attention as you can or they need, and keep trying to arrange contact between child and father, if thats what the child wants. Hope it helps. Sweetie, totally agree. When you've watched this lovely thing grow from a blob into a beautiful young woman, nurtured her alone for pretty well all of that it is wonderful to know what she and I have done between us, totally unaided and at times against all odds! x " you deserve that ,for the hurt, no doubt you have had and continue to have on behalf of your daughter .It sounds like it is a control issue for this man ..ie :dont answer you phone ...i dont come and i punish you for it .. Fuck him ,do you really want your kid exposed to that sort of bloke. Keep doing a great job turning out a lovely well balanced human being ,put away your cricket bat and smile that she is all yours . He has noting but bricks mortar and money,all of which you cant take with you...the only thing you take with you are memories... | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? " how many mothers out of spite and even badness will not let there kids see there father. i know of two women. | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? how many mothers out of spite and even badness will not let there kids see there father. i know of two women. " and vice versa,wont let the father see the kids. | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? how many mothers out of spite and even badness will not let there kids see there father. i know of two women. and vice versa,wont let the father see the kids. " I know of one too! | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? " To the OP: As a coach I can tell you that if I were coaching you we'd be exploring the fact that you cannot change his behaviour, only your reaction to it. You are angry and hurt but that will not make any difference to him. All you can do is look at how it makes you feel and find a way to move through that to a better place. For all that, it is your daughter's feelings that matter the most. Have you talked to her and asked her how she feels? Have you told her how you feel? She may not be as bothered as you are. Will hitting him with a cricket bat help her? Aside from venting your anger will it help you? You have options in the way you react, it's a question of finding the one that helps you get through your hurt at his despicable behaviour the most. Good luck x | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? how many mothers out of spite and even badness will not let there kids see there father. i know of two women. " a lot more than you think what amuses/annoys me is that the Courts pretend they act in the interest of the kids | |||
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"My ex chooses to only see our daughter 3 or 4 times a year. We only live 150 miles apart, he doesn't need to work and does not, has an income of £40k pa, non-mortgaged house, he's older than me, all of which I walked away from with nowt! Now he says he's not gonna pick her up for the half term cos he called and she did not pick up. In these circumstances, at what point is a cricket bat acceptable? how many mothers out of spite and even badness will not let there kids see there father. i know of two women. a lot more than you think what amuses/annoys me is that the Courts pretend they act in the interest of the kids " The problem with the courts and cafcass is common sense never comes in to it, its all by the letter of the law! Perfect example, my ex told my daughter who was 4 at the time that he was going to take her from school and run away with her and she would never see her mum again, from him saying that wouldn't leave my side, even in our house with doors and windows locked, she was scared of school, she began sleep walking, wetting the bed she was a wreck. When we did go out her dad followed us everywhere, he even used to stand outside our house for hours just staring at the house. It got so bad we had to move, move school and change our names. Silly me when we did this i always knew he could get in touch with us via my solicitor. What did the court say when we finally went to court...i over reacted because he didn't have the means to run away with her. Fuck that! he might not have the means but he turned his 4 year old daughters life upside down, and mine but that's beside the point im an adult i can cope with it, she innocent and didn't deserve any of what he put her through and still to this day puts her through. | |||
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