FabSwingers.com forum: Kids..

By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

When you meet someone new how long do you think it's right to wait before you introduce them to your kids?

Interested in opinions from the men and the ladies on this one to see if they differ.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Until you feel safe and that they won't leave the kids feeling like they have lost a parent as soon as they get used to them. It has to be a serious relationship.

I am always shocked when I hear of fuck buddies being introduced to children and meets happening in the home with the children there and I wouldn't ever think that was ok.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

It depends how long it takes for you to decide you think it's going to be more than a casual fling.

When you think you're likely to be seeing each other for a while and both agree it's appropriate and the right time seems like a good time to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're meeting for sex why are kids coming into the equation?

Not like how that sounds, but unless you're thinking of giving it a go together then they should never meet anyone??

I don't know, just my thoughts. I've met in the past with a lass and kids and said I don't want to ever meet them. I'll ask of there well being but never to see them. Probably one of those no right or wrong answer things??

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By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

"If you're meeting for sex why are kids coming into the equation?

Not like how that sounds, but unless you're thinking of giving it a go together then they should never meet anyone??

Sorry I didn't mean a fab meet. I meant if you start dating someone x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I waited about 6 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its dependant on the situation.. for me it would be near impossible to date someone as i get zero free time away from her. Any man worthy woulf ultimately accept we come as a pair so even early days i guess she might be introduced. Strictly as a friend though and id not show any kind of affection towards the guy infront of her.

Women have male friends and on the face of it to her thats all it would be.

Naturally id try very hard to get nights away etc but it would take someone special

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By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

"Its dependant on the situation.. for me it would be near impossible to date someone as i get zero free time away from her. Any man worthy woulf ultimately accept we come as a pair so even early days i guess she might be introduced. Strictly as a friend though and id not show any kind of affection towards the guy infront of her.

Women have male friends and on the face of it to her thats all it would be.

Naturally id try very hard to get nights away etc but it would take someone special"

I'm in the same boat as you, not that I've met anyone i was just curious. Fortunately my mum lives up the road and would come here so I could go out on dates etc but id be very wary of letting them stay over for a long time I think. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're meeting for sex why are kids coming into the equation?

Not like how that sounds, but unless you're thinking of giving it a go together then they should never meet anyone??

Sorry I didn't mean a fab meet. I meant if you start dating someone x"

Oh that's different then. Straight away I'd say!! Lol

Just use some common sense. 7 dates I reckon. Ball park figure. If I was the guy I wouldn't want to know until I was sure of her. It's not fair on the wee small people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah no way would i allow a guy to stay over for a while.

Its difficult.. you could have a decent relationship for 6 months for it to fall apart when children are introduced.

Its not ideal How i suggested id do things but it would be realistic for my situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so, evie and I have been dating a long time and it's not happened yet. There are a few reasons to it.

The main being that I want evie and I to have a very solid foundation before introducing the nipper. Things will naturally get tough when it happens, as kids act in different ways.

Secondly and this is maybe a little selfish on my part, but I like my alone time with evie and the nipper. I get best of both at the moment, and I know I will still be able to have that, but it will become more diluted.

I once rushed it with someone, who who then dumped me and I have to say it hurt me a lot. Nipper was a tad confused but carried on pretty much. As they say once bitten twice shy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced? "

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid. "

That makes sense to me. If children weren't involved you would ideally get to a solid point where you both want children and then work towards that.

The difference is that four relationships have to be established: yours with your child; yours with your partner; your partner's with your child; the three of you operating as one family.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid. "
good for you, too many people in my opinion rush into these things

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Not after the first date lol...

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"When you meet someone new how long do you think it's right to wait before you introduce them to your kids?

Interested in opinions from the men and the ladies on this one to see if they differ.

Not until i was sure myself of the person and even then i'd take it very very slowly. Never rush in to it & slowly explain to my kid who they were. Be patient & see how it goes but let the other person know from the start you have a child. Good luck with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid. "

I hope im not jynxing anything when i say this.. but you could have a long relationship and build that base but who is to say the relationship wont crumble 6 months after.

Not to say the introduction of your son would effect it or be the reason could have just ran its course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is all down to the person, I waited a few months then introduced him to my little ones, he stayed around for 2years but even now, nearly 2years since splitting my almost 4year old still talks about him

Totally understand what cute says, having a man around acting just as friend shouldn't confuse children, we all have friends

it can be hard for single mums to date but I'm sure most of them would put their kids first

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid.

I hope im not jynxing anything when i say this.. but you could have a long relationship and build that base but who is to say the relationship wont crumble 6 months after.

Not to say the introduction of your son would effect it or be the reason could have just ran its course.

That is true of everything in life. However, if you don't feel the time is right then that will come across to the child and your partner - that will affect what happens next.

If I was in this situation I would want to be CERTAIN that the other adult in the situation wouldn't be getting jealous or acting childishly about the time I spent with my child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long time, only then see how it goes, in case its a big mistake.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it gets past 3 dates I'll introduce him to my girls. They will give me a thumbs up or down. Thumbs up,he meets my son,thumbs down he's gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am odd on this.... But I won't have a normal relationship because I simply will not introduce a new man into my childrens lives.

So for me anything for me is kept separate from my family and no matter how I felt ...it's separate lives x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it gets harder as they get older. I have had two main rules my girls will never wake up to strangers in my bed and they will never have loads of uncles. My choice to stay single all these years and to be honest I have been a single mum for so long I dont know what it would be like in a relationship x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have kids, but I would be worried if someone wanted to introduce me to their little uns as a gf straight away as I wouldn't want to get involved in a child's life and then split with their father, losing the connection and possibly upsetting the child. Think I'd want to have a fairly solid relationship before being introduced to any children, and maybe at first being introduced as a friend till they get used to me being around.

Guess every situation is different though, and some would think that not being introduced to a child might mean you have your doubts about the relationship. End of the day though it's your child, and I'm sure you'll do what's right for you and your family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want anyone meeting my child hence when he is away at dads I have some fun then it's back to normality. This life suits me fine it feels the best of both worlds x

I am sure people know when it is the right time for them and good luck to anyone who ends up happy and in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/05/14 19:51:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not after the first date lol...

Would you introduce them before or after you asked what their intentions were?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am odd on this.... But I won't have a normal relationship because I simply will not introduce a new man into my childrens lives.

So for me anything for me is kept separate from my family and no matter how I felt ...it's separate lives x "

Same for me.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

My littlun met a few of my fwb's when I was single but he was just introduced to them as friends. I don't see a problem with that. Kids don't need to know the ins and outs (fnar, fnar) of their parents sex lifes. Proper girlfriends were basically the same, introduced as friends first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you meet someone new how long do you think it's right to wait before you introduce them to your kids?

Interested in opinions from the men and the ladies on this one to see if they differ.

I'm fascinated by kids cos they can have a shit without breaking eye contact. It's just like they are concentrating really, really hard...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid.

I hope im not jynxing anything when i say this.. but you could have a long relationship and build that base but who is to say the relationship wont crumble 6 months after.

Not to say the introduction of your son would effect it or be the reason could have just ran its course.

That is true. Just like introducing them early could have same effect. It could lead to him saying years down the line, my daddy always introduced me to his lady friends but never his man freinds.

For me getting the foundation of the relationship is vital. So that when he is introduced, we both sing from the same sheet, and he can sense it's all joined up. And as said before, I am a little selfish that I like me and evie time, and don't want to change that dynamic yet.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid.

I hope im not jynxing anything when i say this.. but you could have a long relationship and build that base but who is to say the relationship wont crumble 6 months after.

Not to say the introduction of your son would effect it or be the reason could have just ran its course.

because i wont let it crumble. i am very happy to take this at the speed it needs to go. I'd happily meet his ex to help smooth over any concerns that she had, i will steal my nephew to help put letsbe's son at ease on any days out - have a kid to play with so the focus snt just on meeting me etc

I want to be with letsbe more than anything and i am sure that whatever the future holds we will weather it out together.

Plus i am awesome and kids love me

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Wow that surprised me P.. wont the dynamic of the relationship change when lil man is introduced?

Yes it will. Which is why I want to make everything solid.

I hope im not jynxing anything when i say this.. but you could have a long relationship and build that base but who is to say the relationship wont crumble 6 months after.

Not to say the introduction of your son would effect it or be the reason could have just ran its course.

I want to be with letsbe more than anything and i am sure that whatever the future holds we will weather it out together.

Plus i am awesome and kids love me

Your posts, as a couple, never strike me that you are rushing things or taking each other for granted. Good luck when the day comes.

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