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Open Fab Auditions

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I am auditioning acts to perform at the social on June 28th at Jaydees. See http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/events/271567#message_5110697

We need some classy entertainment. What can you do?

Are you coming to the social and can offer us a turn? Want to come and need a good excuse? Want to sing and dance in front of a mostly sexy audience?

Present your act here.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I can't carry a tune in a bucket, my party piece is underwater BJs...not sure if there'd be any call for that

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, my party piece is underwater BJs...not sure if there'd be any call for that "

I think that can be arranged. What skills do you bring to this task and how many can you manage?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Bangkok Ping pong ball spectacular classy enough?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"A Bangkok Ping pong ball spectacular classy enough? "

Oh yes, that should go down well. Can you aim the ball into someone's mouth for added effect?

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, my party piece is underwater BJs...not sure if there'd be any call for that

I think that can be arranged. What skills do you bring to this task and how many can you manage?

"

Silky smooth mouth and tongue and line 'em up, I'll stop when I get to the end...

Oh, I am planning on accessorising my hair with my outfit (silver) so it may leave a bit of a sheen in the jacuzzi/pool...I'd better make sure I double wash it beforehand

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, my party piece is underwater BJs...not sure if there'd be any call for that

I think that can be arranged. What skills do you bring to this task and how many can you manage?

Silky smooth mouth and tongue and line 'em up, I'll stop when I get to the end...

Oh, I am planning on accessorising my hair with my outfit (silver) so it may leave a bit of a sheen in the jacuzzi/pool...I'd better make sure I double wash it beforehand "

I'll find out what the water situation is and we can bill you as the Slippery Silver Sea Siren.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, my party piece is underwater BJs...not sure if there'd be any call for that

I think that can be arranged. What skills do you bring to this task and how many can you manage?

Silky smooth mouth and tongue and line 'em up, I'll stop when I get to the end...

Oh, I am planning on accessorising my hair with my outfit (silver) so it may leave a bit of a sheen in the jacuzzi/pool...I'd better make sure I double wash it beforehand

I'll find out what the water situation is and we can bill you as the Slippery Silver Sea Siren.

"

Ooh, I feel a name change coming on for June

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I can't sing for toffee

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I can't sing for toffee "

Could you do the dance of the seven veils? Extreme dart throwing? A session on how to accessorise leopard print?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Talentless, I'm afraid

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Talentless, I'm afraid "

Dance of the seven Trilbys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a long and massive tongue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talentless, I'm afraid "

I doubt it Tina, can you have a motor-boating kiosk pleaaaaase

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Talentless, I'm afraid

I doubt it Tina, can you have a motor-boating kiosk pleaaaaase "

Have you got private medical insurance or do you not like your nose?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I got a long and massive tongue.

"

Yes, but what's the act?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/05/14 18:36:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got a long and massive tongue.

Yes, but what's the act?

"

I can do a Noah's ark with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Need a DJ ?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Need a DJ ?"

I don't know. The club may already have one but if not then that could be very handy.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I got a long and massive tongue.

Yes, but what's the act?

I can do a Noah's ark with it.

"

You have animals two by two on your tongue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Talentless, I'm afraid

I doubt it Tina, can you have a motor-boating kiosk pleaaaaase

Have you got private medical insurance or do you not like your nose? "

User error!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talentless, I'm afraid

I doubt it Tina, can you have a motor-boating kiosk pleaaaaase

Have you got private medical insurance or do you not like your nose?

User error! "

Insurance and a stubby nose

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp "

What sort of clowning? One of these modern ones or the old fashioned sort?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got a long and massive tongue.

Yes, but what's the act?

I can do a Noah's ark with it.

You have animals two by two on your tongue? "

I was thinking more of saving one from the floods.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant come, will be to busy in the gym lol x.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I shan't be going but If anyone wants to play my rusty trombone, they are welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp

What sort of clowning? One of these modern ones or the old fashioned sort?"

I'm hoping it's the custard down the trousers type

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I cant come, will be to busy in the gym lol x."

All that time in the gym does stop some men from cumming.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I shan't be going but If anyone wants to play my rusty trombone, they are welcome "

I'd be worried about tetanus. All acts must be risk assessed.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I shan't be going but If anyone wants to play my rusty trombone, they are welcome

I'd be worried about tetanus. All acts must be risk assessed.

"

Oh

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I might tell a few jokes and try to be humorous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp

What sort of clowning? One of these modern ones or the old fashioned sort?"

Strictly old skool type, big red nose, permanent manic grin and oversized feet

Coco

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I might tell a few jokes and try to be humorous "

I thought you said try to be humoous. Now that is talent.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

What I'm really looking for is a bit of burlesque to live music. A comedy act (I know some of you are capable of that) and then a singalong to end.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp

What sort of clowning? One of these modern ones or the old fashioned sort?

Strictly old skool type, big red nose, permanent manic grin and oversized feet

Coco "

That's you before you dress up and start clowning so what's the act?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to audition as the resident Clown

Ive been certified

Gimp

What sort of clowning? One of these modern ones or the old fashioned sort?

Strictly old skool type, big red nose, permanent manic grin and oversized feet

Coco

That's you before you dress up and start clowning so what's the act?

"

Know what ? If i had feelings i could be upset but luckily i dont.

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's got to be some talent on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a fire eating act which involves extinguishing a couple of Swan Vesta matches. Vegas wasn't interested so might be my big chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or maybe this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM0HVeQMcqs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're asking swingers if they would like to perform on a stage??

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By *ub_from_kentMan
over a year ago

maidstone

I know some hypnosis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id ge tup n sing 'i touch myself'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're asking swingers if they would like to perform on a stage?? "

I'm not sure the club has a stage

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"id get up n sing and touch myself "

Kinky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"id get up n sing and touch myself

Kinky!"

lol id sing it to you ryan if you wore that costume in the avatar

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"id get up n sing and touch myself

Kinky!

lol id sing it to you ryan if you wore that costume in the avatar "

If I wore that we could both touch ourselves

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

So far I have signed Tina Titz and her lovely assistant Gemma as a comedy turn.

There's a potential DJ.

A clown.

Cute n Sassy singing while Ryan touches himself.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I shall be busy getting material

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I shall be busy getting material "

Observational comedy can be so cruel... and delicious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can spin plates on my nipples

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I can spin plates on my nipples "

Are you coming to the social? If not why not? Get your plate spinning nipples along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could throw a Steel Panther tribute band together. Their music would be perfect for a gathering of swingers, with songs like Bukakke Tears, Gloryhole and Weenie Ride.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I could throw a Steel Panther tribute band together. Their music would be perfect for a gathering of swingers, with songs like Bukakke Tears, Gloryhole and Weenie Ride."

Go for it. It sounds perfect.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Day 2 of auditions for the day time participants.

Come on, present us your talents.

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