FabSwingers.com forum: As a woman....

By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

A question for the lovely females of the site really...

As a woman here on Fab... How often do you make the first move messaging wise?

Do you ever message a guy first...or do you "alway" have them hit on you firstly... and find your more of a reply lady...or equally asod off or ignore one?

I just wonder... I've never had a message arrive with me first to whichI've then replied... I've always had to message the nice lady first... and if they are okay and cool about things then I'll get a polite reply...

(yeah I'm here waiting for messages now... lol)

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I very rarely go looking for people to send messages to... and so very rarely send the first message.

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By *ennylanebabeWoman
over a year ago

Runcorn

I think it's best to have a good profile, bit of info about yourself what your looking for. Don't PM the poor lady to death tho, as will come across as being pushy.

Just send a wink, then a little message about yourself to her, If she's interested she'll get back to you, Then take it from there.

personally tho, being single i wouldn't feel safe meeting a guy on my own, thats just my view tho. I perfer to meet couples. Plus i like having the best of both worlds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope i dont go sending the first message x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most women i mail don't bother to mail back i find it very rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't think there were many if any single fems on here that have ta send the first message lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I have if im looking for something specific

Im not shy and its been worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women i mail don't bother to mail back i find it very rude."

Les single profile can get over 100 emails a day as most single fems do

Do you really think its feasible to read and reply to everyone???

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By *ennylanebabeWoman
over a year ago

Runcorn

I have had to put single males on block sadly, as alot can't read and still sent the pm's, which added up over a few days.

I have sent messages to people in the past, can't expect everythink to come to you on a plate.

It's only a message at the end of the day, if there not interested then thats fine.

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

seems to me, its a good job everyone does not have the same attitude, otherwise you all be sitting there waiting for nothing to arrive. instead of complaining about the amount the amount messages you keep getting and do not have the time to respond to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a bloke it's difficult to answer, but Kate says that she would make the first move if she saw a profile that took her eye

Whenever we go to parties, she usually makes the first move, especially if the guys are being shy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women i mail don't bother to mail back i find it very rude."

Try replying to 50 plus messages a day and still look for what you want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question for the lovely females of the site really...

As a woman here on Fab... How often do you make the first move messaging wise?

Do you ever message a guy first...or do you "alway" have them hit on you firstly... and find your more of a reply lady...or equally asod off or ignore one?

(yeah I'm here waiting for messages now... lol)

I prefer to do the choosing not just take what's on offer but that is me. I think more than 50% of meets are people i mailed first.

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By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

um... its kind of making sense now then... I've sent so many nice, polite and introduce myself messages to so many... *yawn*

I get replies from some lovely women... but I think they respect the efforts invloved and stay in touch... and chat once in a while... but underlying...I'm not their type of guy? prehaps?

so once you've messaged every (almost?) local possible profile in your 2region"...andfound the score out about those that ignore you... politelytell you to get loss and those that will chat but your not really their type? lol

You then kind of hope that one day some lovely lady that you do float the baot of will make the first messge because...exhausted you'f missed her in all your messaging efforts....

sad hey? lol

I'm going to go into message rehab I think... give up on trying too bloody hard... I know when I'm not wanted... sniff... sniff... lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many women so little time xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Most women i mail don't bother to mail back i find it very rude."

Have a think about it from this point of view.... if you had 48 messages in your inbox and 45 of them were from munters who had nothing on common with you, they didn't meet your preferences and lived on the other side of the country or just had a one line profile which didn't tell you anything... but 3 of the messages were from people who were just your cup of tea... wouldn't you message the 3 you fancied first?

And when the 3 you fancy start messaging back and you have some very promising banter going on... do you stop messaging them so you can message the munters?... do you feck! you carry on getting to know the ones you like.

The next day you log on and you (I would hope) obviously carryong on chatting to the 3 you have now made significant ground with... but you also have another 20 messages - 2 from people you like and 18 from munters. Now you are having conversations with 5 folk you fancy and arranging meets with two of them.... and more messages are arriving the longer you are online.

The next day the cycle continues and the next day and the next day and the next day and you start having a backlog of munters you haven't replied to but you also have quite a few people who you are very interested in... come on... who would you focus your time on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"um... its kind of making sense now then... I've sent so many nice, polite and introduce myself messages to so many... *yawn*

I get replies from some lovely women... but I think they respect the efforts invloved and stay in touch... and chat once in a while... but underlying...I'm not their type of guy? prehaps?

You then kind of hope that one day some lovely lady that you do float the baot of will make the first messge because...exhausted you'f missed her in all your messaging efforts....

sad hey? lol

I'm going to go into message rehab I think... give up on trying too bloody hard... I know when I'm not wanted... sniff... sniff... lmao

Stop sniffing and get a PHOTO up to help your cause. Your one of 1000 silhouettes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the ladies who are indaunted with emails from guys....

Why not just block all single guys and go prospecting yourselves

Surely this would be a better use of your time. If you don't have the time to reply to them, and if most are only "one liners" that you just delete anyway, why not?

No one likes to be rejected, it's not good for our self esteem

Is this why a lot of ladies don't go prospecting?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Thars Gold in them thar hills!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"To the ladies who are indaunted with emails from guys....

Why not just block all single guys and go prospecting yourselves

Surely this would be a better use of your time. If you don't have the time to reply to them, and if most are only "one liners" that you just delete anyway, why not?

No one likes to be rejected, it's not good for our self esteem

Is this why a lot of ladies don't go prospecting?"

We don't go looking because I am a lazy mare and like people who want MFM to come to us

I agree with you though, block single men if they bother you too much and go looking for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thars Gold in them thar hills!!

And plenty of sex,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the ladies who are indaunted with emails from guys....

Why not just block all single guys and go prospecting yourselves

Surely this would be a better use of your time. If you don't have the time to reply to them, and if most are only "one liners" that you just delete anyway, why not?

No one likes to be rejected, it's not good for our self esteem

Is this why a lot of ladies don't go prospecting?"

The couples can be just as bad! (and the fake couples that are pretending single men)

We should have a block " Guys who have sent messages to more than 50 different people in 24 hrs" button!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"To the ladies who are indaunted with emails from guys....

Why not just block all single guys and go prospecting yourselves

Surely this would be a better use of your time. If you don't have the time to reply to them, and if most are only "one liners" that you just delete anyway, why not?

No one likes to be rejected, it's not good for our self esteem

Is this why a lot of ladies don't go prospecting?"

If you block all single guys... how do you then send them messages?

I know the reason I don't go looking on here is because I don't have to. I certainly don't have a problem with a fragile self esteem as when I go to a club , I do the hunting out and approaching.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Open your box for a minute and let them in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Open your box for a minute and let them in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block button only stops them making the first contact...you can still contact them

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

I do feel sorry for the single woman on sites like this, They do get an awful lot of mail, and with there being so many "single" males, that's always going to be the case.

The real issue is the fact that many of the "single" male's DO NOT read the profile, they go straight to the picture's if there are any, and then think with their dick's and not their brain, Then sit there wondering why they aint got a reply.

So rule of thumb, read profile, be sure that you are what the lady is looking for, then and only then contact her, be polite be humorous, but never pushy, if you don't get a reply then hey ho move on, leave it a few weeks try again, it might be that her inbox has been flooded with mail and she just can't cope with the demand, and it is a supply and demand lifestyle we are in here you know.

So at end of the day EFFORT equal's RESULTS , you only get out of this what you put in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Question..... If you block single males, can the ones on your friends list still contact you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't usually send first messages, and up to today i never have, but a profile caught my eye and i decided why not, so i sent them a message, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question..... If you block single males, can the ones on your friends list still contact you?

Yes xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never browsed or sent a first message!!

Simple fact I'm looking for a fantasy and a specific kind of playmate.

I've yet to see on a profile what I'm looking for: not many straight men put they like being dominated and humiliated by big, black Dommes with a strap on!!

When I'm looking my profile is comprehensive and clear, it states the type of man I'm looking for and how I like to play - there's no ambiguity in what I'm seeking, so it's easy for like minded men to contact me and explore their dark side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question..... If you block single males, can the ones on your friends list still contact you?

Yes xx"

Many thanks swingmates. Part two of the silly question, if we've messaged a single male, can he reply to that if single males are blocked, even though he may not be on our friends list?

Sorry for the thread drift!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't usually send first messages, and up to today i never have, but a profile caught my eye and i decided why not, so i sent them a message, lol"

Good on ya girl, go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question..... If you block single males, can the ones on your friends list still contact you?

Yes xx

Many thanks swingmates. Part two of the silly question, if we've messaged a single male, can he reply to that if single males are blocked, even though he may not be on our friends list?

Sorry for the thread drift!

If he repies through the mail you sent yes xx

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By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

I've still to receieve rather than send...

I'd love to be a postion of ignoring "Munters" is it? I'd need the 50 plus compounding messages aday to be in the realms of those that ignore messages

BING!!

I've got it... I've bloody well got it...

I'm goggling sex change operations... sorry guys... I'm off to become a saucy sexy woman... slight adams apple and a depth to my voice... once finished... but atleast I'll be on the otherside looking back... ignoring blokes... lol

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

"Question..... If you block single males, can the ones on your friends list still contact you?

Yes xx

Many thanks swingmates. Part two of the silly question, if we've messaged a single male, can he reply to that if single males are blocked, even though he may not be on our friends list?

Sorry for the thread drift!

if you read the site intro, and the blocking feature you will see that blocking only works if you have not got them on your friends list, if you have and you block them they can still contact you

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"The block button only stops them making the first contact...you can still contact them"

But why should I do that?

Guys might stop being little whingers about poor me no one replies you are all rude bastards.... but they'll only start crying about everyone blocking them!

I'm quite happy to recieve mail and reply to those who obvious read and take note of my preferences. If some twat thinks I am going to devote my spare time to sending him a message and priorities him when there's a hunk-a-spunk-hottie messaging me and making my crotch wet.... he needs to touch down on planet earth for a moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've still to receieve rather than send...

I'd love to be a postion of ignoring "Munters" is it? I'd need the 50 plus compounding messages aday to be in the realms of those that ignore messages

BING!!

I've got it... I've bloody well got it...

Your user name will have a whole new meaning though mate! Receiving as opposed to offering!

By the way, you should put up a photo of yourself, not a bad looking bloke, it's bound to help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Munters lol i know let single guy's only send 5 messages a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've still to receieve rather than send...

I'd love to be a postion of ignoring "Munters" is it? I'd need the 50 plus compounding messages aday to be in the realms of those that ignore messages

BING!!

I've got it... I've bloody well got it...

Put a pic on your profile and things might change.

Do you send face pics with a first message?

No offence, and this is purely tongue in cheek, but if like me, your not a good looking male, then your're not likely to be a goodlooking female

I know I look fooking minging in me frock

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By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

maybe they could solve the message overload women seem to get then... by automaticly removing their profile from general view for them... until they've reduced the inbox list to a minimum level and then they reappear again in the search listings... would save those ladies all those compounding munter worries then... lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

In the six and a half years ive had a pc i have only messaged one guy first as regards a meet. Ive messaged them for other reasons. The one i did message had told my friend he liked me thats why i did it. Yes it did pay pay off lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"maybe they could solve the message overload women seem to get then... by automaticly removing their profile from general view for them... until they've reduced the inbox list to a minimum level and then they reappear again in the search listings... would save those ladies all those compounding munter worries then... lol

It would be much easier if ALL people just accepted.... you have NO right to EXPECT a reply.

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By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

"Put a pic on your profile and things might change.

Do you send face pics with a first message?

No offence, and this is purely tongue in cheek, but if like me, your not a good looking male, then your're not likely to be a goodlooking female

I know I look fooking minging in me frock

I always send a face pic with any message I send and as I'm messgeing first anyway as it appears from this that women not messge first? lol Thats not really and issue... and I'm no handsome prince either... but you'd thing a female of some form or other might be interested one day? lol

I always offer tosupply the condoms anda paper bag if it helps them... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put a pic on your profile and things might change.

Do you send face pics with a first message?

No offence, and this is purely tongue in cheek, but if like me, your not a good looking male, then your're not likely to be a goodlooking female

I know I look fooking minging in me frock

I always offer tosupply the condoms anda paper bag if it helps them... lol

Tip.....don't offer to supply condoms in first message

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By *ickens Cider OP Man
over a year ago

taunton

"Tip.....don't offer to supply condoms in first message

I don't I was joking I only want todo them bare back... lol sorry thats another thread...

only joking ladies... I'm a respecctful chap... just normally say hi! a few compliment and a reson or two why your p

ie has interested me and a hope to be able to chat further one day... that sort of idea... never a one liner nor a cut and paste message...

I always will message "you" personally... in that context...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am sure one day it will pay off.........have patience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself along to some socials and/or parties.

Converse with the ladies there, and follow up with a mail.

That might start the ball rolling

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"A question for the lovely females of the site really...

As a woman here on Fab... How often do you make the first move messaging wise?

Do you ever message a guy first...or do you "alway" have them hit on you firstly... and find your more of a reply lady...or equally asod off or ignore one?

(yeah I'm here waiting for messages now... lol)

"
When i was meeting as a single femme, i used to message people, never had a problem with it, usually ended well......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be much easier if ALL people just accepted.... you have NO right to EXPECT a reply.

Can't help but agree with that, yeah a reply would be nice even if it's a no thanks, but you just have to learn to accept that some people may not have time to, or that they didn't want to. In either case, it would generally suggest that they weren't interested, so what have you lost apart from a few mins typing a message!

I don't ever expect to recieve an introductory mail from either females or couples, as other posters have pointed out, its a question of supply and demand and I'm not so arrogant to think I'm ever going to be everyone's idea of prime stock. But hey I deal with it, I send messages to people I might be compatible with, I get out and meet people and I just try to be me. And you know what, sometimes I find a gem, wether its a sexual meet, a social meet or just someone to mail and have a laugh with. Suddenly then, it all seems marvelously worth the effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we have been known to make the 1st move contact wise, some contact us back some dont thats life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as you know, i do occasionally message guys in reality ive been so busy answering messages from guys and couples that i have little time to message someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often make the first contact - why waste your membership lol but then again i am a jock!! and no shrinking violet. Lots of men like the fact that you do make the first move and i feel it gives me the edge when and if we do meet. As 9 times out of 10 they will comment that they liked it and then i take that control into the bedroom and it also acts as a safety barrier as i then call the shots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often make the first contact - why waste your membership lol but then again i am a jock!! and no shrinking violet. Lots of men like the fact that you do make the first move and i feel it gives me the edge when and if we do meet. As 9 times out of 10 they will comment that they liked it and then i take that control into the bedroom and it also acts as a safety barrier as i then call the shots."

You've just highlighted the very trait that makes you stand out in room of other gorgeous ladies.

I've never met anyone on the scene with as much confidence as you have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ha ha the vodka helps lol

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

To the first question I often send a wink to any guy that takes my fancy....on the second that arose from the thread about women not replying to messages....

So if a woman like myself puts 'No interest in those that are over the age of 40'.....'Sorry but no interest in those that live above an 80 mile radius of South Devon'.....'Not meeting smokers anymore'

Should I then be expected to reply to a guy who lives in Edinburgh or Liverpool, who is 55 years of age and smokes?

The simple truth is that up to 75% of the messages I get are from guys who simply haven't read the text in my profile or have decided to ignore my preferences?

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