FabSwingers.com forum: Is it acceptable to teach a woman the off side rule by......

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

shoving your cock up her bum?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that works in what way?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a red card from some women.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

spit roast concept face level with balls....if not ....flag immediatly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And that works in what way?"

Ahh right the punani is the last man and if you are past the punani you are off side. Theory behind it is women often scream and blow the whistle saying thats out of bounds or off side I was wondering if it was an analogy female kind would understand.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

Thats Bristol though its err without being rude not the epicentre of football for guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

Thats Bristol though its err without being rude not the epicentre of football for guys.

I know. I grew up loving football but was constantly told I liked a ball that was the wrong shape!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

Thats Bristol though its err without being rude not the epicentre of football for guys.

I know. I grew up loving football but was constantly told I liked a ball that was the wrong shape!"

Square ones are the devil to kick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know a girls a keeper, when she likes football and understands the offside rule lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know a girls a keeper, when she likes football and understands the offside rule lol

And swallows with a smile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

"And that works in what way?"
the striker shooting while the 2 defenders sit behind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?"

Fair play, you know your onions when it comes to football haha and yeah, get that pump out... One up the bum, no harm done lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?

Fair play, you know your onions when it comes to football haha and yeah, get that pump out... One up the bum, no harm done lol "

Yes a gentleman friend calls me 'the perfect bloke'

He wants to sit on a sofa with me as I swear at the inane punditry on motd and then when the throbbing vein has subsided in my temple do unspeakable things to me.

I'm not even making it up, he thinks it's very horny. During snooker and golf he has been overwhelmed with lust because of my interest in the sports.

Weird huh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?"

That is classed as rimming.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?

Fair play, you know your onions when it comes to football haha and yeah, get that pump out... One up the bum, no harm done lol

Yes a gentleman friend calls me 'the perfect bloke'

He wants to sit on a sofa with me as I swear at the inane punditry on motd and then when the throbbing vein has subsided in my temple do unspeakable things to me.

I'm not even making it up, he thinks it's very horny. During snooker and golf he has been overwhelmed with lust because of my interest in the sports.

Weird huh?"

Sounds pretty perfect to me! I've only ever had one girlfriend who has liked football

who do you support then? Ps golf is boring, but snooker and formula 1 are ace! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

Thats Bristol though its err without being rude not the epicentre of football for guys.

I know. I grew up loving football but was constantly told I liked a ball that was the wrong shape!"

Nothing wrong with that!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if I was from Walsall it would be the Saddlers but I'm from Salford so it's Man U.

I don't think golf is dull but I get why people do.The Masters, Open and especially Ryder Cup are fabulous to watch.

GP I do like but Barcelona is so dull I turned off after 9 laps and put it back on at the end.

Thought the snooker world championship was the best in years, great to see a great tactician win rather than the dull break-building that's gone on for years.

God im boring.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?

That is classed as rimming.

Lol, I learn new shit every day!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if I was from Walsall it would be the Saddlers but I'm from Salford so it's Man U.

I don't think golf is dull but I get why people do.The Masters, Open and especially Ryder Cup are fabulous to watch.

GP I do like but Barcelona is so dull I turned off after 9 laps and put it back on at the end.

Thought the snooker world championship was the best in years, great to see a great tactician win rather than the dull break-building that's gone on for years.

God im boring."

I'm with you on that call, formula one isn't as good as it used to be in the 90s, but I still like it. Ps Man U? I've got family from Salford who supported Man U wen they were shit back in the 70s, so they're more than happy to still support them now they're shit again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Offside rule is not difficult to understand, grasped that within one match during the world cup and having a livelong footy fan explain it to me, even after his wife of many years and also a footy supporter was still clueless!

Rugby is my game of choice to watch even though the rules have changed many times since I started supporting the game.

Grand Prix I followed around Europe with my ex and stood bored to tears watching the noisy cars go round and round ...... only reason I liked live Grand Prix was Marlboro sponsored them at that time and threw free fags and lighters to the watching crowds!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if it transpires she has a clearer understanding of the off-side rule and what is laughing not considered interfering with play or active play as it's applied by some refs?

Does she get to counter by violating your pooh chute with a football pump?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if I was from Walsall it would be the Saddlers but I'm from Salford so it's Man U.

I don't think golf is dull but I get why people do.The Masters, Open and especially Ryder Cup are fabulous to watch.

GP I do like but Barcelona is so dull I turned off after 9 laps and put it back on at the end.

Thought the snooker world championship was the best in years, great to see a great tactician win rather than the dull break-building that's gone on for years.

God im boring.

I understand, first match 1979 aged 5, if it's in your veins doesn't matter how shit they get.

Who's your team?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well if I was from Walsall it would be the Saddlers but I'm from Salford so it's Man U.

I don't think golf is dull but I get why people do.The Masters, Open and especially Ryder Cup are fabulous to watch.

GP I do like but Barcelona is so dull I turned off after 9 laps and put it back on at the end.

Thought the snooker world championship was the best in years, great to see a great tactician win rather than the dull break-building that's gone on for years.

God im boring.

I understand, first match 1979 aged 5, if it's in your veins doesn't matter how shit they get.

Who's your team?"

Well I have joint alliances: aston villa are my local team, but afc wimbledon are my team through back in the day influence from family, who lived in sw ldn.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

jezzzuz, doesn't pepper sting yer ass?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

"I have had to explain it to every single boyfriend I have ever had. I once had to use condiments to do so. So ner.

the condiments is the FIFA/FA approved method of teaching the offside rule

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know a girls a keeper, when she likes football and understands the offside rule lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread