FabSwingers.com forum: 15 rules women folk must learn during the world cup

By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

1) If i catch you saying Cristiano Ronaldo is hot, you will automaticaly get a smack on the chin.

2) During the World Cup the television is mine. At all times without any exceptions. Eastenders, Hollyoaks and Corrie can all get to Fuck. Go keep the bed warm for me.

3) I will most likely have a bet on. So if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, Don't dare say:

It's only a game

Get over it

They will win next time.

This will only result in a break up or a divorce.

4) Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. Except from in between matches. If i fall asleep and miss a match.. this will lead to again a divorce or a break up.

5) The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them already. I want to see them again.

6) Make sure you are taking note.

7) Tell your friends NOT to have any parties or gatherings that will require my attendance.

a) I will cuss at you.

b) You will sleep on the sofa.

c) I just will not go

8) However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

9) The World Cup is not a cheesy excuse for us to spend time together. You are welcome to watch one game with me, only one game and you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials

10) Men are ammune to the words "Thank god the world cup is only every 4 years"

After The World Cup comes the:

Champions league

Euro 2012 qualifying

and all the domestic leagues.

11) During The World Cup you can have the remote between 12am and 6am.

12) The Referee is always a wanker.

13) If you here me scream your name be ready to:

Grab me a drink.

Grab me a snack.

Get me new batteries for the remote.

You will not be needed for anything else.

14) During the game I will not be able to hear or see you.

Your job is to make sure there is some beer in the fridge.

15) Don't ask what the offside rule is. This will result in anther smack on the chin and also another for not being in the room keeping the bed warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rule 11 needs changing, alot of late games that will run beyond midnight. So maybe 3am til 6am ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only rule in my house is............

ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL ALLOWED

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By *essysteveCouple
over a year ago

ALICANTE AREA SPAIN

this was cut and pasted from 2010 - check the timings as to when she can have the remote and also the forth coming 2012 Euros ...............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch it with beer

Her

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Rules? Just because there's some sort of footbollocks competition on?

I don't fucking think so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My one rule during the World Cup is if you break something you clean up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing about footy on tv is the off button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a World Cup ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done it should be banned

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Only rule in my house is............

ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL ALLOWED

This. Plus nobody, NOBODY, makes rules for me in my home. Especially if they involve fetching drinks and snacks on demand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overpaid nancy boys who fall over at slightest contact as if shot i think tom daly must teach them as they all dive so well.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"What's a World Cup ?

Who cares?

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By *mour manchesterCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Well ladies, we are planning on having a football widows event during the England matches where Amour will be a football free zone!

There will be a buffet & a few carefully chosen gentleman who put pleasing ladies above football, hopefully a stripper or two also.

Keep an eye on out updates

Amour xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

you should play 45mins each way with a break for drinks .. in the event of drawers extra time should be allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a World Cup ?

Who cares?"
i was just worried in case I didn't have enough biscuits to go on the saucer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never invite friends around for a BBQ while the match is on..as the chef you will miss most of the game while cooking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmfsl love the rules carnt wait 4 it all to kick off

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

Rule 10, Not this man... Football is the most over hyped boring game I can think of.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule 10, Not this man... Football is the most over hyped boring game I can think of. "

total agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a lot of smacks on the chin in the rules

Id like to add a few kicks in the bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite topic in a forum well done and well written op love it lol.

Oh and just for the record ladies sex is on the menu but please understand my head will be tilted 45 degrees to watch the match. Ladies just bounce on it and think of ENGLAND it's a win win situation. We kicked Peru arse bwhahahahahaha come on England can't wait for the battle to commence

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

Rule 1 brazil going to WIN haha

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

Tks god my English hubby don't like footie haha TV all for me

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it)."
if there is an attacking penis (ap) closer to the goal than a defending penis (dp) when the ball is passed forward to the ap . then the pass is considered offside .. so its time for dp .... to take a free kick .. if a dispute cant be settled either way the ref can choose a free bal (fb) if an injury stops play the ref can add extra time ..(mmf) minutes more football

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By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington

lmfao at the rules...they made my day but hey ladies don't worry we wont get past quarter finals like most other times! grrrrrrrrrrr lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea what this thread is even about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

We wont be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

We wont be

Good for you feel free to go and comment on other things you have no interest in.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

ABE!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub

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By *eedelightsWoman
over a year ago

London

Anyone for tennis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck these rules. There are 3 blokes living in my house yet I'm the only person there who actually likes football (and yes, I do know and can explain the offside rule; you don't need a penis to be able to understand it).if there is an attacking penis (ap) closer to the goal than a defending penis (dp) when the ball is passed forward to the ap . then the pass is considered offside .. so its time for dp .... to take a free kick .. if a dispute cant be settled either way the ref can choose a free bal (fb) if an injury stops play the ref can add extra time ..(mmf) minutes more football"

Perfect explanation all us ladies will get it now

Please note I already understood it as I am amazing even though I don't like football

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only football. I'll be giving it a miss tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing about having the fridge well stocked with beer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah very funny OP

I like football, know the offside rule & think Ronaldo looks way to girlie to be hot...!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Football?! Just a load of men running around some grass , chasing a lump of leather... And people pay to watch, oh and ding silly songs!

( gonna get my tin man attire on right now! Where's Dorothy?! Lmfao)

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Hopefully England won't last long then the telly can get back to normal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub

I should think most will stay open,I no the one im going to is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahh , the joys of being single

Also , any man wanting to come into my life and make rules gets disqualified, and leaves holding a very sore pair of balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot's a world cup...???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only rule in my house is............

ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL ALLOWED

A woman after my own heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

We wont be

Good for you feel free to go and comment on other things you have no interest in.

I can comment on what i like.........or dont like

so ner ner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait for it should be a great summer.

Wish people would stop moaning about it,if you don't like it then don't watch it.

not liking the time difference though. Can't watch it in the pub

Pubs have an extension for the late games

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only rule in my house is............

ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL ALLOWED

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"......

9) ... you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials

Gotta clarify this rule.... surely you mean we are NOT allowed to talk over the half-time game analysis? Blow jobs to be performed during the commercial breaks ONLY, and if we can't finish you off in 4 mins, then we have to come back at the next commercial break and try again

Also gotta clarify olovingman's definition of the offside rule.... surely (when the ball is played forward) there should be TWO dps (defending penises) between the ap (attacking penis) and the goal? One of the dps MAY be the dpg (defending penis goalkeeper) but does not necessarily have to be?

Now, who wants a beer and pizza delivered naked to my sofa?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"......

9) ... you must keep silent during it. except from half time and during commercials

Now, who wants a beer and pizza delivered naked to my sofa?"

you!

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By *issLissCouple
over a year ago

south east

And this is why I'm single

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Rules? Just because there's some sort of footbollocks competition on?

I don't fucking think so.

The joys of living alone and being in charge are wonderful.

Footbollocks.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Saw Stephen Hawking on the news the other night he worked out a formula for the world cup and did some very complicated mathematics and science studies thingymabobs and concluded England would reach the quarter final. He said Brazil would be the winners of the world cup and a top tip from professor Stephen Hawking if you fancy a bet on England, he said Daniel Sturridge would be our top scorer.

It does beg the question though, do you really need an IQ of 20 gazillion to work out what he told us?

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