FabSwingers.com forum: Curtain Pole........

By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Why not ? I can ask !

I have a sloping roof. I think the technical term is angled wall.

It's been quite a bastard trying to think how to put up a curtain pole.

No it can't be hung from the ceiling.

No I can't put up a baton.

There's not one nanomillimetre of wall ....

You solve it ... I can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of window? Is that angled too?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Can you not do it in the window recess?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be some inner window lintel, no? Blinds from there?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What kind of window? Is that angled too?"

No.

It's a rectangular bay that meets a sloped roof.

It has angles of 90 degrees but the panes go horizontal and vertical not slanty.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can you not do it in the window recess?"

No pud xx I have blackout blinds there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get an extending shower curtain pole

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"There has to be some inner window lintel, no? Blinds from there? "

Yes longcock. Blinds are in there.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?"

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm finding it hard to visualise. Can you upload a photo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scrap that, draw as a picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually no, I'd prefer an oil painting.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Do you really need curtains if you have blinds? I have same kind of Window but as mine are small I used voils put up with net curtain wire

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Do you really need curtains if you have blinds? I have same kind of Window but as mine are small I used voils put up with net curtain wire "

No not really. I have blackout blinds but my daughter is spooked out with the 'no curtain policy' here. Bless......she's only 37

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on."

idiot

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Two hunks dressed in speedos holding the curtains up for you

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet. "

Do you mean where the BLINDS are? Where I said it cannot go ? There do you mean ?

Pelmet .....sniggerrrrrrrr...... you sound like my dad .... Who knocked the pelmet down !!

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Two hunks dressed in speedos holding the curtains up for you

So that's ...... that's ..... I'm the hunkiest bloke I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on.

idiot "

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on.

idiot

I'd need brackets the length of libertines cock !

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on.

idiot

I'd need brackets the length of libertines cock !"

Shower poles don't have brackets granny. Doh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paint fake curtains on the glass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd need brackets the length of libertines cock !"

Surely you can't buy brackets that small? Doll house?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Move house.

Seems the only answer.

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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago

wrexham

Nail the curtains straight on to the window

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get an extending shower curtain pole

and ( take care with answer please ) Stick it where ?

Errrrr in front of the blinds... I can't possibly think without seeing it

You are possibly on the cusp of a fantastic breakthrough ! You fucking genius ...... ! I'm going to check - hold on.

idiot

I'd need brackets the length of libertines cock !

Shower poles don't have brackets granny. Doh...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure I quite get the complete picture, but if you put the curtain pole on the angled bit just above the window, the curtains will still hang straight down.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Nail the curtains straight on to the window

Sorted !

I AM going to do this ... so cheap.

Saves on all that swishing too ....

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?""

Nah ....she thinks the neighbours are peeking at her bod .....

She's here about three times a year but thinks the room just isn't up to par sans curtains.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"Do you really need curtains if you have blinds? I have same kind of Window but as mine are small I used voils put up with net curtain wire

No not really. I have blackout blinds but my daughter is spooked out with the 'no curtain policy' here. Bless......she's only 37"

Is that 37 months lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why not ? I can ask !

I have a sloping roof. I think the technical term is angled wall.

It's been quite a bastard trying to think how to put up a curtain pole.

No it can't be hung from the ceiling.

No I can't put up a baton.

There's not one nanomillimetre of wall ....

You solve it ... I can't."

It would have been far easier putting 'blinds for sloping windows' into google as there are so many viable alternatives there.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?""

You total brain box ! I'm going to check this out ..... Oh you just hold on there a bit ....... tadaaaaaaaaaa Im going for an internet search and then a refreshing look at the bay ...... windown not morecambe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about getting one of those folding screens that you can put in front of the window. Of course that depends on how high the window is obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not really. I have blackout blinds but my daughter is spooked out with the 'no curtain policy' here. Bless......she's only 37"

Is she single?

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Nah ....she thinks the neighbours are peeking at her bod .....

She's here about three times a year but thinks the room just isn't up to par sans curtains. "

Make her sleep in a tent I the garden then theu can really peek at her.

Cheeky moo putting you through this for 3 nights a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Only good thing about the _iew of Morecambe bay is that it means you have your back to morecambe and can't see the town any more

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Why not ? I can ask !

I have a sloping roof. I think the technical term is angled wall.

It's been quite a bastard trying to think how to put up a curtain pole.

No it can't be hung from the ceiling.

No I can't put up a baton.

There's not one nanomillimetre of wall ....

You solve it ... I can't.

It would have been far easier putting 'blinds for sloping windows' into google as there are so many viable alternatives there. "

Maybe I would If I was after blinds but thanks for trying x

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Give her a blindfold, tell her to wear it at all times when in that room, if she cant see them, they cant see her! Lol, well it worked for Douglas Adams!

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Only good thing about the _iew of Morecambe bay is that it means you have your back to morecambe and can't see the town any more

I thought it was beautiful last year. Wild but beautiful. I was a bit out of town looking over a wall.

I'd gone for potted shrimps... couldn't find the sodding high street or anywhere to park.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Give her a blindfold, tell her to wear it at all times when in that room, if she cant see them, they cant see her! Lol, well it worked for Douglas Adams!

At last ....sensible people are in !

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Erm... well, it was actually the ravenous bugblatter beast of Trall 5 or summat like that... not Dougy boy himself!

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"Why not ? I can ask !

I have a sloping roof. I think the technical term is angled wall.

It's been quite a bastard trying to think how to put up a curtain pole.

No it can't be hung from the ceiling.

No I can't put up a baton.

There's not one nanomillimetre of wall ....

You solve it ... I can't.

It would have been far easier putting 'blinds for sloping windows' into google as there are so many viable alternatives there. "

She never said the windows sloped just the walls

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Give her a blindfold, tell her to wear it at all times when in that room, if she cant see them, they cant see her! Lol, well it worked for Douglas Adams!

At last ....sensible people are in ! "

Omg... made my day.... look, she called me sensible.... my mum will be so happy!

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are you? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Nah ....she thinks the neighbours are peeking at her bod .....

She's here about three times a year but thinks the room just isn't up to par sans curtains.

Make her sleep in a tent I the garden then theu can really peek at her.

Cheeky moo putting you through this for 3 nights a year."

I can't. She might be a bossy, opinionated, self righteous , hardworking snotty nosed pain in the arse ....... but she's mine n I love her. Sometimes.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Give her a blindfold, tell her to wear it at all times when in that room, if she cant see them, they cant see her! Lol, well it worked for Douglas Adams!

At last ....sensible people are in !

Omg... made my day.... look, she called me sensible.... my mum will be so happy!

I thought it WAS your mum !

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No not really. I have blackout blinds but my daughter is spooked out with the 'no curtain policy' here. Bless......she's only 37

Is she single?

Pervert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't. She might be a bossy, opinionated, self righteous , hardworking snotty nosed pain in the arse"

Scrap my question then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are youo? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Only good thing about the _iew of Morecambe bay is that it means you have your back to morecambe and can't see the town any more

I thought it was beautiful last year. Wild but beautiful. I was a bit out of town looking over a wall.

I'd gone for potted shrimps... couldn't find the sodding high street or anywhere to park."

It's not bad on a nice day actually, good _iew over the sands to the lakes.....I still like it mainly because I can't see the town any more though....its dying on its backside is Morecambe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about net curtain wire on hooks and use runner hooks to open and close curtains.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The curtains have metal holes in them.

Like .... built in hooks.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about using curtain wires? If the curtains are lightweight you can use the ones you get for hanging nets which you will just need to screw a ring into the wall/frame for.

I believe there is a sturdier version which uses a steel cable but I'm not sure about those fixings.

Otherwise give said daughter a thick ear accompanied by "what are youo? 12 and scared of the shadows behind the furniture?"

Only good thing about the _iew of Morecambe bay is that it means you have your back to morecambe and can't see the town any more

I thought it was beautiful last year. Wild but beautiful. I was a bit out of town looking over a wall.

I'd gone for potted shrimps... couldn't find the sodding high street or anywhere to park.

It's not bad on a nice day actually, good _iew over the sands to the lakes.....I still like it mainly because I can't see the town any more though....its dying on its backside is Morecambe

Same goes for most high streets.. No one shops anymore.

What will take it's place ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The curtains have metal holes in them.

Like .... built in hooks."

so large holes but will net wire not thread through. You then don't have to use curtains jus have as dummy ones to dress windows particularly if you've already got blinds at the windows. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why doesn't she just use the blind?

I don't get it.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Yes the wire will go through the holes.

Let's recap now .........

I have no wall to attach the curtains to.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I have no wall

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Everyone ....... NO WALL

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

Skyhooks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because women are just odd about somethings, and such things must conform to certain standards.

Windows must have curtains.

I must shut up and do as i am told.

Etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes the wire will go through the holes.

Let's recap now .........

I have no wall to attach the curtains to."

you can get stick on hooks for the window frames. That's what I had to do with my conservatory curtains.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Gaffer tape. Either to stick a curtain up or tape over daughter's mouth next time she moans!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nice bit of material that fits over the window with a suction cup in each corner? We made something similar for a flat I lived in.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

| window to the left NO WALL

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Gaffer tape. Either to stick a curtain up or tape over daughter's mouth next time she moans!"

Mouth would use less tape... hmmmmmmmm not a bad idea

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Because women are just odd about somethings, and such things must conform to certain standards.

Windows must have curtains.

I must shut up and do as i am told.

Etc etc"

Oh dear. Oh very very dear.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Not sure I quite get the complete picture, but if you put the curtain pole on the angled bit just above the window, the curtains will still hang straight down."

Imagine you are in the room looking directly at the window.

Coming down in front of you is a sloping roof. The roof comes to the window FRAME.

The sides are okay. There is wall there.

You cannot attach anything to the slopey roofy bit.

I want my mum.

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

"Not sure I quite get the complete picture, but if you put the curtain pole on the angled bit just above the window, the curtains will still hang straight down.

Imagine you are in the room looking directly at the window.

Coming down in front of you is a sloping roof. The roof comes to the window FRAME.

The sides are okay. There is wall there.

You cannot attach anything to the slopey roofy bit.

I want my mum. "

So you have got a wall?

You also have a sloping roof inside your room?

Weird.................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No wall. Wall.

I give up with you.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Not sure I quite get the complete picture, but if you put the curtain pole on the angled bit just above the window, the curtains will still hang straight down.

Imagine you are in the room looking directly at the window.

Coming down in front of you is a sloping roof. The roof comes to the window FRAME.

The sides are okay. There is wall there.

You cannot attach anything to the slopey roofy bit.

I want my mum.

So you have got a wall?

You also have a sloping roof inside your room?

Weird.................

No. There is no wall along the longest window.

It is not weird that the roof comes over the window.....

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

If there is no wall, what is holding the ceiling up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My vision is getting odder. I now have a headache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg this thread has realy brightened up my day

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"If there is no wall, what is holding the ceiling up?"

The Fooking Window Frame .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

75 replies on a thread about a curtain pole (76 now) ... that says a great deal about fab and perhaps more so Mondays

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Ok I get the Window type as I have them in my loft flat. The curtains I'm thinking you have already and are the ones with large metel eyes where the pole will go through.

If this is right then you have the wrong type of curtain for the window. I'm guessing the best solution will be, now this is going to sound strange, velcro.

You have the hooked side stuck to the top of the window frame and stitch the furry side to the curtains.

Easy to hang and when she is not there easy to take down

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Why doesn't she just use the blind?

I don't get it. "

Slatty ones.... she thinks people can see her titty fah lahs

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"75 replies on a thread about a curtain pole (76 now) ... that says a great deal about fab and perhaps more so Mondays

Yeah ... but the pole might need christening .. if we eventually get one.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Ok I get the Window type as I have them in my loft flat. The curtains I'm thinking you have already and are the ones with large metel eyes where the pole will go through.

If this is right then you have the wrong type of curtain for the window. I'm guessing the best solution will be, now this is going to sound strange, velcro.

You have the hooked side stuck to the top of the window frame and stitch the furry side to the curtains.

Easy to hang and when she is not there easy to take down"

In ........ fucking ....... credible !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg. This is why god invented husbands and boyfriend's.

So they can do it, meaning they will take over, give it a good look at, go to b&q walk round there for two hrs,end up buying completely wrong thing then say they not got enough time to do it today will do next weekend.

Next weekend he does it, takes all day many holes and arguments later curtains are up and then fall down straight away.

End up paying for a tradesmen like me to come and do it

Job done in 30mins, two cups of tea and some flirty banter.

Sorted.

That's how to put up a curtain pole.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How do they swish ?

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

The genius inside does slip out from time to time.

But Sshhhhh don't tell anyone

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The genius inside does slip out from time to time.

But Sshhhhh don't tell anyone "

How do they swishhhhhhhhh ?

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"How do they swish ?

Same way as they would normally.

And it doesn't blow off the velcro

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Omg. This is why god invented husbands and boyfriend's.

Next weekend he does it, takes all day many holes and arguments later curtains are up and then fall down straight away.

End up paying for a tradesmen like me to come and do it

Job done in 30mins, two cups of tea and some flirty banter.

Sorted.

That's how to put up a curtain pole. "

I REFUSE to prostitute myself ..... Oh alright maybe I would but I need my dishwasher plumbing in and a plumber isn't cheap ..... AND my car cost me more than a fucking season ticket to get a few poncey things done to it last week.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Can I plumb my table top dishwasher into the tap ?

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"How do they swish ?

Same way as they would normally.

And it doesn't blow off the velcro"

Velcro only at the top not all the way around. Plus tie backs can hold them open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

Just pucker the lips a little and say shhhhhheeeeerrrrwwwwwiiiisssshhhhhhh

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"No "

Okay Okay don't go on about it !

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Just pucker the lips a little and say shhhhhheeeeerrrrwwwwwiiiisssshhhhhhh

And tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a long hard think about it, I reckon you should just get a new daughter.

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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago

wrexham

"Why doesn't she just use the blind?

I don't get it.

Slatty ones.... she thinks people can see her titty fah lahs"

She's right, we can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"75 replies on a thread about a curtain pole (76 now) ... that says a great deal about fab and perhaps more so Mondays

Curtains and the hanging of is a serious subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should pull yourself together

Badoomching.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Is there wall between the windows?

That is, do the window frames in the bay go right into the corners? Are the frames wood, metal, uPVC?

Failing that...

Get the daughter therapy.

Put privacy film on the glass of the window.

Get a screen that folds away but can stand in front of the window when she wants to be sure of privacy.

Make her stay in the cupboard under the stairs. No window = no prying.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Jeez I have told you how to do it near the start of the thread.

Surrounded by stoopids

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I have an idea but I need to know if the curtain support needs to run right around the bay with only support at two ends, or if it can be supported in between.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Just get a load of fab blokes around, have them wipe their cocks on the curtains after a shag, and theyll stick and hold up on anything, slanted windows, walls, arses, anything. Ok, no swish, but fond memories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Upon further inspection, i have decided the pole is obsolete.

What we need is a coat hook. Forget the curtains, hang me up in there by my underpants, nobody will ever want to go in there again and we can all relax and forget about curtain poles.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Book her into the Premier....problem gone

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Is there wall between the windows?

That is, do the window frames in the bay go right into the corners? Are the frames wood, metal, uPVC?

Failing that...

Get the daughter therapy.

Put privacy film on the glass of the window.

Get a screen that folds away but can stand in front of the window when she wants to be sure of privacy.

Make her stay in the cupboard under the stairs. No window = no prying.

....... the frames are wood.......real wood.......not just any old wood, S and M wood ....

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Jeez I have told you how to do it near the start of the thread.

Surrounded by stoopids

What part of no ceiling didn't you understand ?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Book her into the Premier....problem gone

Not a bad idea !

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Jeez I have told you how to do it near the start of the thread.

Surrounded by stoopids

What part of no ceiling didn't you understand ?"

Below the lintel not ceiling.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Get rid of the blackout blind and put some curtains up.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

if you have curtains in your room,

swap rooms for the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick on opaque film for the glass.

Comes on a roll.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

shower curtain rail .. the end sockets screwed straight onto the frame the rail can be cut at any length so the curtains can project back into the room any amount you like .. and they can be drawn and swished back as far as you like you just gotta make sure you get two ninety degree bends in the pack tadaah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick it on the outside.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Make your daughter a big Victorian style changing tent dress thingy out of curtain material.

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By *abmamsCouple
over a year ago

near fleet, hants

Take the window out block the fucker up and paint curtains on the new wall with a nice _iew outside and on the outside paint a nice _iew of a naked woman inside, daughter happy Pervey neighbours happy too , win win all round and one less window to clean simples....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get rid of the blackout blind and put some curtains up.

Get some curtains Granny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go and stay at her place xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watched this thread with a wry smile. Wondering did granny sort her pole out?

or is she still swinging from the non existent, wall, ceiling slopley roof thingy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

possibly no rush - depends when said child is due a return visit

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Get rid of the blackout blind and put some curtains up.

Get some curtains Granny.

i've had the curtains for about three years

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Take the window out block the fucker up and paint curtains on the new wall with a nice _iew outside and on the outside paint a nice _iew of a naked woman inside, daughter happy Pervey neighbours happy too , win win all round and one less window to clean simples....

I like this answer......

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Make your daughter a big Victorian style changing tent dress thingy out of curtain material.

"
#

I also likes this answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer is easy..... Move house lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the curtain rail at the bottom of the window, then add LOTS of starch to the curtains..simples

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woodern shutters - like in pre war . I've done this on a few jobs now , and does make a nice feature in the room

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

So many kind suggestions ........

I want to put the curtains I HAVE on a curtain pole I HAVEN'T

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/05/14 17:08:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What you have there Granny is a Former window, where the vertical sides meet a ceiling pitch.

If you want to use a curtain rail/ pole, you will need two...

Fix one pole to the ceiling, either side and just above the top of the sloped opening, and the other at the change of direction ceiling/wall.

Hang the curtains from the top pole, drape them over the lower.

Assuming a standard 4' opening, you will need 6' poles, fixed at the ends, to allow you to fully open the curtains.

I would also guess that the length of the curtain would probably be of the order of at least 96" ( to floor )which means the bulk of the curtain will be up the slope. To stop the curtains falling back into the room, I would suggest weighting the hem...

Good luck...

"Dormer window"...... Grrrrr...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shutters.....

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

Will this curtain pole be sorted this weekend?

Hmmmmmmmmm

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Sod the task force... Granny, send ya daughter out to the Fens...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles."

If there's too many hefty Poles in there, we won't have room for the rest of us...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles.

If there's too many hefty Poles in there, we won't have room for the rest of us...

Someone could sit on my knee.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles."

OK, but I need to go home first and get see some clothes suitable for poles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Sod the task force... Granny, send ya daughter out to the Fens...

oi sod off its my turn to come to the fens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles."

What aboit the fakes and timewasters? Just asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's beginning to sound like a task force is needed NW to solve this problem.

Let's get a minibus of Fabsters round there this weekend. Lots of people playing with hefty poles.

OK, but I need to go home first and get see some clothes suitable for poles."

I could lend yer a mankini...

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

All you need is,

1/cornflake box(empty)

1/plastic tube thingy,from your washing up liquid (empty)

1/cardboard middle thingy from the toilet paper

1/tube of craft glue

Then Make up some paper mashy stuff (enough to fill a small saucepan should suffice)

Then give john noakes a call,

And hey presto!!!

your curtain hanging dilemma will be over.

You know of he can do anything with that stuff.

(

)(

)

Ps if john noakes is no longer with us,

Try Valerie Singleton,

I definitely would have.

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

"What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet. "

My thoughts too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a pole you can use, be crap for putting curtains on tho

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Will this curtain pole be sorted this weekend?

Hmmmmmmmmm

No. I'm socialising all Weekend.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have a pole you can use, be crap for putting curtains on tho

Is it extendable ?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet.

My thoughts too

Christ almighty. I might have to draw a picture.

There is no window recess....it's full of fucking window blind....

Thank you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a pole you can use, be crap for putting curtains on tho

Is it extendable ?"

it grows when played with gwanny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a pole you can use, be crap for putting curtains on tho

Is it extendable ?"

Very, usually extends and contract several times throughout the night xxx

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By *0hnnyBrav0Man
over a year ago

Great Wyrley

"What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet.

My thoughts too

Christ almighty. I might have to draw a picture.

There is no window recess....it's full of fucking window blind....

Thank you xxx "

whats the window blind fixed to?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"What about mounting it along the front and across the window recess, just below the ceilings lowest point. Then hide the gap with a pelmet.

My thoughts too

Christ almighty. I might have to draw a picture.

There is no window recess....it's full of fucking window blind....

Thank you xxx

whats the window blind fixed to?"

As I understand it - probably wrong - the blind is fixed inside the window recess, either to the top of the recess or to the window frame.

The curtains need to go over the recess, since the recess is full of blind, but the window recess extends right up to the ceiling, which is sloping, with no wall in between onto which to attach a curtain or track.

I could be entirely wrong though.

I've already sent my best suggestion to Granny, based on how I am imagining the situation.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It's nearly two years later but I had a batten put over the window and now have a curtain rail

If you said batten........you were right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of the UNLOS in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and i had said no rush - pmsl

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still contend that whatever I said was probably still the right answer, GC just found an alternate solution (which is why it took almost 2 years).

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general..."

They are Rubbish at free advice aren't they ? pffffffffffft

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general..."

Well, to be fair,
" No I can't put up a baton."
in the OP actually just demonstrates the problems us men have with women.

{ducks behind sofa}

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general..."

well as the op clearly miss led about the batten then the advice I gave last year was of high quality..

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general...

well as the op clearly miss led about the batten then the advice I gave last year was of high quality..

Objection! The O.P. clearly says, 'I cannot fix a baton' .........

She does not say .... A batten cannot be affixed.

The O.P. did not mislead anyone

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Objection! The O.P. clearly says, 'I cannot fix a baton' .........

She does not say .... A batten cannot be affixed.

The O.P. did not mislead anyone

Oooh, I'm so going to answer every post from a women asking help with

"Simple, get a man to do it, luv."

Or possibly "babe"

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

See ... Batten ...we told you so .. Now try to fix the gas boiler

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"See ... Batten ...we told you so .. Now try to fix the gas boiler"

I'll get N.N. to do that. She's cheap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a happy ending.

Now what kind of curtains are you going to have?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I love a happy ending.

Now what kind of curtains are you going to have?"

I was thinking out of the box .. sort of rectangles and hang them on the poles.....

What about that for an idea !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suckers,,,,,,,

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm so glad it's sorted. Will there be a party Granny?

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I'm so glad it's sorted. Will there be a party Granny?"

A party?

For a pair of curtains?

Pull yourself together woman!

Oh hang on, that might be the punchline for a different thead....

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm so glad it's sorted. Will there be a party Granny?

A party?

For a pair of curtains?

Pull yourself together woman!

Oh hang on, that might be the punchline for a different thead....

The rail holds three pairs if it makes any difference.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I'm so glad it's sorted. Will there be a party Granny?

A party?

For a pair of curtains?

Pull yourself together woman!

Oh hang on, that might be the punchline for a different thead....

The rail holds three pairs if it makes any difference.

Three curtains?

{goes off to check the Bob Monkhouse book of punchlines...}

Bugger, nada, sorry

Closest I could come up with involved 4 candles

I'll tell Mrs ddc to get her party frock on

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Three PAIRS is six curtains.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Three PAIRS is six curtains. "

How big is this window?! I have a double fronted bay and it only needs three wide curtains.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Three PAIRS is six curtains.

How big is this window?! I have a double fronted bay and it only needs three wide curtains.

How do you open 3 curtains ?

Do you have one hanging in the middle ?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The window is a rectangular bay. Average size. I buy a curtain for the side, a curtain for the other side and four curtains for the main window...... one must do things correctly.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Three PAIRS is six curtains. "

In my defence, we men can't be expected to do humour, politics and mathematics at the same time, not when we're worrying about being ugly, and trying to cook a beef brisket as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general...

well as the op clearly miss led about the batten then the advice I gave last year was of high quality..

Objection! The O.P. clearly says, 'I cannot fix a baton' .........

She does not say .... A batten cannot be affixed.

The O.P. did not mislead anyone

If I'd seen this thread a year ago I would suggested affixing a batten.

Hope that helps.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Can I just point out that I did a 'find in page' search and absolutely no-one suggested a batten. I don't know what that says about the quality of advice given on here in general...

well as the op clearly miss led about the batten then the advice I gave last year was of high quality..

Objection! The O.P. clearly says, 'I cannot fix a baton' .........

She does not say .... A batten cannot be affixed.

The O.P. did not mislead anyone

If I'd seen this thread a year ago I would suggested affixing a batten.

Hope that helps.

You could have saved the internet 175 posts worth of space

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Three PAIRS is six curtains.

How big is this window?! I have a double fronted bay and it only needs three wide curtains.

How do you open 3 curtains ?

Do you have one hanging in the middle ?"

Yep. I just had to use a double hook on the tie back. Looks pretty, anyway.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

This isn't easy you know

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