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Things your parents told you when you were young

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

As kids in the back seat of the car being naughty, my dad would put his hand on the ejector button and threaten to send us into space. Years later I discovered what the button on the handbrake was really for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mum told me i was Shpeshal

Gimp

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

My grandad told me the sea off Blackpool was called the suckitansee I believed him for years !!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

My mum used to phone my nan up when me and my brother were fighting and she'd pretend to be the lady in charge of the local children's home to scare us.

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"

My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i was about 10 i asked my mum how do women get pregnant and she said they cuddle each other in the nude, she didnt say that the man puts his cock in a womans pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"

My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That I would go blind if I didn't leave it alone....

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

That if you pull a face and the wind changes you'll stay like that!

(Did our parents and grandparents realise how much they scared us?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That blind summits were little creatures with bright pink hair and big goofy teeth.

Obviously I told my kids too but I think telling outrageous lies to your children is the best part of being a parent .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wait till your father gets home...opps

And treat those how they treat you, and fuck the rest lol

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thar if the ice cream van eds playing a tune, it ment he'd run out....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will stay like that lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always invest in gas

And the meter was a money box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always shut the lavvy door so the wind wouldn't blow it off the hinges.

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By *exbomb35Couple
over a year ago

Argyll

If I bit my nails a bit from my nail could get into my stomach burst my stomach bag and I'd die from internal bleeding

Nice I know :/ good one mum

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"My mum used to phone my nan up when me and my brother were fighting and she'd pretend to be the lady in charge of the local children's home to scare us."

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"If I cried I was told "Stop crying or I'll give you something to really cry about"

My Grandad had a grape vine in the garden all the grandchildren were told not to eat the grapes as they give you upset tummies and are bad. Summer after Grandad died, Nan came round with a carrier bag full of grapes and said to mum to have them etc. I over heard this and said, No they will give you bad bellies everyone laughed, this is when I found out Grandad wanted them all to himself so he could make wine.... Grape vine is still there all these years later and I take great pleasure in eating "my Grandads grapes" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That Santa really did exist

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

To always wear clean underwear

She just never told me whose lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To stop twiddling with it or it would fall off - still twiddle and I've still got it

And, if I swallowed apple pips then an apple tree would grow in my stomach - so I'd swallow them just to see :p

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

If I broke my legs not to come running to her for sympathy.

Stay away from dirty girls, all the girls I went near never smelled dirty lol.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

That carrots would make you see in the dark (I fucking hated carrots and still do).

That eating crusts made your hair curly - I hated having curly hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dads favourite saying:

I'm older than you,

Wiser than you

And know more than you.

Definitely not the last two though, was dumb enough to not hide his porn collection from me, I got caught with it at school, asked where I got it from I dropped him in the shit!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

My mother's favourite was, "Make sure you have clean underwear on when you out in case you get knocked down by a bus!"

My thinking was: A) there were no local bus routes, & B) in any such accident, usually one wets or shits themselves due to shock etc, etc!

Nope! Mum knew best and told me I had no idea at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We told our kids when they were toddlers that the red light that came on in the house alarm PIR Sensors in every room was Santa keeping an eye on them to make sure they were being good for their Christmas prezzies.

It worked a treat for years. But I don't know if it will have long term "Big Brother" damaging effect on them

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..


"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in."

That's the one.. 2..

We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wear clean underwear say you get run over.

I would probably shit myself mum then what?

I never said that btw

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

If I ate my porridge it would grow hairs on my chest? Seriously she did. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most frequent was :

Night, night.

ps we wuz posh, we didnt have bed bugs to bite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From something my mum used to say, a lot, i can only guess that my maternal grandma had a lot of sons.

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By *allfungent24Man
over a year ago

city

They told me I was adopted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't put things in your mouth if you can't be sure where it's been..... If only she knew lol.

Don't swallow apple pips or tree would grow

And if some one said.. We'll see then it always meant no! Lol

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

i found my mums Dildoo and brought it downstairs when her friends were in and asked mum why she had a big rocket thing?. . and her friends all with young babies wet themselves as one shouted it takes your mum to the moon and back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That the wild cat that nearly clawed my eyes out aged 4 had gone back to.its mummy who came looking for it when I was at nursery...

Aka the vets..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To always wear clean underwear

She just never told me whose lol"

Lol love it

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

that the milk and rolls on folks doorstep in mornin was left out for me to pick up for my dad as they owed him it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.

We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.

When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.

When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.

Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes.

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..


"To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.

We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.

When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.

When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.

Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes. "

Did you not keep a track of your post-office book ?? watching it go up in value ??

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We had to account for all chewing gum, because when swallowed it somehow managed to unravel and twist inside your body. I swallowed bits to disprove this. I still wonder if it is still inside, unravelling.

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks


"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.

That's the one.. 2..

We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. "

we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You won't feel the benefit when you go out if you leave your coat on inside

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

if you kill an insect you will get lots more as they will all come to its funeral

and lots more too many to go into x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you kill an insect you will get lots more as they will all come to its funeral

and lots more too many to go into x"

My mum used to say that.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

all the kids get locked in a crate for 8weeks in the summer not just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i believed for quite a long time that corporation pop was something special not just plain tap water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friends dad told him that he killed all the dinosaurs from a tank when he was in the army. He only found out that this was a lie when his teacher asked "does anyone know why the dinosaurs died out?".....

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!


"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.

That's the one.. 2..

We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off

"

For crying out loud I burst out laughing at that one then and scared the dog hahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad once told me the definition of indefinitely

When your balls are banging on her bum you are in definitely lol

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By *heHoneymonstersCouple
over a year ago

cambridge

If u cross the road before the green man appears u will be arrested, as u can imagine I always waited and so do my children now as I use that same line on them (great road safety)

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

ly doon on your cunt or I'll kill you you little bastard !

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"when i was about 10 i asked my mum how do women get pregnant and she said they cuddle each other in the nude, she didnt say that the man puts his cock in a womans pussy.

"

That reminded me, when I was 7 we moved house and our new next door neighbour was pregnant.

Being me, I didn't ask how the baby got there. I wanted to know how it was decided whether it would be a boy baby or a girl baby. And thus mum taught me, aged 7, genetics.

That's pretty much typical of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To save all my birthday& chridtmas money, everything I earned from my part time jobs.

We'd go to the post office to put it in regularly.

When I was 16 I got a full time job , paid my rent and saved the rest.

When I was 17 I bought my first car. I asked for my post office book only to find my account contained only a few pounds.

Her explanation; apparently I bought all my own school uniform and shoes.

Did you not keep a track of your post-office book ?? watching it go up in value ?? "

Nope. Mother held onto it

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By *exbomb35Couple
over a year ago

Argyll


"You won't feel the benefit when you go out if you leave your coat on inside"

Lol I say that to my kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat your crusts you will get curly hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha that kippers were lazy fish I am still waiting to play the same trick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my dad: if you can't be good, be careful.

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By *atchelor BoyMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

My nan had a saying

"all girls should wear skirts" when my sisters asked why

"girls can run with their skirts up, boys cant run with their trousers down"

gramp used to say to the boys "if your not in bed by midnight, go home"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gran said "never trust a man with testicles"

And

If you swallow chewy (gum) it will wrap round your heart and kill you

Plus

keep your hand on your ha'penny ... I did.. im surprised i leave the house

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

if it looks too good to be true, it probably is... certainly paid off when it comes to this website...

haha! (runs for cover)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There were real bugs inside humbug sweets lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That if you picked your nose, your head would cave in.

That's the one.. 2..

We both grew up with that one - But Never had to tell our kids that for some reason.. we got told that as well. Also if you put anything in your belly button that your bum would fall off

"

Lmfao love it! Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" mum" Look after your pennies and your pounds will look after themselves! "Grandad" always save something for your pension because the government will leave you to rot

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By *uperGuy68Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"That Santa really did exist "

Erm.....He does!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just keep it in your pants son. Its not worth the hassle. "

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"i found my mums Dildoo and brought it downstairs when her friends were in and asked mum why she had a big rocket thing?. . and her friends all with young babies wet themselves as one shouted it takes your mum to the moon and back "

Pmsl

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"i believed for quite a long time that corporation pop was something special not just plain tap water"

I did as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in school we did sex education. They suggested we talk to our family about where children came from.

I asked mum and she said they picked them up from hospital where they are made. Grandma said they were delivered by storks. Great grandma said they were found under gooseberry bushes.

My essay started "There has been no sexual intercourse in my family for three generations"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Eat your crusts you will get curly hair "

worked for me

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