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Can people really change?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What’s your experience is it a yey on a ney?

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I think people change as they go through life. Experiences mould them.

I'm not sure you can change your personality on purpose though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No

Once an arse always an arse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No

Once an arse always an arse "

Err I would say it would be hard for an arse to metamorphosis into something else

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

I changed this very morning, when the sun came out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s your experience is it a yey on a ney?"

No they just get better at hiding it from you

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By *eckyWithTheGoodHairWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

I am a completely different person to that if my teenage self. With life experiences and a little knowledge I feel I have become a better person. At eighteen I was a know it all tosser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People change relating to the life experiences they experience as they go through life , mostly these changes are temporary and the person returns to their normal self when they learn how to cope with the issue they have faced .

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I believe a person can change....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a person can change. I've done it myself and it ain't an easy task at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen people change on here. Sometimes more than a couple of times a day.

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By *ighornysquirterCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

No they don't I was with a man who was an arse seen him ten yrs later was still an arse they will feed u all the bull but don't fall for it

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I know a person can change. I've done it myself and it ain't an easy task at times. "

Nope it certainly isn't....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people realise where they went wrong and change how they treat people so they don't lose someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes people can change,sometimes for the good and sometimes for the worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know a man who used to be cruel and hit his dogs, he doesnt now and he is a different person.

i know i have changed as i got older, learnt from my mistakes and learnt things from the internet.

also my husband changed when he met me as when he was with his first wife he wasnt such a nice person and his daughter told me he was much stricter with her than he was with my son.

Being with different people can change you for the better, sometimes.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

I've changed. . . .i was a prick but now im just a dick

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"What’s your experience is it a yey on a ney?"

I've changed, insofar as I used to be straight then became bi. I'll always be bi I suppose even if I never touch another cock ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Think as people mellow out in life they can, and especially if they become more content.

Some people just can't though even if they want to.

Her

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By *r-UniqueMan
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"What’s your experience is it a yey on a ney?"

It is possible with lots of hard work and a bit of support. However I don't care of someone does change. If they have given me or a lived one that much distress I won't be forgiving. Despite of they have changed.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

. .i drank 8cans of miller a day . .

now i only drink 8cans of fosters . . .

no just joking im on the ecans . .

they're empty and just smell the vapour. . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people can change , like others have said sometimes for better & sometimes for worse !

Life experience definitely changes you as a person & it depends whether you use that experience in a positive or negative way. I'm all for giving someone a second chance - they very seldom, if ever, get a 3rd though !

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

Circumstance plays a major part in any kind of change but the will to change is based on the individuals need. A serial cheater may not want to change because they get away with it but being faced with being caught may just cause them to a rethink of their actions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, otherwise we would shoot teenage shoplifters as they could never grow into a useful part of society.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Yes people can change.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Yes. You learn, you get wiser, you figure out where you went wrong and you consider it the next time a similar situation occurs. I'm all for forgiveness when it comes to other people as well; if they fuck me over I can consider it logically and see where I may have allowed them to or even caused it with my own behaviour (hence why I am still friends with all my exes).

I think the only thing I'll never be able to change is the fury I feel when someone close to me gets fucked over. If someone hurts someone I care about then the old teenage firebrand in me comes out with metaphorical guns blazing.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

. . .i was lost but now im found. .

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Well that's it! You've ALL changed in my opinion.

I spelt mold - mould and not one of you got your pedant on and had a bite.

Fuck you all! Gah!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Think there are things that happen if life that makes us all stop and take stock. Opinions, veiws and likes/ dislikes can all change over time , with experience and life in general .

If you are talking of a persons character , attitude and general way they conduct themselves towards others, like most things in life they will only change if they themselves want too. Spose its also , how we perceive the person? Ie if they always been a twat are we going to give them the chance to show they no longer are?!

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

no once a twat always a twat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"no once a twat always a twat "

Does that mean non twats can't become twats then?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Some people learn from experience, some don't. But essentially people are what they are and do not change.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

with my own eyes i watched a well to do educated man change into a blethering madman . . .in seconds. . .

.

.he caught me inside his wife

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

It's a 'how long is a piece of string' question IMO. Some people can change, beyond recognitions sometimes, others get stuck in a rut and never manage it - and everything in between. I'd say it was pretty hard to tell beforehand, if not impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all depends in what its in relation too, in some ways ive changed from who i was 5 years ago, in other aspects im exactly the same and have the same opinions and havent changed from when i was a teen.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Of course people change. It's hard work not to change.

Think of the various components about what some think is what makes a person who they are -

their identity

their beliefs,

their skills, behaviour habits and experiences

situational biases, such as people behaving certain ways in limited contexts, but not others - confident at home, nervous at interviews etc.

As we're constantly bombarded with new things around us, we do learn to fit new stuff to the patterns that we've created. Our habitual behavioural patterns are just habits, and other behavioural responses can be learned and - subject to motivation - old triggers can stimulate new behavioural responses.

The question of what someone's identity is certainly interesting. We've got our base genetic material that we've inherited from parents plus all of our life's experiences, starting within the womb, that helps shape our concepts of who we are. We do have choices, and as adults we can help shape the direction our life takes, as well as the person that we are.

Ultimately, someone can persist with a seemingly rigid concept of who they are themselves, they may hold beliefs about what is right and wrong for them, and how they should relate with others. They may be somewhat uncomfortable about some aspects of themselves or their lives, but also somewhat ignorant about much of themselves, why they do things in certain ways and how they affect others. Sometimes ignorance may seemingly be bliss - some may perpetually wonder why they are alone, or the reason that others don't seem to like them that much, or they may spend little to no time on self-reflection.

So my belief is that people can and do change but isolating exactly what is a person's identity, separately to whatever else constitutes their mind and selves, is a little artificial, even if someone's identity is fluid too, as are the other aspects of what they are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Of course people change. It's hard work not to change.

Think of the various components about what some think is what makes a person who they are -

their identity

their beliefs,

their skills, behaviour habits and experiences

situational biases, such as people behaving certain ways in limited contexts, but not others - confident at home, nervous at interviews etc.

As we're constantly bombarded with new things around us, we do learn to fit new stuff to the patterns that we've created. Our habitual behavioural patterns are just habits, and other behavioural responses can be learned and - subject to motivation - old triggers can stimulate new behavioural responses.

The question of what someone's identity is certainly interesting. We've got our base genetic material that we've inherited from parents plus all of our life's experiences, starting within the womb, that helps shape our concepts of who we are. We do have choices, and as adults we can help shape the direction our life takes, as well as the person that we are.

Ultimately, someone can persist with a seemingly rigid concept of who they are themselves, they may hold beliefs about what is right and wrong for them, and how they should relate with others. They may be somewhat uncomfortable about some aspects of themselves or their lives, but also somewhat ignorant about much of themselves, why they do things in certain ways and how they affect others. Sometimes ignorance may seemingly be bliss - some may perpetually wonder why they are alone, or the reason that others don't seem to like them that much, or they may spend little to no time on self-reflection.

So my belief is that people can and do change but isolating exactly what is a person's identity, separately to whatever else constitutes their mind and selves, is a little artificial, even if someone's identity is fluid too, as are the other aspects of what they are."

I get that but a lot put across the point once a bastard always a bastard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. And they do.

Occasionally for the better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I believe a person can change.... "

So do I.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yes. And they do.

Occasionally for the better. "

I have no doubt some do but is it just a minority and are most stuck on the same path throughout life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you want to change someone? Accept or move on I say...x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I try to change things about myself I find unlike-able, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't.

If you're a reflective person you might have more chance at changing things that you wish to I don't know, just a hunch.

If you have poor insight it may be more difficult to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how can u generalize?

if U do, u just show a poor understanding of the human psyche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes. And they do.

Occasionally for the better.

I have no doubt some do but is it just a minority and are most stuck on the same path throughout life?"

Don't you just hate crossroads.

I'd say there are a minority stuck on the same path, to the smallest detail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a narcissistic bellend always a narci ..... oh just always a bellend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think people can change some just have a nasty streak a mile long no matter how they try and conceal it it always resurfaced at some point.......once a tossa always a tossa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless the individual has a serious medical condition then it shouldn't be impossible for someone to change.

It just takes a lot of effort, sincerity and perseverance. Just my opinion.

Silk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No people don't change,they just get better at hiding what shits they really are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes they can, they have to make that choice though!

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By *ing and RideCouple
over a year ago

stockport

Nope a leopard can't change it's spots....

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/05/14 00:47:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No

Once an arse always an arse "
so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s your experience is it a yey on a ney?"

Yey.

If they're open to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Several times a week if you're schizophrenic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes with right love n support n understanding of who they r xx n wat they want to b a lone n together x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there's any sensible doubt that people can and do change. Whether people can accept change is less certain.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I think that people that really want to can.

Some just say they will to get them out of trouble etc but they never do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that people that really want to can.

Some just say they will to get them out of trouble etc but they never do! "
There has to be a desire and many don't have it.

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