It's important to have cast iron fixed boundaries, after you split. Avoid anything that could hint at a potential opening for it to rekindle. It's being cruel to be kind, sometimes, as it may be soothing for all parties to spend some time together. But that can just draw out the pain and increase false hopes.
You've got to rebuild and establish yourself again, as a single person, not just half of a couple. How you do it is what works for you. We're sexual beasts, so sex and passion can help to divert us.
If you're going out on the pull, it's wise to do it as sensitively as possible, to your ex's feelings. You keep their hopes diminished not by rubbing noses in it, but by communicating things very explicitly, that there is no future for you both.
Your emotions need to settle down - even as the partner ending something, you've perhaps been in love, and falling out of love takes some energy, as you reverse what happened when you got into it. So I make sure there's also plenty of rest time for me, in addition to the exciting stuff. You may have a type of grieving to do, over lost dreams of what may have been etc. You'd not try to force the hand of grief, after someone's death, so it's fair to also ensure you get to move at the right pace for you, whenever you've left something or someone behind. |
haha my motto exactly 
