FabSwingers.com forum: I don't want to meet you.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't mind either, we can take the rejection with dignity and good grace.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

either and we've used both in the appropriate circumstances.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I've sent both of those.

I think I prefer to get the unequivocal "you're not what I am looking for" as the second option would have me asking lots of questions and defending that I know what I want and/or need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either is fine with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would prefer the first but ive used the second when ive felt it was applicable

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

"I've sent both of those.

I think I prefer to get the unequivocal "you're not what I am looking for" as the second option would have me asking lots of questions and defending that I know what I want and/or need.

Yes this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id prefer sorry your not what im looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have used both on occasion - not always sucessfully

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By *r-UniqueMan
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

2nd one as how do they know what the other person wants as maybe the other person may not mind what they get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both are better than the standard single male rejection message, that goes

'...'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've sent both of those.

I think I prefer to get the unequivocal "you're not what I am looking for" as the second option would have me asking lots of questions and defending that I know what I want and/or need.

we've used the "we're not what you're looking for" when the people/person who has contacted us has a profile that says that the lady is very bi and loves the ladies or "we are shaved smooth and like you to be too" or "Fred loves to lick a lady for hours"....we know we're not what they're looking for and say why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"2nd one as how do they know what the other person wants as maybe the other person may not mind what they get? "

it's usually on their profile

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

ive had both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either is fine, rather that than be mucked about or just ignorance.

Straight out there with how it is much better.

Her

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Never recieved either from a first message but how would someone know what I want without a conversation of some sort. Clearly if I've messaged them there is something about them that I like. I would probably fund this one somewhat annoying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sent both in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/04/14 21:48:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wouldnt mind, im not the sort of person who would appeal to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd rather the message got deleted(notbthst it happens a lot *cough*)

But personally I'd prefer it got deleted.

By giving any of the two responses your inviting a pointless conversation.

As a single male I don't get that great amount of messages to be honest, but I have deleted mail before more than once.

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By *rsFine-MrBallsCouple
over a year ago

markinch

Does it matter, rejection is rejection lol

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By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago

to be quite honest it doesn't matter about preference when you get a rejection .... you get rejected and you move on. if you have questions when somebody says, " we're not what you are looking for", then don't send another message asking them to explain, you've been told no and doing so is pestering. it's a tuff world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Either is fine, rather that than be mucked about or just ignorance. "

I must be in the minority because I honestly don't mind just being ignored.

If you put a gun to my headand asked me to choose one, I'd pick the first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Either is fine, rather that than be mucked about or just ignorance.

I must be in the minority because I honestly don't mind just being ignored.

If you put a gun to my headand asked me to choose one, I'd pick the first. "

Yeah I don't give a fuck either.

It's the guys that do that struggle on here no doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 21/04/14 21:48:24]"

I was about to agree with you about deleting as it can invite a pointless conversation,it also means that if they message again they get the pop up telling them they have already mailed with no response previously

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Never recieved either from a first message but how would someone know what I want without a conversation of some sort. Clearly if I've messaged them there is something about them that I like. I would probably fund this one somewhat annoying "

From your profile, that's when we send it if their profile states things that we don't have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 21/04/14 21:48:24]

I reposted it above without the shitty grammar errors

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have read some profiles where they ask for something/ someone particular and it's not me, so I've used the 2nd message.

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

would be nice to get any reply . like most males here, messages just get deleted, without reply. lol

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

In an ideal world either would do, unfortunately when you use one of the options some people get their pants in a right bunch up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would be nice to get any reply . like most males here, messages just get deleted, without reply. lol"

But what difference does it make getting a reply that says "No thanks"?

The end result is the same.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I have sent both in the past! Sometimes I just know they haven't read my profile, so I know I am not for them!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have read some profiles where they ask for something/ someone particular and it's not me, so I've used the 2nd message."

Yes, as I've said above people often message us and the contents of their profile clearly show that we would not fit their requirements at all.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

From your profile, that's when we send it if their profile states things that we don't have.

I wouldn't message someone that had clear differences. But then many don't bother reading profiles I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Either is fine, rather that than be mucked about or just ignorance.

I must be in the minority because I honestly don't mind just being ignored.

If you put a gun to my headand asked me to choose one, I'd pick the first. "
yes, that's,a different way of looking at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never used or received either , but then again we have never asked anyone if we are for them .

Those who message us who we are interested in we meet , and those we are not interested in we block .

Simple and effective , with no need for reasons

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

. .i just say its no you its me

x X X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

I'm rather fond of the first option - I have become quite use to it now.

The second one would promt me to ask "how do you know you're not?"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

From your profile, that's when we send it if their profile states things that we don't have.

I wouldn't message someone that had clear differences. But then many don't bother reading profiles I guess"

And your last sentence about sums it up

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

The first one. I don't appreciate being told what I think or what I want.

I have previously pointed it out to people who have messaged me if I don't fit what their profile says they are looking for though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the past I have used both.

Using the 1st one I get asked ~ what can I do to change your mind?

Using the 2nd one they reply ~ of course you're what I'm looking for.

so I stick with a ~ thanks but no thanks reply, easier!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

The first as someone telling me what I am or am not looking for is presumptuous at best unless they are a mind reader they can only guess not know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

Have you been watching Blue Planet of something what with the turtles and now whales

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

well I'm not going swimming in the sea again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

Have you been watching Blue Planet of something what with the turtles and now whales

No I just enjoy useless facts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

well I'm not going swimming in the sea again

Haha could spell disaster

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

well I'm not going swimming in the sea again

Haha could spell disaster

how would you ever track down the father?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

well I'm not going swimming in the sea again

Haha could spell disaster

how would you ever track down the father?"

Good point no child support plus mystery pregnancy could make a baby whale be though of as whale Jesus

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""
The former.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Definitely the first no confusion that way on a separate note sperm whales produce 400 gallons of sperm

do they? Blimey they must have to use big condoms

Although 360 gallons spill into the sea I smell unwanted pregnancy looming

well I'm not going swimming in the sea again

Haha could spell disaster

how would you ever track down the father?

Good point no child support plus mystery pregnancy could make a baby whale be though of as whale Jesus

If I got pregnant it would be a miracle that's true

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd prefer the first, I think. Otherwise, it can be de-personalised, and made something like

'Sophie and Tim are currently pursuing a range of opportunities that have arisen, due to the current social climate that has become apparent'

or some other yuck stuff that an automated rejection anonymiser might create.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

The former...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""
but I'll pay you anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first for me ..... Would be a lot easier if they had a thanks but not thanks button ! One press auto response sent and maybe even an auto reminder that you said no already if they tried to mail you again !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first for me ..... Would be a lot easier if they had a thanks but not thanks button ! One press auto response sent and maybe even an auto reminder that you said no already if they tried to mail you again !

"
did I say that?

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

A knock back is a knock back, how ever which way you want to sugar coat it.

But some people on here are to up there own a**e to reply yes/no thankyou. After all,we are all in the same boat 'here to have fun'

So either is appropriate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

Wouldnt bother me which 1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest. I really don't mind either. Even, if it is a no response. I really can't do much if they don't reply to my message. I'd take that as a no. I don't even look at my sent messages - what's the point? They can reply if they want to. It's not the end of the world.

...i've had people who've said i'm not what they are looking for message me back a few months down the line asking if i'm free to meet them or what not. I don't think i should be replying back saying 'yeah, but you dont fancy me so it wont happen'. Some have the cheek to say the other guys they chose over me weren't all that - i ain't going to be no 'ah he'll do for now'.

By that stage i'm already put off, as in the back of my head i'd be thinking she don't really fancy me to be honest.

However, i do like to know where i stand with people. Sometimes it feels as though many just lead me on. They have my number, message me, suggest arranging a meet but then they never do when it comes to the nitty gritty of sorting it.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"either and we've used both in the appropriate circumstances."

...as have I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first. The second opens up the opportunity for them to say "Ah but you are!!!!".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive given up sending rejections as it without fail leads to another message thanking me for replying etc and thus perpetuates the endless stream of messages. At the moment my profile is very clear im not meeting so any message sent is pointless x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive given up sending rejections as it without fail leads to another message thanking me for replying etc and thus perpetuates the endless stream of messages. At the moment my profile is very clear im not meeting so any message sent is pointless x "

If someone says thank you for replying that's nice, surely. I always reply to the first message. No need to reply after that. No conversation, just happy people.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I'd rather receive the first one or just a No Thanks

Point taken and end of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which of these rejection messages would you prefer to receive, and why?

"Sorry but you're not what I'm looking for."

Sorry but I'm not what you're looking for.""

Either would be fine. Both are perfectly reasonable responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would prefer the first but ive used the second when ive felt it was applicable"

We find it is the second response that guys have had trouble accepting, and go on to question why ? Our reasons are usually because the guy is interested, or presuing something, we just aren't into, and not a response to physical appearance.

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

As the person who deals with messages in this partnership (female) I have to say I usually would respond to a message saying we were not interested. Seems very rude to delete or not reply.

Both the OP's responses were good but I think I like the second best

Julie x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We are always interested in receiving feedback from potential swinging partners, and thank you for your comments. We will be updating our profile shortly, so that you would never be under the misapprehension again that we'd meet someone like you. xxxxxxxxxxxx

That's dripping with empathy, and makes it fairly clear that it's all our fault.

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