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Promoting Safe Sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So...my single friend has been dating a guy for a few weeks and last night they did the deed. I get the panic call this morning, she needs the morning after pill. I asked the obvious question, what happened to condoms, her response? "it was an impulse thing, we never planned it" (i think sex usually is, but there you go). So after the usual, I tell her to make sure she keeps a pack handy in future, she says they were right next to her in the bedside cabinet!

Do you think it's because of forums like this that safe sex is more widely practised within this lifestyle?

I see folk out at the weekends and, whilst promiscuous, I doubt there's much safe sex being practised, so I just wondered what made you that bit more savvy??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In this lifestyle you quickly learn that if you try to go bareback you become known as a bit of a loose cannon. I'm not saying bareback doesn't happen, of course it does, but all the parties involved know what they are getting into and that's what they want to do. The rest of us simply won't swing without condoms (in my experience). We've never been asked to go bareback by the guys we've played with (we've never swung with another couple), and those guys have performed well even though wearing condoms.

I think in the vanilla world there is a general apathy towards viral diseases and a mindset of "it won't happen to me". I was just as guilty as a young man and when I look back to how many times I had sex without condoms I thank the lucky stars that I a) am still in good sexual health, and b) have only got two children! (both born within wedlock albeit to two wives lol).

Swinging has certainly enforced the ideaology that if you take one risk it's one risk too many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In this lifestyle you become very careful as you know you're seeing other people, they're seeing other people...the figures can be alarming, so you protect yourself the best you can.

I've just spent a lovely time with one of my playmates, it took time just putting the condoms on the toys but we never do anything that involves penetration without a condom!!!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

its a good question ,no doubt people who swing are more savvy about the implications of more partners who have more partners therefore bringing more risks ,the debates about bareback or not are legendary on here.

But from those debates seem to come the opinion that it is about what your individual level of risk is up to you , as to whether you wear a condom or dont.

If you do penetrative with a condom ,do you for oral etc etc etc . The core change from the early days is people seem more tolerant of others stance and that brings honesty.

In vanilla world i just dont think its really on peoples radar .or if it is its over ridden by the moment ,as in your friends case.

Ask an average vanilla the statistical odds of contracting hiv with unprotected vs protected and they wouldnt know but on the forums its been debated and the facts made clear,so people make their choices knowing the facts.

ps )condoms dont make you safe ...just safer than without

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"its a good question ,no doubt people who swing are more savvy about the implications of more partners who have more partners therefore bringing more risks ,the debates about bareback or not are legendary on here.

But from those debates seem to come the opinion that it is about what your individual level of risk is up to you , as to whether you wear a condom or dont.

If you do penetrative with a condom ,do you for oral etc etc etc . The core change from the early days is people seem more tolerant of others stance and that brings honesty.

In vanilla world i just dont think its really on peoples radar .or if it is its over ridden by the moment ,as in your friends case.

Ask an average vanilla the statistical odds of contracting hiv with unprotected vs protected and they wouldnt know but on the forums its been debated and the facts made clear,so people make their choices knowing the facts.

ps )condoms dont make you safe ...just safer than without "

totally agree,the only safe sex is no sex...but it sure would be a quicker route to the grave!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"its a good question ,no doubt people who swing are more savvy about the implications of more partners who have more partners therefore bringing more risks ,the debates about bareback or not are legendary on here.

But from those debates seem to come the opinion that it is about what your individual level of risk is up to you , as to whether you wear a condom or dont.

If you do penetrative with a condom ,do you for oral etc etc etc . The core change from the early days is people seem more tolerant of others stance and that brings honesty.

In vanilla world i just dont think its really on peoples radar .or if it is its over ridden by the moment ,as in your friends case.

Ask an average vanilla the statistical odds of contracting hiv with unprotected vs protected and they wouldnt know but on the forums its been debated and the facts made clear,so people make their choices knowing the facts.

ps )condoms dont make you safe ...just safer than without

totally agree,the only safe sex is no sex...but it sure would be a quicker route to the grave! "

that is so true .....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world."

..and to be honest, I never really considered it that way before. I guess I was pretty ignorant about what others were up to. I've never been one for picking up a d*unk in a bar, if I was I guess I wouldn't be here...but now, not a chance! They scare me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/10 18:35:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/10 18:36:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think that its very irresponsible 'NOT' to use a condom, especially when its someone you have only just met. I think some swingers of a certain age have a very blasé attitude to safe sex, and think because they are older there is no risk (or little) of contracting a STI. I also don't think that people (that 'Only' do bareback) realise the implications of their acts, especially if the males they are meeting are pretending to be single and are going home to have unprotected sex with their partners.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"I personally think that its very irresponsible 'NOT' to use a condom, especially when its someone you have only just met. I think some swingers of a certain age have a very blasé attitude to safe sex, and think because they are older there is no risk (or little) of contracting a STI. I also don't think that people (that 'Only' do bareback) realise the implications of their acts, especially if the males they are meeting are pretending to be single and are going home to have unprotected sex with their partners."

What 'certain age' would that be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world."

I would agree with you 100% on that. The only thing is though nearly every swinger is playing with lots of other people and its not always the case with saterday night sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

even before i joined the swingin world i kept condoms in my drawer as the std rates scare me!!

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What 'certain age' would that be?"

40+ usually. Dogging is the worst place for unprotected sex, as I've personally seen women that will take 10+ men on without a condom. I've also been asked on a few occasions if I would like to 'Fill a woman up' and when I've said 'I don't do bareback' they get quite angry. Not that there is any shortage of desperate males willing to spin that chamber with one bullet it it, but its just not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think he meant older sometimes equate the risk with pregnancy and not doses and if they past they baby makin stage then everythin ok in their eyes!

i posted a thing a few wks ago about the rise in std's in the over 40s age group and the 18 to 24 group xx

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

It's easy.

No picture, no verification, no description, no character, no personality, no hope.

Safe as houses me.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world.

I would agree with you 100% on that. The only thing is though nearly every swinger is playing with lots of other people and its not always the case with saterday night sex."

Thats not stictly true,I have single friends that sleep with far more people than I do as they're out every weekend getting d*unk and going home with people

We don't play like that and im sure there are lots that are the same

Swinging does'nt equal promiscuity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world.

I would agree with you 100% on that. The only thing is though nearly every swinger is playing with lots of other people and its not always the case with saterday night sex.

Thats not stictly true,I have single friends that sleep with far more people than I do as they're out every weekend getting d*unk and going home with people

We don't play like that and im sure there are lots that are the same

Swinging does'nt equal promiscuity"

that is a great point!! i know amongst my friends there is one who always pulls at least twice a wk end im lucky if i meet once a month but if she knew the judgement would be on me even though she is shaggin more randoms than i ever have or will!! funny old world innit!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Swinging does'nt equal promiscuity"

That's true, but you can't justify unprotected sex just because other people do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What 'certain age' would that be?

40+ usually. Dogging is the worst place for unprotected sex, as I've personally seen women that will take 10+ men on without a condom. I've also been asked on a few occasions if I would like to 'Fill a woman up' and when I've said 'I don't do bareback' they get quite angry. Not that there is any shortage of desperate males willing to spin that chamber with one bullet it it, but its just not for me."

I’ve never seen loads of people bare backing whilst dogging, in fact most of the time full sex doesn’t even take place, many just watch, you should be more worried about that thing sticking out your mouth in you’re avatar, that’s the bullet in the chamber you should be worrying about, oh and yes we smoke too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had a meet with a guy a few years ago and ended up having unprotected sex, the next day when we realised what we had done we both went to the clinic for a check. since then lesson learned, and thank god we were clear.

my point is it is better without condoms but think of the future we learnt the scary way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What 'certain age' would that be?

40+ usually. Dogging is the worst place for unprotected sex, as I've personally seen women that will take 10+ men on without a condom. I've also been asked on a few occasions if I would like to 'Fill a woman up' and when I've said 'I don't do bareback' they get quite angry. Not that there is any shortage of desperate males willing to spin that chamber with one bullet it it, but its just not for me."

Disagree completely with this statment

We have been going dogging for years and its not very often at all that you see people taking all comers(pardon the pun) with out protection. In Fact most dogging cpls i know always use protection. In every avenue of swinging you have people that play safe and people that dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite agree - you find safe and unsafe people wherever you go

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"

Swinging does'nt equal promiscuity

That's true, but you can't justify unprotected sex just because other people do it."

Did I say anything about justifying unprotected sex......no I did'nt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slips and accidents do happen but we do learn by them hopefully. My youngest daughter was the best accident of my life.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Its the ones who practice unprotected sex then go back to unsuspecting partners i can't understand!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"

What 'certain age' would that be?

40+ usually. Dogging is the worst place for unprotected sex, as I've personally seen women that will take 10+ men on without a condom. I've also been asked on a few occasions if I would like to 'Fill a woman up' and when I've said 'I don't do bareback' they get quite angry. Not that there is any shortage of desperate males willing to spin that chamber with one bullet it it, but its just not for me."

but that assumes that there is only 6 chambers and one bullet ..where as a couple on here last year worked on the govt figures, number crunched them. The chance of contracting hiv is 1 million to one .(that is if you assume the people who have it do NOT report thay have it or do not know ) .if you assume they do its 3 million to one .

Also there is no such thing as safe sex ....just safer ,,,wearing a condom makes you 5 times safer according to Europe and 3-5 times safer according the American Govt statistics .

Now there is a lot more stuff around than hiv admittedly but most of it is at the moment treatable,if found soon enough ...so testing is essential whether you wear or bare .

Not advocating people bareback but not condeming them either its their body and there risk. as long as they state they do or have, even if a d*unken fumble led to mistakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to use something when i know a guy has not had the snip as though im going through the change, im not sure im safe yet, and yes ive a box in my top drawer, left behind by a gentleman caller

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"I prefer to use something when i know a guy has not had the snip as though im going through the change, im not sure im safe yet, and yes ive a box in my top drawer, left behind by a gentleman caller"

sounds sensible to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive always argued the fact that there are probley more people going out on a weekend getting d*unk taking someone home they dont know and having unprotected sex than there ever is in the swinging world.

I would agree with you 100% on that. The only thing is though nearly every swinger is playing with lots of other people and its not always the case with saterday night sex.

Thats not stictly true,I have single friends that sleep with far more people than I do as they're out every weekend getting d*unk and going home with people

We don't play like that and im sure there are lots that are the same

Swinging does'nt equal promiscuity

that is a great point!! i know amongst my friends there is one who always pulls at least twice a wk end im lucky if i meet once a month but if she knew the judgement would be on me even though she is shaggin more randoms than i ever have or will!! funny old world innit!! xx "

I agree with that, that swinging doesnt equal promiscuity, i dont go with every bloke i chat to or meet, for starters i dont have the time, not the inclination and id much prefer sex with the same people ie a group of friends than shagging a different guy every night. Least that way i know they are safish but i still have condoms ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I prefer to use something when i know a guy has not had the snip as though im going through the change, im not sure im safe yet, and yes ive a box in my top drawer, left behind by a gentleman caller

sounds sensible to me "

well ive not been on the pill for years and no desire to get pregnant at 49 plus i wasnt sure when i registered on here, what was right, seems either way is right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all about quality not quantity

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"I prefer to use something when i know a guy has not had the snip as though im going through the change, im not sure im safe yet, and yes ive a box in my top drawer, left behind by a gentleman caller

sounds sensible to me

well ive not been on the pill for years and no desire to get pregnant at 49 plus i wasnt sure when i registered on here, what was right, seems either way is right"

it doesnt matter what others do ,its your body and you protect it how you want .... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its all about quality not quantity"

You are so right - and while it does worry me when people worry their verifications but of course it is entirely up to them - given the choice I would rather go for one good shag than several half-cocked ones pardon the pun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after seein blue waffle that was the seal on the deal!!imagine goin to the doctor with that!!

people only tell you what you want to hear, and even a monk comin out the monastary would be told to get a condom on it but thats my choice i would rather be 3/5 times more safe than not xx

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"after seein blue waffle that was the seal on the deal!!imagine goin to the doctor with that!!

people only tell you what you want to hear, and even a monk comin out the monastary would be told to get a condom on it but thats my choice i would rather be 3/5 times more safe than not xx "

totally agree with you, as would i ,however every one takes risks in life ,some people in the swinging world accept the risk some dont ...but then some dont use condoms or dams for oral

The risk is purely for the individual to work out for themselves ,but we cant get stuck into them for accepting more risk or into people who accept less risk .....(not meaning you have got stuck into them )

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"after seein blue waffle that was the seal on the deal!!imagine goin to the doctor with that!!

people only tell you what you want to hear, and even a monk comin out the monastary would be told to get a condom on it but thats my choice i would rather be 3/5 times more safe than not xx "

You could slap that under some peoples noses and they wouldn't change their ways.

Nothing is ever totally safe for anyone. Some people think they are playing safe and wham!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest i dont really give a shit!! its none of my business what anyone does. they adults they have the information, they make up their mind to the risk, they do as they see fit the same as i do with mine i couldnt live with myself if i gave someone a dose and if im takin adequate precautions then thats fine with me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"after seein blue waffle that was the seal on the deal!!imagine goin to the doctor with that!!

people only tell you what you want to hear, and even a monk comin out the monastary would be told to get a condom on it but thats my choice i would rather be 3/5 times more safe than not xx "

Did I ever tell you about my monk and monastry fantasy? I had not got as far as the condoms with it but they would definitely feature

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