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The death Of common sense an obituary

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Probably copied from sodding bookface - but I like it!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think he's alive and well in the pages of the Daily Maul, Di'ly Express and UKIP manifesto.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably copied from sodding bookface - but I like it!

A"

I would love to say it was my own work but no it was copied. But i thought this might be a good place to share

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

fuck em he's only 2words

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Probably copied from sodding bookface - but I like it!

A

I would love to say it was my own work but no it was copied. But i thought this might be a good place to share "

Should be compulsory reading for all!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Notice how common sense was a HE!!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Too 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' for my taste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Common sense will be sorely missed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Too 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' for my taste "

Anarchist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Too 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' for my taste "

You can just sense the phrases "why oh why oh why" and "it's political correctness gone mad" hovering unsaid in the air can't you?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Too 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' for my taste

You can just sense the phrases "why oh why oh why" and "it's political correctness gone mad" hovering unsaid in the air can't you? "

Damn right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing the right wing Mail readers of the site must all be away on holiday (probably in a foreign country too, but only one that serves Carling and steak n chips so it's not too foreign) as usually they are all over this sort of shiz.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"I'm guessing the right wing Mail readers of the site must all be away on holiday (probably in a foreign country too, but only one that serves Carling and steak n chips so it's not too foreign) as usually they are all over this sort of shiz. "

Nah. Read this one many times before, and it always attracts similar comments from the lefties. So not worth the bother.

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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago

around


"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

"

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