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Degrees of betrayal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would be interested to hear how the good Forumites would rank the transgressions below in terms of their effect on a relationship.

PLEASE; just place the numbers in the order you see them as damaging a relationship. Basically put down first the most damaging and then the rest in order with the last being the least damaging.

It would help a lot if there is no dialogue.

1. Physical and/or mental abuse.

2. Excessive alcoholic drinking

3. Constant nagging

4. Constant jealousy

5. Gamboling away the family finances.

6. Having sex with another person without spouses agreement.

7. Committing a crime that leads to a custodial sentence.

8. Being a closet Transvestite.

9. Constant humiliation of the spouse before others

AND NO, this is not some Adelaide University survey. Just it would be interesting to see how these are placed.

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

In my opinion all of these are equally damaging to a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see that there are 'degrees of betrayal'

It either is or it isn't.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Well, it depends on the relationship really?

But physical abuse would have to be the worst in my opinion.

And the transvestite thing at the other end of the scale as least worst. It might be deceitful to not be honest about what you like doing but it's nowhere near as bad as the others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In my opinion all of these are equally damaging to a relationship."

Beating up is equal to dressing up? Ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For me constant humiliation is a major issue. Partners should support one another.

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth


"In my opinion all of these are equally damaging to a relationship.

Beating up is equal to dressing up? Ok. "

I see nothing wrong with dressing up, as long as you are open and honest about it with your partner.

Lies and deceit can be as damaging to a relationship as physical abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I guess a couple I'm less worried about

than others.

Closet cross-dressing would not be a serious issue for me if it came to light.

A custodial sentence, depends what it is and whether I assume guilt.

I don't have a monogamous marriage so sex without telling me....... not bothered about the sex, if he's not telling me because he's in love with someone else we clearly have a problem. The lying aspect?? I might struggle with that.

I see the others as more serious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1

9

5

2

7

3

4

6

4

8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that the OP is getting mixed up with betrayal of trust and secretive behaviour.

Its all about degree founding out your loving partner likes to dress in your clothes is not a trust issue. Sleeping with half the population of fab without your partner being aware is warranting of a Judas ward?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My guess is that we're supposed to say that number 6 is fine and all the rest are really really bad.

Is that right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think that the OP is getting mixed up with betrayal of trust and secretive behaviour.

Its all about degree founding out your loving partner likes to dress in your clothes is not a trust issue. Sleeping with half the population of fab without your partner being aware is warranting of a Judas ward?"

Perhaps the title is not right? I was hoping to see how people rank these potentially damaging types of behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My guess is that we're supposed to say that number 6 is fine and all the rest are really really bad.

Is that right? "

Nope, but Is that what you think?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

All will be detrimental to a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My guess is that we're supposed to say that number 6 is fine and all the rest are really really bad.

Is that right?

Nope, but Is that what you think?"

Nope.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

it will vary from relationship to relationship ...i have slept with dozens of men whilst swinging with my partners full consent...he has slept with one other woman in 15 years with my consent ...not double standards ..just what works for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would be interested to hear how the good Forumites would rank the transgressions below in terms of their effect on a relationship.

PLEASE; just place the numbers in the order you see them as damaging a relationship. Basically put down first the most damaging and then the rest in order with the last being the least damaging.

It would help a lot if there is no dialogue.

1. Physical and/or mental abuse.

2. Excessive alcoholic drinking

3. Constant nagging

4. Constant jealousy

5. Gamboling away the family finances.

6. Having sex with another person without spouses agreement.

7. Committing a crime that leads to a custodial sentence.

8. Being a closet Transvestite.

9. Constant humiliation of the spouse before others

AND NO, this is not some Adelaide University survey. Just it would be interesting to see how these are placed.

"

This is my order of importance :

1

7

5

2

9

6

3

4

8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some pretty 'damaging' ones on that list...some more than others. Lies/secretiveness/betrayal ... not good. Shows disregard for other person and total lack of respect.

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