FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Slightly on edge

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm working in a job I hate, I'm trying to teach something to someone who doesn't want to be taught, at the same time as fixing ongoing problems.........

I need Haribo, fast. I mean I need to pound a pack of those bad boys like I'm nailling a rohypnolled Ryan Reynolds. Quickly before they realise I'm having them.

So I make my excuses and head to the nearest Poundland (1 of 2 in this lovely city) where there is a display of Haribos beautiful enough to make me weep and the teeth fall out of my head in anticipation of the gummy goodness.

Except I cannot get to said display.

It is eclipsed by the massive que of angry, harrassed, belligerent parents and their mewling hellspawn, because apparently its half term or something and the done thing is to hang around Poundland and fuck with my sweet buying activities.

I cannot get in that que. Not with my rising blood pressure. It'll be like setting off a timebomb of ginger fury in their midst. I'll be ramming packets of value instant noodles down their necks and kicking them out into the street for the ever present evil seagull overlords of this burgh to peck them to death.

Or strangling them with cheap plastic wristbands that say PEACE on them in a murderous display of irony.

So I tried the other store. Fuck me if they haven't had a cunts committee meeting and got there in front of me fucking Truman Show style.

So I've had to leave. Empty handed. You know that bit in Avengers Assemble when Bruce Banner just instantly turns into the Hulk and punches fuck out of a monster?

Like that. But with beautiful fingernails.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

would a jammy dodger help ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"would a jammy dodger help ?"

Like patching a cracked dam with blu tack.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I've never heard Swansea described so perfectly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

damn you should have said earlier I work near the factory

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you mean you don't have emergency Haribo stashed ???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"you mean you don't have emergency Haribo stashed ???"

There is no such thing as an emergency Haribo stash!

It's either in the shop or being eaten.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ong-legged-divaTV/TS
over a year ago

Fleetwood

Absolutely first class ranting, nearly pissed myself laughing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

I feel your pain. Work in London, where on the tubes it's standard protocol to stop and chat at the top or bottom of escalators. To wait until they get to the arch way onto the platform and then stopping in the middle not giving two shits about the hundreds of people behind them....and my personal favourite.. The people that stand infront of the door of the train when you want to get off and then tut you when the only option left to you is to barge past... Thanks rant over.xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"you mean you don't have emergency Haribo stashed ???

There is no such thing as an emergency Haribo stash!

It's either in the shop or being eaten. "

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Crisis averted. Bought a pack of wine gums from co-op at twice the price with zero queing.

Poor things barely made it out of the shop. It was a slaughter, they never saw it coming.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats nothing !!!! Try buying a paper in W fucking H Smiths ???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats nothing !!!! Try buying a paper in W fucking H Smiths ???"

Here we go again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haribos are banned in my house

I'm a mother and still can't handle going into town on the school holidays so I get this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Stands on her chair, whoops like an American and applauds this rant

Also pops off to hide her blackjacks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thats nothing !!!! Try buying a paper in W fucking H Smiths ???"

WH Smiths.....no I dont want a copy of the telegraph with my pint of milk, if I wanted something shit with my tea I'd actually prefer to eat shit than read the telegraph. Shit is more palateable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"I'm working in a job I hate, I'm trying to teach something to someone who doesn't want to be taught, at the same time as fixing ongoing problems.........

I need Haribo, fast. I mean I need to pound a pack of those bad boys like I'm nailling a rohypnolled Ryan Reynolds. Quickly before they realise I'm having them.

So I make my excuses and head to the nearest Poundland (1 of 2 in this lovely city) where there is a display of Haribos beautiful enough to make me weep and the teeth fall out of my head in anticipation of the gummy goodness.

Except I cannot get to said display.

It is eclipsed by the massive que of angry, harrassed, belligerent parents and their mewling hellspawn, because apparently its half term or something and the done thing is to hang around Poundland and fuck with my sweet buying activities.

I cannot get in that que. Not with my rising blood pressure. It'll be like setting off a timebomb of ginger fury in their midst. I'll be ramming packets of value instant noodles down their necks and kicking them out into the street for the ever present evil seagull overlords of this burgh to peck them to death.

Or strangling them with cheap plastic wristbands that say PEACE on them in a murderous display of irony.

So I tried the other store. Fuck me if they haven't had a cunts committee meeting and got there in front of me fucking Truman Show style.

So I've had to leave. Empty handed. You know that bit in Avengers Assemble when Bruce Banner just instantly turns into the Hulk and punches fuck out of a monster?

Like that. But with beautiful fingernails. "

PMT times ten!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Ah Jodie, as ever you bring a smile to my face x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive got a whole tub of haribo, just saying. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ive got a whole tub of haribo, just saying. Xx "

I know south wales well, I shall hunt thee down and take them from you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and breathe ............. in ... and out, in ... and out, in ... did you save any? or did you buy more than one packet for the next crisis ... I'm only asking cos I need to know whether to stay online waiting for the next rant ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No, one packet at a time. Or as indicated earlier they magically disappear.

I am now at peace. I did an hour of body combat and shadow boxed the living piss out of some fools.

Now feel much better.

Until tomorrow.........

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stopped at a MacDonalds today for a wee and a coffee - then realised it was half term!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

But, I'm only jealous really! my kids are grown now, and have left me! Yes, my cooking was that bad x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top