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Black Adder III, Episode 1

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sounds a familiar script:

http://www.suslik.org/Humour/FilmOrTV/BlackAdder/ba3-1.html

If you can be bothered post your favourite quotes from this political episode

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Edmund: Sir Talbot represented the constituency of Dunny-on-the-Wold, and, by an extraordinary stroke of luck, it is a rotten borough.

George: Really! Is it! Well, lucky-lucky us. Lucky-lucky-luck. (as a chicken) Luck-luck-LAKK-LAKK-LAKK-LAKK-cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck-LAKK-LAKK-LAKK.

Edmund: You don't know what a rotten borough is, do you, sir.

George: No.

Edmund: So what was the chicken impression in aid of?

George: Well, I just didn't want to hurt your feelings. Erm, so, what is a robber button?

Edmund: *Rotten borough*.

George: Oh, yes, you're right.

Edmund: A rotten borough, sir, is a constituency where the owner of the land corruptly controls the both the voters and the MP.

George: Good, yes...and a robber button is...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

E: However, if we are to get him to support us, he will need some sort of incentive.

G: Hmm. Anything in mind?

E: Well, you could appoint him a High Court judge...

G: Is he qualified?

E: He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.

G: Sounds a bit *over*qualified... Well, send him here at once!

And this:

E: Right. Now all we have to do is fill in this MP application form. Name:

`Baldrick'. First name...?

B: Er, I'm not sure.

E: Well, you must have some idea...

B: Well, it might be `Sod off'.

E: What?

B: Well, when I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other

snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick," and they'd say, "Yes, we know.Sod off, Baldrick."

And this other cracker:

G: I say, Blackadder, are you sure this is the PM? Seems like a bit of an oily tick to me. When I was at school, we used to line up four or five of his sort, make them bend over, and use them as a toastrack.

P: You don't surprise me, sir -- I know your sort. Once, it was I who stood

in the big, cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame.

Since that day, I have been busy, every hour God sends, working to become

Prime Minister and fight sloth and privilege wherever I found it.

E: I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet...

Arguably the best chapter of the comedic Blackadder saga next to the fourth one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

H: Quite. Now; Ivor Biggun, no votes at all for the Standing-At-The-Back-

Dressed-Stupidly-And-Looking-Stupid Party. Are you disappointed?

I: Ah, no, not really, no... I always say, "If you can't laugh, what *can*

you do?" Ha-ha-ha-ha (squirts Hanna with flower).

H: ...take up politics, perhaps. Has your party got any policies?

I: Oh yes, certainly! We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at break-

fast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery.

H: Now, you see, many moderate people would respect your stand on asparagus,

but what about this extremist nonsense about abolishing slavery?

I: Oh, we just put that in for a joke! See you next year!

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