FabSwingers.com forum: If you were being cheated on, would you want to know?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think i would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Yes I would so I can invest my precious time in more worthy areas than in someone disrespecting me.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Yes....

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By *he TrunkMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It would break my heart if my wife had an affair, but I don't think she ever would, she is a very special lady

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

Yes

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Yes so I could kick the person to the kerb

And I wouldn't blink an eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course . No-one likes being lied to and made a fool of.

I think I would die of heartbreak if Jools cheated on me. She is everything to me, we been together for almost 30 years and I still go d her the most amazing sexy woman. There is a world of difference between swinging and cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is weird one its not the act of two people hsving sex I feel is the problem its the lying and the deceit surrounding it I have a problem with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm...tricky one! yes and no at the same time. Depends on the situation. If he was having a full blown affair behind my back then yes i'd want to know so I could leave him! if he had a one night stand and felt so bad that he'd never do it again, then probably not. "

This

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I think i would "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes. from previous experience, id rather someone told me. but that's just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have and I did find out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was faced by my other half saying I needed to know and was mistake etc think you can work from that its finding out its been going on months I dont think there is much hope then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would "

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I would absolutely want to know! I have a loathing for liers and wouldn't think twice about kicking the person to the kerb . Not going to waste a single second on a person who's cheated on me. They made their choice and ill make mine not to have them in my life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

never actually met the guy, was just online banter some sexual some 'wish i could spoon you n kiss your forehead' kinda stuff

went on for over a year, always believed him to be single. not overly gutted that he's not, just disappointed he never told me from the start.

Just got me thinking of his gf,, 'if i was her, would i want to know'..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/14 13:15:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone cheated on me once

Had an ace up their sleeve to beat my two pairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was cheated on and ended the relationship eventually. I couldn't forgive or live with the betrayal. Broke my heart

but time heals!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

That's low. Sorry to hear that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes would want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

That's low. Sorry to hear that."

Thanks I still see them there both in there teens I don't blame them just there mom my eldest want to come and live with me there both welcome to after all I've reased them from babes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even though it would my heart I would want to know if I was being cheated on, my time is precious to me and I wouldn't want it wasted on someone that clearly didn't respect or want to be with me... Got much better things to do with my time

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Yes I would so I can invest my precious time in more worthy areas than in someone disrespecting me."

This.

Thing is it's not the sex that would bother me it would be the lying and deceit that enabled the cheating to take place.

He'd have to go!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Cheating is weird one its not the act of two people hsving sex I feel is the problem its the lying and the deceit surrounding it I have a problem with"

Indeed!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating is weird one its not the act of two people hsving sex I feel is the problem its the lying and the deceit surrounding it I have a problem with"

it was the lies that I couldn't cope with. I absolutely hate being lied to and he knew that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no.

i have had it done, and it only hurt when i found out.

up until that point i was happily living in blissful ignorance.

even though lieing is the devils spunk, and honesty is all well and good, but when it hurts someone its not a good thing at all.

its just best not to cheat in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

probably not.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

id take it personally that I didn't satisfy him

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'd want to know now.

Back when I was younger, I refused to believe my boyfriend was cheating on me, everyone was telling me he was, my best friend, my family. Refused to believe it. We were both working behind a bar at the time, the head bouncer dragged me into the office to make me watch CCTV where my boyfriend was fucking some girl against the fire escape.

The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"id take it personally that I didn't satisfy him "

So would i but there will always be someone better looking or more interesting than you, if they get it handed to them on a plate do you expect them to say no, not that many would.

i dont think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had it done to me, and no it was not nice to hear but I'm glad now that I found out. We were engaged four beautiful kids, the two youngest mine and one of them was only 5 months old at the time. It's the lies, deception, the betrayal and most of all being taken for a fool. Was better to find out how little I meant and our kids lives meant before we had gotten married. As soon as it came out I left her and the next door neighbour she was shagging left her to crawl back to his wife. Worth it? I don't think so.

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Cheating is not an "accident" falling off a bike is an accident , you don't just trip and fall into a vagina or get impaled onto a Penis...

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Ps... Crochet hooks are handy when ya need em!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would "

DEFINITELY! !! would want to know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I would, unless it was an emotional attachment, then it is best in the open because she may be entirely unhappy and I would t want that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to say yes...I would definitely want to know. But then reading your post, you DO have a point. However....I have to wonder what would have driven him into the arms of another if only for one night. Does it say something about our relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes x

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

"I just had it done to me, and no it was not nice to hear but I'm glad now that I found out. We were engaged four beautiful kids, the two youngest mine and one of them was only 5 months old at the time. It's the lies, deception, the betrayal and most of all being taken for a fool. Was better to find out how little I meant and our kids lives meant before we had gotten married. As soon as it came out I left her and the next door neighbour she was shagging left her to crawl back to his wife. Worth it? I don't think so. "
sorry to hear that and i thought us women get the raw deal from the cheating men ,been there and it still hurts x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have been cheated on three times. The first time I didn't know until he told me he was getting married to her the next day.

The second time I told him he was cheating on me and he insisted he wasn't but he admitted it in the end. She was the right person for him as they are still together 18 years on.

The third time I told him and he denied it three times before admitting it and that's how I went from a couple's profile to a single on here.

I don't care who they have sex with but I do care about lies. Monogamy and fidelity are not the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"id take it personally that I didn't satisfy him

So would i but there will always be someone better looking or more interesting than you, if they get it handed to them on a plate do you expect them to say no, not that many would.

i dont think."

I wonder that too. I think that generally speaking, when it comes to sex and relationships, women are more emotionally driven than men. I think a lot of men see sex as just a physical release and therefore I agree that a lot would not be able to say no if the offer was there. A rather depressing thought that no matter how fabulous I am, if a woman more fabulous walks along and offers it to him....he is likely to say yes if he thinks he can get away with it.

Happy to be proved wrong but sadly. ..I dont think I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been cheated on three times. The first time I didn't know until he told me he was getting married to her the next day.

The second time I told him he was cheating on me and he insisted he wasn't but he admitted it in the end. She was the right person for him as they are still together 18 years on.

The third time I told him and he denied it three times before admitting it and that's how I went from a couple's profile to a single on here.

I don't care who they have sex with but I do care about lies. Monogamy and fidelity are not the same.

Its the lying and deceit that bothers me most as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes,

It's happened to us both in the past,

that's one of the reasons we didn't swing until we were very settled and secure in our marriage

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've never knowingly had anyone cheat on me. I could easily forgive a one night stand but nothing long-term . as others have said, its not the sex but the lies and deceit.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Sex happens. We all get tempted by something at some time. Some are stronger at resisting temptation than others. It's when they keep doing it you have to worry, I think, because it's a habit then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd want to know now.

The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!

I am sorry to hear that. It must have been traumatic to see it. But those bouncers obviously really cared about you to do that because they knew it would hurt you but it was the only way to get you to believe the truth about him so you didnt continue to be decieved like that. What a horrid boyfriend! Hope you are with someone who deserves you now. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex happens. We all get tempted by something at some time. Some are stronger at resisting temptation than others. It's when they keep doing it you have to worry, I think, because it's a habit then.

Its an interesting point I admit. However....I would struggle to hear about even a one night stand as it was behind my back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, personally. If someone starts cheating on you in a relationship, then the foundation of it was not solid in the first place. There would be no need to cheat, be it virtually or in real life if that bind was there initially.

You'd find out sooner or later anyway. I'd rather know so i can focus my time on someone worthy of it. Hence, i don't do relationships - if i say 'your mine and that i love ya' then that's that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I've been in the position of knowing and not knowing , I would prefer to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In just amazed at the lies some guys come out with on here to cover up the fact they are cheating.

I have been both the cheater and the cheated so yes I would want to know.

To add to that I have no issues with what people do as long as I know and can make my own mind up.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If I was cheated on more than once by different guys I would start to question where I was going wrong in relationships that they felt the need to cheat all the while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could forgive indiscretions, I attach no value to the act of having sex so it's not insurmountable to me. It's putting an organ in another organ. I'm not sure therefore lying or deceit in regards to one night stands is possible for us. I know about the women my husband has slept with and I trust him with my life so can't see him lying.

A full-blown affair based on love I don't think I could handle, that's a different scenario.

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

"I'd want to know now.

The bouncers had to hold me down after that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have to clarify my post, if only for myself.

im not saying iwould be happy living with someone who was shagging behind my back.

quite the contrary, its very hard for someone to cover their tracks, especially a woman, when they come home wetter than normal or feel looser and so on.

however, i would much rather the relationship just end and them say we just arent working, than tell me they had been shagging someone.

i would much rather live with the fact we werent compatible in general than think im shit in bed as well as being a shit partner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would want to know so I could boot the cheating barstood out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely would want to know so I could plot my revenge!

Mrs. Shy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!"

A lot my life fell apart x

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Yes, definitely.

I've had it done to me by a couple of ex-girlfriends (once with my best mate) and it wasn't at all nice. All the same, I'm glad it came out so I could move on and get on with my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!

A lot my life fell apart x"

Fucking hell that's callous, so sorry mate. We're not all like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a relationship I was in got to the stage where one of us was being deceitful in any way, not just affairs, we would seriously question whether the relationship should continue

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I would want to know but my reaction may be different depending on the intent of the person telling me. If it was pure concern then yes I'd want them to tell me and would be thankful that they told me.

If it was to try and force my partner into their arms then I would be grateful that they told me but angry that they only did it for personal gain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I was cheated on. This site was the catalyst for it. I found out.

I was not a happy bunny!

But the best revenge - is living well.

Would I want to know? Absolutely.

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"Yes. I was cheated on. This site was the catalyst for it. I found out.

I was not a happy bunny!

But the best revenge - is living well.

Would I want to know? Absolutely."

Been there! Same thing.

Tried joint swinging for a while, but was still being lied to.

Still, I'm on here now, enjoying life more than I ever did with her, so I thank her for introducing me to Fabs! Lol!

And I would have preferred to know - the day I found out made me feel sick.

But I would never judge anyone that is on here behind their partner's back, as I don't know the reasons or background for the decision to be here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think i would

A big fat YES I would my fat cow of an ex cheated on me and I found out that my kids arnt my kids there his

Wow! Can't begin to imagine how much that hurt!

A lot my life fell apart x

Fucking hell that's callous, so sorry mate. We're not all like that."

I know and thanks x I've just stared to see somone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would just so I could really do what I want to without having to muck about. Also he would then realise that men do like me enough to meet me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. Swinging is one thing, cheating is another. We agreed our 'rules' before entering this wonderful world so if either of us ever saw another person without clearing it with the other first then, unfortunate as it may be, it would be unforgivable

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If I was cheated on more than once by different guys I would start to question where I was going wrong in relationships that they felt the need to cheat all the while

I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Now I use that to my advantage and don't have relationships with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would and its a question I asked my ex to which he admitted to

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