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Can you choose to be attracted to someone or do you have no choice?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances?

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Iv posibly more real female friend than male an I do mean just friends but iv felt an atracshen in an instant and over time from getting to know them so no my opinion is its not a choice thing it just happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.

however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.

however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love"

Are we talking physical or mental attraction?

If so - with physical then yes it's more of a choice - with mental it's more of an innate, spontaneous thing.

There's plenty of people I've initially been physically attracted to (personal choice due to preferences re looks - but that can change and is often down to the individual) that I've subsequently thought were twats (my inner voice shouting 'arsehole alert' in my ear!! )

So I think attraction can be a question of both choice and a natural occurrence.

A

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.

"

this!!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.

this!!"

Il 2nd 3rd and 4th that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think attraction is a process that can be triggered in different ways. For instance on here it could be a mental trigger created by a post that resonates with my sensibilities or challenges my thinking and assumptions. Alternatively it might be a picture that makes me think 'phwoarr' or 'how lovely'. Those triggers may lead into conversations that may deepen the attraction or reduce or kill it all together. Meeting the person for real can do the same. All the way through the process there are both 'automatic' responses and choices being made. So I guess my conclusion is both

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

No I don't think you can choose, attraction is complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree to my regret this week you can't help being attracted by someone it is built into us it's wether you do anything about it sometimes better to have a cold shower a deep breath and forget about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can certainly lower your standards and see if your dick plays along. Not that it always will.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely..."

Now theres a nice botty iv not seen before

Sorry op couldn't help myself carry on lol

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"I would agree with a lot of posters on this. For me, if there is no mental attraction then the physical one disappears and a mental attraction often leads to a physical one. Choosing to act on the attraction is another thing entirely..."

And couldn't agree more by the way spot on reply x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No I don't think you can choose, attraction is complicated."

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

cock he say no

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Yes I think we have the ability to choose .I don't think every person we find attractive or not is 100 percent innate some eliments are nurtured indoctrination x

There are indeed genetic absolutes but also cultural grey scale xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has choices

I'm Attracted to a gentleman on here, his good looking and funny.... However his attached

So I control my attraction towards him - we chat but I won't meet him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I get to choose it, just happens when someone fits the criteria I know I like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Initially you don't but as you get to know someone you can choose not to be attracted to someone or more to the point put off by things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances?"

OP. Did you used to be called shallow hal on here?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can know somebody is attractive. But I don't necessarily fancy them. A lot of it is down to chemical reactions according to the sciency types.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)


"you havent any choice in who you are attracted to.

the choice comes in whether you act upon that attraction or not.

however, there is a world of difference between attraction and love

Are we talking physical or mental attraction?

If so - with physical then yes it's more of a choice - with mental it's more of an innate, spontaneous thing.

There's plenty of people I've initially been physically attracted to (personal choice due to preferences re looks - but that can change and is often down to the individual) that I've subsequently thought were twats (my inner voice shouting 'arsehole alert' in my ear!! )

So I think attraction can be a question of both choice and a natural occurrence.

A"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally am not so sure if you do have a choice as you become attracted to someone before you get to know them. Can you then choose not to be attracted if they are attached or some other circumstances?"

You do Ron Ron you do Ron Ron

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