FabSwingers.com forum: bdsm

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I realise this is a swingers site but more and more people seem to want to add the D's dynamic to their swing play. I get alot of people asking me questions and l am happy to answer those queries but perhaps this site could provide a forum listing for people who wish to discuss this dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has been suggested, considered by admin but declined at the moment x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The need for to have its own little board has been discussed before but for lots of different reasons fab don't feel there is a need for one. I for one wish they would x

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Most threads get turned into me flirting with someone so I don't see why having a new forum will help this. It will be just more threads for me to flirt on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I realise this is a swingers site but more and more people seem to want to add the D's dynamic to their swing play. I get alot of people asking me questions and l am happy to answer those queries but perhaps this site could provide a forum listing for people who wish to discuss this dynamic."

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has been suggested, considered by admin but declined at the moment x

Thats because it s a swingers site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has been suggested, considered by admin but declined at the moment x

Thats because it s a swingers site "

I know I actually concur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

How's it unfair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

So you're not allowed to be a swinger and into bdsm.

Damn gonna have to rewrite my profile

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

Why is it unfair? There are lots of topics that don't interest me, so I simply ignore them or cover my ears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it

How's it unfair? "

Dunno but it makes the bdsm section on her profile kinda funny. As well as the on a journey of sexual exploration bit.

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

BDSM? i preferred TISWAS

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'd rather we not have little sub-forums for this and that. I learn so much more by us all being together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While there is a crossover between between the 2 scenes I do think there is no need to have a separate subsection. There was a thread on here at the weekend where someone asked about a Domme and at least one response was just totally belittling of the man posting the question. And to often threads on here go down that route.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if people are not interested in it, its their choice but shouldn't it be a discuss all site, and down to preference if you choose to look at it.

Just a thought

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

this dynamic.

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

You don't have to read them. The listing is a library of interests and are able to be filtered by people who either wish or not wish to read them. It is a suggestion and no need to make the post a personal attack to imply people who have an added interest included in swinging should be made unwelcome. Go and google indeed. Most unfriendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BDSM? i preferred TISWAS

That doesn't even make sense.

But does offer a perfect example to my previous post that discussing kink on here is often futile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

Do you know what Swingers are?

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it

Do you know what Swingers are?

"
. . . the two ball shaped things knocking together between my legs when i walk ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it "

If that is the case why does the preference list include 'SM'?

I am not trying to be confrontation but I am confused to the reasons to allow SM as a swinger preference but seemingly to not allow it to be a topic of discussion.

Having reviewed some forum posts about BDSM it would seem there is an issue with it within the swinger community, has it become a 'them and us' scenario?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having reviewed some forum posts about BDSM it would seem there is an issue with it within the swinger community, has it become a 'them and us' scenario?"

It hasn't become it. That attitude is common on both scenes, looking down on the other as somehow inferior and from what I understand has always been the case. If anything I think things are improving with couples rooms at some fet clubs and dungeons at swinging clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having reviewed some forum posts about BDSM it would seem there is an issue with it within the swinger community, has it become a 'them and us' scenario?

I must just be very lucky then to not have seen it that much, or I must just stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalalala

I know quite a few fetish swingers (hence why I came to this site) and I ran a fet/swing crossover event for about 6 months and everyone had fun so it might just be different in different locations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont put us all in boxes! Swinging AND bdsm wouldn't be so taboo if it wasn't for outlooks like that. Live and let live

who would bother reading posts that dont interest them anyway?!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

we're all grown ups so maybe there should be a section. Having said that, simply because of the play that is involved, on occasion there can be a lot of risk involved. I'd think if you want to discuss it or meet up with people then that's you own decision. Doing it yourself would leave control in your hands - either raising topics or finding people.

If it was the other way round - it could become easily open to abuse or derogatory comments/topics. Just going by the risks of potential play meets, it's just as simple to find people/topics as the site stands?

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

was brilliant with ant &Dec but went downhill when Stephen mullhern took over x x X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a Swingers Site , there are BDSM sites , google them , I think its unfair to the Swingers here to have to listen to it

How's it unfair?

Dunno but it makes the bdsm section on her profile kinda funny. As well as the on a journey of sexual exploration bit.

And also the bit where she says she isn't a swinger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@fabswingers on naughty twitter today requested ideas from fab users as they are looking for new projects to improve the site.

I suggested a designated forum for BDSM/Fetish. As there are a high number of swingers who are also interested in that side of lifestyle on differing levels.

If your not interested in that avenue of fun, know one would be forcing you to look at a forum of that type.

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

I just wish a lot of people would grow up and stop being nasty or dismissive of others interests.

If you dont like a subject dont read threads about it, simples and if you are so flipping easily offended what on earth are you doing on a site like this anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads "

and judging by the recent popularity of a certain series of books (something to do with 50 somethings) BDSM maybe far more popular than some would acknowledge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

and judging by the recent popularity of a certain series of books (something to do with 50 somethings) BDSM maybe far more popular than some would acknowledge.

Or a lot of blokes who read some fiction and thought oooh i can be a Dominant all i have to do is wear a certain coloured shirt and hang around a college to pick up naive young girls...zzzz

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

and judging by the recent popularity of a certain series of books (something to do with 50 somethings) BDSM maybe far more popular than some would acknowledge.

Or a lot of blokes who read some fiction and thought oooh i can be a Dominant all i have to do is wear a certain coloured shirt and hang around a college to pick up naive young girls...zzzz"

have some blokes read it then? I just thought it was mummy soft porn. I was just citing its apparent popularity as a example of how BDSM may be far more popular than given credit for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/14 23:51:38]

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

There is a site where you can discuss BDSM matters so not needed here,you can have discussions with people if you wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

and judging by the recent popularity of a certain series of books (something to do with 50 somethings) BDSM maybe far more popular than some would acknowledge.

Or a lot of blokes who read some fiction and thought oooh i can be a Dominant all i have to do is wear a certain coloured shirt and hang around a college to pick up naive young girls...zzzz

have some blokes read it then? I just thought it was mummy soft porn. I was just citing its apparent popularity as a example of how BDSM may be far more popular than given credit for.

I know quite a few blokes who have read at least the first one..and you are right about the Mummy porn, Written by a woman who has never had the experience or researched the subject, She actually based it on a certain popular television series about vampires, cant remember the name because i dont watch Tv lol

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

"There is a site where you can discuss BDSM matters so not needed here,you can have discussions with people if you wish "

Yes. Just had a quick look down the thread list on page one, it seems there are posts about annoying neighbours, football, animal welfare (copenhagen zoo), music. None of which have much to do with swinging. Actually i dont like football much, so i think I will go read that, get offended and then post that there are websites setup to discuss football elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish a lot of people would grow up and stop being nasty or dismissive of others interests.

If you dont like a subject dont read threads about it, simples and if you are so flipping easily offended what on earth are you doing on a site like this anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish a lot of people would grow up and stop being nasty or dismissive of others interests.

If you dont like a subject dont read threads about it, simples and if you are so flipping easily offended what on earth are you doing on a site like this anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/14 00:29:06]

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By *issyyourbadWoman
over a year ago

Dorset

Well you see its what you want out of sex if you want boring meet strip fuck then vanilla is best but I like to be kept on a sexual high for hours or even days.yes days my master knows how I tick. Yeah shock horror I said master . yes I am a sub and I fucking love it.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Well you see its what you want out of sex if you want boring meet strip fuck then vanilla is best but I like to be kept on a sexual high for hours or even days.yes days my master knows how I tick. Yeah shock horror I said master . yes I am a sub and I fucking love it.

pmfsl.

look at my pics before you make judgements too maybe??????? How is what YOU want sexually got anything to do with what is permitted or going to be permitted on the site. There are specific sites available and bdsm topics are verrrrrry far reaching.

I dont see what you're not getting, maybe step out of the closet and consider opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

The question was for a forum for BDSM topics. Seen as BDSM regularly revolves around kidnap, rape play, forced sex, scat, torture, to name just a few 'popular tones'. I think its pretty sensible (from many angles) to keep it to dedicated sites. It's far and wide away from gendered sex and actually has nothing to do with it. "

Those are pretty fringe even in bdsm sites.

And are more just pkain s&m role play than d/s which tends to be a more involved relationship ship

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmfsl.

I dont see what you're not getting, maybe step out of the closet and consider opinion.

Oh the irony someone telling not to make rash judgements doing exactly that without knowing what someone else really wants.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 26/03/14 00:46:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

Oh, forgot to ask, "gendered sex" is that as in one man, one woman, no funny stuff sex? You have a good point, people like me are an aberration from what is acceptable too i guess. Put us up against the wall

Who let all this riff raff into the site

Wanders off muttering about narrow minded bigots....... would have thought on a swingers site the word tolerance might have been a bit more widespread.

Wrong in my opinion swingers can be the most judgemental people on the planet, hell even my priest isn't as bad as some.

Errr not all though I would agree there is less tolerance of others than in life in general.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

Those are pretty fringe even in bdsm sites.

And are more just pkain s&m role play than d/s which tends to be a more involved relationship ship"

nevertheless they are topics that would constantly come up.. and I have only mentioned a few - to try to give reason why the forum was rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday.

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By *issyyourbadWoman
over a year ago

Dorset

Why can't we discuss anything bdsm surely its a free country if you don't like a discussion you don't have to involve yourself if this was purely a swinger site which it isn't as when you join lists of likes are including kinky

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Frankly, having read through reams of banal shite about birthdays, food, politics and god knows what else that might reasonably be considered unfair for anyone without a lobotomy to tolerate, I'm astonished this is even an issue here.

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. "
Monocles are back in fashion you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

Those are pretty fringe even in bdsm sites.

And are more just pkain s&m role play than d/s which tends to be a more involved relationship ship

nevertheless they are topics that would constantly come up.. and I have only mentioned a few - to try to give reason why the forum was rejected. "

No they wouldn't as the forum would be under the same rules as the rest of the forum.

We occasionally get rape fantasy threads but they're quickly dealt with already. The rape fantasy one is actually a very vanilla and common one according to surveys. Very high up in most lists.

Bdsm however doesn't tend to involve rape that much due to the nature of it being more Co tool being given away rather than forcibly taken

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

According to monocle manufacturers perchance?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

According to monocle manufacturers perchance?

"
Vogue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why can't we discuss anything bdsm surely its a free country if you don't like a discussion you don't have to involve yourself if this was purely a swinger site which it isn't as when you join lists of likes are including kinky "

You can as long as it is within the parameters of the rules and that's for the site owners and admin to decide not some self righteous individual or individuals who think they can impose their views on others no matter how much they think they can.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Frankly, having read through reams of banal shite about birthdays, food, politics and god knows what else that might reasonably be considered unfair for anyone without a lobotomy to tolerate, I'm astonished this is even an issue here.

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

Ahhh the usual "anyone who doesn't like what I like is a prude" comment.

Some things never change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

Indeed the only problem is I have to wear two unless I put a contact lens in the other eye it takes a lot of concentration and really throws off my aim.

Might have to get a baguette and a segway and just hack at them as I zoom by

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

Indeed the only problem is I have to wear two unless I put a contact lens in the other eye it takes a lot of concentration and really throws off my aim.

Might have to get a baguette and a segway and just hack at them as I zoom by"
Are you fond of T suits as well?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

According to monocle manufacturers perchance?

Vogue.

Well then it must be true

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

According to monocle manufacturers perchance?

Vogue.

Well then it must be true

"
Exfuckingactly

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

Indeed the only problem is I have to wear two unless I put a contact lens in the other eye it takes a lot of concentration and really throws off my aim.

Might have to get a baguette and a segway and just hack at them as I zoom byAre you fond of T suits as well?

My dear what do you take me for a country bumpkin!

Only the finest tuxedo and cummerbund for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense. "

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

Ahhh the usual "anyone who doesn't like what I like is a prude" comment.

Some things never change

Like people reading what someone posts!

Oh the irony

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol"

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why does one thing have to be "better" than another?

How else would people get to be smugly superior?

This is why I wear my top hat and monocle and throw stale bread rolls at the plebs on a Sunday. Monocles are back in fashion you know.

Indeed the only problem is I have to wear two unless I put a contact lens in the other eye it takes a lot of concentration and really throws off my aim.

Might have to get a baguette and a segway and just hack at them as I zoom byAre you fond of T suits as well?

My dear what do you take me for a country bumpkin!

Only the finest tuxedo and cummerbund for me."
Gentlemen come in all shapes and sizes...and No I am not referring to the fat/curvy thread

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

Those are pretty fringe even in bdsm sites.

And are more just pkain s&m role play than d/s which tends to be a more involved relationship ship

nevertheless they are topics that would constantly come up.. and I have only mentioned a few - to try to give reason why the forum was rejected. "

1. You took the extremes of BDSM as several others have pointed out, its a bit like a green politician wanting to ban cars because some sports cars go very fast and have very very high emissions. Bad politics, balanced view is always best.

2. "It's far and wide away from gendered sex" - not quite sure how else I was meant to read that part other than male/female hetrosexual sex is right, anything that deviates is wrong. But then im open minded enough to feel that you are perfectly entitled to your opinion.

3. Whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/14 01:02:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!"

Eh?

No some people are saying they don't want any bdsm chat.

Are you reading a different thread to the rest of us?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"Its all about sex, BDSM is a sexual activity the same as bisexuality, Lesbionism, Homosexiality..etc etc.

If there had to be different sections i would vote for the "whats on TV and what i had for dinner posts

Mr Crossroads

Those are pretty fringe even in bdsm sites.

And are more just pkain s&m role play than d/s which tends to be a more involved relationship ship

nevertheless they are topics that would constantly come up.. and I have only mentioned a few - to try to give reason why the forum was rejected.

3. Whatever.

sorry I couldnt be with you tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!"

That's like the general public saying all swingers are out to break up marriages and lure married people into licit sex with strangers. You are desperately scrabbling for the most extreme examples in a vain attempt to prove a mythical point. I would go look for unicorns dude you are more likely to find one.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!

Eh?

No some people are saying they don't want any bdsm chat.

Are you reading a different thread to the rest of us?"

and I have given reasons as to why they might not. Are you reading my posts? lol

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

Ahhh the usual "anyone who doesn't like what I like is a prude" comment.

Some things never change

Like people reading what someone posts!

Oh the irony

What I read is that anyone who doesn't want to read threads on BDSM is a prude.

Kind of a generalisation.

Like I said, some things don't change.

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By *issyyourbadWoman
over a year ago

Dorset

Agree with Amy 100%

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!

Eh?

No some people are saying they don't want any bdsm chat.

Are you reading a different thread to the rest of us?

and I have given reasons as to why they might not. Are you reading my posts? lol"

But those reasons don't make sense as we already have bdsm chat here that's fine.

Justifying why it shouldn't be allowed by making up posts that don't exist isn't really an argument.

It's a strawman.

Or to put it in layman's terms, bollocks.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"Like I said, some things don't change."

Repetition!!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol"

The only people who say what can and can't be discussed are the admins who set the rules and the mods who apply them.

The opinion of admin seems to be that all but the very tamest BDSM chat is not appropriate here.

I don't have a problem with that. There are other places for those sorts of discussions.

My only niggle is that we're not allowed to mention other websites designed for the discussion of things not suited to here. It'd help to be able to redirect people to more appropriate sites when they ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

Ahhh the usual "anyone who doesn't like what I like is a prude" comment.

Some things never change

Like people reading what someone posts!

Oh the irony

What I read is that anyone who doesn't want to read threads on BDSM is a prude.

Kind of a generalisation.

Like I said, some things don't change."

Then you read wrongly again! you missed the bit about us all being consenting adults also there was no accusation of all people who don't want to read BDSM threads are prudes. Read back that's you reading what you want into a comment rather than it actually being there. the op clearly states "if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do" do they not? The facts are some people who don't like a subject may not like it others who still don't like a subject may not be prudish its you who has assumed this. Personally I would put money on the first paragraph about inane subjects rattled you more but you put your teeth into the word prude for some reason.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

But those reasons don't make sense as we already have bdsm chat here that's fine.

Justifying why it shouldn't be allowed by making up posts that don't exist isn't really an argument.

It's a strawman.

Or to put it in layman's terms, bollocks. "

I was responding to someone saying it should be an open door policy essentially. I couldnt give a fuck whats discussed so long as its legal. I think you have the wrong end of my stick there.

If you read anything I have written you will notice suggestions of mine of what BDSM topics COULD lead to. Not what I have witnessed people posting. You are arguing a point that I havent said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance. "

and that would be all of your intellect showing there would it?

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Are we not all consenting adults here?...

Seriously, if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do, on not to do, rather.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

And, anyway, what's wrong with scat ... I love Ella Fitzgerald.

Ahhh the usual "anyone who doesn't like what I like is a prude" comment.

Some things never change

Like people reading what someone posts!

Oh the irony

What I read is that anyone who doesn't want to read threads on BDSM is a prude.

Kind of a generalisation.

Like I said, some things don't change.

Indeed... but then I guess some things don't change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance.

and that would be all of your intellect showing there would it?"

Naa I'm trying to dumb things down to make it easier for you to understand. I wouldn't split my arse from east to west as you seem to going on about blood letting in one comment then not being bothered about things as long as they are legal. You would fair far better if you simplified your point so you yourself can understand what you are trying to say then you won't come across like a stray running up and down trying to bite every tyre of each motorbike that passed.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

... either that or it was the bit about lobotomies - I can see it might be a touchy subject for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the feeling so one didn't let off the choke collar in the last round of asphyxiation play quite soon enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... either that or it was the bit about lobotomies - I can see it might be a touchy subject for some.

I have to say I didn't like the bit about lobotomies much but the inane thread bit did make me smile as some are inane but some are also humorously inane.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Then you read wrongly again! you missed the bit about us all being consenting adults also there was no accusation of all people who don't want to read BDSM threads are prudes. Read back that's you reading what you want into a comment rather than it actually being there. the op clearly states "if you don't want to be offended by discussions of BDSM then guess what you have the right to do" do they not? The facts are some people who don't like a subject may not like it others who still don't like a subject may not be prudish its you who has assumed this. Personally I would put money on the first paragraph about inane subjects rattled you more but you put your teeth into the word prude for some reason.

No, I didn't miss the bit about us being consenting adults. I also didn't miss the bit that labels those not consenting as "prudes".

The following quite clearly suggests anyone not wanting to discuss BDSM is a prude. It's intended as an insult to anyone who doesn't want to discuss BDSM.

" Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation."

There are other places for BDSM, if people want to talk about it, they can go there. This place cannot be all things to all people and shouldn't be expected to be.

I, personally, am into BDSM but I wouldn't want anyone uncomfortable with it to be forced to read about it, so I take it elsewhere. It's simple enough.

What's the next rant going to be? Why can't I buy shoes in a bakery? You want shoes, go to a shoe shop. Don't try to change the bakery. A lot of people are probably quite happy with it and don't want shoes sold there.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I'm offended by the word "forum"... it reminds me of the word "furry".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I didn't miss the bit about us being consenting adults. I also didn't miss the bit that labels those not consenting as "prudes".

The following quite clearly suggests anyone not wanting to discuss BDSM is a prude. It's intended as an insult to anyone who doesn't want to discuss BDSM.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

There are other places for BDSM, if people want to talk about it, they can go there. This place cannot be all things to all people and shouldn't be expected to be.

I, personally, am into BDSM but I wouldn't want anyone uncomfortable with it to be forced to read about it, so I take it elsewhere. It's simple enough.

There are other places to discuss food, shoes and all the banal shite if we are going to be pedantic. You really need to read more and get the jest of what people say and stop making up what you think/wanted them to have said in your head.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance.

and that would be all of your intellect showing there would it?

so.... a fundamentally flawed stance (that you dont understand) = a misinterpretation of mythical points and blood letting culminating in you climbing out of your tree splitting your arse?

I'll avoid the extreme examples and Unicorns then (thanks for the tip), it'll make it much easier to narrate a load of crap about something you dont get.

(Cor I have just been schooled in forum posting)

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"What's the next rant going to be? Why can't I buy shoes in a bakery? You want shoes, go to a shoe shop. Don't try to change the bakery. A lot of people are probably quite happy with it and don't want shoes sold there."

Clearly, you've had a traumatic experience whilst ordering a choux pastry - my deepest sympathies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance.

and that would be all of your intellect showing there would it?

so.... a fundamentally flawed stance (that you dont understand) = a misinterpretation of mythical points and blood letting culminating in you climbing out of your tree splitting your arse?

I'll avoid the extreme examples and Unicorns then (thanks for the tip), it'll make it much easier to narrate a load of crap about something you dont get.

(Cor I have just been schooled in forum posting)

Im not going back to "The cat sat on the mat" simplification don't ask don't even go there! If you want to go to extremes on a subject then you go for it. It lacks consistency and a point you contradict yourself on multiple occasions but at the end of the day it matters little admin say what goes and don't as it should be.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

on a rating of 1 - 10, 11 being the highest, how many drinks have you not had tonight? As you seem to be a little befuddled at people having opinion here. (You could keep bashing on though and put those white socks on like a boss in the morning)

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

what mythical point - as you have lost me entirely

Im not really surprised I can see you are struggling to make a valid point it can't be easy to try to vind validation for a fundamentally flawed stance.

and that would be all of your intellect showing there would it?

so.... a fundamentally flawed stance (that you dont understand) = a misinterpretation of mythical points and blood letting culminating in you climbing out of your tree splitting your arse?

I'll avoid the extreme examples and Unicorns then (thanks for the tip), it'll make it much easier to narrate a load of crap about something you dont get.

(Cor I have just been schooled in forum posting)

life is full of extremes, yr a shining example

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I think we've reached reductio ad absurdum.

I'm going to go try teach the cat to fly again. 9th time lucky....

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"And I think we've reached reductio ad absurdum.

I'm going to go try teach the cat to fly again. 9th time lucky...."

I'm pretty sure we reached that point at post #5

PS. would you like to borrow a trebuchet?

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

... as long as I get to kidnap, fuck, torture and shit on it, that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... as long as I get to kidnap, fuck, torture and shit on it, that is.

See this is why kitty needs to learn to fly, keep him away from the bad bdsm people

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

And therein lies the problem....I've just removed loads posts all quoting certain bdsm 'tones' none of which are allowed on the site. Unless Admin significantly change site rules (and I think that's highly unlikely) then a bdsm forum is on a hiding to nothing.

And can those of you having a little bicker give it a rest please. Thank ya kindly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can discuss what you like luv. No one is saying you cant

and kinky can be fluffy handcuffs or a naughty outfit. It'd be a surprise to wander into a forum on blood letting for mr average vanilla wouldnt it. Have some sense.

Yes they are that's what people are arguing about lol. Some people are saying r hey do t want bdsm chat on here. Read the tread lol

you are saying most of the people on here are into blood letting? I have missed something huge!!!!!!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Clearly, you've had a traumatic experience whilst ordering a choux pastry - my deepest sympathies.

No, there's nothing traumatic in either cakes or shoes. The opposite in fact, as they are both therapeutic.

The point though, that there are places for both things, so use the appropriate one.

Having a childish "Anyone who doesn't like what I like is a (insert insult here)" is both silly and pointless. The site owner doesn't want BDSM to be a part of this site.

We can accept that or go elsewhere. It's as simple as that.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

No, I didn't miss the bit about us being consenting adults. I also didn't miss the bit that labels those not consenting as "prudes".

The following quite clearly suggests anyone not wanting to discuss BDSM is a prude. It's intended as an insult to anyone who doesn't want to discuss BDSM.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

There are other places for BDSM, if people want to talk about it, they can go there. This place cannot be all things to all people and shouldn't be expected to be.

I, personally, am into BDSM but I wouldn't want anyone uncomfortable with it to be forced to read about it, so I take it elsewhere. It's simple enough.

Discussing food, shoes and "banal" stuff is partly what makes this a social site rather than just a hook-up site. That's why The Lounge is here.

If you want to avoid the "banal" stuff and talk exclusively about shagging, avoid The Lounge. That would seem to fit in with your "if you don't like it, don't read it" preaching. Or does that just apply to the things you like but other people don't?

As for what was said, the words are there and quite clear so everyone can make up their own minds. Maybe you are actually reading different words to me. Or maybe you are the one reading what you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A place to discuss things would be great.

But as is often shown, some people are incapable of discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I didn't miss the bit about us being consenting adults. I also didn't miss the bit that labels those not consenting as "prudes".

The following quite clearly suggests anyone not wanting to discuss BDSM is a prude. It's intended as an insult to anyone who doesn't want to discuss BDSM.

Maybe a separate dedicated section is just what's needed to avoid upsetting any prudes accidentally stumbling into the conversation.

There are other places for BDSM, if people want to talk about it, they can go there. This place cannot be all things to all people and shouldn't be expected to be.

I, personally, am into BDSM but I wouldn't want anyone uncomfortable with it to be forced to read about it, so I take it elsewhere. It's simple enough.

This

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

A place to discuss things would be great.

But as is often shown, some people are incapable of discussion."

As I understand it, admin are concerned about the potential legal connotations of allowing BDSM to be discussed, and photos displayed here. With the current vagueness about the legality of such matters and where the boundaries are drawn, I can understand that.

I can see admin not wanting to be dragged into any investigation that might result. Some might consider it a minimal risk, but it's not their risk.

Plus, can you imagine the fallout of the next media exposé if we had a BDSM board here too? We're all amoral sinners who are going to hell now. Imagine if we were perverted, deviant amoral sinners!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/14 08:41:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PLEASE NOTE PREVIOUS POST DELETED DUE TO SOME HORRENDOUS SPELLING ERRORS

-----------------------

Wow this topic has been busy over night

As I read the posts I thought to myself I need to reply, someone on the internet is wrong, so here goes:

Extreme BDSM: Yes it does exist but as someone who frequents BDSM sites this is not the majority of conversation, that is usually people talking about what they had for dinner, which movie they had seen, which events they are going to, you know, the same banal stuff that is talked about on here lol

Consent: One of the major under riding principles of BDSM is consent, consent from all those participating in an action that they all agree to take part and understand what is happening, strangely enough just like it is in the swinger scene

Where there is any talk about force it is always within the area of consent, some people enjoy forceful sex and some enjoy roleplay where they are being taken advantage of but all of it is with consent, if not then someone is committing a crime. Forced sex roleplay is the same as someone dressing up as a busty milkmaid and the lusty landlord, people acting out roles for their own sexual pleasure.

50SOG: This to the BDSM world is like a tabloid newspaper doing an article on swingers and classing them all as disease ridden perverts hell bent on destroying marriage, it is done to make money. The idea that all male dominants are mentally unstable and that all female submissives are naively drawn into a world of depraved sex is ridiculous, but they did get the fact we are all young multimillionaires correct

A separate BDSM topic area: I don't think it is needed because it would mean further enforcing this 'them and us' attitude that seems to waft thought both scenes. I like sex with rope and control, you might like sex in a car park over a bonnet or at a hotel with lots of other people but at the end of the day it is all sex, however you package it. I don't read threads about football or looking for VWE men as I either am not interested or can't meet the criteria (I am crap at football) but that doesn't mean they should be sectioned off. Can't we just talk about sex in all its various forms and read what interests us and skip that which doesn't.

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

"PLEASE NOTE PREVIOUS POST DELETED DUE TO SOME HORRENDOUS SPELLING ERRORS

-----------------------

Wow this topic has been busy over night

As I read the posts I thought to myself I need to reply, someone on the internet is wrong, so here goes:

thankyou

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