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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've recently taken possession of a possessed crystal set that can answer all your queries.

Ask anything you like and I shall commune across the ether with this crystal set and let you know the answer to the imponderables of life

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

A radio?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"A radio?

"

Gaga.

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By *lappyMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Whats tonight lottery numbers

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By *WStockingtopsCouple
over a year ago

bristol

Why is the defence of Bristol City FC so crap ?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Whats tonight lottery numbers "

They range from 1 to 49.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Why is the defence of Bristol City FC so crap ?"

Lack of trenches and barbed wire. A few Vickers guns dug in would deter the casual striker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the meaning of life?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

42 ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What came first the chicken or the egg?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What is the meaning of life? "

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What came first the chicken or the egg?"

KFC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

and

how many more frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince?

pretty please, miss tina.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't I get a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

will i ever fall in lurveee?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

and

how many more frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince?

pretty please, miss tina. "

If a wood chuck could get wood, he would be on here with a sky remote next to his wood.

You are mistaken in kissing frogs, unless it is Baron Silas Greenback, in which case you get a hot date with Stiletto

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Why can't I get a meet "

You need to wear something suggestive to visit the butchers counter, this will aid you in jumping the queue

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"will i ever fall in lurveee? "

Yes you shall, when d*unk. You will be fished out, but will have to go home for a bath and change of clothes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tina

Here's our queries

Why can't we get a meet?

When can we give up work?

When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?

Regard

Lucy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why can't I get a meet

You need to wear something suggestive to visit the butchers counter, this will aid you in jumping the queue "

Knew I was going wrong somewhere thanks Tina

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Tina

Here's our queries

Why can't we get a meet?

When can we give up work?

When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?

Regard

Lucy x "

You need to change the wallpaper in your lounge.

You shan't need to give up work, you will set up your own trapeze troop long before it becomes a question. However, this will result in your incarceration in Haiti following a bizarre twist in a diamond heist.

You may never win the Euro Millions, but will be occasionally successful in pulling Christmas Crackers, but not too successful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What will go wrong next with my Range Rover after having the current problem of the universal joints on the propshaft replaced

Disgruntled Range Rover owner

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

How come every time I have gone out today it has rained and turned my hair frizzy and when I come back in the sun comes out?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What will go wrong next with my Range Rover after having the current problem of the universal joints on the propshaft replaced

Disgruntled Range Rover owner "

You will leave it parked next to a Grand Piano show room. There will be an unlikely accident featuring the YTS lad, a hoist, a 4 ton lorry, a banana skin and a girl with nice boobies walking by.

You will be most put out when you make your insurance claim and the chap on the end of the phone won't believe he isn't on local radio.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do people who abuse their partners have a hard time in the afterlife?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"How come every time I have gone out today it has rained and turned my hair frizzy and when I come back in the sun comes out?"

You have gone too long without indulging in a Thursday rant. This is the cosmos restoring balance. Avoid upturned plugs.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

Is their eny reel peeps ere an doo they reelly meat or r they orl timewaisters???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tina

Here's our queries

Why can't we get a meet?

When can we give up work?

When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?

Regard

Lucy x

You need to change the wallpaper in your lounge.

We don't have any wallpaper in our lounge

You shan't need to give up work, you will set up your own trapeze troop long before it becomes a question. However, this will result in your incarceration in Haiti following a bizarre twist in a diamond heist.

So I'm going to live in the Caribbean and have lots of diamonds?

You may never win the Euro Millions, but will be occasionally successful in pulling Christmas Crackers, but not too successful.

The jokes are always terrible in Christmas crackers

"

Thanks Tina

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Do people who abuse their partners have a hard time in the afterlife? "

They do not reach the afterlife. They are stuck in purgatory. They are in Meadowhall, looking for a leopard print dress with a stretchy front and only have 20 minutes before the shops close.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What will go wrong next with my Range Rover after having the current problem of the universal joints on the propshaft replaced

Disgruntled Range Rover owner

You will leave it parked next to a Grand Piano show room. There will be an unlikely accident featuring the YTS lad, a hoist, a 4 ton lorry, a banana skin and a girl with nice boobies walking by.

You will be most put out when you make your insurance claim and the chap on the end of the phone won't believe he isn't on local radio. "

Thanks mystic Tina, I look forward to the event and make sure my insurance is protected no claims

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By *WStockingtopsCouple
over a year ago

bristol


"Why is the defence of Bristol City FC so crap ?

Lack of trenches and barbed wire. A few Vickers guns dug in would deter the casual striker. "

i shall email the manager right now

thanks

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Is their eny reel peeps ere an doo they reelly meat or r they orl timewaisters???"

Thy true personages within this abode be on thy Platinum Membership and only meet those who know the secret code.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"Do people who abuse their partners have a hard time in the afterlife?

They do not reach the afterlife. They are stuck in purgatory. They are in Meadowhall, looking for a leopard print dress with a stretchy front and only have 20 minutes before the shops close. "

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

"

Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity.

Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity.

Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock "

Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

and

how many more frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince?

pretty please, miss tina.

If a wood chuck could get wood, he would be on here with a sky remote next to his wood.

You are mistaken in kissing frogs, unless it is Baron Silas Greenback, in which case you get a hot date with Stiletto "

off to search the site for woodchucks with sky remotes

and thank you, Tina, i knew i was going wrong somewhere

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity.

Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock

Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.

"

That's jolt I'd be willing to try!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity.

Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock

Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.

That's jolt I'd be willing to try! "

When the tour takes me to the seaside with no sea.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina?

Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity.

Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock

Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.

That's jolt I'd be willing to try!

When the tour takes me to the seaside with no sea.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When will I see him again?

When will we share precious moments?

Will I have to wait forever?

Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"When will I see him again?

When will we share precious moments?

Will I have to wait forever?

Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

"

It's a bit of a gamble, but by altering your thermostat by Three Degrees you will bring this moment closer and also more rodents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what hurts more ...giving birth or being kicked in the balls ? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will stoke beat the villa tomorrow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is using an ultra violet hair dye a wise choice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When will I see him again?

When will we share precious moments?

Will I have to wait forever?

Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

It's a bit of a gamble, but by altering your thermostat by Three Degrees you will bring this moment closer and also more rodents. "

But when will our hearts beat together?

Are we in love or just friends?

Is this our beginning or is this the end?

And when will the rodents move out?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"what hurts more ...giving birth or being kicked in the balls ? x"

Being kicked in the balls obviously, as whilst giving birth is painful, after a couple of years a lady may wish to have another one, whereas only masochists decide its been a while and they would like another kick in the nuts.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Will stoke beat the villa tomorrow?"

They may have a stroke, but it won't be over anything vanilla.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Is using an ultra violet hair dye a wise choice? "

It will be spectacular and I would recommend going clubbing soon after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is using an ultra violet hair dye a wise choice?

It will be spectacular and I would recommend going clubbing soon after. "

my head will glow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will united beat Bayern?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Will united beat Bayern? "

Only if they go on the pitch with cricket bats and wield them vigorously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

will Tina ever come to the San Francisco Bay Area? and if so when

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"will Tina ever come to the San Francisco Bay Area? and if so when"

It is unclear, but if I do I shall wear flowers in my hair. Unless I've upset a baker, when I shall just wear flour.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"will Tina ever come to the San Francisco Bay Area? and if so when

It is unclear, but if I do I shall wear flowers in my hair. Unless I've upset a baker, when I shall just wear flour. "

You ought to visit Nob Hill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "

Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!!

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.

Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!! "

We can take a wall out and erect some tiered seating

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

Dear Tina,

My fella has had a vasectomy this week. When will I get a shag?

From frustrated fem

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Dear Tina,

My fella has had a vasectomy this week. When will I get a shag?

From frustrated fem "

Within 2 hours of going on meet today.

In the meantime, the voice across the ether recommends using his face as a comfy seat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just applied for a really good job...any chance I will get it? Ta muchly x

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Just applied for a really good job...any chance I will get it? Ta muchly x "

Please see above answer ref going on meet today and getting 'it' within two hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "

Make um big uns with kinky desires

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh Tina of the Titz please ask the enchanted crystal set where my leather gloves with fur cuffs are. Last seen on Bexhill seafront.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.

Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!! "

I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands


"Dear Tina,

My fella has had a vasectomy this week. When will I get a shag?

From frustrated fem

Within 2 hours of going on meet today.

In the meantime, the voice across the ether recommends using his face as a comfy seat "

Thanks Tina! Watch this space..

Or I might get him to take me down't club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.

Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!!

I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it "

Ok.... Will save it so we can all 'moth' him together!! XxX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.

Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!!

I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it

Ok.... Will save it so we can all 'moth' him together!! XxX "

Be back in an hour

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I like Toshn from Hull. I expect he has a rough accent though.

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By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago

where's my other sock?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Oh Tina of the Titz please ask the enchanted crystal set where my leather gloves with fur cuffs are. Last seen on Bexhill seafront."

Belgium, after being swept out to see. However, the Belgian who found them is very grateful, if that is any consolation

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"where's my other sock?

"

Currently on facebook on someone's cock, doing its bit for charity

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Oh Tina of the Titz please ask the enchanted crystal set where my leather gloves with fur cuffs are. Last seen on Bexhill seafront.

Belgium, after being swept out to see. However, the Belgian who found them is very grateful, if that is any consolation "

Frankly Tina it is not, a grateful Belgian won't keep my hands warm in a stylish manner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/03/14 21:35:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Tina Titz

Please ask the magic crystals why I was stupid enough to poke myself in the eye, making it red and swollen, just as I got my nomination for a no makeup selfie

And for those wishing to begin the Toshn bashing....I'm back

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X

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By *tuxxvMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Dear Tina Titz

Please ask the magic crystals why I was stupid enough to poke myself in the eye, making it red and swollen, just as I got my nomination for a no makeup selfie

And for those wishing to begin the Toshn bashing....I'm back "

It is karma giving you a poke for the Toshn bashing, even though that is a laudable pursuit.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X"

It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ???? "

Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????

Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site. "

Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better

I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????

Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site.

Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better

I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!! "

See how poorly I am, I didn't mean to quote the previous post!

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

How does milk get into coconuts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sitting at a family wedding... Chuckling out loud at all of these and loving Tina to bits. How do I explain these rand giggles to my family....?????? xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sitting at a family wedding... Chuckling out loud at all of these and loving Tina to bits. How do I explain these rand giggles to my family....?????? xxx"

Make that random giggles....!!!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Why do we spell it four and fourteen but spell forty as forty?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????

Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site.

Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better

I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!! "

Your spine is fine, it is just protesting at not being able to view your boobs, as it is on the wrong side. Arrange a few mirrors and all shall be well.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"How does milk get into coconuts?"

It involves an invisible floating cow with an cordless drill and a tube and a huge conspiracy with the chaps at Bounty

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Sitting at a family wedding... Chuckling out loud at all of these and loving Tina to bits. How do I explain these rand giggles to my family....?????? xxx

Make that random giggles....!!!!! "

You cover your embarrassment by just explaining that you have a remote love egg inserted and that the groom is having a good night. No one will query your laughter again

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It's currently a fine, blowy day. Am I safe to excavate the laundry hamper and wash the lot or will it start to rain as soon as I have got the last load in the washer?

And why the flip am I wide awake and doing chores after only two hours sleep?!

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Why do we spell it four and fourteen but spell forty as forty?"

In one of the unpublished later verses of the celebrated nursery rhyme, a blackbird makes off with the U from 40

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"It's currently a fine, blowy day. Am I safe to excavate the laundry hamper and wash the lot or will it start to rain as soon as I have got the last load in the washer?

And why the flip am I wide awake and doing chores after only two hours sleep?! "

It is only safe if you possess a snow shovel and grit. You are wide awake now simply so you can nod on the sofa this afternoon, missing the blizzard covering your laundry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will I get lost on the way to Shoeburyness today?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Will I get lost on the way to Shoeburyness today? "

The ether says to take a massive ball of string with you, but give the bread crumbs a miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will I get lost on the way to Shoeburyness today?

The ether says to take a massive ball of string with you, but give the bread crumbs a miss "

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers?"

That was Esrel Sunburst of California.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers?

That was Esrel Sunburst of California. "

What would be suitable retribution?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers?

That was Esrel Sunburst of California.

What would be suitable retribution?"

His name be changed by deed poll. To Esrel Wanker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lunch consisted of a marmite sandwich and pickled onions

Will my breath smell ??

Also anyone fancy a snog ?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Lunch consisted of a marmite sandwich and pickled onions

Will my breath smell ??

Also anyone fancy a snog ? "

It may have an aroma, but no one will mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "

Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer

The same fate

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"Lunch consisted of a marmite sandwich and pickled onions

Will my breath smell ??

Also anyone fancy a snog ? "

I'm game as long as you don't burp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer

The same fate "

It lives....!!

It lives....!!

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"What came first the chicken or the egg?"

The egg. There were egg laying creatures long before there were chickens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is the meaning of life?

To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer

The same fate

It lives....!!

It lives....!!

"

its dead as a dead thing thats dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is tumble dryer fluff always blue? ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What time will dinner be ??

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Why is tumble dryer fluff always blue? ? "

The colour washes off of the tiny smurfs who live in the back of the washer and do all of the hard work. The gubbins at the front is just for show.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What time will dinner be ?? "

You will next be fed properly when you are on a meet and the gent feeds you pudding

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Is this the way to Amarillo?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Is this the way to Amarillo?"

No, there is a rather rum one way system ahead, but I'd recommend you get your skates on as Sweet Marie is waiting for you.

Unfortunately she looks like Quasimodo, but does get her name from the toffee shop she runs.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

How many roads must a man walk down before people call him a man?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"How many roads must a man walk down before people call him a man? "

4

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"How many roads must a man walk down before people call him a man? "

It depends if they are in a rather fetching blouse or not.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from "

A d*unken night in Kenya with a group of Rhinos who were on a stag weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

A d*unken night in Kenya with a group of Rhinos who were on a stag weekend "

lol Explains my constant 'horn' x

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys


"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X

It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming. "

I wonder if I tell him where the crystals are he will let me have the bag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long can a man live off his reputation has a moth slayer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from "

We're aliens

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X

It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming.

I wonder if I tell him where the crystals are he will let me have the bag?"

You are too late, he has lost the bag, but this is not uncommon, as he often has a lot of trouble finding things.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"How long can a man live off his reputation has a moth slayer "

This is the type of epic event of which heroes are made. The answer is thousands of years. The Iliad originally just involved some Greek chap popping out for the paper one Sunday morning and look what happened there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What time will dinner be ??

You will next be fed properly when you are on a meet and the gent feeds you pudding "

Really ?? Got to wait till the 7 may ? Good job I have some fat in reserve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Tina,

I've recently started feeling I need a man in my life. Not just a plaything I have my fun with and discard like a Bazooka Joe wrapper, but someone I can give all this up for. What's wrong with me??

yours petrified

Badnanna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How long can a man live off his reputation has a moth slayer

This is the type of epic event of which heroes are made. The answer is thousands of years. The Iliad originally just involved some Greek chap popping out for the paper one Sunday morning and look what happened there "

Oh good

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Dear Tina,

I've recently started feeling I need a man in my life. Not just a plaything I have my fun with and discard like a Bazooka Joe wrapper, but someone I can give all this up for. What's wrong with me??

yours petrified

Badnanna "

Do not worry, this is just a phase you are going through. It affects most teenagers. As you grow older and develop in wisdom you will grow out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

We're aliens "

lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

We're aliens

lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!"

lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Tina.

Why does buttered toast always land butter side down when you drop it? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

We're aliens

lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!

lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me! "

but bizarrely enough I do have an extra vertebrae

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Hi Tina.

Why does buttered toast always land butter side down when you drop it? Xx"

Many people think it is to do with balance and aerodynamics. It is not. It is to do with life being a bastard first thing in the morning.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong? "

Ramases II in a spot of idle time between getting planning permission for his next pyramid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from

We're aliens

lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!

lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me!

but bizarrely enough I do have an extra vertebrae "

really? That is strange. How can I count mine ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does housework ever end Tina!!

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By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago

dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Does housework ever end Tina!! "

Yes, however, your appearance on the Hoarder next door begins, in its' place

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word?"

No, it is Grease.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock


"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word?

No, it is Grease. "

Does it really have groove and meaning?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word?

No, it is Grease.

Does it really have groove and meaning? "

Unfortunately not, just move and gleaming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will humanity ever reach a consensus on marmite?

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

[Removed by poster at 24/03/14 00:31:13]

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

Does a mars a day help you work rest and play?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Will humanity ever reach a consensus on marmite?"

Yes, but it will be 0.0000002 seconds before the Sun goes Supernova and no one will think to leave a note.

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Does a mars a day help you work rest and play? "

Yes, but other Roman Gods are also available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the best way to look big and clever on here?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"What's the best way to look big and clever on here? "

To slay a moth

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

Bugger!!! I thought you said lay a moth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bugger!!! I thought you said lay a moth. "

Maybe that's what he did....????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you the fallen Madonna with the big boobies?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Are you the fallen Madonna with the big boobies? "

No, I believe she lives in Kent. However, I don't mind spending 5 minutes of my time with my head sticking out of a piano doing a bit of exposition at the start of every episode of Fab

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By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago

on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true?"

Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi Tina.

Why does buttered toast always land butter side down when you drop it? Xx

Many people think it is to do with balance and aerodynamics. It is not. It is to do with life being a bastard first thing in the morning.

"

Thank you. Pmsl. Xx

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By *its_n_piecesCouple
over a year ago


"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true?

Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance "

so it's not actually the real thing?

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By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true?

Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance

so it's not actually the real thing? "

Not for them it wasn't.

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