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"A radio? " Gaga. | |||
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"Whats tonight lottery numbers " They range from 1 to 49. | |||
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"Why is the defence of Bristol City FC so crap ?" Lack of trenches and barbed wire. A few Vickers guns dug in would deter the casual striker. | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? " To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. | |||
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"What came first the chicken or the egg?" KFC | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. " | |||
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"how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? and how many more frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince? pretty please, miss tina. "If a wood chuck could get wood, he would be on here with a sky remote next to his wood. You are mistaken in kissing frogs, unless it is Baron Silas Greenback, in which case you get a hot date with Stiletto | |||
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"Why can't I get a meet "You need to wear something suggestive to visit the butchers counter, this will aid you in jumping the queue | |||
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"will i ever fall in lurveee? " Yes you shall, when d*unk. You will be fished out, but will have to go home for a bath and change of clothes. | |||
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Why can't we get a meet?
When can we give up work?
When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?
Regard
Lucy x | |||
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"Why can't I get a meet
You need to wear something suggestive to visit the butchers counter, this will aid you in jumping the queue "Knew I was going wrong somewhere thanks Tina  | |||
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"Tina Here's our queries
Why can't we get a meet?
When can we give up work?
When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?
Regard
Lucy x "You need to change the wallpaper in your lounge. You shan't need to give up work, you will set up your own trapeze troop long before it becomes a question. However, this will result in your incarceration in Haiti following a bizarre twist in a diamond heist. You may never win the Euro Millions, but will be occasionally successful in pulling Christmas Crackers, but not too successful. | |||
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"What will go wrong next with my Range Rover after having the current problem of the universal joints on the propshaft replaced Disgruntled Range Rover owner " You will leave it parked next to a Grand Piano show room. There will be an unlikely accident featuring the YTS lad, a hoist, a 4 ton lorry, a banana skin and a girl with nice boobies walking by. You will be most put out when you make your insurance claim and the chap on the end of the phone won't believe he isn't on local radio. | |||
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"How come every time I have gone out today it has rained and turned my hair frizzy and when I come back in the sun comes out?" You have gone too long without indulging in a Thursday rant. This is the cosmos restoring balance. Avoid upturned plugs. | |||
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"Tina Here's our queries
Why can't we get a meet?
When can we give up work?
When will we win the big euro millions jackpot?
Regard
Lucy x
You need to change the wallpaper in your lounge.
We don't have any wallpaper in our lounge 
You shan't need to give up work, you will set up your own trapeze troop long before it becomes a question. However, this will result in your incarceration in Haiti following a bizarre twist in a diamond heist.
So I'm going to live in the Caribbean and have lots of diamonds?
You may never win the Euro Millions, but will be occasionally successful in pulling Christmas Crackers, but not too successful.
The jokes are always terrible in Christmas crackers
"Thanks Tina | |||
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"Do people who abuse their partners have a hard time in the afterlife? " They do not reach the afterlife. They are stuck in purgatory. They are in Meadowhall, looking for a leopard print dress with a stretchy front and only have 20 minutes before the shops close. | |||
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"What will go wrong next with my Range Rover after having the current problem of the universal joints on the propshaft replaced Disgruntled Range Rover owner You will leave it parked next to a Grand Piano show room. There will be an unlikely accident featuring the YTS lad, a hoist, a 4 ton lorry, a banana skin and a girl with nice boobies walking by. You will be most put out when you make your insurance claim and the chap on the end of the phone won't believe he isn't on local radio. "Thanks mystic Tina, I look forward to the event and make sure my insurance is protected no claims | |||
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"Why is the defence of Bristol City FC so crap ? Lack of trenches and barbed wire. A few Vickers guns dug in would deter the casual striker. "i shall email the manager right now thanks | |||
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"Is their eny reel peeps ere an doo they reelly meat or r they orl timewaisters???" Thy true personages within this abode be on thy Platinum Membership and only meet those who know the secret code. | |||
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"Do people who abuse their partners have a hard time in the afterlife? They do not reach the afterlife. They are stuck in purgatory. They are in Meadowhall, looking for a leopard print dress with a stretchy front and only have 20 minutes before the shops close. " | |||
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"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina? " Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity. Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock | |||
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"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina? Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity. Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock "Dynamo - Lickety Impossible. | |||
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"how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? and how many more frogs do i have to kiss to find my prince? pretty please, miss tina.
If a wood chuck could get wood, he would be on here with a sky remote next to his wood.
You are mistaken in kissing frogs, unless it is Baron Silas Greenback, in which case you get a hot date with Stiletto " off to search the site for woodchucks with sky remotes
and thank you, Tina, i knew i was going wrong somewhere  | |||
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"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina? Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity. Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock
Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.
"That's jolt I'd be willing to try! | |||
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"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina? Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity. Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock
Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.
That's jolt I'd be willing to try! "When the tour takes me to the seaside with no sea. | |||
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"I've got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control... on my right side. What do I do Tina? Turn off the mains and plug everything into yourself. You can save a fortune on electricity. Also you can have a lot of fun touching railings and watching people get a shock
Dynamo - Lickety Impossible.
That's jolt I'd be willing to try!
When the tour takes me to the seaside with no sea.
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"When will I see him again? When will we share precious moments? Will I have to wait forever? Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through? " It's a bit of a gamble, but by altering your thermostat by Three Degrees you will bring this moment closer and also more rodents. | |||
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"When will I see him again? When will we share precious moments? Will I have to wait forever? Will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through? It's a bit of a gamble, but by altering your thermostat by Three Degrees you will bring this moment closer and also more rodents. "But when will our hearts beat together? Are we in love or just friends? Is this our beginning or is this the end? And when will the rodents move out? | |||
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"what hurts more ...giving birth or being kicked in the balls ? x" Being kicked in the balls obviously, as whilst giving birth is painful, after a couple of years a lady may wish to have another one, whereas only masochists decide its been a while and they would like another kick in the nuts. | |||
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"Will stoke beat the villa tomorrow?" They may have a stroke, but it won't be over anything vanilla. | |||
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"Is using an ultra violet hair dye a wise choice? " It will be spectacular and I would recommend going clubbing soon after. | |||
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"Is using an ultra violet hair dye a wise choice? It will be spectacular and I would recommend going clubbing soon after. "my head will glow | |||
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"Will united beat Bayern? " Only if they go on the pitch with cricket bats and wield them vigorously. | |||
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"will Tina ever come to the San Francisco Bay Area? and if so when" It is unclear, but if I do I shall wear flowers in my hair. Unless I've upset a baker, when I shall just wear flour. | |||
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"will Tina ever come to the San Francisco Bay Area? and if so when It is unclear, but if I do I shall wear flowers in my hair. Unless I've upset a baker, when I shall just wear flour. "You ought to visit Nob Hill | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!! | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.
Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!! "We can take a wall out and erect some tiered seating | |||
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"Dear Tina, My fella has had a vasectomy this week. When will I get a shag? From frustrated fem "Within 2 hours of going on meet today.
In the meantime, the voice across the ether recommends using his face as a comfy seat | |||
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"Just applied for a really good job...any chance I will get it? Ta muchly x " Please see above answer ref going on meet today and getting 'it' within two hours | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "Make um big uns with kinky desires  | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.
Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!! "I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it | |||
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"Dear Tina, My fella has had a vasectomy this week. When will I get a shag? From frustrated fem
Within 2 hours of going on meet today.
In the meantime, the voice across the ether recommends using his face as a comfy seat "Thanks Tina! Watch this space..
Or I might get him to take me down't club.
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.
Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!!
I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it "Ok.... Will save it so we can all 'moth' him together!! XxX | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode.
Can we all watch while you do?? He's not around tonight as he's 'entertaining' so we can say what we like.......mwahaha!!!!
I have to go out....hold fire on the 'gang up on Toshn' thread I don't want to miss it
Ok.... Will save it so we can all 'moth' him together!! XxX "Be back in an hour | |||
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"Oh Tina of the Titz please ask the enchanted crystal set where my leather gloves with fur cuffs are. Last seen on Bexhill seafront." Belgium, after being swept out to see. However, the Belgian who found them is very grateful, if that is any consolation | |||
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"where's my other sock? " Currently on facebook on someone's cock, doing its bit for charity | |||
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"Oh Tina of the Titz please ask the enchanted crystal set where my leather gloves with fur cuffs are. Last seen on Bexhill seafront. Belgium, after being swept out to see. However, the Belgian who found them is very grateful, if that is any consolation "Frankly Tina it is not, a grateful Belgian won't keep my hands warm in a stylish manner. | |||
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And for those wishing to begin the Toshn bashing....I'm back  | |||
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"Dear Tina Titz Please ask the magic crystals why I was stupid enough to poke myself in the eye, making it red and swollen, just as I got my nomination for a no makeup selfie
And for those wishing to begin the Toshn bashing....I'm back "It is karma giving you a poke for the Toshn bashing, even though that is a laudable pursuit. | |||
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"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X" It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming. | |||
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"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ???? "Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site. | |||
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"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????
Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site. "Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!! | |||
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"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????
Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site.
Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better
I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!! "See how poorly I am, I didn't mean to quote the previous post! | |||
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"Sitting at a family wedding... Chuckling out loud at all of these and loving Tina to bits. How do I explain these rand giggles to my family....?????? xxx" Make that random giggles....!!!!! | |||
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"If Pringles were flat would you get more in the tub ????
Yes, but the more blessed of men would then struggle to use them as a prop when taking photos for this site.
Can you tell me a) what is wrong with my spine and b) when will it be better
I'm on a promise and I don't want him to get bored waiting and enjoy the Moet without me!! "Your spine is fine, it is just protesting at not being able to view your boobs, as it is on the wrong side. Arrange a few mirrors and all shall be well. | |||
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"How does milk get into coconuts?" It involves an invisible floating cow with an cordless drill and a tube and a huge conspiracy with the chaps at Bounty | |||
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"Sitting at a family wedding... Chuckling out loud at all of these and loving Tina to bits. How do I explain these rand giggles to my family....?????? xxx Make that random giggles....!!!!! "You cover your embarrassment by just explaining that you have a remote love egg inserted and that the groom is having a good night. No one will query your laughter again | |||
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"Why do we spell it four and fourteen but spell forty as forty?" In one of the unpublished later verses of the celebrated nursery rhyme, a blackbird makes off with the U from 40 | |||
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"It's currently a fine, blowy day. Am I safe to excavate the laundry hamper and wash the lot or will it start to rain as soon as I have got the last load in the washer? And why the flip am I wide awake and doing chores after only two hours sleep?! "It is only safe if you possess a snow shovel and grit. You are wide awake now simply so you can nod on the sofa this afternoon, missing the blizzard covering your laundry. | |||
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"Will I get lost on the way to Shoeburyness today? " The ether says to take a massive ball of string with you, but give the bread crumbs a miss | |||
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"Will I get lost on the way to Shoeburyness today? The ether says to take a massive ball of string with you, but give the bread crumbs a miss " | |||
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"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers?" That was Esrel Sunburst of California. | |||
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"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers? That was Esrel Sunburst of California. "What would be suitable retribution? | |||
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"Who was the wanker that decided to call marathon bars snickers? That was Esrel Sunburst of California.
What would be suitable retribution?"His name be changed by deed poll. To Esrel Wanker. | |||
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"Lunch consisted of a marmite sandwich and pickled onions Will my breath smell ?? Also anyone fancy a snog ? " It may have an aroma, but no one will mind | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. "Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer The same fate  | |||
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"Lunch consisted of a marmite sandwich and pickled onions Will my breath smell ?? Also anyone fancy a snog ? " I'm game as long as you don't burp | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer
The same fate "It lives....!! It lives....!! | |||
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"What came first the chicken or the egg?" The egg. There were egg laying creatures long before there were chickens. | |||
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"What is the meaning of life? To set free more moths in Toshn's abode. Bring it on . I slayed the king of moths . Any others will suffer
The same fate
It lives....!!
It lives....!!
"its dead as a dead thing thats dead | |||
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"Why is tumble dryer fluff always blue? ? "The colour washes off of the tiny smurfs who live in the back of the washer and do all of the hard work. The gubbins at the front is just for show. | |||
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"What time will dinner be ?? " You will next be fed properly when you are on a meet and the gent feeds you pudding | |||
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"Is this the way to Amarillo?" No, there is a rather rum one way system ahead, but I'd recommend you get your skates on as Sweet Marie is waiting for you. Unfortunately she looks like Quasimodo, but does get her name from the toffee shop she runs. | |||
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"How many roads must a man walk down before people call him a man? " 4 | |||
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"How many roads must a man walk down before people call him a man? " It depends if they are in a rather fetching blouse or not. | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from "A d*unken night in Kenya with a group of Rhinos who were on a stag weekend | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from
A d*unken night in Kenya with a group of Rhinos who were on a stag weekend "lol Explains my constant 'horn' x | |||
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"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming. "I wonder if I tell him where the crystals are he will let me have the bag? | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from "We're aliens | |||
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"Is this the only set of crystal balls? If not where can I acquire some. X It is and they were sent to me by clerical error. Derek Accorah is now wondering what he is going to do with a leopard print handbag that he didn't see coming.
I wonder if I tell him where the crystals are he will let me have the bag?"You are too late, he has lost the bag, but this is not uncommon, as he often has a lot of trouble finding things. | |||
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"How long can a man live off his reputation has a moth slayer "This is the type of epic event of which heroes are made. The answer is thousands of years. The Iliad originally just involved some Greek chap popping out for the paper one Sunday morning and look what happened there | |||
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"What time will dinner be ?? You will next be fed properly when you are on a meet and the gent feeds you pudding "Really ?? Got to wait till the 7 may ? Good job I have some fat in reserve | |||
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"How long can a man live off his reputation has a moth slayer
This is the type of epic event of which heroes are made. The answer is thousands of years. The Iliad originally just involved some Greek chap popping out for the paper one Sunday morning and look what happened there "Oh good | |||
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"Dear Tina, I've recently started feeling I need a man in my life. Not just a plaything I have my fun with and discard like a Bazooka Joe wrapper, but someone I can give all this up for. What's wrong with me?? yours petrified Badnanna " Do not worry, this is just a phase you are going through. It affects most teenagers. As you grow older and develop in wisdom you will grow out of it. | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from
We're aliens "lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there! | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from
We're aliens
lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!"lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me! | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from
We're aliens
lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!
lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me! "but bizarrely enough I do have an extra vertebrae | |||
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"Hi Tina. Why does buttered toast always land butter side down when you drop it? Xx" Many people think it is to do with balance and aerodynamics. It is not. It is to do with life being a bastard first thing in the morning. | |||
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"Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong? " Ramases II in a spot of idle time between getting planning permission for his next pyramid. | |||
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"If the rhesus factor in human blood proves we evolved from apes...where did the people who are rhesus negative (like me) come from
We're aliens
lol there is actually a whole conspiracy theory about that out there!
lol I know. I car across it when I was looking to see if I could give blood. The things people believe astounds me!
but bizarrely enough I do have an extra vertebrae "really? That is strange. How can I count mine ?? | |||
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"Does housework ever end Tina!!  "Yes, however, your appearance on the Hoarder next door begins, in its' place | |||
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"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word?" No, it is Grease. | |||
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"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word? No, it is Grease. "Does it really have groove and meaning? | |||
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"dear Tina .... is it true that the bird is the word? No, it is Grease.
Does it really have groove and meaning? "Unfortunately not, just move and gleaming | |||
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"Will humanity ever reach a consensus on marmite?" Yes, but it will be 0.0000002 seconds before the Sun goes Supernova and no one will think to leave a note. | |||
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"Does a mars a day help you work rest and play? " Yes, but other Roman Gods are also available. | |||
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"What's the best way to look big and clever on here? " To slay a moth | |||
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"Bugger!!! I thought you said lay a moth. " Maybe that's what he did....???? | |||
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"Are you the fallen Madonna with the big boobies? " No, I believe she lives in Kent. However, I don't mind spending 5 minutes of my time with my head sticking out of a piano doing a bit of exposition at the start of every episode of Fab | |||
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"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true?" Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance | |||
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"Hi Tina. Why does buttered toast always land butter side down when you drop it? Xx Many people think it is to do with balance and aerodynamics. It is not. It is to do with life being a bastard first thing in the morning.
"Thank you. Pmsl. Xx | |||
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"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true? Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance "so it's not actually the real thing?  | |||
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"on the tv advert for the fizzy cola drink they say " is it" .... is this true? Only for the chorus line, following some prankster substituting their talcum powder for an entirely different substance
so it's not actually the real thing? "Not for them it wasn't. | |||
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