FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Being assertive or pushy

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.

is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

block the fooker

SORTED!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell them to piss of you meet when you ready and their attitude is really offputtin!! xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a tough line to tread. I'd be the same as you, can't just meet anytime at all, though I enjoy a good meet it's not the only thing in my life that's important. I've actually had the opposite problem lately though. Someone keeps saying they want to meet and we did meet once, so I keep suggesting places & times, they don't bother organising so I say hey thanks but I don't want to be be messed about, then they plead some excuse and insist they still want to meet and not to leave it. Timewasters are just as bad!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont know cause i never ask to meet anyone i let them do the asking, and if there the sort of person im interested in i take things further, but no i dont meet at the drop of a hat never have never will (unless its someone i know really well) Male or female its your perogative to meet as and when you are comfortable to do so. If they dont want to wait, tough plenty more that will

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Timewasters are just as bad!"

I love timwasters, they help to pass the time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

On the general point of assertive vs pushy, I agree that it's a very fine line indeed, and the exact location of the line is in the eye of the recipient.

Which keeps it interesting...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iam sorry if you think i was being pushy............ xoxox

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.

is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you?"

I believe there is a world of difference between being assertive and being pushy.

What I don't understand is the contradiction in your post and in your status line. Maybe you lead people on when you don't want to meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Go on let em have a feel of your nunchucks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I don't believe theres a fine line between assertive and pushy

Being assertive is letting people know what you want

Being pushy is telling them you want it now whether they do or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go on let em have a feel of your nunchucks "

Ya two timin bitch lol xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooooooooo who has good nunchucks!!!!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Mally! He is a wizard with the old nunchucks!! All shiny and hard they are!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been getting hassled a bit now from a member here to meet up and its... well to be honest, getting on my fooking nerves now. Told said member I don't meet at the drop of a hat but then still asks to meet , now I've had conversations with friends here about my lack of meeting people basically because I don't believe being pushy about a meet will get me anywhere, but was then told I should be more assertive if I want to meet peeps.

is there a fine line between being pushy and being assertive? or are they both the same and its down to the receiver how they see you?"

There is, in my mind, an imaginary boundary between people which is crossed when one person oversteps the line and becomes pushy thus invading the other person's space.

An assertive person would calmly, politely and firmly point out this overstepping and asking the "offender" to respect the boundary by not being pushy. There is a big difference between assertive and aggressive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can we just not say big bollox!!!!!!! xoxo

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go on let em have a feel of your nunchucks "

eh, keep my nunchuks out of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top