FabSwingers.com forum: Manning up!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So ive been seeing a girl for about 7 months who was previously a friend. Shes pretty, has a good personallity (most ot the time), she is faithful, treats me well and the sex is good but i want to break up with her, where i am in my life i want to be single (alone) to concentrate on what i want to do in my life(studying, chasing my dream career and being selfish).

She lives in leeds i live in middlesbrough so im driving down tonight to give her the news. I feel sick and frankly a dick, shes been nothing but nice to me but i feel as though i have to do it for the reasons mentioned above plus i cant see us together in the future.

Why is it so bloody difficult?

Are my reasons acceptable?

How would you react?

Disclaimer!

Yes im on fab an have been for some time before the relationship started and i currently only ise it for the forums and im not meeting due to not being single! Some forumites will recognise me

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If you don't want to be with her, you don't. You'd not be doing her any favours staying with her out of some sense of duty or guilt.

So whatever the reason, that's how it is and you owe it to her to let her move on and find someone who wants to be with her.

Yes, it's difficult but it is best to be honest.

I wish you the best with it.

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By *oulcakeMan
over a year ago

Gornal

"If you don't want to be with her, you don't. You'd not be doing her any favours staying with her out of some sense of duty or guilt.

So whatever the reason, that's how it is and you owe it to her to let her move on and find someone who wants to be with her.

Yes, it's difficult but it is best to be honest.

I wish you the best with it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think your clearly doing the right thing by telling her face to face, just be calm and honest.

good luck though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man up,just send her a text

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah i owe it to her to give it to her face to face. Its gonna be a sad day coz i know im gonna lose a good friend but such is life i guess

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So ive been seeing a girl for about 7 months who was previously a friend. Shes pretty, has a good personallity (most ot the time), she is faithful, treats me well and the sex is good but i want to break up with her, where i am in my life i want to be single (alone) to concentrate on what i want to do in my life(studying, chasing my dream career and being selfish).

Why is it so bloody difficult?

Are my reasons acceptable?

How would you react?

Disclaimer!

Yes im on fab an have been for some time before the relationship started and i currently only ise it for the forums and im not meeting due to not being single! Some forumites will recognise me"

You have my total respect. We have to be true to ourselves and not everyone is going to be forever - but you are handling the situation with a compassion and maturity that is admirable, good luck to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Man up,just send her a text

Haha the last few times ive been canned its been by text an i mentioned early in the relationship ive never do it by text! Dohhh! Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/14 10:07:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw you lil heartbreaker!! You're doing the right thing, just do it, apologise and explain but whatever you do, don't use 'it's not you it's me'

Good luck x

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Man up,just send her a text

Haha the last few times ive been canned its been by text an i mentioned early in the relationship ive never do it by text! Dohhh! Haha

doing it by text is better than not doing it at all

Or starting to be an arse in the hope they dump you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man up,just send her a text

Haha the last few times ive been canned its been by text an i mentioned early in the relationship ive never do it by text! Dohhh! Haha

doing it by text is better than not doing it at all

Or starting to be an arse in the hope they dump you."

dunno.. id have possibly preferred that option actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds exactly like my boyfriend and i a year and a half ago. He dumped me, broke my heart then three months later realised he had been a dickhead. Be careful what you wish for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This sounds exactly like my boyfriend and i a year and a half ago. He dumped me, broke my heart then three months later realised he had been a dickhead. Be careful what you wish for."

Its not a rash decision, ive had many a sleepless night thinking about this. Theres certain things ive noticed about my self like i have no enthusiasm about anything in the relationship and thats not fair to drag on for either if us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your reasons make sense, of course to her they may not! Total respect to ya for not keeping things going or drawing them out so they end badly. Who knows she might surprise you and wanna be friends again in time.

Best of luck to ya!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This sounds exactly like my boyfriend and i a year and a half ago. He dumped me, broke my heart then three months later realised he had been a dickhead. Be careful what you wish for.

Well only you know how you feel. Just be kind to her. It will work out for the best eventually.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"This sounds exactly like my boyfriend and i a year and a half ago. He dumped me, broke my heart then three months later realised he had been a dickhead. Be careful what you wish for.

It sounds to me as though you are doing the right thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"where i am in my life i want to be single (alone) to concentrate on what i want to do in my life(studying, chasing my dream career and being selfish).

Are my reasons acceptable?

How would you react?

Disclaimer!

Well if you use the words above then I think that's clear and I personally would have to except that... But emotions get in the way ! It won't be easy ! I'm sure you will see anger and upset! But in the long run you are doing the right thing, just don't send mixed messages coz you are trying to save her feelings ! good luck Hun feel for you Hx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know you use fab ?

Does she use fab ?

Would she be the one if she did ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does she know you use fab ?

Does she use fab ?

Would she be the one if she did ?

No she doesnt know i use fab

No she not aware of it

No she wouldnt be the one if she did use fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your doing the right thing,it's going to be tough though she'll be angry and upset and it'll take her a while to make any sense of what's going on if she thinks everything has been going great in the relationship hope all goes as well as it can in this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you going to tell her before or after you have sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you going to tell her before or after you have sex? "

During! Should spice things up a bit! JK!

Ill be able to quote bill clinton tomorrow

"I did not have sexual relations with that women"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she know you use fab ?

Does she use fab ?

Would she be the one if she did ?

No she doesnt know i use fab

No she not aware of it

No she wouldnt be the one if she did use fab "
good luck with dumping her then. Your braver than me I've never dumped anyone. I'm not man enough lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope it goes as well as it can and good on you for doing it face to face

We all go through heartbreak, its not easy, but if it's for the right reasons, it has to be done.xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Her reaction will be dependent on what you have promised throughout the seven months.

Frankly I think a seven month fuckship is neither here nor there.

A seven month period of being fed love and commitment is something else.

She may be okay about it.

She may go ballistic.

Only you know what is ending.

Text her before you get there saying you will only be there for about half an hour.

It has to be break ( listen to her fora few mins ) and go.

Trust me.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I think your doing the right thing if that's how you feel and sounds like your going about it the right way.

Good luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am so glad you're being a man and doing this face to face . You have one life and you have to be true to yourself. You cant live a lie and if she cares for you , She will understand and you never know you could end up with a friend for life . And that's worth a lot. XX

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have one life and you have to be true to yourself."

This sums it up perfect to me! A few years ago this was my mentality travelling australia then i came back to study and my life just stalled! Time to get it back on track!

Ive been shortlisted for my dream job which could make the last few years worthwhile and set me up financially so fingers crossed i get to the next phase where i know ill smash the interview!

Hopefully everything starts to fall in to place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it so bloody difficult?

Are my reasons acceptable?

How would you react?

Disclaimer!

Yes im on fab an have been for some time before the relationship started and i currently only ise it for the forums and im not meeting due to not being single! Some forumites will recognise me"

If your not happy with things and came to that conclusion then do what you must at least you are doing it in person and being up front so may are not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So ive turned up and shes bloody out!

Just my bastard luck! Haha

Shes now in a taxi on her way back from the city centre!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should have sent the text

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

all the best ...would be nice if you guys could remain friends ...hope it goes well when she does arrive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't give her one for the road

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in this situation over a 3 year relationship - despite genuinely intense feelings there was 'something' missing that even no I can't explain into words.

But as horrible as it was I respected and loved her too much to keep flogging it.

Think of it this way - the end it now then you both have more time for you both to find someone else.

Respect for not being a coward about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should have sent the text

Haha i should have! When she arrived it took all of 2 mins if that an then i was on my way home, she wasnt happy at all but she took it well! Home now!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was in this situation over a 3 year relationship - despite genuinely intense feelings there was 'something' missing that even no I can't explain into words.

But as horrible as it was I respected and loved her too much to keep flogging it.

Think of it this way - the end it now then you both have more time for you both to find someone else.

Respect for not being a coward about it."

Hopefully she respects me for facing her in person! She deserves a good guy but that guys not me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in this situation over a 3 year relationship - despite genuinely intense feelings there was 'something' missing that even no I can't explain into words.

But as horrible as it was I respected and loved her too much to keep flogging it.

Think of it this way - the end it now then you both have more time for you both to find someone else.

Respect for not being a coward about it.

Hopefully she respects me for facing her in person! She deserves a good guy but that guys not me"

I totally understand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was in this situation over a 3 year relationship - despite genuinely intense feelings there was 'something' missing that even no I can't explain into words.

But as horrible as it was I respected and loved her too much to keep flogging it.

Think of it this way - the end it now then you both have more time for you both to find someone else.

Respect for not being a coward about it.

Hopefully she respects me for facing her in person! She deserves a good guy but that guys not me

I totally understand."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to probe but how'd she take it, no pun intended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's her number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone didn't want to be with me I would sooner them go than stay with me out of pity, or because they wasn't man enough to tell me, she may be hurt at first but in the long run your doing her a favour as if she is at a stage in her life where she does want to settle down she can now find someone who wants her in return and will make her happy

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