FabSwingers.com forum: The True Value of Verifications

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

A few things recently have reminded me why I put little if any value to the content of verifications…. at best they tell you someone is believed to be the gender they said there were; but if you can’t work that one out for yourself … hey ho!

I recently received a verification that in short made me sound like a super-being sex goddess and explained how amazing the meet was and what an amazing person I am. Fair enough, I am an amazing person; and each to their own one man’s meat and all that…. but… BUT… it was from a meet where I wasn’t feeling on top form (was bloody knackered from other activities) and made little effort. OK, I made no effort… and he wasn’t my first choice but was more of a “what the heck, I might as well if there’s nothing on telly tonight”. The verification certainly wasn’t a reflection of how I saw it.

Then there was a couple of guys who slated off a previous meet as being a minger in a ming-hovel…. not quite what their verification of her said. I asked them why they had written what they had if they thought she was so awful and wouldn’t be touching her again. One refused to answer (lol) and the other squirmed for a while before answering…. “it looks good”…. going on to explain it was more about self-promotion than an accurate refection of the person they’d met.

In the past I’ve been told “keep ‘um sweet they are bound to have friends” and “you never know when the next storm will come and you need to find a port quickly”.

Anyway…… following on from this it’s got me sat here wondering if there is a way for feedback to be given fairly and not open to abuse by anyone with an axe to grind.

I haven’t put this in the suggestions forum as I believe it would be far to complex for a free site to operate (and I’m pretty much making it up as I type)… and I prefer to use my own judgement… but here is the thought (as it develops) anyway:

Each profile has a unique ID number generated weekly (or may be monthly). When you arrange a meet you exchange ID number…. if someone refuses, then it is up to you to decide their motives. The ID number allows the other user access to complete a set of feedback rating question anonymously (may be):

The questions could include anything the majority thought was important…

Where they clean?

Did they look like their photos?

Where they pushy?

Did they show up?

The ID number will only be active for one week after the week of issue…. stops folk going back later and doing more verifications because they’ve got the hump over something else.

Each profile will then have a bar-scale rating/ratings displayed on their profile.

Ah fuck it…….. make ya own mind up about people

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Veris are great...I look at them...think oh god they fucked that!! and pass by

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

I think verifications or feedback are only as reliable as the person/s giving it so you need to take whats said with a pinch of salt and try to read between the lines.

We personally would never give a bad verification but not giving one can speak volumes in itself.

There is no perfect system or way to verify or vouch for people I guess you just have to use your instincts.

When I was a single fem I had a coffee with a guy who said less than complimentary things about another lady and when I told him I hoped I wouldnt be hearing any thing unkind about myself he threw a strop and called me childish cos he didnt shag me lol.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Veris are great...I look at them...think oh god they fucked that!! and pass by

I have to admit to doing that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing that puts us off using verifications as a reliable source are,

The verification only shows that the person really exists, as members can hide verifications you don't really get a true picture.

i.e- If we wrote a 100% true experience of say a couple named ABC123 (this is a made up profile hopefully) and wrote--

We met ABC123 last night it looked like they had not had a bath in 8 weeks and smelt worse, the pics and profile said they were both slim, it must have been wrote 35 years ago.

Nobody in there right mind would display this on their profile but it would still show that they were verified genuine.

Always trust your first instincts and if things sound too good to be true they probably are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Veris are great...I look at them...think oh god they fucked that!! and pass by

whooo its no just me that does that then!! xx

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

[Removed by poster at 26/04/10 14:36:56]

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

i.e- If we wrote a 100% true experience of say a couple named ABC123 (this is a made up profile hopefully) and wrote--

We met ABC123 last night it looked like they had not had a bath in 8 weeks and smelt worse, the pics and profile said they were both slim, it must have been wrote 35 years ago.

Nobody in there right mind would display this on their profile but it would still show that they were verified genuine.

euwwwwwww night mare lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing that puts us off using verifications as a reliable source are,

The verification only shows that the person really exists, as members can hide verifications you don't really get a true picture.

i.e- If we wrote a 100% true experience of say a couple named ABC123 (this is a made up profile hopefully) and wrote--

We met ABC123 last night it looked like they had not had a bath in 8 weeks and smelt worse, the pics and profile said they were both slim, it must have been wrote 35 years ago.

Nobody in there right mind would display this on their profile but it would still show that they were verified genuine.

Always trust your first instincts and if things sound too good to be true they probably are."

I would more likely read it as a joke, and if I put it up I'd expect most other people would too, so you can't win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I write my own I compose them and tell ppl what to write about me.... not!

But is has happened that someone asked me to write my own verification from them and another has told me what to write for their verification.

Some people also write glowing testimonials in the hope that it will get them another meet.

Therefore I always think carefully about what I write about others and am very careful about which veri's I choose to show.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

A verification proves 2 things to others

1) you are what sex you are

2)and you turn up

Other than that it really is an indication that you are genuine and not a time waster

But its an indication not foolproof

I like to see verifications on a profile and I like to put them there.

Some verifications have put me off meeting especialy where bareback is mentioned for example to mention just the one reason

But I find that many men are attracted to my profile BECAUSE of my photos firstly and my list of verifications secondly usually

They know that IF they are my type and IF I have an hour spare, I WILL MEET THEM AND FUCK THEM

Its what we both want so go for it I say

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Verifications on this site are not perfect, but better than no system at all.

I would prefer to see them apply to meets only and not phone or cam verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Veris are great...I look at them...think oh god they fucked that!! and pass by

Lol lol lol lol...think we've all done that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications tend to put us off a lot of people, rather than encourage us to meet them, they really do show some people up to be desperate, and this is not directed at anyone who has posted on here before you take offence.

We’ve had more meets on a site that has no verification system in place than we have on here, we’d probably have had less if one were in place though.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

We’ve had more meets on a site that has no verification system in place than we have on here, we’d probably have had less if one were in place though.

Why?, if you don't mind me asking...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They know that IF they are my type and IF I have an hour spare, I WILL MEET THEM AND FUCK THEM

An hour?!!

Takes me that long to get out my toys!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had more meets on a site that has no verification system in place than we have on here, we’d probably have had less if one were in place though.

Why?, if you don't mind me asking..."

Because as they old saying goes, sometimes its best not to know things, if you cannot see who people have met, it cannot cloud you're judgement.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Fair enough......thanks

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

so would it be better if it were anonymous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so would it be better if it were anonymous

was that directed at me?

if so then yes, theres just so many people judge others for what they see or read, and admittedly I’m one of these people, whether its verifications, what someone they have met has on their profile or even pictures, it clouds peoples judgement, yet if you met these same people in a social environment or club, your only judging them for who they are, personally that’s the best way to judge people but when there’s things in front of you crying out to be judged, it’s easier said than done not to judge.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"so would it be better if it were anonymous

was that directed at me?

SORRY

Yes I was wondering what your views were.

I think it would be a great option for feedback to be given as named or anonymous

We all say we don't judge people but we really do.

I would add more of mine for sure hehe

Maybe we ought to ask the powers that be if it can be an option

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Maybe an option for the person who receives the verification to name the person who verified them?

Sounds like a good option to me.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"Maybe an option for the person who receives the verification to name the person who verified them?

Sounds like a good option to me."

Yes it does, I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've got a few verifications from people we know well and we've posted a couple of veries ourselves. If that isn't good enough for anyone for whatever reason then that's their problem, not ours, as to be honest, we couldn't give a toss who thinks we're genuine or not.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We've got a few verifications from people we know well and we've posted a couple of veries ourselves. If that isn't good enough for anyone for whatever reason then that's their problem, not ours, as to be honest, we couldn't give a toss who thinks we're genuine or not."

Snap .....only the people we meet need to know if we are real or not, so if they don't want to meet people who don't show veri's then they can move along to some other couples profile

We use another site that has an option to leave your feedback anonymously, and also breaks down which verification is which, ie meets/phone/cam etc. It works well.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I would completely anonymise it.

It would read

Verified on cam 2 times (1 man, 1 couple)

Verified on phone 10 times (7 couples, 3 men)

Verified in person (socially) 25 times (20 couples, 4 women, 1 hermaphrodite)

Verified in person (play) 1 time (self)

Total verifications - 100, of which 10 were in the last month, 35 in the last 6 months.

...for example. 5 lines of text, entirely automated, no option as to show/not show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications are only PART of an overall picture, the impression (in want of a better word) one forms of a potential meet is partly their profile text and pictures, partly their previous verifications and whom they have met, partly impressions formed from MSN/ phone chat - all of which help in the decision whether one might get on. One verification alone does not help in this but a number of good AND diverse verifications do.

The final piece of the jigsaw.. is the meeting...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all make believe. If you give someone a bad one they don’t display it. If you give them a mediocre one hen you might not get one back. From reading what admin have in the verification path it looks as though half are pure make believe. I tend only use them for the Yuck you met them! Well im not meeting you factor.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"I would completely anonymise it.

It would read

Verified on cam 2 times (1 man, 1 couple)

Verified on phone 10 times (7 couples, 3 men)

Verified in person (socially) 25 times (20 couples, 4 women, 1 hermaphrodite)

Verified in person (play) 1 time (self)

Total verifications - 100, of which 10 were in the last month, 35 in the last 6 months.

...for example. 5 lines of text, entirely automated, no option as to show/not show."

hehehehe

i like the sound of that.

Tho i have to admit i do like to read the veri's - even if not interested - and its sometimes funny to see what cirlces you follow.

I do read em but i dont make my final decision on them.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

After reading this thread, it's my firm intention to maintain a short list of recent verifications only - it's hard enough writing a profile without worrying about the contribution from other people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications are just a reflection of a single event, so they need to be seen in this context? They are not a valuation of a person as a whole, just a snapshot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read verifications with a large pinch of salt, and would do my best to assess the person myself before agreeing to meet for a drink/meal before progressing any further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read verifications with a large pinch of salt, and would do my best to assess the person myself before agreeing to meet for a drink/meal before progressing any further.

Same for us. We all like different things in people and because one couple raved about another one it doesn't mean we will.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I look on a veri as capturing a moment in time. How you felt after that particular meet, you could meet the same person again and it be completely different, it depends what you are looking for at that moment and if you found it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I write my own I compose them and tell ppl what to write about me.... not!

But is has happened that someone asked me to write my own verification from them and another has told me what to write for their verification.

Some people also write glowing testimonials in the hope that it will get them another meet.

Therefore I always think carefully about what I write about others and am very careful about which veri's I choose to show.

damn , i lost that veri i made you write about how fantastic i am heheheh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, verifications are a small part of assessing whether to meet someone or not.

We read them, some for comedy value more than anything but dont meet purly on what other people think about them.

They are more to prove to us that they are active, genuine (ie both exist, lol) and we can invite them to friends list and then to get to know them ourselves and make our own minds up.

SteveandJ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ebay way of feedback seems a good model to follow to me. Line of text followed by anonymous averaged out rating on suitable points.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I had a veri on my list from a guy who warned of my wooden leg and the steel one. I was amazed to get a message from someone who thought I was so brave to meet with such dissabilities although I was'nt for him.

Shows that some people do take what is written as gospel

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

exactly

I mean I DO KNOW I am not the best fuck

But if a man came here and thought so, who am I to say otherwise

It doesn't mean I am but to him, on that day, maybe I was

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire

"I would completely anonymise it.

It would read

Verified on cam 2 times (1 man, 1 couple)

Verified on phone 10 times (7 couples, 3 men)

Verified in person (socially) 25 times (20 couples, 4 women, 1 hermaphrodite)

Verified in person (play) 1 time (self)

Total verifications - 100, of which 10 were in the last month, 35 in the last 6 months.

...for example. 5 lines of text, entirely automated, no option as to show/not show."

I can see a big whole in this idea!

Verified in person (socially) 0 times (0)

Verified in person (play) 980 times (everyone on the site!)

Total verifications - TOO MANY, of which 100 were in the last month, 350 in the last 3 months.

I think some people would like to keep it quiet to how many people they meet/play with. At least with the system as is you can just put one the latest verifications and delete the old ones.

Also if you fall out with someone they may just keep verifying you so that you look like your playing all the time, again putting people off.

Finally having a system that allows people to put negative verifications on your profile without being able to delete them from showing is a bad idea, if you get bad verifications that you cannot remove, you will either delete your account and start again or even worse for the site owners move to another site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a veri on my list from a guy who warned of my wooden leg and the steel one. I was amazed to get a message from someone who thought I was so brave to meet with such dissabilities although I was'nt for him.

Shows that some people do take what is written as gospel"

Reminds me to be dead straight in my future verifications and not even attempt to be funny

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