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invisable hubby

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

why do most men when inboxing us only address me kirsty its as if my hubby doesnt exist at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

same here, ie Hi Pat

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"why do most men when inboxing us only address me kirsty its as if my hubby doesnt exist at all "

Cos they'd rather he didn't?

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

lol we get that all the time too does make you wonder if they forget there is 2 of you or just choose to ignore the fact hoping he will some how vanish xxxx

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

i dont....

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By *unwmidscplCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

totally disrespectful gets immediate delete with us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your husband's name isn't Griffin by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i dont...."

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

Because they're rude, disrespectful and ignorant.

Use it as an extra filter.

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just rude

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By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago

Neath

Because they only want sex with the woman. The husband is just someone they have to put up with.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen...."

Agreed. Don't moan about people only writing to the female of the couple when your profile pics pretty much exclude the male.

If you're not sure how to present him apart from his cock entering you then take a look at the more successful single male profiles for examples of good pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up addressing it to one or other in a couple as I always got it wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, OP, as you say in your profile that you will initiate contact with single guys, do you in your initial message make it clear that they need to talk to you as a couple?

Surely any ad-hoc nails from guys would just get binned anyway as they blatantly haven't read your profile to begin with!

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Because they only want sex with the woman. The husband is just someone they have to put up with. "

I wonder how far some 'straight' men will go in terms of bisexuality in order to secure a hetty shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

Agreed. Don't moan about people only writing to the female of the couple when your profile pics pretty much exclude the male.

If you're not sure how to present him apart from his cock entering you then take a look at the more successful single male profiles for examples of good pics."

Don't get the excludes male bit? The profile is man's name first and first two pics are of the man's cock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, OP, as you say in your profile that you will initiate contact with single guys, do you in your initial message make it clear that they need to talk to you as a couple?

Surely any ad-hoc nails from guys would just get binned anyway as they blatantly haven't read your profile to begin with!"

when we in our normal life meet people the dont ignore one of us so why the hell shoulld we on here have to tell people that they need to address both of us

and when we reply or initiate any message we ALWAYS add at the end rich n kirsty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen...."

Either this - or it's simply a cut and paste message used for both singles and females!

Lost count of the number of times we used to get the same message on our couples profile as Fox did on her solo one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we get that too but we just respond with both of our names at the bottom or ignore the message, its different if they are chatting to one of you in messages and they address you personally but otherwise its just disrespectful to your partner being ignored therefore they have no chance with us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

Agreed. Don't moan about people only writing to the female of the couple when your profile pics pretty much exclude the male.

If you're not sure how to present him apart from his cock entering you then take a look at the more successful single male profiles for examples of good pics."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

Either this - or it's simply a cut and paste message used for both singles and females!

Lost count of the number of times we used to get the same message on our couples profile as Fox did on her solo one! "

we dont mind the cut paste as an initial msg as long as its addressed to us unlike one recently that had about 4 different names on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have equal number of pics of us both/ both of us in the pics. I can't remember any man just addressing me, they always address us both.

Coincidence?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

Either this - or it's simply a cut and paste message used for both singles and females!

Lost count of the number of times we used to get the same message on our couples profile as Fox did on her solo one!

we dont mind the cut paste as an initial msg as long as its addressed to us unlike one recently that had about 4 different names on it "

Those are funny! Daft sods.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have equal number of pics of us both/ both of us in the pics. I can't remember any man just addressing me, they always address us both.

Coincidence?"

hmmm yours is a single f profile

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

[Removed by poster at 09/03/14 15:02:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why do most men when inboxing us only address me kirsty its as if my hubby doesnt exist at all

Cos they'd rather he didn't?"

Lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"why do most men when inboxing us only address me kirsty its as if my hubby doesnt exist at all "

not this worst thing in the world and can be telling

don't actually complain about it.... but instead turn it into an advantage and use it as one of your selection processes....

if they don't acknowledge there are two of you... scrub them off the list... simple as!

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I agree it is rude - but as we know a lot of people just look at pics and dont read profiles before they send messages (its a shock I know).

And more often than not the husband is nowhere to be seen....

Agreed. Don't moan about people only writing to the female of the couple when your profile pics pretty much exclude the male.

If you're not sure how to present him apart from his cock entering you then take a look at the more successful single male profiles for examples of good pics.

Don't get the excludes male bit? The profile is man's name first and first two pics are of the man's cock. "

I should have made it clear I was referring in general to couples who say they have this problem but the OP's profile still proves my point. There are just pics of his cock. You don't need to imagine what would be said of a single man's profile that just contained cock pics.

If you're on as a couple then pics should be displayed of the both you, not just giving an idea of her body type/looks and sweet FA about him apart from he has a penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

so because you can only see his cock you can ignore him hmmm ok

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

and we have pics that are only available to people on our friends list

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"so because you can only see his cock you can ignore him hmmm ok "

not quite what I think he is saying.... without putting words in his mouth... but i think a lot of couples profiles use pictures of the women as "bait"... so you get a lot of profiles that have a lot of pictures of women but only one or two of men....

... it doesn't always help the perception they are "equal partners"

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

So when we are looking for guys only to join us they want to see pictures of the guy? More so its not seen as disrespectful to ignore the fact you are talking to a couple?

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"so because you can only see his cock you can ignore him hmmm ok "

No, I'm saying if you have pics of him and not just, what is only assumed to be, his cock there's less chance of him being ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and we have pics that are only available to people on our friends list "

The point Mr M (and I agree) is making is that showing more varied pics - full body, but not face - will give viewers a better idea of BOTH of you.

It's not an excuse for only one of you being addresses - but the tendency for many couples to use the female as bait, or eye candy, to lure in viewers and messages does tend to result in the potential for less attention being paid to the male.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so because you can only see his cock you can ignore him hmmm ok

not quite what I think he is saying.... without putting words in his mouth... but i think a lot of couples profiles use pictures of the women as "bait"... so you get a lot of profiles that have a lot of pictures of women but only one or two of men....

... it doesn't always help the perception they are "equal partners" "

FFS! I could have just typed "What he said!" I was watching the rugby!

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

It happens, like being called hun ( neither of us are of German descent ), babes, we are well over the nappy wearing stage. We make it clear in our profile what we are looking for, if any interested parties want to grab our attention, it's pretty well laid out. Those that don't, we don't have to reply to, indeed usually don't. ( we kinda think the way to get into hotlips' knickers is to engage with Hawkeye ).

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By *atinaBabeCouple
over a year ago

casa caliente

Doesn't bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really....if thats your only problem on here your doing well.... If you dont like it ignore it, simple, but it hardly makes a person rude/ignorant etc.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"So when we are looking for guys only to join us they want to see pictures of the guy? More so its not seen as disrespectful to ignore the fact you are talking to a couple? "

But you're not looking for guys only, are you? If and when you do then yes, juggle your pics accordingly.

At the moment your profile states you are also seeking couples too. Do you expect the female half of another couple to contact you based on pics of your female half alone?

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

If you read the profile we are not looking to play with couples.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you read the profile we are not looking to play with couples. "

read a profile lmfao thats half the prob and why ours is so short rarely does anyone read a profile

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

Regardless it is rude and aragont to ignore the fact it is a couples profile. That is the point what pictures are displayed does not matter.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

read a profile lmfao thats half the prob and why ours is so short rarely does anyone read a profile "

maybe then you reap what you sow....

maybe your profile is attracting that type of person.....

or maybe if you know what you are looking for maybe you should go after them... rather on just waiting on them to come to you....

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury


"If you read the profile we are not looking to play with couples.

read a profile lmfao thats half the prob and why ours is so short rarely does anyone read a profile "

True lol but it works for us.

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury


"

read a profile lmfao thats half the prob and why ours is so short rarely does anyone read a profile

maybe then you reap what you sow....

maybe your profile is attracting that type of person.....

or maybe if you know what you are looking for maybe you should go after them... rather on just waiting on them to come to you...."

Fully agree.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"If you read the profile we are not looking to play with couples. "

lol I shall retract everything I said specifically relating to your profile. It clearly states you are not seeking couples. I very quickly skimmed it and obviously can't read

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Regardless it is rude and aragont to ignore the fact it is a couples profile. That is the point what pictures are displayed does not matter. "

but it does... would you meet someone without pics?

i am only going to talk for me... but if i look for a couple, I want to feel as it both people have contributed... and I want to get a feel for both people!... the wording of the language is part of that... and pictures are another....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

we do go after what we want

but that isnt the point we was trying to make

its obv that some on here think its our own fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ours is a couples profile written by a woman from the female perspective mostly full of pictures of me

So because of that I don't mind at all if initial messages are directed towards me,I get a mix of both,most are complimenting the pictures anyway,but if in subsequent messages where meeting up may be on the cards hes ignored then its going nowhere fast really,have to add that its not often the case though and the majority of men that I talk to are more than aware im part of a couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to get it a lot on our couples profile. Not a problem. We just used it as an additional filter and ignored and blocked. Really no big deal is it?

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"Ours is a couples profile written by a woman from the female perspective mostly full of pictures of me

So because of that I don't mind at all if initial messages are directed towards me,I get a mix of both,most are complimenting the pictures anyway,but if in subsequent messages where meeting up may be on the cards hes ignored then its going nowhere fast really,have to add that its not often the case though and the majority of men that I talk to are more than aware im part of a couple "

That's fine, you're a couple who aren't looking for couples *I've triple checked * so pics of him aren't necessary.

If the men continue to ignore the fact you have a partner when you've reached the stage of potentially meeting them then that's just ignorance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we do go after what we want

but that isnt the point we was trying to make

its obv that some on here think its our own fault

"

I don't think anyone is saying it's entirely your fault.

You posted asking a question regarding the actions of single men. Several have responded with suggestions as to why - not laying blame at any doorsteps.

If you seek opinions - don't be surprised if some are not what you were expecting, or if some suggest that there are things you could possibly change/do differently to improve your situation.

Single guys often post about messages being ignored. Single women often post about the lack of quality in messages. Couples often post similar complaints to yours.

The guys get slated by most. The women get fawned over by males saying 'that's not me' - and the couples often get similar advice to that which has been given on this thread.

It's not personal.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"we do go after what we want

but that isnt the point we was trying to make

its obv that some on here think its our own fault

"

no one has said it is your fault entirely... but no one has said you are blameless either!

sometimes you need to be able to look yourselves in the eye and ask "am i doing everything I can to help myself?"

for example... if as you say you go after the people you want, then the selection process may need to be looked at... and the way you present yourselves may also need to be looked at...

but a "victim mentality" isn't really sexy either....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we do go after what we want

but that isnt the point we was trying to make

its obv that some on here think its our own fault

"

Not saying it's your fault at all. I was just suggesting a reason why they might just address the female half.

It is actually very rude to just chat to the female in the couple. But it's pretty obvious why men do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"we do go after what we want

but that isnt the point we was trying to make

its obv that some on here think its our own fault

no one has said it is your fault entirely... but no one has said you are blameless either!

sometimes you need to be able to look yourselves in the eye and ask "am i doing everything I can to help myself?"

for example... if as you say you go after the people you want, then the selection process may need to be looked at... and the way you present yourselves may also need to be looked at...

but a "victim mentality" isn't really sexy either...."

wait a min here what we are or are not looking for and wether we get what we are after is nothing to do with the point we was trying to make

read the original post

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

wait a min here what we are or are not looking for and wether we get what we are after is nothing to do with the point we was trying to make

read the original post "

oh absolutely it does!!!

the way you present yourselves in your profile, your pictures, the percetion you create, and for example, now all has an effect on how you are treated and how a conversation may go...

you may not be liking what you are hearing... but what a lot of people have said and you seem not to be listening, is that it is a much bigger picture then what you would like to see

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ok so because of the way our profile is set out and the way our pics are and the way we present ourselves on this thread is an excuse to ingore one of us when sending a message

what a load of ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are these men that message you the male half of couples or single men?

If you're not looking for single males at the moment as it says on your profile you can block them from messaging you,that would be some of your problem sorted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are these men that message you the male half of couples or single men?

If you're not looking for single males at the moment as it says on your profile you can block them from messaging you,that would be some of your problem sorted "

to be honest its not a prob we just ignore the ones that only address one of us

we dont want to block all single men as sometimes they can catch us at the right moment and .... lol

and theres some men on here we wont play with but have a bloody good natter to

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"ok so because of the way our profile is set out and the way our pics are and the way we present ourselves on this thread is an excuse to ingore one of us when sending a message

what a load of ......"

again you are twisting what people are saying.....

YOU can actually help yourself to "Help yourself!!"

it is not an excuse for people to do that at all!! but YOU have a part in the narrative in how YOU want to be perceived.. and people have suggested ways that YOU can help to come across as a couple better than you do at the moment

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You could have diddly squat on your profile but some people might still mail couples and only speak to one half of them.....changing a profile won't stop that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well it appears we will have to agree to disagree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You could have diddly squat on your profile but some people might still mail couples and only speak to one half of them.....changing a profile won't stop that."

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You could have diddly squat on your profile but some people might still mail couples and only speak to one half of them.....changing a profile won't stop that.

I think telling people they have to change in order for people to not be rude is a bit OTT myself.

Disclaimer, we don't often get single men speaking to the female only.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

im now having to watch what i say on this thread as i have had a post removed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why do most men when inboxing us only address me kirsty its as if my hubby doesnt exist at all

Cos they'd rather he didn't?"
..Well put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"same here, ie Hi Pat"
Maybe because he or she doesn't respect or see y'all as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah and where is the woman in most couple profile, mysterie lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's actually a mix for us, some will write addressing my husband, so most times I'll leave that message for him. Unless its a compliment about me, then I tell them it's me and thank them and that's that.

I agree when the majority of the pix are of the lady it's easier to assume its her on more, although that's not always the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its because DIM WITS don't read profiles.

You go to all the trouble of writing one so no one wastes time chasing things you are not interested in.

They look at pics and the lower body half brain takes over.

Solution, just remove all pics and list your profile as a man!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its because DIM WITS don't read profiles.

You go to all the trouble of writing one so no one wastes time chasing things you are not interested in.

They look at pics and the lower body half brain takes over.

Solution, just remove all pics and list your profile as a man!!!

"

ha ha ha reply of the day you shalll get a special supprise xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not add to your profile: "The ultimate choice is made by both of us".

That should prompt applicants to address you both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because you only change the name on copy and paste messages.. Duh

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why not add to your profile: "The ultimate choice is made by both of us".

That should prompt applicants to address you both.

"

fair point but as we all know nobody reads profiles

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

We know if our profile has been read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that just about hit the nail on the head

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

is that a pic of him fucking you doggy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was managing our joint profile and this happened to us I just used to reply as tho I were my partner and sign his name! If single guys had written particularly graphic sexual content about licking/sucking me which was often the case and "he" wrote back saying "he" would love them too lick/suck "him" it soon stopped the messages or changed the senders attitude and most apologised for their mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep and 7 out 10 times, leads to wanks

Her

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By *inkykoupleukCouple
over a year ago

southampton

Happens daily with us, ends with instant delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wonder if it's because it's seen as the woman having final say.

but usualy i mguessing it';sbecause there's a few dozen female pics and maybe one cock shot of the guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman in fairness on a couples profile, have more choice of pics to take, lingerie, certain positions, they get a new bra they want to show it off, men don't.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/03/14 01:19:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Woman in fairness on a couples profile, have more choice of pics to take, lingerie, certain positions, they get a new bra they want to show it off, men don't.

Her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Woman in fairness on a couples profile, have more choice of pics to take, lingerie, certain positions, they get a new bra they want to show it off, men don't.

Her"

well look at your profile would you meet a bloke who had the two pics your fella has an nothing more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 10/03/14 01:19:30]"
I never said men were, woman have more options what they can do, " who said anything about men just being cocks" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never really gave it a thought to be honest I normally just correct them by telling them who is talking

No big deal they either say hi or go quite lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never really gave it a thought to be honest I normally just correct them by telling them who is talking

No big deal they either say hi or go quite

lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Woman in fairness on a couples profile, have more choice of pics to take, lingerie, certain positions, they get a new bra they want to show it off, men don't.

Her"

See I would argue that there are guys profiles on here who show creativity with their pictures just as much if not more.

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