FabSwingers.com forum: Shy guys....turn off or turn off?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was chatting with a guy online via a dating site and we had arranged to meet...but then we exchanged numbers to chat on the phone first. BUT he was REALLY shy! He spoke but he seemed nervous and told me how awful it was once when he was picked on by a comedian when picked out in an audience.

The problem is...I am a fairly confident outgoing person and I am attracted to confident dominant men. So this has turned me off him. I know that sounds awful but I would eat him for breakfast!!! Thinking of cancelling the date but feel bad about it.....but I dont think we are going to be compatible! Help!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or why not take him under your wing and help improve his confidence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

it could just be initial nerves ....once the conversation begins to flow he may begin to settle ...i would give him the chance personally ...hope things work out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn off for me too, for all the reasons you stated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I felt there was a spark I'd give him a chance. Otherwise it wouldn't work for me. I don't like arrogance but people need at least a tiny little bit of confidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lesson....speak on the phone before arranging a date it will make life a lot easier,I would cancel or just make it a quick cup of coffee date if you feel bad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Give him a chance, could be initial nerves, especially if he hasn't 'dated' for a while. Nothing to loose?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Have you told him what you like? Is it a social meet if so we'd give him the chance. Play meet a little tougher because you'll be needing to say no if you meet and nothing changes.

Definitely tell him your reasoning though at least he'll know what to work on for the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It depends on the person. I've met a few shy guys and found them to be hard work. I like to monologue as much as the next super villain, but it is nice not to have to carry the conversation.

There is a shy girl just north of me that I'm very interested in meeting, though,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give him a chance, could be initial nerves, especially if he hasn't 'dated' for a while. Nothing to loose? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I felt there was a spark I'd give him a chance. Otherwise it wouldn't work for me. I don't like arrogance but people need at least a tiny little bit of confidence."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyharry39Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

I'm shy only for first 5mins though always best to have a chat on phone first then I become a horny devil lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be fair to him, he did talk. I asked him if he was a shy person and he said yes and that he didnt like being centre of attention.

Hmmm......well he doesn't know about my swinging side....as it is just a regular dating site...BUT chances of potential? Probably not! Oh dear! He sounds so sweet but 'sweet' doesnt tend to peel my onion! !!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm shy only for first 5mins though always best to have a chat on phone first then I become a horny devil lol

I just got the sense that he was a shy person and not just initially with me. I am told that I have a sexual aura! Lol...I dont mean that in an arrogant way but apparently my personality even in a vanilla /social situation. ..is flirty. .etc...so I think I would scare him to death! Poor thing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I play a better game with a good opposition.

And I love a challenge, it has to be the right sort of challenge though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go for it, its a night out at least. I've met some guys who were very confident behind a keyboard but not so face to face and similarly some who admitted they were shy but once hit with my infectious personality were a great laugh lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at it this way, at least he is not ignorant or arrogant, nothing worse.

Give him a go, he may turn out a real treasure to you once the the first bit nerves are out of the way.

Her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite shy when it comes to new surroundings or new people. Not sure if it's shyness or just nerves...but, i tend to think in the back of my head what do they really think of me. Once i start chatting and they don't give me a cold shoulder then i can just be myself..

I usually talk to anybody about anything but if they got nothing to share or can't bounce back in the conversation...i'm stuck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the saying goes " the quietest are always worse" nothing wrong with a coffee and a chat he may pounce once the kettles boiled

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok ok ok!!! I will give him a chance! Its just a drink afterall. I just feel sorry for him as although I am confident socially. ..I like to be sexually submissive but I like a guy to 'take charge' in everyday social situations so thats why I wonder if he is up to the job, so to speak! Lol! BUT...I will give him a chance!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite shy when it comes to new surroundings or new people. Not sure if it's shyness or just nerves...but, i tend to think in the back of my head what do they really think of me. Once i start chatting and they don't give me a cold shoulder then i can just be myself..

I usually talk to anybody about anything but if they got nothing to share or can't bounce back in the conversation...i'm stuck.

I'll never forget the "who the fuck are you?!" look on your face. Just like this-

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I usually talk to anybody about anything but if they got nothing to share or can't bounce back in the conversation...i'm stuck.

This

I (Mrs)can be very shy / reserved to start with but in the right company, I soon feel relaxed and come out of my shell.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting with a guy online via a dating site and we had arranged to meet...but then we exchanged numbers to chat on the phone first. BUT he was REALLY shy! He spoke but he seemed nervous and told me how awful it was once when he was picked on by a comedian when picked out in an audience.

in my experience, the shy men were the best lovers. give him a chance, you never know lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I will give him a chance but dont blame me if he drowns!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually talk to anybody about anything but if they got nothing to share or can't bounce back in the conversation...i'm stuck.

I'll never forget the "who the fuck are you?!" look on your face. Just like this-

I'm sorrryyyyy. I still feel so bad about that. Mind you, i think i was like that with everyone lol never seen anyone's face before you know.

...i'd make it up to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Ok ok ok!!! I will give him a chance! Its just a drink afterall. I just feel sorry for him as although I am confident socially. ..I like to be sexually submissive but I like a guy to 'take charge' in everyday social situations so thats why I wonder if he is up to the job, so to speak! Lol! BUT...I will give him a chance!

Its been said before on here, and I'll say it again - you have to watch the quiet ones.

I have been told that I come across as fairly reserved initially....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I am willing to test your theories everyone! Lets see! Full report available for those interested! lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my first meet this week and was absolutely shitting myself, when initial nerves had gone I was fine and we had a great time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I am a pretty confident guy, and meets wise - I have been meeting for absolutely years! But when it comes to chatting on the phone or sitting down for a pint (with someone new). I do go quite quiet. This is only because I dont know what you are going to say sex wise as people are usually around.

All that is on my mind with any meet is sex, what you do, what you fancy, what you have on underneath, but it's stopped by more regular conversation like 'do you want some crisps' because of that public circumstance.

I have been told that even in private I can come across as disinterested.. again this is only because my thoughts are of 'what is under that bra'. Get me in the bedroom though, and I am a different animal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this at first in the same situation. I tend to go for very confident men and believed if faced with a shy man I'd go no further. Then it happened, at first I didn't realise it was shyness as he was so confident in messaging. Gradually over a few months I've got more and more turned on by the idea of getting this man out of his shell and expanding his sexual horizon.

He's not a fabster in case anyone thinks im guilty of indiscretion, he's not even a swinger.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had my first meet this week and was absolutely shitting myself, when initial nerves had gone I was fine and we had a great time."

Way to go, know how nervous you were but see!!! You loved it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would find that off putting to be honest. I like to 'engage' with the person..not just their body. For me..its the whole package that has to work for me to find someone attractive. Chemistry , flirtation, the build up....

But in my case...this isnt a FAB meet. Its a dating site...for a date. He isnt a swinger. He wants a relationship. So do I. Hence why I am on a dating site too.... so when the guy tells me he is a shy person, it isnt just initial nerves. Thats his personality.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

put me in any public place where I cant be overheard and I am my regular self. The social meets I have had go from amazing to extraordinary as far as what people say. Things like 'do you know my clit is pierced', 'how long have you been meeting women on xxxx site', 'what do you find attractive about my wife'.. stuff like that or they will be sat opposite exposing themselves.

I really try to avoid them - and I have only met a handful socially as it is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"....but I dont think we are going to be compatible! Help! "

Depends if your looking for NSA or a sort of relationship...

NSA, well you must like his profile and picture, and he probably wrote you a good first email, as is expected...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"....but I dont think we are going to be compatible! Help!

Depends if your looking for NSA or a sort of relationship...

NSA, well you must like his profile and picture, and he probably wrote you a good first email, as is expected...

Its a dating site.....so....its a date! Lol! Looking for a relationship ultimately. I use FAB for NSA.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"....but I dont think we are going to be compatible! Help!

Depends if your looking for NSA or a sort of relationship...

NSA, well you must like his profile and picture, and he probably wrote you a good first email, as is expected...

Its a dating site.....so....its a date! Lol! Looking for a relationship ultimately. I use FAB for NSA. "

I should add...I am SINGLE so I am on FAB. If I get into a relationship then I wont be on FAB...uunless he and I decide to embark on that journey as a couple. I wont play behind someone's back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I take everyone as a 'package', so one specific thing, unless mass murderer etc, would not put me off. No-one - well, probably most - don't like having to get blood from a stone, so a guy who's got some give, and does get to relax, and come out of his shell is needed.

There's a subtle difference between someone who doesn't relax and another who is painfully shy, but it makes the world of difference in interaction with them. Lots of smiles, oneself being relaxed, will usually have someone else relaxing before they know it.

If someone has poor social skills, which is not limited to those who are shy, then it can be a bit tougher. The worst social skills are arrogant pricks, who are prepared to ride roughshod over anyone's feelings, and I steer clear of them.

Some sensitivity on a guy's part is a good thing, and I'd warm to that person over an insensitive bastard anytime.

But, I don't want to have to mould a guy like a lump of plasticine, so that he gets moved this way and that, from position to position, so he gets the drift - it would be a bit too much like working with a manikin sex toy doll.

Everyone usually has great qualities, if they find the time and space to let them surface. I'm fairly patient, but if time is limited, then a shag meet would need to move beyond extreme shyness reasonably quickly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One night out of your life isn't such a big deal, is it? It may be that you don't get on and you get nothing out of it, but a few kind words and some encouragement would no doubt do him the world of good. It's International Women's Day today, do what women do best and support and nurture another human being.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn off for me too, for all the reasons you stated

Me too

I've been there and given them the chance but it has always gone badly, once my mind is in reverse it's pointless.

Voice does it for me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

hard to stay shy when you have your hand on his cock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a shy man a few times and after the first time he said he felt empowered where women were concerned. He was confident at work just not around women. Meeting me gave him a boost he said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Turn off for me too, for all the reasons you stated

Me too

I've been there and given them the chance but it has always gone badly, once my mind is in reverse it's pointless.

Voice does it for me too

I am EXACTLY the same! Voice is major for me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Turn off for me too, for all the reasons you stated

Me too

I've been there and given them the chance but it has always gone badly, once my mind is in reverse it's pointless.

Voice does it for me too

I am EXACTLY the same! Voice is major for me! "

We're back in Kent in April

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Nah he can t be as bad as me, now I m shy*

The saying "Leopards don t change their spots," if his character is a shy person he always will be, enjoy the night out though,

* this statement may not be true,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a paradox...fairly shy until I take my clothes off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give him a chance, could be initial nerves, especially if he hasn't 'dated' for a while. Nothing to loose? "

I agree. Nerves cld b a good thing tho. Shows hes probably a really nice guy. And its sumthing he really wants to do. Better to b that way than too cocky and confident. Most men r arrogant when that way and think they r gods gift.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop scaring the poor lad and send him home to his mum!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop scaring the poor lad and send him home to his mum!"

Thats my worry! Its only a drink so thats fine. ...but if things develop on another occasion..I KNOW I will destroy the poor thing!

Although..I wonder ....hmmmm.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is my problem! I may look like butter wouldn't melt. ..but in truth...I am more likely to burn like hell! It gets hot in my bed! Looks are soooooo deceiving! Off to Sainsburys now...to tease the boys in the vegetable aisle !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a grip, you want to cancel because he's shy? Lol

What makes you think you would eat him for breakfast as well?

He may be a nice guy and an animal in bed!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a grip, you want to cancel because he's shy? Lol

What makes you think you would eat him for breakfast as well?

He may be a nice guy and an animal in bed!!! "

Lol!!!!! You might be right! Heres hoping! Anyway...I have said I will give him a chance. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know they say it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I will test the theory though I am doubtful. I am going to keep the hot one I met the other night! Now theres a man who isnt shy! Lol xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"....but I dont think we are going to be compatible! Help!

Depends if your looking for NSA or a sort of relationship...

NSA, well you must like his profile and picture, and he probably wrote you a good first email, as is expected...

Its a dating site.....so....its a date! Lol! Looking for a relationship ultimately. I use FAB for NSA. "

Ah sorry, missed the word dating site... don't go there, if there is something you don't like about a person you meet on a dating site, don't meet them. The reason will get worse and worse and it willl end,mI'm in a similar situation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread