FabSwingers.com forum: How are you meant to know?!?!

By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Hi my question is if you get to know people and think that they are ok and are interested in playing with you and your interested in playing with them but later find out that they can't "gel" with your other half through someone else telling you not the person you are interested in how are you meant to know that's the case? How do you know how people perceive you? I thought (naively possible) that if people are no interested in continuing a friendship/play mates they would tell you or even if you meet and find they are just not your cup of tea wouldn't it be nicer to tell people so if it's something that's changeable you know and can change it? Today I found out that people find it difficult to gel with my other half and that my other half sometimes gives out the wrong signals to warn people off which understanable puts people off however it would have been nice to have been told this a while ago so it's something we could have improved on! Honesty is by far the best policy! Yes it may sting being told but would rather know then think everything is fine! (Please don't shot me for this post)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree!!! Honesty is always the best policy!! It really helps haha. Constructive criticism x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People generally are too polite to mention it in case it give offense.

Always a predicament

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By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

What I don't get is people ask you to be honest but can't do it on return!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't get is people ask you to be honest but can't do it on return!

Is it the m or f they don't like

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By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

The m he takes a bit of getting use to lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The m he takes a bit of getting use to lol! "

Looking at the picture of him, the other guys in the couple etc are intimidatedby his fitness at 40

It's a hard pill to swallow , and I am in the same boat lol

Don't worry about try single girls for a while , you will get plenty of luck

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By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"The m he takes a bit of getting use to lol!

Looking at the picture of him, the other guys in the couple etc are intimidatedby his fitness at 40

It's a hard pill to swallow , and I am in the same boat lol

Don't worry about try single girls for a while , you will get plenty of luck "

Maybe thanks xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have exactly the same problem all the clubs weve been to lots of people asking is your husband alright.

cus he doesnt look like it or he looks pissed off or he looks like hes going hit some one lol i just say no he always looks like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's just hear say... Why don't you just the other couple out right? For all you know they may have not even said they couldn't gel with your OH..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hate Chinese whispers and try to insist on honesty as I strive to give in return, I would never take negative thoughts from a third party and if it was seriously affecting my perception of someone i would ask the person i had built a relationship about it. you never know what is really behind rumours and chit chat so go for honesty. I think if the site allowed naming and shaming it would quickly lose the players and liars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't believe it unless they said something directly. It might just be jealous people shit stirring. If someone has a problem surely they'd be better off speaking to you, not other people.

Hope your other half doesn't feel bad.

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By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"we have exactly the same problem all the clubs weve been to lots of people asking is your husband alright.

cus he doesnt look like it or he looks pissed off or he looks like hes going hit some one lol i just say no he always looks like that.

Yeah why are people like that! My husband is very quiet especially with people he doesn't know I am quiet bubbly but I to am shy and but we are still quite new to the scene so don't always know how to be in a "play situation" or socially at clubs and that's misconstrued to him being rude or possessive. It would be nice if people just said what we are doing wrong or right!

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By *harma and Greg OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I wouldn't believe it unless they said something directly. It might just be jealous people shit stirring. If someone has a problem surely they'd be better off speaking to you, not other people.

Hope your other half doesn't feel bad. "

Sadly I think what I have been told is correct! I will ask them out right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't believe it unless they said something directly. It might just be jealous people shit stirring. If someone has a problem surely they'd be better off speaking to you, not other people.

Hope your other half doesn't feel bad.

Sadly I think what I have been told is correct! I will ask them out right "

ask them straight x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't believe it unless they said something directly. It might just be jealous people shit stirring. If someone has a problem surely they'd be better off speaking to you, not other people.

Hope your other half doesn't feel bad.

Sadly I think what I have been told is correct! I will ask them out right "

See how they say it. They might be trying to help. Sometimes shy people come across as grumpy, which might be the way people think he is. Not really sure what the answer is, if he sits there smiling all the time people might say he's a loon.

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