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Funerals.

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By *issHottieBottie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Kent

Got a funeral Friday afternoon of a close friend I've known since I was 11 when we started secondary school. Haven't seen him for a few months but we used to hang around together a lot up until I had my boy and had to become responsible!! Lol.

Obviously I'll go to the funeral BUT I really don't want to!!! I hate that eveyuone will be crying and upset and it's gonna be packed out as he was a popular lad and I'd rather just have my memories of him and go to the wake (which no doubt will involve all us old school lot ending up in the pub telling funny stories) that's what I'd like my last memory of him being, not standing in a crematorium listening to religious waffle that I don't believe (it actually makes me angry hearing it all) but I'll feel bad if I don't go!!!

Since my nan died I've not visited her grave once. We were really close but I don't like the idea of going. It would upset me and I don't need to look at her headstone to remember her. I tell my Son stories she told me when I was young and things like that, funerals and cemeteries are horrible!!!!

Phew....glad I got that off my chest.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 03/03/14 20:51:58]

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By *reybearMan
over a year ago

medway

Ithink your attitude is dead right, I have never returned to the crematorium where I said goodbye to my parents but it certainly doesn't stop me thinking of them...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There is no rule that says you have to go to a funeral. I find the shared grief helps me and then the wake is a truly joyful affair leaving that moment of sadness to one side.

As for your Nan, telling your son stories keeps her alive. Visiting her grave doesn't matter to her.

I'm sorry for your loss. Anger is not uncommon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do the service, go to the crem and watch the hearse pull in, privately say your goodbye to him then leave and go to the wake and explain your reason for not attending the actual service if asked, I doubt you will be asked tho as people saw you at the crem and will assume you were at the service, then give him a good send off at the wake

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By *issHottieBottie OP   Woman
over a year ago

Kent


"There is no rule that says you have to go to a funeral. I find the shared grief helps me and then the wake is a truly joyful affair leaving that moment of sadness to one side.

As for your Nan, telling your son stories keeps her alive. Visiting her grave doesn't matter to her.

I'm sorry for your loss. Anger is not uncommon.

"

I'm not angry that he's gone. It's standing listening to religious talk at the funeral that makes me cross! I'm going to make sure that I have a completely non religious funeral.

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