FabSwingers.com forum: dull vanilla life!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being a swinger dont make you the life n soul of the party

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Liven it up a bit. Be rude and naughty to everyone and see what they do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x"

I want some

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I dont know I am finding this problem! It's obviously my issue but struggling to find a way through!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

I feel the same. I was quite happy on normal dating sites until I joined here. Now I fear I'll never meet someone for a normal relationship because I find everyone too boring!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x

I want some

Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you're just not talking to the right people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if all you`ve got to chat about revolves around sex which swinging basically is

ur the dull one

(runs)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Liven it up a bit. Be rude and naughty to everyone and see what they do.

Thats my problem I think! I do and they run a mile! Lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if all you`ve got to chat about revolves around sex which swinging basically is

ur the dull one

(runs)"

I am sure you are right.I am the dull one!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if all you`ve got to chat about revolves around sex which swinging basically is

ur the dull one

(runs)"

I did say I know it's me with the problem so I am not looking to apportion blame anywhere else.

However I am not saying all I have to chat about is sex! I actually have heaps of interests that are nothing to do with sex.

I am just feeling bored. My issue!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I havent met anyone off here in ages and don't chat on the forums like I used to. So it isnt as if I am addicted to sex.

But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x

I want some

Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess."

oh yum this is good!! Next time im putting it on top of a glazed doughnut

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Have a flake and chill the fuck out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Have a flake and chill the fuck out. "

If only I had thought of that! Cadburys flake is obviously the answer! Silly me! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x

I want some

Well you live in Cornwall, it shouldn't be too hard to get your hands on some premium grade frozen creaminess.

oh yum this is good!! Next time im putting it on top of a glazed doughnut

Hey steady on now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can totally relate to that as I'm on a dating site too, I've met more fun compatible people on here. Be nice to find a fellow swinger to date, at least you'd know you were sexually compatible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I dont find them dull as i tend to find lots of things to talk about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know! "

Yes, I got sick of that too - especially when I knew we were just going through the motions and all they wanted was sex! Why bother!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont find them dull as i tend to find lots of things to talk about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help but make innuendos all the time !! I am useless in the vanilla world lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a fit Marine and a sexy doctor on a so called vanilla site. Stimulating conversation and hot sex from both of them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I just cant look at photos of men holding a fish any longer! The same old questions...where do you live, what do you do? Blah blah blah....I am in serious trouble I know!

Yes, I got sick of that too - especially when I knew we were just going through the motions and all they wanted was sex! Why bother!"

I agree there lol that is all they want lol

And yes they all like fishing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straying of the subject of ice cream however, I too had some of my best meets from vanilla dating sites, and found many women who wouldn't normally consider no strings sex soon open up to the idea when given a friendly and intelligent approach.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont find them dull as i tend to find lots of things to talk about

Shutting you up is the problem...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Straying of the subject of ice cream however, I too had some of my best meets from vanilla dating sites, and found many women who wouldn't normally consider no strings sex soon open up to the idea when given a friendly and intelligent approach."

birds of a feather flock together

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

birds of a feather flock together "

...oh right, 'flock' lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I dont find them dull as i tend to find lots of things to talk about

Shutting you up is the problem...

True.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.

I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.

Vanillas talk about sex.

Vanillas have sex.

Vanillas have no strings sex.

Vanillas have fuck buddies.

Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.

Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.

Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.

Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.

So, Dear OP........ be yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.

I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.

Vanillas talk about sex.

Vanillas have sex.

Vanillas have no strings sex.

Vanillas have fuck buddies.

Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.

Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.

Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.

Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.

So, Dear OP........ be yourself.

Saved me typing and put more diplomatically than I would have done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear OP, I trust you will not take the following personally and read it in the general terms it is intended.

I just don't get why so many people (especially single) people do a them and us type thing when referring to 'vanillas'.

Vanillas talk about sex.

Vanillas have sex.

Vanillas have no strings sex.

Vanillas have fuck buddies.

Vanillas can even have 3somes or moresomes.

Vanillas can be kinky, dirty, experimental..... and often own sex toys.

Vanillas can be fucking great in the sack and have high sex drives... just as some people who claim to be swingers are fucking useless.

Being on a swinging site does not in itself make people any different to being vanilla.

So, Dear OP........ be yourself.

Boom!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I dont mind people critiquing me. You may think as you wish . I had already said that I realise the issue is mine and noone elses. I merely said I find it a problem.... for which I have to find a resolution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is lovely with crushed nuts and maple syrup x

I want some

"
you want crushed nuts? Ouch!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

I thought a big percentage was on here too singles wise maybe people are more forthright on here or less inhibited if it is a big percentage of the same people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"being a swinger dont make you the life n soul of the party

I think *some* swingers are dull as their only topic of conversation is sex!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont mind people critiquing me. You may think as you wish . I had already said that I realise the issue is mine and noone elses. I merely said I find it a problem.... for which I have to find a resolution. "

Perhaps you should stop putting labels on people and take them for who they are. Swingers can be boring, too. They're just people, y'know. The fact that they may might opt for more kinky sex than a vanilla person doesn't make them per definition more interesting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I didnt put labels on people. I only use the term vanilla to differentiate from someone I might chat to on fab. Thats all. Anyway. ..I have already said I know its me with the problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have hidden my profile for some time now as I dont want to meet people just for sex. However I still find chatting on the forums occasionally. ..can be interesting. Most people are nice with some exceptions and I am aware of a small minority who never have anything nice to say to me no matter what...but I have learnt to ignore those individuals. But I felt I was starting to become more sexually driven than anything else and that isnt healthy when there is lack of balance in life. Contrary to what views some may have pf me...I am normally a very chatty person and have a wide range of interests so finding people interesting isnt normally an issue for me...or it didn't used to be. Hence why I felt that maybe I am going through some stuff of my own where I am struggling to relate to people in everyday life when the subject isnt slightly naughty!!. I KNOW that isnt good hence the reason for the thread. Maybe a case of too much of a good thing....not sure....but I see that some have similar experiences which is reassuring that it isnt just me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it. "

I am sorry but I think you are missing the point of my thread. Maybe I haven't explained myself very well. The point is I am struggling with something I didnt used to struggle with so telling me about the art of conversation doesnt really make any difference. Sorry.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not a choice of vanilla or swinging just need to decide on what you want out of life and go for it x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it.

Is it that you didn't used to find people dull on normal dating sites? Perhaps you need to get to know them a bit better so the chat can flow better and start having a bit of banter once you feel each other out a bit??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adgeeMan
over a year ago

Sw Scotland

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Have a flake and chill the fuck out. "

A 96er? Ermmmm I mean a 99er

Oops

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you're holding back a little because it's a vanilla sight & they're doing likewise - maybe everyone's bored, secretly or otherwise.

Yeah, it's one hell of a contrast - Fab & vanilla; maybe you could liven it up a bit with a couple of cadbury flakes.........is that a 69 or 99? If the latter, just use one!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Have a flake and chill the fuck out.

A 96er? Ermmmm I mean a 99er

Oops"
great minds & all that - lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nevermind. I haven't managed to explain the problem I am having very well so people dont understand what I am trying to say. Probably all part of the same problem. I have heard how some people struggle to have a 'normal' relationship after been on the swinging scene for a long time as a single person. I am struggling with all that. Thats it. I am just trying to reclaim some balance as I believe it started to take over my life a bit for a while.....so I struggle to relate to people who I cant have an open conversation about sex with. ... or at least those I have tried to ..have run away. Its MY problem I know. "

It is your problem as you say but talking does help, I think I understand what you're saying but I'm struggling to get over what I'm trying to say!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe taking a break from fabs may help but then again if you enjoy the lifestyle why not try and find someone that you have a common interests with and who you can relate too. Someone mentioned a fabs speed dating thing this would be so cool for a social idea purely for fabs singlets though x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now before I say more...I KNOW the problem is mine but I cant help it!

I occasionally frequent a vanilla dating site. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Well no, nothing wrong with that EXCEPT I find everyone I talk to on vanilla sites as soooooooo dull! God!!!!

I am starting to think that one of the reasons I feel this way is because I have been on this scene for too long?

I do feel there is something seriously wrong with me!!! Lol!!!

Conversation is a two way thing, if you want it to be more exciting then inject some excitement into it.

I think its probably a combination of many things ...chatting to people I find I have little in common with ...compared with my forthright nature lol... E g. I dont understand why people are on a dating site if they dont know if they want to date! Maybe its harsh of me so many dont know what they want so they mess people around. I think the swinging lifestyle does tend to encourage people to be open about saying what they want so that characteristic is something that has rubbed off on me over time so I say what I want generally. Not aggressively. I mean ..if I just want to date, I say that. But if I want a relationship ultimately then I say that! But many say they want one thing but mean the other. I am used to more direct honesty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I tried that. Disaster! Lol!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone can relate to where you're coming from - you're comparing chalk with cheese.

Have you tried taking a break from Fab to gather your thoughts?

I've never been on a vanilla site but if I did after Fab, I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same way as you!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its simple if the people to chat to on the normal dating site run away when you are you then they aint for you. The problem isnt you its everyone else

Its like most things you just have to keep looking until you find the right person

Remember if someones going to like you its got to be the real you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread