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"My ex husband was a feeder and I didnt realise he was actually doing it (foundation of how an abusive relationship starts) as it was subtle little things at first "if you fancy chocolate I will go get you some", or "you work so hard I dont like you coming home to cook lets have a take away" etc. When we were out he never liked other men looking at me so had jealous possesive tendancies, which again I didnt see until it was too late. Before I knew what was happening I'd gone from a size 14 to a size 36. Then one day regardless of how"attractive" he found me, I looked in the mirror and something snapped in my and I lost 10 stone, I refused to re-gain the weight and now were divorced as he left me for a larger lady. I'm now a size 18/20 and the most confident and happy with my body ive ever been, regardless of all he put me through " I've watched these programmes and these men have their reasons for liking larger ladies but this is abuse in my opinion. Good for you in losing the weight and him ![]() | |||
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"My ex husband was a feeder and I didnt realise he was actually doing it (foundation of how an abusive relationship starts) as it was subtle little things at first "if you fancy chocolate I will go get you some", or "you work so hard I dont like you coming home to cook lets have a take away" etc. When we were out he never liked other men looking at me so had jealous possesive tendancies, which again I didnt see until it was too late. Before I knew what was happening I'd gone from a size 14 to a size 36. Then one day regardless of how"attractive" he found me, I looked in the mirror and something snapped in my and I lost 10 stone, I refused to re-gain the weight and now were divorced as he left me for a larger lady. I'm now a size 18/20 and the most confident and happy with my body ive ever been, regardless of all he put me through " wow Thank god you could see what he was doing to you . And its lovely to here how positive you are now . Well done . xx | |||
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"Someone offered to do that with me. Told me I need to put weight on ![]() Hurry up ya burgers getting cold ![]() | |||
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"Someone offered to do that with me. Told me I need to put weight on ![]() Well I hope you told them where to go I know I would........ your in control of your body not others. XX | |||
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"Someone offered to do that with me. Told me I need to put weight on ![]() ![]() Told you, I'm ok as I am ![]() | |||
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"Someone offered to do that with me. Told me I need to put weight on ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Someone offered to do that with me. Told me I need to put weight on ![]() ![]() As if a burger anywhere near you would be around long enough to get cold! ![]() | |||
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"my hubby is not so much a feeder but he always seems to destroy any diet I go on . my ex husband used to bring home Chinese meals for me till I realised what he was doing and I said one day "ok bring any home today and regret it. he did so I put it all on a plate and he kept saying eat up it will get cold so I said you want it you have it and poured it all over his head .. he never did it again" My god really over his head a Chinese . I love it if I am taken out for a meal or a take away but once a week maybe two if loads on .. but I will not have eaten a lot in the day so feel its fine . I could not cope with a man feeding me up.. it would not feel right to me. | |||
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"Lol....Its not my bag and if a bloke wanted to feed me up i would tell him to burger off... ![]() Don't forget the fries ![]() | |||
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"Cant believe everyone blaming partners for gaining weight. You can just say no to food you know. I get there is a very small percentage of cases where it is abuse but in the whole its a mixture of a bunch of things. If you dont want to be big, you dont have to be. " I think you've missed what this thread is about. As for "everyone" blaming their partner, really? ![]() | |||
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"My ex did that to me I was a size 10 when we met then went to a size 20 I lost all my friends ect because of him. After I kicked him out I lost weight got down to a size 14/16 and now on here meeting some really nice people and enjoying myself because im in control now. ![]() ![]() Really xx I am glad you got your own life back and in control now and living life for you. xxx | |||
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"Cant believe everyone blaming partners for gaining weight. You can just say no to food you know. I get there is a very small percentage of cases where it is abuse but in the whole its a mixture of a bunch of things. If you dont want to be big, you dont have to be. I think you've missed what this thread is about. As for "everyone" blaming their partner, really? ![]() ![]() | |||
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"My ex did that to me I was a size 10 when we met then went to a size 20 I lost all my friends ect because of him. After I kicked him out I lost weight got down to a size 14/16 and now on here meeting some really nice people and enjoying myself because im in control now. ![]() ![]() good on you I say your looking good x | |||
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"HAHA on here Hannibal kills woman by eating their muffin lol" Haha imagen that ![]() | |||
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" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You good man . You keep making her tea , lol Its not like she is sitting on the sofa all day and you're making food every 5 mins and stuffing her . xx | |||
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"Cant believe everyone blaming partners for gaining weight. You can just say no to food you know. I get there is a very small percentage of cases where it is abuse but in the whole its a mixture of a bunch of things. If you dont want to be big, you dont have to be. " You've missed the point completely and given the responses some ladies have posted (myself included) its a very insensitive reply to make. In my relationship it certainly wasnt my fault, as I think is evident by me getting out of the situation/changing it once I realised what was happening | |||
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"It can work the other way I was with this guy years ago and I am a size 8 and he used to tell me constantly I was fat and used to portion my food out. I would eat in secret" Yes you can get that too ..... its not good to live like that and not right people have too .Its all to do with control and power not right. | |||
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"my hubby is not so much a feeder but he always seems to destroy any diet I go on . my ex husband used to bring home Chinese meals for me till I realised what he was doing and I said one day "ok bring any home today and regret it. he did so I put it all on a plate and he kept saying eat up it will get cold so I said you want it you have it and poured it all over his head .. he never did it againMy god really over his head a Chinese . I love it if I am taken out for a meal or a take away but once a week maybe two if loads on .. but I will not have eaten a lot in the day so feel its fine . I could not cope with a man feeding me up.. it would not feel right to me." can I add ..we split not long after this .. he realised he couldn't control me any more | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() its not worth the arguments if you refuse if you have no will power its not easy | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() I cant imagine there are many people who have argued because they refused to eat a meal. And I get its hard if there is little will power but the feader cant be blamed for someones lack of will power. | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() Look up feeders and you will see .Its about control its about power . There are women who end up bed-bound or needing a wheelchair because they become so obese they can’t care for themselves. And some go into the situation knowing this will be the result. For women who are only a little heavy, the feeding causes them to gain weight, raising their risks of things like high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, diabetes, stroke and other maladies. For women who are already obese who get into a feeder/feedee relationship, they keep themselves extremely heavy and their health dangers skyrocket. Adults have the right to engage in whatever behaviour they want, destructive or not. But feeders of obese women go beyond caring for their partners no matter what their sizes they contribute to their poor health. | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() It's more complicated than that. Often the feedee wants to please their partner or has emotional problems and equates food with love and care. We're not talking about people who overeat and blame someone else. This is about a specific type of relationship where one person encourages the other to overeat, or manipulates them into doing so. It can be very subtle to begin with. They can get them hooked on food, confusing it with love sometimes, just like getting someone hooked on any other substance in order to make them dependent. The responses saying people can say no to food is like telling any other victim of abuse it's their fault because they let it happen. | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() In an abusive relationship the abuser may go nuts if the other person doesn't do the smallest thing. Perhaps the person looked at the abuser in the wrong way. Or they didn't like the tone of voice used. If you understood this you'd understand the post you are commenting on. | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() They can be blamed for being manipulative and using emotional means to encourage their partner to eat and getting them hooked on food though. Some people are very controlling and can be very subtle to get what they want. | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() yes your right in what you say . xx ![]() | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() Yeah ok fair point. ![]() | |||
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"I guess the guys must force feed them ![]() Yes they can to a very high degree as well, not been with a feeder but i have been with a subtle controller, where others can see it happening but not you... Ruby | |||
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