FabSwingers.com forum: Should a woman pay on a first date?

By *eardandgiggles OP Couple
over a year ago

wakefield

Im have been on many meets and always make a point of paying my way. This has been met in many ways. Some men happy to let me, some want to take it in turns and others out and out refuse or find in rude or insulting that I would ask.

Im confused....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think the person who does the inviting: pays

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but it is nice to offer.

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By *lassyandadventurousMan
over a year ago

England and Wales

I think the man should pay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Offer and see how the man reacts. I don't like having a stand up argument with a man about paying but some stand down if you are firm and insisting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I been on few meets and its free as we meet in my flat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I offer, they refuse. Have bought wine and brownies recently to take with me

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I offer to pay some or half etc but mostly I get told off for offering

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I prefer to pay half but if I offer and they decline, I accept graciously.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a date or a meet ??

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I offer and I take it in turns and I have come to accept the gift when it is sincerely offered.

I try and I establish what the other party is comfortable with and don't make a big deal of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think the man should pay, but i wouldnt mind paying if he was really nice and didnt have much money.

he would have to be something special.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

50/50 seems the way forward to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should always offer, im happy to pay my share but if a guy refuses to take my money im not going to spoil a meet by arguing over a few quid, so if he insists on paying after i have offered I'll let him

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Personally I always like to pay as gesture of friendship. I do like a lady to offer to share for the same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm old school, always pay,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try to pay half although there have been times I can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always try to pay my half, and sometimes for both meals if there was a lot of mileage involved to get where we are. Fair is fair.

It hardly ever works, mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50/50 for meeting socially between couples or a couple and single man I think is fair. As for singles to meet, it's nice for the man to pay, but for me as a woman, even though I like a gentleman to pay, I would still be polite and offer to pay, and leave it up to him to accept or refuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always offer to pay but am happy with what the other wants or is comfortable with.

Not worth a row about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should both 'go dutch'

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never expect a Lady to pay.

It would make me feel guilty about stealing her Purse and Watch

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....

your mailbox will burst

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

went out with a bloke who expected me to pay for everything soon dumped him 50 50 is fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend at work went on a vanilla date she met on a popular site and he said he couldn't bring his wallet as his dad had taken it out by mistake thinking it was his so she had to buy the drinks all evening and to make things worse, he was about 5 stone heavier than his pic suggested!! Oh the pitfalls of dating lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm having this debate with another fabster, going there next weekend and having takeaway Friday and then out Saturday... I want to pay my way and he is thinking about it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good old etiquette again. On a first date it's polite for a woman to offer to pay half, and equally polite for the man to refuse and pay the whole bill. The woman should send him a thank you card, and if there's a second date, go halves.

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By *tupidityDictatesWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

I make it clear when arranging where to go etc that I will at least pay my share.

I feel really rude about the fact that I am expected to freeload just because I have a vagina. It just isn't my style, the meal/coffee whatever was for my benefit too, it's not like I have gone out of my way to do the male a favour, I will get pleasure of it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....

your mailbox will burst"

Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.

If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don't mind paying or at least go 50/50, its very old fashioned to think the man should pay for everything especially if I have instigated the meet and booked the hotel etc.

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

"The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....

your mailbox will burst

Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.

If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples

For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....

your mailbox will burst

Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.

If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples

For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?

please take this in the spirit it is meant and being the first guy to speak to you at the bar that Saturday, I fully appreciate your entry into swinging.

I held a very similar _iew to you 7/8 years ago....

there is much fun to be had, fantastic people but there is a small element who use swinging for all the wrong reasons.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A date should be negotiable but in my _iew will set the tone for the rest of your relationships so I would opt for 50/50. A swinging meet should be 50/50 or the nsa part of it is compromised for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i met someone who bought me a meal i would pay for the drinks. my husband has always payed for the drinks and the meal though, one of the reasons i was attracted to him because he was generous.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"A date should be negotiable but in my _iew will set the tone for the rest of your relationships so I would opt for 50/50. A swinging meet should be 50/50 or the nsa part of it is compromised for me."

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By *ebsCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Orpington/london

"I think the person who does the inviting: pays"

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I prefer to pay my own way when I'm out

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

50/50

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

"The lady should never pay.

In any circumstance / situation

in the swinging world, I wouldn't utter that too loudly....

your mailbox will burst

Oh lordy, I didn't realise we'd taken a trip back to the 1940's.

If I meet someone I pay my share, only right to me, simples

For sure, old fashioned. But surely sometimes its nice for things to be done right?

please take this in the spirit it is meant and being the first guy to speak to you at the bar that Saturday, I fully appreciate your entry into swinging.

I held a very similar _iew to you 7/8 years ago....

there is much fun to be had, fantastic people but there is a small element who use swinging for all the wrong reasons.

Kind wise words... thank you

Much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would always offer to go halfs but I'm a little old fashioned and like to be treated like a lady aswell as act like one ( well when I'm out in public anyway )

Miss giggles xx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I always go halves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pay my way, don't ever assume men will do so. This is swinging not dating for romance (although I'm married to the first man I met through a sex site!) and as such I agree it up-front.

I think just have a chat and do what you are both comfortable with.

Don't see why out-dated social norms have to apply to swinging personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would always offer to go halfs but I'm a little old fashioned and like to be treated like a lady aswell as act like one ( well when I'm out in public anyway )

Miss giggles xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you should both 'go dutch'

Think I would assume I was footing the bill as a single guy, but would not be offended if the other party wanted to contribute. Slightly off topic but anyone know why we use the term going Dutch?

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

a useful thread as i'm out tomorrow on a meet with someone i've seen before but we're out to dinner. I'll make sure I've ways of payment but be gracious and not my normally gobby self and except a treat if offered. ty xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im have been on many meets and always make a point of paying my way. This has been met in many ways. Some men happy to let me, some want to take it in turns and others out and out refuse or find in rude or insulting that I would ask.

Im confused...."

Iv never let a women pay on a first date and i allways let the women pic where where she wants to meet and where she feels relaxed after all so many wierdos on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pay my own way, I also carry a stash of luncheon vouchers

Milk tray martha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pay...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst i tend to offer to pay fact is with equal rights etc why should they not pay if they offer.

Cannot have it all ways really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a social meet recently and of course we were fully prepared to pay our portion, but when asked how to split the check the gentleman said one check would be fine. We said we'd pay, he said don't worry about it, so we said thank you and paid the tip.

I think the thing that was more different to me is that this was only a social meet to see if we'd all click.

It clearly depends on the person(s) involved. I at least like to offer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man asks he should pay.

If a woman asks she should be prepared to too.

If you can't agree... Split the bill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always 50/50 ... Whether with a guy or a girl .

No one has eluded to the possible way a meet could be perceived if one party paid .

Take for example a meet if you arrange to initially have a drink or two .... That's £15 . Then perhaps a club , go as a couple £30 ..... Two more drinks £15 .... So £60 in all and no meal .

No reason not to go halves , as there is no pressure to play as one party has paid for everything .

And if the recipient of the free night plays, simply because they got it all for free ... Thats no different to prostitution is it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a date I'd offer but if he insisted I'd let him pay. On a meet I pay my own way so that nothing is expected because he put his hand in his pocket

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By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

Initially i did the 50/50 as i didnt want to feel liked I owed anyone anything, if they werent for me no one was any the worse off. If it becomes a more regular meet its easier to give and take

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been for a meal but if I did I would offer to pay, usually only go for drinks, if we have more than one I will always get the second one, its a social not a date for me..... But I don't pay for hotels ... If he wants to meet me in a private place its down to him to arrange that place... Or I don't meet him!!! His choice

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies. "

You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies. "

Perfect

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.

You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!"

Oh yea jam haha

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.

You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!

Oh yea jam haha"

I thought you had Angel Delight sarnies with Julie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.

You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!

Oh yea jam haha

I thought you had Angel Delight sarnies with Julie.

The angel delight was pudding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think the man should pay, but i wouldnt mind paying if he was really nice and didnt have much money.

he would have to be something special.

Oh, well, - would you like fries & shake with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I was taught this by my dad never let a man pay for you unless you feel happy he wont make you pay it back his way. I never accept drinks from guys and pay half always. Oreo has learnt its easier not to argue with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/02/14 21:54:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take a packed lunch and give them one of my sarnies.

You fibber on our first I brought sarnies lmao!!!!!

Oh yea jam haha"

Reminds me you must owe me one lol

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

If a woman is financially independent I see no reason for her not to pay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care I'm not skint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pay as they might be asked for id haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend at work went on a vanilla date she met on a popular site and he said he couldn't bring his wallet as his dad had taken it out by mistake thinking it was his so she had to buy the drinks all evening and to make things worse, he was about 5 stone heavier than his pic suggested!! Oh the pitfalls of dating lol"

Are you sure that it wasn't actually his dad?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im confused...."

Meets or dates? They are different aren't they? Either way I prefer to pay my own way I don't like to be beholden to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i Pay half all the time,meets are not vanilla dating,last night i payed half hotel,my meal and took turns buying drinks,i always chat to the meet about going halfs all the time so it all sorted,wouldnt expect a meet to pay it all, i am always skint by my pride

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I offer to pay my share, as it keeps things clean and uncomplicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women should pay on every date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect the man to pay but I did pay one occasion where I completely messed a meet up so was my way of apologising. Never had a disagreement with anyone over who pays

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