FabSwingers.com forum: What's mine is ours... subject to negotiation

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's easy to say that the money someone has or hasn't got is irrelevant when it comes to falling in love... but this can often not be the case when setting up home together.

When it comes to second/third/seventh time around and you have built up assets...particularly property... what do you see as the fairest way of doing things?

Let's say for situation 'A', both of you own your own house:

Do you both sell and pool the money.

One move into the other's house... then should the other be sold and split or does the owner keep it as theirs?

Let's say for situation 'B' one has their own house and the other rents:

Would it cause problems for the owner to move in with the renter, pay a bit towards the rent whilst renting out their own and banking the money?

What do you think is fair?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'd say each situation is individual. The couple need to agree it between themselves based on their circumstances.

There are so many questions - do either have children, do they want children, do either have debts, how long have they been together, do they each have similar or drastically different incomes...?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I wouldn't

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There are so many questions - do either have children, do they want children, do either have debts, how long have they been together, do they each have similar or drastically different incomes...?"

OK what are your thoughts if the answers are:

Long enough to want to live together

Errrm.... let's say similar.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

There are so many questions - do either have children, do they want children, do either have debts, how long have they been together, do they each have similar or drastically different incomes...?

OK what are your thoughts if the answers are:

Long enough to want to live together

Errrm.... let's say similar."

That there are still a lot of questions.

Is either house large enough/suitable for their needs?

Does either (or both) particularly want to keep their house?

Is either house more convenient in terms of location for jobs etc?

I'd say selling both and pooling the money is fair. I'd say keeping both houses but putting both in joint names would be fair. I'd say moving in to one, selling the other and either splitting the money or regarding it all as joint funds would be fair.

It depends what each person wants.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

For situation B... not sure what I think. More thought needed.

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By *unwmidscplCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

both own houses live in one rent other .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both keep their own houses and don't live together.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Both live in the rented property and rent the other place out and see how the relationship pans out..it's easier to walk away if it goes tits up without having to sell or buy one out if you have brought a property together...if it's all hunky dory in say 18 months down the road then consider buying together

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Both live in the rented property and rent the other place out and see how the relationship pans out..it's easier to walk away if it goes tits up without having to sell or buy one out if you have brought a property together...if it's all hunky dory in say 18 months down the road then consider buying together

Most landlords are cool with someone else moving in....most just want just to have the rent paid and not for the property to be destroyed...let's a reasonable request for someone to move in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If both houses are owned. They can decide what's better to live in as one house maybe small, etc. Then one person can sell their house and give it to their partner and in return out their name on the deeds jointly.

If one person owns their place. Then the other person can move out and move into the other persons home and maybe ask for a loan to pay for half of the other persons place or come to an arrangement financially, but make sure you set it up so the home owner doesn't lose out. If things go pair shaped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I'm about to be slated but from personal experience, & friends who I've known, it's always been the guy that got stung!!

*awaits wearing full-facial crash helmet!!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I know I'm about to be slated but from personal experience, & friends who I've known, it's always been the guy that got stung!!

*awaits wearing full-facial crash helmet!!

The guy's got stung when moving in with someone? How?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm about to be slated but from personal experience, & friends who I've known, it's always been the guy that got stung!!

*awaits wearing full-facial crash helmet!!

That's why I believe things should be signed in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's mine is yours... Etc... Blah blah..

Until it's time to break up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm about to be slated but from personal experience, & friends who I've known, it's always been the guy that got stung!!

*awaits wearing full-facial crash helmet!!

The guy's got stung when moving in with someone? How?

Read the op & report back

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I would prefer a fresh start in something jointly owned/rented. Trying to move stuff into personal space is always difficult and a clean slate where both have no prior attachment might make that easier.

I would also keep all assets at the point of getting together separate and agree that. A joint account for the new situation and home and keep some autonomy. Anything purchased after getting together is jointly owned.

I would want separate bathrooms whatever happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a note on a joint account.

Is that wise, there have been cases where one party has secretly borrowed say £80k, blown it and the other party is then FULLY liable for the loan.

Keep your own accounts and have a joint kitty for all household expenses?

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