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"Oh wow ... I'm honered! " No one else is writing yet. It's just going to be one line. Stop feeling honoured and get out of this thread. | |||
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"I want to rummage down you pants with a brillo pad, whilst wearing my sexy double layer Marigolds. I'm very skill with a scouring pad. Then with you laying on my kitchen floor I will stand above you, Vileda supermop in hand, ready to get you really wet. I can feel the soft grip handle and hear the splashing of the lightly disinfected water as I dunk and dunk and then press firmly in the super squeeze rotary basket. I can't wait to run the SuperMocio soft mop head up and down your body, tease in anticipation of pushing the X5 steam nozzle deep inside you and wondering if I can Pledge multi-surface spray your toenails. If you want to know what happens next, reply. And tell me what you are wearing xxx " You had me at rummage I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. Please reply | |||
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" "We meet in the lobby of the hotel, pretending that we have business meeting as it is only 10am." " You are naked apart from your tight underwear, and I am in my favourite rubber apron (the one with the bloodstains)... | |||
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"I want to rummage down you pants with a brillo pad, whilst wearing my sexy double layer Marigolds. I'm very skill with a scouring pad. Then with you laying on my kitchen floor I will stand above you, Vileda supermop in hand, ready to get you really wet. I can feel the soft grip handle and hear the splashing of the lightly disinfected water as I dunk and dunk and then press firmly in the super squeeze rotary basket. I can't wait to run the SuperMocio soft mop head up and down your body, tease in anticipation of pushing the X5 steam nozzle deep inside you and wondering if I can Pledge multi-surface spray your toenails. If you want to know what happens next, reply. And tell me what you are wearing xxx You had me at rummage I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. Please reply" Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pajamas, you kinky bitch. I bet they are winceyette with a tie string at the waist. Slightly bobbling between the thighs and in need of a good wash and iron.... mmmmmmmmmmmm dirty. I could give them a good washing and I'd love to show you how good I am at adding fabric conditioner, unscrewing the top and pouring the thick slimy Lenor into the third compartment in the washer drawer. Do you want to get steamy when I put my iron on a synthetic setting? | |||
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"I want to rummage down you pants with a brillo pad, whilst wearing my sexy double layer Marigolds. I'm very skill with a scouring pad. Then with you laying on my kitchen floor I will stand above you, Vileda supermop in hand, ready to get you really wet. I can feel the soft grip handle and hear the splashing of the lightly disinfected water as I dunk and dunk and then press firmly in the super squeeze rotary basket. I can't wait to run the SuperMocio soft mop head up and down your body, tease in anticipation of pushing the X5 steam nozzle deep inside you and wondering if I can Pledge multi-surface spray your toenails. If you want to know what happens next, reply. And tell me what you are wearing xxx You had me at rummage I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. Please reply Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pajamas, you kinky bitch. I bet they are winceyette with a tie string at the waist. Slightly bobbling between the thighs and in need of a good wash and iron.... mmmmmmmmmmmm dirty. I could give them a good washing and I'd love to show you how good I am at adding fabric conditioner, unscrewing the top and pouring the thick slimy Lenor into the third compartment in the washer drawer. Do you want to get steamy when I put my iron on a synthetic setting? " I like it hot, put it on the linen setting | |||
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"I want to rummage down you pants with a brillo pad, whilst wearing my sexy double layer Marigolds. I'm very skill with a scouring pad. Then with you laying on my kitchen floor I will stand above you, Vileda supermop in hand, ready to get you really wet. I can feel the soft grip handle and hear the splashing of the lightly disinfected water as I dunk and dunk and then press firmly in the super squeeze rotary basket. I can't wait to run the SuperMocio soft mop head up and down your body, tease in anticipation of pushing the X5 steam nozzle deep inside you and wondering if I can Pledge multi-surface spray your toenails. If you want to know what happens next, reply. And tell me what you are wearing xxx You had me at rummage I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. Please reply Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pajamas, you kinky bitch. I bet they are winceyette with a tie string at the waist. Slightly bobbling between the thighs and in need of a good wash and iron.... mmmmmmmmmmmm dirty. I could give them a good washing and I'd love to show you how good I am at adding fabric conditioner, unscrewing the top and pouring the thick slimy Lenor into the third compartment in the washer drawer. Do you want to get steamy when I put my iron on a synthetic setting? I like it hot, put it on the linen setting" Switch it right up to heave denim for a truly hot and steamy session | |||
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"I want to rummage down you pants with a brillo pad, whilst wearing my sexy double layer Marigolds. I'm very skill with a scouring pad. Then with you laying on my kitchen floor I will stand above you, Vileda supermop in hand, ready to get you really wet. I can feel the soft grip handle and hear the splashing of the lightly disinfected water as I dunk and dunk and then press firmly in the super squeeze rotary basket. I can't wait to run the SuperMocio soft mop head up and down your body, tease in anticipation of pushing the X5 steam nozzle deep inside you and wondering if I can Pledge multi-surface spray your toenails. If you want to know what happens next, reply. And tell me what you are wearing xxx You had me at rummage I'm wearing Christmas pajamas. Please reply Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pajamas, you kinky bitch. I bet they are winceyette with a tie string at the waist. Slightly bobbling between the thighs and in need of a good wash and iron.... mmmmmmmmmmmm dirty. I could give them a good washing and I'd love to show you how good I am at adding fabric conditioner, unscrewing the top and pouring the thick slimy Lenor into the third compartment in the washer drawer. Do you want to get steamy when I put my iron on a synthetic setting? I like it hot, put it on the linen setting" Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm a man who knows his way around and iron dial settings. If I unplug the swivel connector power lead, will you fill my water tank? I want to watch you pour it in and fill it up nice and slow. I will glide my thumb softly over the extra steam/water spay button, circling round and round watching you shudder and waiting for you to beg me to pump down hard on the trigger and spray a big damp patch onto the crotch of your pyjamas. You like that don't you, you kinky bitch. | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out "Ooops! I forgot about him. Maybe he was waiting for the mould cleaner and all that Lenor was just too soft for him? | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out "Name and shame!!! | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Name and shame!!!"Are you a dirty boy then? A real dirty boy that needs a spanking?  | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out "Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard.... | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Ooops! I forgot about him.
Maybe he was waiting for the mould cleaner and all that Lenor was just too soft for him?
"F...f...f...forgot? | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Name and shame!!!
Are you a dirty boy then? A real dirty boy that needs a spanking? "I'm good, and clean and ironed | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Name and shame!!!
Are you a dirty boy then? A real dirty boy that needs a spanking?
I'm good, and clean and ironed "Shame | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard...."I can't go on.... I feel used. One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead! | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!"The stalker has cut the line she is scaling the trellis to the bedroom intent on getting her man! | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!
The stalker has cut the line she is scaling the trellis to the bedroom intent on getting her man! "As long as she doesn't remove the watermarks from his stand along shower or put limescale remover down the loo, I don't care. Do what you want with him... but leave his bathroom for me! | |||
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"The stalker has cut the line she is scaling the trellis to the bedroom intent on getting her man! " The Milk Tray Woman has captured her prey. Maybe she should show him her dark side now or keep it until they have a rollover  | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!
The stalker has cut the line she is scaling the trellis to the bedroom intent on getting her man!
As long as she doesn't remove the watermarks from his stand along shower or put limescale remover down the loo, I don't care.
Do what you want with him... but leave his bathroom for me!"She sees her prey in the shower behind the shower curtain... she creeps forward wet of knicker long of lust and pulls the egg whisker out and climbs atop the buffet........ | |||
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"... the buffet........" No one said there was food! 
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles. | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Ooops! I forgot about him.
Maybe he was waiting for the mould cleaner and all that Lenor was just too soft for him?
F...f...f...forgot?
"I got distracted by Scotland. I'll let you have a Leibniz to go with whatever Polo has in store for you. | |||
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"... the buffet........ No one said there was food!
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles."He gets his at Waitrose. | |||
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"... the buffet........ No one said there was food!
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles.
He gets his at Waitrose."I go to Waitrose to tease myself, a bit like going to a fancy strip club, I then go and do my shopping at Aldi. | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!"Ready for round two? There's talc all over the bathroom floor that need hoovering up and there's a spider in the plug hole of my bath ... I've got my ball gag in and I'm covered in butter ... But enough about my day job. | |||
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"... the buffet........ No one said there was food!
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles.
He gets his at Waitrose.
I go to Waitrose to tease myself, a bit like going to a fancy strip club, I then go and do my shopping at Aldi."You tease. I've never been to an Aldi. | |||
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"... the buffet........ No one said there was food!
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles.
He gets his at Waitrose.
I go to Waitrose to tease myself, a bit like going to a fancy strip club, I then go and do my shopping at Aldi.
You tease. I've never been to an Aldi.
"It's exactly like waitrose but German, and cheaper, and the quality isn't as good. | |||
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"... the buffet........ No one said there was food!
If I'd have known that I'd have been down the A14 hours ago for a sausage roll and finger nibbles.
He gets his at Waitrose.
I go to Waitrose to tease myself, a bit like going to a fancy strip club, I then go and do my shopping at Aldi.
You tease. I've never been to an Aldi.
It's exactly like waitrose but German, and cheaper, and the quality isn't as good."It's also in the wrong direction for me and doesn't have any parking. | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!
Ready for round two?
There's talc all over the bathroom floor that need hoovering up and there's a spider in the plug hole of my bath ... I've got my ball gag in and I'm covered in butter ... But enough about my day job."How could I not forgive you when you just know how to push all the right buttons.... , rinse hold, extra spin and crank it up to 60 degrees......... you kinky sod! | |||
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"Feckin' timewaster.... gets a bit of dirty talk, shoots his sacks clean and buggers off! Didn't even get a chance to get the Vim out
Don't stop now! I need to know what your going to do with that vim? And hopefully use that venitian blind dusted I've seen in your open cupboard....
I can't go on.... I feel used.
One minute there's photos of plug holes and plungers being sent to-and-fro, the next thing there's a rustle of Kleenex ultra balm and the phone goes dead!
Ready for round two?
There's talc all over the bathroom floor that need hoovering up and there's a spider in the plug hole of my bath ... I've got my ball gag in and I'm covered in butter ... But enough about my day job.
How could I not forgive you when you just know how to push all the right buttons.... , rinse hold, extra spin and crank it up to 60 degrees......... you kinky sod!"60?!?!? I'm aroused by the sheer danger factor that is my electric bill. Pour in some woolite and shrink my delicates. | |||
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" 60?!?!? I'm aroused by the sheer danger factor that is my electric bill. Pour in some woolite and shrink my delicates." Sit back in the chair and think of those units clocking up, whilst I softly ease apart the perforated tear strip along the twin pack of Plenty kitchen roll. I’ll moisten the Spontex non-scratch washing-up pad, before gently squeezing on some antibacterial washing –up liquid. Watch as I firmly squeeze and lather up the thick white foam which drips down my forearms, mischievously gathering at my elbows , waiting to descend on you. And finally when the soft bubbling foam falls to caresses your bare chest and stomach, I’ll rip off a new multipurpose microfiber cloth from the economy size roll and wipe your body clean. As the sexual tension builds I’ll deep clean your upholstery and wet-vac your carpet. I’ll damp dust your skirting boards and chamois your windows, soaking up every drip and smear. And just when you think there is no higher plateau of ecstasy… I’m gonna tumble dry your Christmas pyjamas for at least an hour, with two anti-static fragrance sheets in the drum. | |||
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"Then the diarrhea kicked in! He hoped to god she wouldn't notice but the seepage had started and her nose was twinight. If only I had got a boner before the coffee! Well if im lucky she's a scat lover if not its a long way home. " Oi! Cristo! NO! You will not come in here spoiling my erotic cleaning foreplay with your talk of runny poo! | |||
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"Then the diarrhea kicked in! He hoped to god she wouldn't notice but the seepage had started and her nose was twinight. If only I had got a boner before the coffee! Well if im lucky she's a scat lover if not its a long way home. Oi! Cristo! NO! You will not come in here spoiling my erotic cleaning foreplay with your talk of runny poo!" Errr ok substitute oxtail soup  | |||
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"Then the diarrhea kicked in! He hoped to god she wouldn't notice but the seepage had started and her nose was twinight. If only I had got a boner before the coffee! Well if im lucky she's a scat lover if not its a long way home. Oi! Cristo! NO! You will not come in here spoiling my erotic cleaning foreplay with your talk of runny poo! Errr ok substitute oxtail soup
"I won't ask where. | |||
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" 60?!?!? I'm aroused by the sheer danger factor that is my electric bill. Pour in some woolite and shrink my delicates. Sit back in the chair and think of those units clocking up, whilst I softly ease apart the perforated tear strip along the twin pack of Plenty kitchen roll. I’ll moisten the Spontex non-scratch washing-up pad, before gently squeezing on some antibacterial washing –up liquid. Watch as I firmly squeeze and lather up the thick white foam which drips down my forearms, mischievously gathering at my elbows , waiting to descend on you. And finally when the soft bubbling foam falls to caresses your bare chest and stomach, I’ll rip off a new multipurpose microfiber cloth from the economy size roll and wipe your body clean. As the sexual tension builds I’ll deep clean your upholstery and wet-vac your carpet. I’ll damp dust your skirting boards and chamois your windows, soaking up every drip and smear. And just when you think there is no higher plateau of ecstasy… I’m gonna tumble dry your Christmas pyjamas for at least an hour, with two anti-static fragrance sheets in the drum. "Oh.My.God (the beginning of that legitimately turned me on!) ... Are you going to tumble them for too long so that they are at least three sizes too small for me? | |||
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"Sock it to him! "Excellent idea | |||
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" Oh.My.God (the beginning of that legitimately turned me on!) ... Are you going to tumble them for too long so that they are at least three sizes too small for me? " In the (slightly altered) words of Justin Timberlake.... Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me Got blinds, well I don't mind Venetian or vertical I'll dust whatever you have Remove every particle See I've been washing you And I like the way you move So go ahead, IO, just do That Vax shaking thing you do So you grab your sponge And you grab a couple more And you all come meet me In the middle of the floor Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me I don't mean no harm Just wanna use this Vim Make a move, but be calm Let's sanitise the bin See it appears to me You like the way I vacuum I'll tell you what I'm gonna do Change your sheets and clean the bedroom So you grab your sponge And you grab a couple more And you all come meet me In the middle of the floor Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me Talk to me boy No rinsing yet, I don't mean no harm Talk to me boy Watch the soap suds drip down my arms Talk to me boy Hurry up cause you're taking too long Talk to me boy Better have you naked by the end of this song So what did you scrub for I came to scrub with you And you know that you want to polish the floor I came to damp dust with you You're searching for hygienic decor It's time to get a broom If crumbs get on the floor Hey …. clean with me Yeah…. come on baby Are you feeling me? Let's do something Let's make the bed Cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song | |||
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"Sock it to him! "Oh bollox! I thought you said song it to him  | |||
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" Oh.My.God (the beginning of that legitimately turned me on!) ... Are you going to tumble them for too long so that they are at least three sizes too small for me? In the (slightly altered) words of Justin Timberlake.... Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me Got blinds, well I don't mind Venetian or vertical I'll dust whatever you have Remove every particle See I've been washing you And I like the way you move So go ahead, IO, just do That Vax shaking thing you do So you grab your sponge And you grab a couple more And you all come meet me In the middle of the floor Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me I don't mean no harm Just wanna use this Vim Make a move, but be calm Let's sanitise the bin See it appears to me You like the way I vacuum I'll tell you what I'm gonna do Change your sheets and clean the bedroom So you grab your sponge And you grab a couple more And you all come meet me In the middle of the floor Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right Don't be so quick to squirt your spray Clean with me I wanna wax your sideboard Please stay Clean with me You don't have to admit you wanna play Clean with me Just let me wash you Till the break of day Clean with me Talk to me boy No rinsing yet, I don't mean no harm Talk to me boy Watch the soap suds drip down my arms Talk to me boy Hurry up cause you're taking too long Talk to me boy Better have you naked by the end of this song So what did you scrub for I came to scrub with you And you know that you want to polish the floor I came to damp dust with you You're searching for hygienic decor It's time to get a broom If crumbs get on the floor Hey …. clean with me Yeah…. come on baby Are you feeling me? Let's do something Let's make the bed Cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song " I'm naked and ready to damp dust. I was naked at the mention of waxing my sideboard. I don't even have a sideboard. But I'll buy one tomorrow, and a tub of wax. I just want to take out my polyfiller and fill in your cracks. | |||
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