FabSwingers.com forum: I'd like us to consider...

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

I have also seen a few threads about how awful and unnatural breast augmentation is and that saddens me even more. I would argue that most augmentations are done because the recipient has issues with their looks and for a variety of medical conditions some have never heard of.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language."

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language."

Well said

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language."

I love all types of boobs to be honest, be they fake or real ones, its all good to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would pay no attention to what is discussed online.. Because you can't pick who you have the conversation with

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I've heard the old 'pubes are unhygenic' one here and elsewhere and to be quite frank anybody who truly thinks that is too stupid to be bothered wasting your time on.

Like 'em/ don't like em, fair enough...but unhygenic? Nah.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I take your point about pubes and influencing people.

May be a more positive stance on the tits would be to help these impressionable folk love the tits they have no matter how small ............ rather than reinforcing their negative self image by supporting artificial matter being surgically implanted in their bodies as a solution.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I guess I've always been happy with what i have but can understand why others are not happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Positive reinforcements help far more than cheap shot criticisms... But the wonderful world of web interactions is both unreal and increasingly becoming a breeding ground for keyboard warriors who know that they are infinitely more insecure than the person they are aiming their barbs at....

"Be yourself" is a cliche... But like all cliches, it is based in fact and experience...

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I would pay no attention to what is discussed online.. Because you can't pick who you have the conversation with"

I do have conversations with them, that's true, I'm just asking for some to place a tiny bit of thought to posting such hatred towards anything we have little control over.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I've heard the old 'pubes are unhygenic' one here and elsewhere and to be quite frank anybody who truly thinks that is too stupid to be bothered wasting your time on.

Like 'em/ don't like em, fair enough...but unhygenic? Nah. "

Have you seen how vile some people are towards my hairy sisters?

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I take your point about pubes and influencing people.

Absolutely, totally and utterly agree with you there Polo, and here we all are, some of us being so negative that we are influencing the less confident.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Positive reinforcements help far more than cheap shot criticisms... But the wonderful world of web interactions is both unreal and increasingly becoming a breeding ground for keyboard warriors who know that they are infinitely more insecure than the person they are aiming their barbs at....

"Be yourself" is a cliche... But like all cliches, it is based in fact and experience...

You know that and I know that so lets encourage those who don't.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've heard the old 'pubes are unhygenic' one here and elsewhere and to be quite frank anybody who truly thinks that is too stupid to be bothered wasting your time on.

Like 'em/ don't like em, fair enough...but unhygenic? Nah.

Have you seen how vile some people are towards my hairy sisters?"

Indeed. Along with the derogatory language used for (largely female) genitalia.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be yourself" is a cliche... But like all cliches, it is based in fact and experience...

You know that and I know that so lets encourage those who don't."

Totally agree... I do what I can, and assits others to do likewise...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I agree. And listening to the comments directed at some people, I have lost some confidence in the way I look. I think people should choose their words more wisely. They could be a bit nicer and say things like "well that's not for me" but instead they say things like "urgg that's disgusting!". If it was just one oddball saying things like that I would not be bothered but there are quite a few. Dont know why some people like to make others feel worse. I always try and make people feel happier

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"To be honest I agree. And listening to the comments directed at some people, I have lost some confidence in the way I look. I think people should choose their words more wisely. They could be a bit nicer and say things like "well that's not for me" but instead they say things like "urgg that's disgusting!". If it was just one oddball saying things like that I would not be bothered but there are quite a few. Dont know why some people like to make others feel worse. I always try and make people feel happier

Rotten, isn't it but I daresay I've said some crass things over the years and not realised how hurtful they are.

Know better, do better.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Thank feck calling me disgusting makes me want to fight, not shave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont know why some people like to make others feel worse. I always try and make people feel happier

In the vast majority of cases, these people are remarkably insecure about themselves and do it to make themselves feel better....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank feck calling me disgusting makes me want to fight, not shave."

Why...?

Are you disgusting? Is your pubic thatch disgusting?

Why should you feel/display aggression towards someone who doesn't agree with your opinion...? Surely you are secure enough in yourself to rise above such differences of what is, at best, opinion...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like i say. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all.

...if you want to express your opinion. There's always a certain way to go about it. Without being derogatory.

Don't think some realise that words could be like swords at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like i say. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all.

...if you want to express your opinion. There's always a certain way to go about it. Without being derogatory.

Don't think some realise that words could be like swords at times.

You put that so much better than me lol

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Thank feck calling me disgusting makes me want to fight, not shave.

Why...?

Are you disgusting? Is your pubic thatch disgusting?

Why should you feel/display aggression towards someone who doesn't agree with your opinion...? Surely you are secure enough in yourself to rise above such differences of what is, at best, opinion..."

I said want to fight, not that I do fight. Disgusting is a derogatory term, not an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like i say. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all.

...if you want to express your opinion. There's always a certain way to go about it. Without being derogatory.

Don't think some realise that words could be like swords at times.

You put that so much better than me lol

Sorry, i didn't know you said the same thing lol i didn't read any of the posts. I just wanted to put my comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Disgusting is a derogatory term, not an opinion."

Agreeing with your original premis...

Disgusting is an adjective.

Pubic hair is disgusting, is an opinion.

I am disgusting because I have pubic hair, is an opinion...

Both, in my opinion are incorrect, but then they are not my opinions....

If I use the English language to voice an opinion, am I expressing myself or being a bully...

The answer to that.... Is an opinion...

As a person who, in my opinion, is not a bully... How carefully should I filter the OE Dictionary to remove all of the words which may cause offense, in someone else's opinion...???

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I agree.

For everyone that likes a particular trait or feature, there are billions that don't conform to their "ideal". We can't all appeal to everyone in every way.

My preference is to be totally clean shaven down below. My hair is naturally so fine and sparse anyway I couldn't grow even a landing strip if I wanted to.

Recently I saw another woman make the comment that totally clean shaven women look like children and anyone with that look isn't someone she would meet. Further, she said she wouldn't meet a man who had verified or been verified by such a woman as she'd consider him a paedophile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Disgusting is a derogatory term, not an opinion.

Agreeing with your original premis...

Disgusting is an adjective.

Pubic hair is disgusting, is an opinion.

I am disgusting because I have pubic hair, is an opinion...

Both, in my opinion are incorrect, but then they are not my opinions....

If I use the English language to voice an opinion, am I expressing myself or being a bully...

The answer to that.... Is an opinion...

As a person who, in my opinion, is not a bully... How carefully should I filter the OE Dictionary to remove all of the words which may cause offense, in someone else's opinion...???"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree.

For everyone that likes a particular trait or feature, there are billions that don't conform to their "ideal". We can't all appeal to everyone in every way.

My preference is to be totally clean shaven down below. My hair is naturally so fine and sparse anyway I couldn't grow even a landing strip if I wanted to.

Incredible....if that was a guy he would not get meets anyway

I am continually perplexed by such attitudes and how such belief systems are created. Of course Topsy is right that. It is those with such belief systems expressing them in such a way that they influence the impressionable here or in the outside world.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

(Username) is a wanker is an opinion. It may even be a reasonable opinion.

It is, however, also an insult and has no place on these fora.

Likewise there should be no place for insulting a group of people when expressing a personal preference.

Some opinions are better kept to oneself, particularly if they are derogatory and not constructive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree wholeheartedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this forum and the chatrooms adopted groundrules based on these codes of conduct could you imagine what a fab environment would be created. Quite a special community would be my guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I am continually perplexed by such attitudes and how such belief systems are created. Of course Topsy is right that. It is those with such belief systems expressing them in such a way that they influence the impressionable here or in the outside world.

I agree that Topsy is correct... That is my opinion... "Of course" is also an opinion, which could challenge the intelligence of those who do not hold the same opinion...

Opinions and Beliefs differ in the amount of empirical proof...

Language can be a minefield... QED... IMHO...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that Topsy is correct... That is my opinion... "Of course" is also an opinion, which could challenge the intelligence of those who do not hold the same opinion...

Opinions and Beliefs differ in the amount of empirical proof...

Language can be a minefield... QED... IMHO..."

I think you are spot on. I'll take more care. Also I think your challenge was just the sort of challenge that raises consciousness and has helped me to learn. I think it's a good example of what I had in mind.

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By *W69Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

As in life some people are always looking to take cheap shots at others expense because either they don't like/understand/are scared of them.

Point scoring, trolling or whatever the word of the moment is, it will always happen.

It's nice to know however on here that respect and shared common values remain.

An open forum is a way to share ideas, thoughts and opinions that's why there's such a different mix of people and opinions. It's a shame the negative is used sometimes so unnecessarily, then again some people just like a reaction

It's takes less effort to smile than it does to frown.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm guilty of using derogatory terms myself sometimes. I've referred to sad, floppy trouser worms on more than one occasion, I know, as an example.

Sometimes it's unintentional and is a result of lack of thought or of understanding. Sometimes it's retaliatory or the result of impatience.

I agree that a better understanding (and some thought and consideration) is the basis for being a better person.

There are some, however, who are derogatory and insulting quite intentionally as they enjoy upsetting and getting a rise from others, especially those they consider beneath them somehow. That's pretty pathetic in my opinion and should be ignored completely.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Im guilty of muttering what a cunt when someone posts ssomething offensive on here but that is in my Personal bubble. I was not brought up to be rude and offensive about anyone and certainly would not intentionally do that on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I think trolling is just endemic on the Internet. The well-known social media sites, in my experience, are rife with abuse. I think it would be ironic (in a good way) that a site, that in some people's opinion should be shut down for the lifestyle it promotes, could be an example of such a community....?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

On a sliding scale.

Those who save their input until it's necessary are at the top of the heap.

Those who give their input to genuinely help others are in there with those at the top

Those who put in their tuppence worth continuously but do it without personal insult and are adding food for thought to discussion are numero 2.

Those who use insult or personal comment at any time are down in the slime at the bottom.

but it's possible to get even lower in life and on here

The passive aggressives. They can't even slide on their bellies they are so low down.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"On a sliding scale.

Those who save their input until it's necessary are at the top of the heap.

Those who give their input to genuinely help others are in there with those at the top

Those who put in their tuppence worth continuously but do it without personal insult and are adding food for thought to discussion are numero 2.

Those who use insult or personal comment at any time are down in the slime at the bottom.

but it's possible to get even lower in life and on here

The passive aggressives. They can't even slide on their bellies they are so low down. "

What about those who comment to take the piss, without malicious intent, because they are smart arses?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an interesting thread , and no doubt we fall into the category of low life !

It can be very much mood orientated as to how we post on the forums , and our responses can be affected by the intent of the op too .

No doubt we could do as suggested here , make no comment unless it is a nice one . Or agree with everything and become a part of the sycophantic clique .

The forums are used by a very low percentage of members , which is sometimes not surprising given the lack of congeniality shown by some of the regular posters .

So for this reason we will take heed and try to be nicer , particularly to new folk on the forums .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a public forum

People can say what they like

Have to be thick skinned if people don't like your photos or comments then block and ignore I am sure you don't like others photos or comments either

If anything abusive happens then report and will be dealt with

Just ignore what you don't like and carry on regardless

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Just playing devils advocate here. But if anyone is looking for advice on body mods from a swinger site, what do they expect?

They are opening themselves up to a forum where they dont know anyone and respondents neither have interest or understanding to their lives.

If they are that bothered about peoples opinions on their body - then asking unknown people to comment is a bit like asking shit to not stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank fuck, I thought it was a thread asking me not to swear.

But yes I agree, reminding people to be mindful is a good cause (myself included) even if it does largely fall upon deaf ears.

I also quite like a growler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is with the internet people can get away with saying the first thing that comes to their head with little to no repercussions. Before pressing send everyone should take the time to read what they've written and ask themselves if thats really what they want to say and how they wish to say it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 17/02/14 15:43:45]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"On a sliding scale.

Those who save their input until it's necessary are at the top of the heap.

Those who give their input to genuinely help others are in there with those at the top

Those who put in their tuppence worth continuously but do it without personal insult and are adding food for thought to discussion are numero 2.

Those who use insult or personal comment at any time are down in the slime at the bottom.

but it's possible to get even lower in life and on here

The passive aggressives. They can't even slide on their bellies they are so low down.

What about those who comment to take the piss, without malicious intent, because they are smart arses?"

They walk on water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a sliding scale.

Those who save their input until it's necessary are at the top of the heap.

Those who give their input to genuinely help others are in there with those at the top

Those who put in their tuppence worth continuously but do it without personal insult and are adding food for thought to discussion are numero 2.

Those who use insult or personal comment at any time are down in the slime at the bottom.

but it's possible to get even lower in life and on here

The passive aggressives. They can't even slide on their bellies they are so low down.

What about those who comment to take the piss, without malicious intent, because they are smart arses?

They walk on water."

and dont even get their soles damp lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language."

Very well said!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language."

Very well said - this includes negative comments on older swingers (whatever that means), those who do bareback, those who swing while pregnant and those who have certain sexual preferences like watersports - the list is probably much longer than this.

I have preferences, in some areas strong preference and in a few areas non-negotiable preferences. Does that make those who do not fit the criteria disgusting? Not at all - it makes them different from me.

Can I voice my preferences? Of course, I can and I have done hopefully never to the extent that made another person feel bad about themselves as that would not have been my intent.

Good thread, OP!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I agree with the person above ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed. People have their preferences and that is fine but there's no need for negative comments outside of that.

Though this negative language will be in people's profiles too. I think some have a hard time expressing themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...our use of language on here.

After another thread about pubic hair and how disgusting and unhygienic it is (according to some), has prompted some thought form myself and others about how we are influencing the impressionable.

To tell a twenty something woman on here who has finally persuaded the NHS to give her breasts that never developed naturally that she is now 'fake' and 'unnatural' is simply awful.

Trying to conform to the huge pressures that we place upon ourselves is bad enough but to be villified for our choices is tragic.

Please my lovely fabbers, express your preferences without the negative language.

Can I voice my preferences? Of course, I can and I have done hopefully never to the extent that made another person feel bad about themselves as that would not have been my intent.

Good thread, OP!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I have to disagree, to an extent, that as this is a public forum people can say what they like and it should be down to individuals to have a thick skin and ignore anything they don't like.

Whilst having a thick skin is necessary here, and some are too sensitive sometimes, there are occasions where comments are rude or offensive and completely unnecessary.

There is no need at all to be insulting or derogatory towards people who do not fit your preferences.

Some thought and consideration for others is not much to ask and would reduce the need for a thick skin.

Just because it's a public forum and people can say what they like, (to a degree), doesn't mean it's right that they should!

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