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swingers manifesto

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on "
we are totally crap at the lingo.whats bdsm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on "

don't ban the under 25's! They are delicious!

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on we are totally crap at the lingo.whats bdsm. "

Big Dick Small Mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on

don't ban the under 25's! They are delicious! "

It's ok.. I'm 26 in a week

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

we've never been divorced. does that mean we can't be swingers

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"what would your one swing manifesto be?

i would ban all cock and fanny shots from being the main aviator

put chat room up for cpls only as well as general

put chat rooms up for sexual preferences

allow a search facility on sexual preferences

give free std checks at every swing club

have group sex available on the nhs for anyone over 60 (thinking of my retirement)

ban anyone under 25 from entering swinging (you have to have been divorced had kids had a mortgage got married again etc )

make it a criminal offence to send out old pics

dogging is permitted after 9pm in any woodland area

free bdsm lessons

oh i could go on we are totally crap at the lingo.whats bdsm.

Big Dick Small Mouth "
i hope youve got that the wrong way round.for my friend of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we are totally crap at the lingo.whats bdsm. "

Bondage, Discipline & Sado-Masochism

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"we are totally crap at the lingo.whats bdsm.

Bondage, Discipline & Sado-Masochism"
thank you very much.im a slow learner.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There will be a basic taxation rate of 5%.

You may alter your age on your profile and knock a few years off, however there will be a 2% increase on your basic tax rate for every year you knock off. Under 25’s who add years to their age will also be subject to a 2% increase per year added.

You may use any photos you like on your profile; however the following tax penalties will apply:

Photos 12 to 23 months old = 1%

Photos 24 to 47 months old = 2%

Photos 48 to 71 months old = 5%

Photos over 72 months old = 10%

Photos which aren’t really you = 50%

Close-up genial shots = 1% per photo

If you wish to reply to profiles with generalised cut and paste messages or without reading the profile of the recipient first, you must apply for a ‘lazy bastard’ permit and will be subject to a 5% taxation penalty. Failure to apply for the appropriate permit will result in a ban and fixed penalty fine.

Arranging a meet and failing to show without sending a cancellation message will become a criminal offence:

First offence = £60 fixed penalty fine

Second offence = £500 fixed penalty fine + 3 month ban

Third offence = £1000 fixed penalty fine + 12 month ban

Forth offence = 3 month custodial sentence. Each subsequent offence will result in a custodial sentence twice the duration of the pervious.

You will be able to claim tax relief on condoms, latex, rubber and pvc play wear, sex toys and swinging club membership.

Accusing someone of being a fake just because they don’t want to meet you will result in mandatory attendance of ‘swinger school’ at which you will be pissed on by a minimum of 7 minger tramps and have a rusty 300mm adjustable wrench stuffed up your arse without lube.

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By *icknDeeCouple
over a year ago

hartlepool


"Accusing someone of being a fake just because they don’t want to meet you will result in mandatory attendance of ‘swinger school’ at which you will be pissed on by a minimum of 7 minger tramps and have a rusty 300mm adjustable wrench stuffed up your arse without lube."

Can we just sign up for this, without having to accuse anyone of anything?

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"Accusing someone of being a fake just because they don’t want to meet you will result in mandatory attendance of ‘swinger school’ at which you will be pissed on by a minimum of 7 minger tramps and have a rusty 300mm adjustable wrench stuffed up your arse without lube.

Can we just sign up for this, without having to accuse anyone of anything?

"
at least make the effort.commit the offence.can i be a minging tramp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also like to add that swingers should be categorised by their looks ie sexy, gorgeous, a bit iffy, handsome, minger etc etc so it will make it easier in the search options.

Face pics would be sent to me and i will decide what category they should be in.

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By *icknDeeCouple
over a year ago

hartlepool


"at least make the effort.commit the offence.can i be a minging tramp. "

Oh if you must... _aucy3 is a fake 'cos they wouldn't make the 90 mile trip to meet us at 2 minutes notice.

Hope you've got a rusty wrench handy, lol

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"at least make the effort.commit the offence.can i be a minging tramp.

Oh if you must... _aucy3 is a fake 'cos they wouldn't make the 90 mile trip to meet us at 2 minutes notice.

Hope you've got a rusty wrench handy, lol "
if i can be a minging,pissing, tramp.we will be there in a minute.rusty wrenches are ten a penny. will see yous in a minute.

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