FabSwingers.com forum: Making the first move.

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes

no shrinking violet ere and certainly not afraid of rejection i take it on the chin like i do spunk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would let him know, any hard work I dry up lol

Nette

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"yes

no shrinking violet ere and certainly not afraid of rejection i take it on the chin like i do spunk

"
Good for you, nice to see you around again btw.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I would let him know, any hard work I dry up lol

Nette

"
How would you let him know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes

no shrinking violet ere and certainly not afraid of rejection i take it on the chin like i do spunk

Good for you, nice to see you around again btw.

thankyou hunny

break did us good all need a breather now n then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in the past id have said no in fear of rejection..

but these days id certainly make a move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always. Guys on here seem happy enough for a woman to make the first move.

Unfortunately in 'real life' off the site, guys are a little shocked if I make the first move. Oops.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't really make the first move but I put it down to my upbringing its not fear of rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would welcome any such advance. Worst i could do is politely decline.

Unless, of course, i was attached and working my period of notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you let him know? "

an email saying so

(preferably a reply longer than 1 line

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"How would you let him know?

an email saying so

(preferably a reply longer than 1 line

"
You an easy lay then.....

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Always! Unfortunately those I want are generally very far away, but it does not stop me contacting them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would let him know, any hard work I dry up lol

Nette

How would you let him know? "
I don't flirt, I don't shout from the roof tops, I'm hard work that way, if the op, has an interest they will see.

If they don't I lose out, as I won't throw myself, if that makes sense lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You an easy lay then.....

hehe.. i prefer "Effort efficient"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sort of

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"sort of

"
Only sort of Minxie? You don't normally do things in half measures!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes make the first move . Shyness stops you getting the things you want in life . Never be scared of rejection .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sort of

Only sort of Minxie? You don't normally do things in half measures!

"
no I'm not shy, and no I don't do things in half measures

Nette

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Hell fooking yes...I don't want to miss out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sort of

Only sort of Minxie? You don't normally do things in half measures!

yeah but I am a great believer in letting them think it was their idea !!!!! lol or maybe its cos I then can wiggle out of any responsibility lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Nope. Contrary to popular belief I am actually quite shy and worried that people don't like me so rarely put myself in a position to be knocked down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very shy I.find it hard to make the first move in case I've got things very wrong lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm very shy I.find it hard to make the first move in case I've got things very wrong lol "
look at the eyes tells a thousand words, unfortunatly we can't online lol

Nette

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yep... I have no issue with making the first move..

And if the response is rejection.. who cares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not usually but i have done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you let him know?

an email saying so

(preferably a reply longer than 1 line

"
noooo one liners dry as a bone stuff lol

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of yeara ago I had no qualms in walking over to a guy I fancied and telling him, now, however, I get all shy and blush then walk away. But I regret it every time so just walk over and take what you want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really poor at picking up if a woman is interested and flirting with me ... I just think awww just being friendly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am really happy when a woman makes the first move. I like that it is a reversal of what is expected in life outside Fab. It also saves a huge amount of time finding a woman that fancies you by other methods.

In each of the cases a woman has contacted me it has led to meeting. A much more successful approach than the reverse.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

If I fancy someone I tell them...life is too short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love making the first move, but I have to feel comfortable doing so ( sexually that is lol)

Nette

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

I can make the first move online, no problem at all.

But face to face I can't.

I can't read men or take hints!! I like told be told straight!!!

Have missed opportunities recently, where I have come away, kicking myself.

I do think it's a rejection thing and I also need a tiny bit more confidence.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I can make the first move online, no problem at all.

But face to face I can't.

I can't read men or take hints!! I like told be told straight!!!

Have missed opportunities recently, where I have come away, kicking myself.

I do think it's a rejection thing and I also need a tiny bit more confidence."

I understand the rejection part I've been rejected on a few occasions I give myself a kick in the bollocks and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

Most of my friends list made the first move... that could just mean my messages are awful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I fancy someone I tell them...life is too short

Yes this...

I do tend to jump in with both feet... Hell don't ask? Don't get... Although sometimes do ask?? Don't get??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can make the first move online, no problem at all.

But face to face I can't.

I can't read men or take hints!! I like told be told straight!!!

Have missed opportunities recently, where I have come away, kicking myself.

I do think it's a rejection thing and I also need a tiny bit more confidence.

I understand the rejection part I've been rejected on a few occasions I give myself a kick in the bollocks and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more reserved in person than on here.

But have been known to throw a few not so subtle hints to get what or who I want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind the woman making the first move...

...just don't spit in my eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

"
Ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Nothing ventured nothing gained

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Ask?

I don't have confidence too after having it knocked a week ago x

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Just ask! What do you have to lose? If he says no there's plenty more lovely guys on here that will be happy to go with you

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Drop enough hints for him to make the first move

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By *Kgirl80Woman
over a year ago

South Coast

"Yep... I have no issue with making the first move..

And if the response is rejection.. who cares

Similar philosophy for me... But in 'real life' I'm not so bold!

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Ask?

I don't have confidence too after having it knocked a week ago x"
Someone turned you down?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes... I am a confident woman and have asked most of my previous men in life if they wanted to go out... I have no patience and can't be doing with waiting around to be asked!

I'm pretty much the same when meeting/playing... I'm normally the one to get things going!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Just ask! What do you have to lose? If he says no there's plenty more lovely guys on here that will be happy to go with you

Lovely Bambi sure you know who

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Ask?

I don't have confidence too after having it knocked a week ago xSomeone turned you down? "

Yeah they did and really knocked me as thought we was getting on x

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Yes... I am a confident woman and have asked most of my previous men in life if they wanted to go out... I have no patience and can't be doing with waiting around to be asked!

I'm pretty much the same when meeting/playing... I'm normally the one to get things going!

"
Go girl!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

any women out in fabland who want to make the first move on me form an orderly queue please

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Ask?

I don't have confidence too after having it knocked a week ago xSomeone turned you down?

Yeah they did and really knocked me as thought we was getting on x"
You can still be friends, find someone else, there are lots of very sexy guys around.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'd hope a lady was confident enough to ask me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Ask?

I don't have confidence too after having it knocked a week ago xSomeone turned you down?

Yeah they did and really knocked me as thought we was getting on xYou can still be friends, find someone else, there are lots of very sexy guys around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Is he down on the list to attend?

If so how about a casual 'seen you on the list, will be fun, are u going on your own' type message....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

Never had a lady make a first move on me. But I am no oil painting, so it was never likely really.

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By *ustin666666Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Of course you make a move. If it was me I'd love it. A confident woman GREAT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

Never had a lady make a first move on me. But I am no oil painting, so it was never likely really."
It's never about looks, mannerisms and respect is what cuts it.

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Is he down on the list to attend?

If so how about a casual 'seen you on the list, will be fun, are u going on your own' type message....?

Well the message has gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Is he down on the list to attend?

If so how about a casual 'seen you on the list, will be fun, are u going on your own' type message....?

Well the message has gone

Good luck

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Is he down on the list to attend?

If so how about a casual 'seen you on the list, will be fun, are u going on your own' type message....?

Well the message has gone

"
I will keep my legs and fingers crossed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as they make me breakfast too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as they make me breakfast too... "

Nah they dont have to do that.I don't mind making breakfast.... or dinner the night before

All that's needed is a wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd still like breakfast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really wish I had the confidence to make the first move, got my eye on a fine gentleman to accompany me in June but not sure how to approach it

Is he down on the list to attend?

If so how about a casual 'seen you on the list, will be fun, are u going on your own' type message....?

Well the message has gone

Well done for sending, fingers crossed for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then I send a fancy a fuck message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Last month

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

"
Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you feel that was, make the first move. Most guys will thank you for it.

I certainly don't mind a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.

The worst that can happen is you will be rebuffed, but then you just dust yourself off and move onto the next candidate lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Yes all clean and sparkly now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would normally say yes I'd let him know how I feel with no problem, but now being on this site I'm going to say it depends on the guy lol I've learned that a lot of guys want to know how you feel about them but when asked to reciprocate they are at a loss for words!! Never had to deal with this before, so it's taken some getting used to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/14 22:40:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

"
I specifically didn't mention you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

A mere technicality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

Nobody

runsssss

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I would normally say yes I'd let him know how I feel with no problem, but now being on this site I'm going to say it depends on the guy lol I've learned that a lot of guys want to know how you feel about them but when asked to reciprocate they are at a loss for words!! Never had to deal with this before, so it's taken some getting used to."
I hadn't thought of that, maybe some guys like to play hard to get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

I specifically didn't mention you.

Lubs you too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

Nobody

runsssss

You know better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I would. I don't get chatted up when I go out so I'm assuming I'm not what men want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

So how about you femme?

Do you make the first moves?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

So how about you femme?

Do you make the first moves?

"
Of course, I hate faffing about.....its the only way I can be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

So how about you femme?

Do you make the first moves?

Of course, I hate faffing about.....its the only way I can be.

I kinda thought that was going to be your answer lol!!

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

So how about you femme?

Do you make the first moves?

Of course, I hate faffing about.....its the only way I can be.

I kinda thought that was going to be your answer lol!!

"
Life is too short to wonder, and my time is usually precious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then I send a fancy a fuck message

When

Hope you have had a shower now, cant be expecting ladies to send you a message like that without being nice and clean.

Who said I'm a lady

Nobody

runsssss

You know better

I'd never run! Come and get me lady!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

We've 'met' already - who instigated that then?? I let the guys come find me on here, but if I am interested I will certainly let them know straight!

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By *oom For 1 MoreMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"yes

no shrinking violet ere and certainly not afraid of rejection i take it on the chin like i do spunk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love that word faffing

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

We've 'met' already - who instigated that then?? I let the guys come find me on here, but if I am interested I will certainly let them know straight!"
First meet, possible sexual shenanigans......would you make the first move?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life's too short not to grab it by the horns. Yes. I'd make the first move.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Life's too short not to grab it by the horns. Yes. I'd make the first move."
Especially if you have the horn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life's too short not to grab it by the horns. Yes. I'd make the first move.Especially if you have the horn.

I would say pun intended....but I never even noticed....damn. Must be nearly bedtime!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind making first move but if my company gets there before me then so be it

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

If I really want him then I'll always let him know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know. Honestly speaking i think i'm not the best at showing my interest. Usually, i think to myself that i hope they do know that i'm interested in them because of the messages and the amount of times i stay in contact with them.

Maybe i have the short straw but when i do ask someone if they're free to meet, i may suggest a certain week or month to see if they are free. If not, i usually ask them to get back to me as to when they are free to meet and take it from there.

But, then you wouldn't really hear back from them and you might see a status update complaining or moaning that they can't arrange a meet.

So, i don't know. How do i tell someone that i do want to meet them (be it social or otherwise)?. I think my humour and all the joking around kind of has been my downfall.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Unless people are direct with me I've no chance of picking up on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My moto is

If you don't ask you don't get!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhhh I misread the question. I always make the first move

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

People of both sexes like to portray confidence and a "go get" attitude but when it comes to it the majority do the go bit not the get bit. People don't like rejection its natural and women in general will wait to see what's offered to them rather than take the risk of rejection and go seek and possibly get knocked back. I will read this thread with interest as we have had similar ones before when people have stated they don't seek and see if people have changed stance or changed what they say they do. Saying that there is nothing wrong with not making the first move if that's not within your comfort level.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

We've 'met' already - who instigated that then?? I let the guys come find me on here, but if I am interested I will certainly let them know straight!

First meet, possible sexual shenanigans......would you make the first move?"

I think my feelings must be apparent as I have never had to!

Mind you, I have been lunged at totally uninvited saying goodbye in pub carparks and had to repel a few times, haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a question for the ladies of the forums, but gents please feel free to add your comments....

You have met, you fancy the pants of this guy...you want him every which way possible....Do you make the first move?

Being rejected is crap but you get used to it, it happens.

I don't understand why some people don't have empathy/ sympathy/ politeness for the person they are rejecting. Some seem to see it as sport.

Especially aimed at single guys for some reason. Usually by people that don't go looking and can't bear rejection themselves.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Mind you, I tend to agree a social or a meet - very, very rarely a 'maybe'.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I can honestly say I have made the first contact with two guys only and that took me days and days of typing out a message then deleting it, retyping then deleting again and finally just being brave and sending it.

I did think to myself what is the worst that can happen, they can say "no thank you" or just delete it, however they didn't and it turned out rather well on both occasions.

In the words of Delboy "He who dares wins Rodney you plonka"

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I can honestly say I have made the first contact with two guys only and that took me days and days of typing out a message then deleting it, retyping then deleting again and finally just being brave and sending it.

I did think to myself what is the worst that can happen, they can say "no thank you" or just delete it, however they didn't and it turned out rather well on both occasions.

In the words of Delboy "He who dares wins Rodney you plonka"

"
What about when you meet, do you make the first move sexually?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I did think to myself what is the worst that can happen, they can say "no thank you" or just delete it, however they didn't and it turned out rather well on both occasions.

In the words of Delboy "He who dares wins Rodney you plonka"

What about when you meet, do you make the first move sexually?"

No I don't but I think you can lead them into making the first move so that it looks like it was their idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did think to myself what is the worst that can happen, they can say "no thank you" or just delete it, however they didn't and it turned out rather well on both occasions.

In the words of Delboy "He who dares wins Rodney you plonka"

What about when you meet, do you make the first move sexually?

No I don't but I think you can lead them into making the first move so that it looks like it was their idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would normally say yes I'd let him know how I feel with no problem, but now being on this site I'm going to say it depends on the guy lol I've learned that a lot of guys want to know how you feel about them but when asked to reciprocate they are at a loss for words!! Never had to deal with this before, so it's taken some getting used to.I hadn't thought of that, maybe some guys like to play hard to get?

I guess that could be the case, but could they work with me a bit lol

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