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NSA is damaging to relationships/attitudes?

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By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Hello ladies and gentlemen!

Again, just an insight into my many thought processes! I've just been thinking about how NSA has its affects on people.

I know sex is human nature and we can't help but have desires, but to what extent does indulging in sex with different partners have an affect on our relationships and attitudes or even our outlook?

I've been thinking about my own experience and I think NSA can skew a man's view of a woman and damage relationships because the man may feel his gf/wife is not behaving the way she should sexually.

If a man meets sexual women on here, he may start to feel that its normal for women to be very sexual - which from my (limited) relationship experiences, that is very much far from the truth. From outside of fab, I believe women are not that sexual.

But in reality, most women don't care about sex as much as men do. The ratios of men to women on this site even show it. The ratios are apparently near 50:1!

I've noticed that with myself, I subconsciously compare women who I have had sex with. I remember who was the most fun and what they did/how they acted. I've found that in a relationship, women are not sexual and I end up wishing they were as sexual as such and such... Or I wish that she did this or that. I wish she liked this, etc.

Maybe I think, oh, why isn't she sexual with me? What's wrong with her? What have I done? Maybe I've done something wrong.. etc. It's possible that it could put a strain on a relationship.

It can also work the other way... Wow, I've got a sexy gf. She's the sexiest around, etc. For the majority though, due to human nature, we tend to dwell more on what we could have rather than what we have got!

This way of thinking though, I think men are more susceptible to it. Is this damaging our relationships and our outlook?

What do you think? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose you could draw comparisons from the natural world where in most animals, of which we consider ourselves to be the most intelligent, the males purpose in life is to spread his genes far and wide where as the female looks for the one male who will offer the strongest genes to give her offspring the greatest chance of success.

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By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"I suppose you could draw comparisons from the natural world where in most animals, of which we consider ourselves to be the most intelligent, the males purpose in life is to spread his genes far and wide where as the female looks for the one male who will offer the strongest genes to give her offspring the greatest chance of success."

Yeah! I suppose that's true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some animals mate for life other prefer NSA, some kill the male when their done...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too deep for me at this time of night. Suffice to say most women I speak to off FS site run a mile at the thought of NSA.or alternative lifestyles......guess they think it would be damaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess thats depending upon weather you choose to have a monogonus relationship, or weather or not you chose a non monogonus relationship.

Ask yourself this when you choose to compare her with the sex you've had with others against, Her!. then ask yourself..... were do you rate, on hers.. "you'll soon stop doing it ".

The grass is always greener, "Until you actually get there...!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you need a partner to swing with? Maybe it's a different type of relationship you need?

Interesting questions.

Are men and women so different that they shouldn't really be in relationships together?

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

From my point of view. I can't find a man that can either keep up with me sexually long term or can handle me having sex with others (especially women, when the male isn't wanted or needed) so i agree with bits of the op.

But then i won't 'shut up & put up' anymore.

I 'wasted' years of my life trying to make a partner happy suppressing myself in the process. Now Im more take me as i am or find someone else.

If that's me 'damaged' then so be it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From my point of view. I can't find a man that can either keep up with me sexually long term or can handle me having sex with others (especially women, when the male isn't wanted or needed) so i agree with bits of the op.

But then i won't 'shut up & put up' anymore.

I 'wasted' years of my life trying to make a partner happy suppressing myself in the process. Now Im more take me as i am or find someone else.

If that's me 'damaged' then so be it "

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I never compare anyway, each woman I meet has her own individual and unique character, personality, looks and sexualised behaviours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are are so many permutations to this...

Morons with bad attitude to sex, inside and outside the community.

Some are probably in denial that women are individuals... Not a hole who needs smashing...

And couples..

im not one so I can only go on my experience...

ticked, tried, not for me.

There's no such thing as normal, everyone has their own boundary...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love.

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By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Interesting comments. Thanks everyone.

And last poster. That's very interesting about love.

The thing is that you can love somebody but not be on the same wavelength sexually! Or this has been my experience anyway.

My current gf, I love her a lot but sexually we have very different opinions. For me, sex with her is casual, open, free, fun but to her it is more solemn, sacred, meaningful, purposeful.

sexually, we just don't understand eachother. It's funny the way people are! Were both happy to work on it though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's very honest of you. I guess I'm just lucky, but I've always been sexually compatible with the women I've loved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

"

Do I hear Michael Ball singing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love. "

.

So true!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think it can skew how some people think and behave. They enter NSA believing they can handle this by divorcing feelings from sex. Not many want a cold fuck though and it's a difficult balance to feel in the moment and leave it behind after.

I don't entirely agree with women not being as sexual. I still think there is a societal view that sexually promiscuous women are bad and that affects how women express their sex drive. The incidences of men on here saying they wouldn't want a relationship with a woman from here because they have had many partners still astound me.

There is also a sense of entitlement that I think many wouldn't have about getting sex if they weren't on here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think it can skew how some people think and behave. They enter NSA believing they can handle this by divorcing feelings from sex. Not many want a cold fuck though and it's a difficult balance to feel in the moment and leave it behind after.

I don't entirely agree with women not being as sexual. I still think there is a societal view that sexually promiscuous women are bad and that affects how women express their sex drive. The incidences of men on here saying they wouldn't want a relationship with a woman from here because they have had many partners still astound me.

There is also a sense of entitlement that I think many wouldn't have about getting sex if they weren't on here.

"

Yes, yes and yes.

Comparing how men and women express their sex drives is fruitless as the experience of growing up female and sexual and male and sexual will always be different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting comments. Thanks everyone.

And last poster. That's very interesting about love.

The thing is that you can love somebody but not be on the same wavelength sexually! Or this has been my experience anyway.

My current gf, I love her a lot but sexually we have very different opinions. For me, sex with her is casual, open, free, fun but to her it is more solemn, sacred, meaningful, purposeful.

sexually, we just don't understand eachother. It's funny the way people are! Were both happy to work on it though."

You may find that it isn't always the case that you don't understand each other sexually. People change. When hubby and I first got together we were very compatible sexually. I became less interested in sex - probably for about 10 years. We then found our way again only for him to develop a temporary medical condition which left him unable to "perform". But we have stayed together through all this because we love each other, and now our sex life is better than ever. The important point is that it is always evolving and there have been points where we haven't been on the same wavelength sexually and times when we really have. But our relationship is based on more than sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love. "

That is so true! And (I'm not being sexist here)it's really great to hear a guy say it! Fair play to you! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it can skew how some people think and behave. They enter NSA believing they can handle this by divorcing feelings from sex. Not many want a cold fuck though and it's a difficult balance to feel in the moment and leave it behind after.

I don't entirely agree with women not being as sexual. I still think there is a societal view that sexually promiscuous women are bad and that affects how women express their sex drive. The incidences of men on here saying they wouldn't want a relationship with a woman from here because they have had many partners still astound me.

There is also a sense of entitlement that I think many wouldn't have about getting sex if they weren't on here.

"

Well said!

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love.

.

So true! "
yeap! Agree too

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love. "

Yes, emotional intensity can transform the physical experience too.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

[Removed by poster at 05/02/14 00:45:01]

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By *hristmascatWoman
over a year ago

leeds


"The missing ingredient in this debate is love.

Love changes everything.

As fantastic as nsa can be, it will always fall short of the heights one can reach with someone you truly love. "

and... Marry me? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The constant feature in all your disappointing relationships is you.

Maybe look closer to home for the source of the problem than sex worn strangers

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