For some time now, I've been promising myself to go out in public cross dressed. Well on saturday night I pushed my boundaries back just a little bit more and did just that. I dress in clubs normally, but on this occasion I decided to travel to a club in lancashire where I live already dressed. And what an eye opener it was for me. The actual public part involved me walking down a main street for about 30 yards to the club entrance. Yawn & big deal, I can hear some people say. Well it was to me! At the end of it, when I reached the door I was trembling with fear, with a little excitement thrown in, pleased at reaching the sanctuary of the club. You can imagine how I felt when I realised the doors were locked! A couple of ladies nearby called out that the place opened up soon, and that totally spooked me. I didnt dare reply, as that would have revealed my identity, so I bolted back to my car as fast as I could in those durned high heels, and drove off to somewhere secluded to wait, calm down and rethink things.
It's at this point that the reason for this posting becomes apparent. Because while I was waiting, several men, individually passed my car and leered at me. Whether they realised my true identity I don't know, but I suspect not, otherwise a totally different reaction would probably occur. Now here's the thing. In my male persona I'm not a small guy. Neither am I a six stone weakling. I'm ex forces, and have survived everything from rude strangers trying to make holes in me before being properly introduced, to parachutes not opening. And yet I found myself in the position that possibly many women face, of being very frightened indeed of men. As I write this safely tucked up in bed, I still cant believe how powerful those emotions were, and it's made me appreciate what some women have to put up with, in terms of both fear and harrasment in a way that I never thought possible.Undoubtedly it was exaggerated by my anxiety at going dressed. But now I am safe, I can best describe my reaction to the event as beig humbling.
Comments anyone? Was I over reacting, or is this a normal thing that women just get used to? (god, I hope not)
x
ps, I did go back to the club, and had a great time to boot. Just wish I had a picture of me in the street! |
