FabSwingers.com forum: Devastated

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After 3 years of having our suspicions, it's been confirmed this morning that my little boy had got autism. Just got to go see other professionals to see how bad it is etc. I'm absolutley devastated for him I'm nearly in years writing this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See it as a positive thing that now you can get the help and support your son needs....

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"See it as a positive thing that now you can get the help and support your son needs....

this..

best of luck..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You now have a diagnosis , you can find so much advice and support through different groups. Times will be hard but stay positive .

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

good luck .. as others have said ... try to find positives ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just because your kid has autism, doesnt mean its the end of the world. Its just a condition that you will get your head round and come to live with and hardly notice x

I know because my little one is autistic, if you need a chat / rant parent to parent, drop me a message xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

may you, your family and your wee man achieve the very best in life, he will feel the love around him and blossom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you get the help and support you need. Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand you feeling upset. I would be so worried as I love my kids and would do whatever to make things better . Now you need to be strong be positive and you have lots to learn to help him overcome this ..... My own kids all 4 had Dyslexia like me . My boys so bad , I did not let it stop me doing nothing or my kids I looked into how I could help and got it sorted and now doing so well . Only thing that got me to this is positive thinking as know on low days you need to hold it together and have hope .... So very BIG ((((hugs and kisses to you.)))))))) The more you lean about this maybe the more you will feel in control whats going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From another father with a son that as autism i know where your coming from...No matter what people say to you wont make a difference. your boy is no different to any other child other then he needs a little extra help. accept him for who he is and not who he aint. when i first found out it felt like the end of the world. it takes time...years but you will get there and you will get used to the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through.

As others have said diagnosis is an important first step. Also autism has a whole spectrum of conditions so it may not be as bad as you think it is.

Look for the positives and be a strong, supportive and loving parent and partner to his mum.

Big hug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"may you, your family and your wee man achieve the very best in life, he will feel the love around him and blossom.

We will 2nd that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel for you, i have an autistic son and it took years to get a statement.

Be positive for him, he will get all the help he needs in developing coping strategies so he can get a normal education tailored to his needs.

This is just a new beginning to a brighter future for him, and your family as a whole. Good luck to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because your kid has autism, doesnt mean its the end of the world. Its just a condition that you will get your head round and come to live with and hardly notice x

I know because my little one is autistic, if you need a chat / rant parent to parent, drop me a message xx"

I work with autistic children they are often misunderstood aren't given enough credit, yes they will have some trouble as you already know but they are also some of the brightest kids I know once they get the proper help they need! There are support groups! Like she said talk, rant, vent to someone because you as parents go through so much! Best of luck to you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to you all for all your kind words and messages of support.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

"just because your kid has autism, doesnt mean its the end of the world. Its just a condition that you will get your head round and come to live with and hardly notice x

I know because my little one is autistic, if you need a chat / rant parent to parent, drop me a message xx

Well said, hugs from us, wishing you the best xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not to be rude by why are you devastated? If you've had your suspicions for 3yrs it hasn't came out of the blue! My son was diagnosed in November after 2years of visiting the professionals and he is still the same happy, sweet caring little boy he was before he was diagnosed! All it means is you need to do things a little differently! Like there brains are wired slightly differently to ours! Don't let it get you down, if anything you are going to see a child blossom with the uniquest of traits! Some days are hard but the joy when you reach those milestones are out of this world!! Good luck to you and your family!! Xx

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It's now diagnosed, he can be helped. Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great posts from everyone here.

V has a son with aspergers and her sisters son has sever autism.

so we know where your trepedation and fear about accepting this condition comes from.

as has been said, the good thing is there are much better information and support networks available to yourselves and your son now than there ever was in the past.

embrace it

accept it

love him for who he is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my little boy is autistic and I am glad for you that you have an answer and he can get the help he needs, see it as a good thing not a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my friends son was diagnosed,his mother felt relief atlast somebody is listenening

Once he was found what help he was needed,the school was notified,they were exerllent,He is now 15yrs old and doing brillant as has the right support.

What im saying is you may feel devastated at the news right now,but it will pass,you will then feel relieved like her. There are lots different types of autism and there are people to help,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not to be rude by why are you devastated? If you've had your suspicions for 3yrs it hasn't came out of the blue! My son was diagnosed in November after 2years of visiting the professionals and he is still the same happy, sweet caring little boy he was before he was diagnosed! All it means is you need to do things a little differently! Like there brains are wired slightly differently to ours! Don't let it get you down, if anything you are going to see a child blossom with the uniquest of traits! Some days are hard but the joy when you reach those milestones are out of this world!! Good luck to you and your family!! Xx"

I wanted to say this but could not find the right words. he is still your son no matter what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nephew is autistic, there's nothing to be devastated about, he's still going to be a happy boy, he just needs some extra help, but whatever you do, do not send him to a mainstream school, have a look at special needs schools around you, there is lots of support out there. Good luck!

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

I think the responses from others in the same boat say it all. True your lad's life may not follow the one you imagined when you first held him in your arms, but few lives do. You love him and that's what he needs and now you have the support of others, both official and unofficial, such as those here. Life goes on, its just following a different road, not better or worse, just different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh."

The mainstream school he went to didn't have that sort of resources available and he was permanently excluded for being autistic. He hated it, came home miserable every day, comfort eating, but he's now at a short stay school where he's thriving, very happy, coming home from school every day with stickers, he gets certificates and presents sometimes for such good behavior!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"may you, your family and your wee man achieve the very best in life, he will feel the love around him and blossom.

We will 2nd that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

I'm sort of his part time carer lol the teachers were brilliant, but it was the headteacher who was the bitch, he was having an episode and she said it was embarrassing to speak loudly over his crying!! I could've punched her right there and then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

Aww my son has an episode too and people moan and its so unfair and its just normal to me. Its a shame people just don't understand! I would have felt the same as you though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

Aww my son has an episode too and people moan and its so unfair and its just normal to me. Its a shame people just don't understand! I would have felt the same as you though xx"

I know it's horrible! I'd have a go at them if they started moaning to piss off elsewhere if they don't like it lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

Aww my son has an episode too and people moan and its so unfair and its just normal to me. Its a shame people just don't understand! I would have felt the same as you though xx

I know it's horrible! I'd have a go at them if they started moaning to piss off elsewhere if they don't like it lol xx"

Lol I know, I tell them to sit somewhere else too, if he wants to express himself how he wants then he can :P xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why I love the forums here . Lots know so much about things and it helps if your in need. This lady is not alone . I am glad others can open up and help in some way. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be really tough news to receive at first. But like others have said, now you know you can start to give him the support he needs.

Knowing a couple of families that have children with autism, all I can say is it's not the end of the world. They find that with a bit of extra planning and assessment before going on days out etc that it all goes well. Their children only seem to find things hard when big changes ate put upon them quickly.

I'm sure you will get the support you need, and from one dad to another, I am sure you'll do a great job with the little man.

Just make sure at this tough time you give yourself the time you need to Come to terms with it, as once you have you'll deal with it much better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why I love the forums here . Lots know so much about things and it helps if your in need. This lady is not alone . I am glad others can open up and help in some way. xxx"
sorry op your a man xxx not sure why I think just woman post , here maybe its because I am one xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

Aww my son has an episode too and people moan and its so unfair and its just normal to me. Its a shame people just don't understand! I would have felt the same as you though xx

I know it's horrible! I'd have a go at them if they started moaning to piss off elsewhere if they don't like it lol xx

Lol I know, I tell them to sit somewhere else too, if he wants to express himself how he wants then he can :P xx"

Oh yes! Luckily I've never had anyone complain...yet

I went to a special needs school too! My nephew is actually going to look at it on Tuesday so fingers crossed!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"After 3 years of having our suspicions, it's been confirmed this morning that my little boy had got autism. Just got to go see other professionals to see how bad it is etc. I'm absolutley devastated for him I'm nearly in years writing this. "
dont be my now 22yo son was diagnosed with adhd aspergas ocd and tuerettes at age seven his junior school basickly wrote him off but luckily for us we moved area and his new school backed us in keeping him in mainstream edjucayion . yes it was hard work yes he struggled and was bullied but it was worth it in the end to see him at his leavers award evening recieving the most popular pupil award along with his 13 gcse passes . hes just messaged me on FB to tell me he has just been accepted as an aprentice body work fitter and iam rightly massivley proud of him .

incedently if you are looking for help and advice you could do worse than join ADDERS dot ORG you will find lots of people on the same boat as you who are happy to share advice experiances and hope good luck

and remeber this is the begging of the end not the end of the beggining

keith

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

the positive thing is that you now have a diagnosis to get the help you need

my daughter is 27 in feb but she was not diagnosed with aspergers syndrome till she was aged ten so I never got any help and didn't know how to deal with things

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our child has it too. She is a bit odd sometimes but unique and amazing in her own special way. We don't even notice. Just carry on as you are. Get as much help as you can. And have a happy life together as a loving family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent my son to a mainstream school and they have special needs teams that come in so I don't think you always need to take him out of a mainstream school tbh.

What!! That is horrible, aww I am glad he is happy where he is now

Yeah same!

Aww my son has an episode too and people moan and its so unfair and its just normal to me. Its a shame people just don't understand! I would have felt the same as you though xx

I know it's horrible! I'd have a go at them if they started moaning to piss off elsewhere if they don't like it lol xx

Lol I know, I tell them to sit somewhere else too, if he wants to express himself how he wants then he can :P xx

Oh yes! Luckily I've never had anyone complain...yet

I went to a special needs school too! My nephew is actually going to look at it on Tuesday so fingers crossed!

xx"

:D awesome, I hope it goes well for him xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now he's been diagnosed you can all get the support you need from the health professionals & school.

I wish you & your family all the best on this new adventure xx

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