FabSwingers.com forum: sterilisation issues and questions on hysterectomy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I want my doctor to refer me for sterilisation... I've been refered twice... Both times refused...

Apparently I dont fit the criteria.. however I have been told that I can't have hormonal contraceptives for Much longer... And I can't have a coil... So can't see why they won't consider me..

Te refusal reasons have been that I'm single and may meet a new partner and want kids..

And my weight..

I am nearly 40 now and with 6 kids you would think it would be easy...

Is it just a case of wait till I'm older or do I need to keep pushing...

Also as I have suffered with some huge gynae issues maybe a hysterectomy instead?I know it's major surgery and I worry I may not feel a complete woman but could anyone tell me how sex after it was.. I've read some horror stories... And worry if I opt for that it could kill my sex drive..

Thank you and sorry for those that hate posts like this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a partial hysterectomy, left me with some internal scarring but overall felt human again after. My sex life is better than it was before I had it

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I asked for a hysterectomy when I was in my late 20s constant gynae problems ... but they said I was too young

a few months later I was pregnant again

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I can't ever know of the distress that this is causing you. All I can do is to offer my support and best wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think at nearly 40 and with 6 children its an appalling reason not to sterilise you because you're single and may meet someone else

Its so simple for a man to get a vasectomy!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I had a full hysterectomy. I opted to have my cervix taken as well to avoid the cancer risk following abnormal smears in the past.

I didn't face any difficulties asking for the hysterectomy and got the surgeon and operation I wanted on the date I wanted it to take place.

The only worry they had was that by taking the cervix my sexual pleasure might be affected. As I was celibate at the time and didn't see that changing I told them to take it as cancer was more of a risk than me not having an orgasm.

My sex drive and my responses are all very healthy and I would recommend hysterectomy to anyone ready to give up their womb.

If you keep your ovaries you won't need HRT until your menopause. If you have the ovaries taken you will start the menopause immediately. I couldn't take HRT but have come through the other side of the menopause and feel great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

Cant believe you've had not so nice message on a serious subject like this. Some people on here are just beyond belief!! Hope it all works out for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have personal experience but my friend had a hysterectomy when she was 40. Took her I would say a year to feel 'right' again and her weight increased substantially during that time too.

however she now feels & looks amazing thanks to WW diet and says she has no regrets about having it done.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've a friend i met on here (ex member now but a rather special friend ( hysterectomy justgave her more freedom. Certainly ddidn't effect her sex drive lol...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't have personal experience but my friend had a hysterectomy when she was 40. Took her I would say a year to feel 'right' again and her weight increased substantially during that time too.

however she now feels & looks amazing thanks to WW diet and says she has no regrets about having it done.

Good luck x"

The weight is harder to shift, I won't deny it (I am the fattest I have ever been) but I am healthier than I have ever been before. I would say it was about 6 months for me before I felt healed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

Cant believe you've had not so nice message on a serious subject like this. Some people on here are just beyond belief!! Hope it all works out for you x"

Apparently all my veries equal why I need one lol... Funny as my gynae issues started before I even had sex... But mostly I've had lovely helpful ones.

I'm going to try pushing.. it's just if I need a hysterectomy maybe that's my better option... But I remember my mum convalessing for months....and I am a full time mum and carer... Hence my reluctance..

Has anyone been sterilized by the keyhole method..? As my research suggests you dont need a general anesthetic for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was sterilized at 24 and I have 3 kids. But it's not always 100%. I fell pregnant again at the age of 31. When I chose to have it done they were hesitant because of my age to . But I just went to my midwife , I was lucky to have same one for all my pregnancies and she put a letter into the doctor to support my decision. U could try that way.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

if its gynae problems what about other methods ie the lining of the womb lasered etc id suggest keep pushing for what you want done

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks....

I hate to ask but has any bigger ladies been successful as my weight is the 2nd reason they used.. but I feel it was maybe the big one and used my status to not make me feel as bad. Been told I need to be within s healthy bmi.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Thanks....

They will say that for all surgery involving a general. I was (and continue to be) overweight but was still given the surgery.

My hysterectomy was keyhole. It took hours and I had two days in hospital. You will need help for 3 months but all being well you will have more energy after the op.

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By *anatee175Couple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Hospitals now do them as a day case in the morning if all is ok home the same day. Good luck I wish you well.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I had keyhole surgery under general last year, it was for something else but they didn't hesitate but I did go private.

Have you thought about going private?

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

I had a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. I had it done via keyhole. I'm a big girl, but it wasnt a problem. I have kept my ovaries. But 1 in 6 ladies still go through the change even if they keep them.

My weight has stayed the same. Although I am exercising more.

I was in hospital over night. Recovery at home is similar to a c-section, no lifting etc for about a month.

Sex after about 6 weeks and my sex drive is at an all time high!!!

Plus no periods getting in the way

Hope you get the results you are after OP xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can't afford to go private or I would have.

Thanks to those that have given me such advice.. really can't see how I could consider a hysterectomy now even if needed as I can't be helpless for that long... So need to push for the less intrusive option x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't afford to go private or I would have.

Sadly the NHS can't afford it too as they are struggling to sanction operations for people with terminal illnesses too.

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By *s louWoman
over a year ago

Enniskillen

It must depend on who your doctor is...when I had a section 8 years ago after child no 4, they offered to do a sterilisation when I was in theatre. My mum was sterilised about 11 years ago and as far as i remember it was a day proceedure - a small 'spring' was put in each tube, resulting in scar tissue forming and blocking the tubes. Don't know if they still do this proceedure but may be worthwhile looking into it - I think it was just a local anaesthetic she had too....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

Hope you get sorted and ignore the haters. Some people just need a hobby;well a different one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

Cant believe you've had not so nice message on a serious subject like this. Some people on here are just beyond belief!! Hope it all works out for you x

Apparently all my veries equal why I need one lol... Funny as my gynae issues started before I even had sex... But mostly I've had lovely helpful ones.

Has anyone been sterilized by the keyhole method..? As my research suggests you dont need a general anesthetic for that"

Honey I am totally with you on this. I had a baby at 21, my 2nd child at 23. I was sterilised at 25 due to gynea problems. This was done keyhole through my naval & had no problems. However I then had to have hysterectomy at the age of 29 again due to gynea problems. Mine was done vaginally so no big scar across the belly & recovery was about 5 weeks. My sex life was fine after a few months, I had the cervix removed too. This does not affect the sensation or feelings I enjoy through sexual play.

Push for what you want & at 40 why would you want more children when you already have 6.

Good luck, happy to chat privately if you want to know more. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all.. lots to think about.

Okay has to be asked.. sexually how long did it affect you for.. as weeks would be he'll.. months.. omg .. lol

It's a selfish thing but really it worries me as much as all the other reasons. I also need to be able to drive asap too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex was about 4 weeks for me, driving is up to you, but they recommended that I didn't drive for 2-3weeks as operating the pedals will make you feel the pull on the stomach. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't help with the question about hysterectomy, except one is advised to have at least 8 weeks off with no lifting, car driving etc...

I never wanted children, and am child-free by choice. However, I too was refused sterilisation because I was unattached/too young/could change my mind/etc...

So I put up with the coil for years as hormonal contraceptions did not suit me.

I considered having it done privately at one stage, then I met my late partner who had the snip.

After his death, I considered sterilisation, and at 44 I would have been eligible.

However, I was asked by the gynaecologist and family planning nurse-specialist to consider the Mirena coil instead, and I am lucky that it suited me well.

The Mirena is likely to stay in situ until I go through the change, which I believe might have already started.

Good luck to the OP, whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about tubal ligation (having your tubes tied)? I had that done when I was 38, and never looked back. It was done by keyhole, it left a tiny scar, under full anaesthetic, and I went home the next day. Just a bit sore for a few days - that was all. No other untoward symptoms or after effects.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I want my doctor to refer me for sterilisation... I've been refered twice... Both times refused...

Apparently I dont fit the criteria.. however I have been told that I can't have hormonal contraceptives for Much longer... And I can't have a coil... So can't see why they won't consider me..

Te refusal reasons have been that I'm single and may meet a new partner and want kids..

And my weight..

I am nearly 40 now and with 6 kids you would think it would be easy...

Is it just a case of wait till I'm older or do I need to keep pushing...

Thank you and sorry for those that hate posts like this. "

I was sterilised three weeks after my 31st birthday and I weighed 130kg. My doctor didn't try and talk me out of it probably because the operation was being done at the same time as my cesarean: my third in four years. They did ask me if I was sure when they wheeled me in as I'd to daughters, my son had died and I was expecting another girl.

Didn't affect my sex life, liberating knowing my husband couldn't knock me up any more, although it bothered him...could be because I didn't tell him I was going to be sterilised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a shame to refuse what we choose when everyone's always going on about how women should have a choice over their own bodies. Which is it, man!? I would like to see one lawsuit where a woman sues the doctor who refused the requested treatment (without good reason, of course) for child support-AND WIN! Harrumph!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Thanks....

They say that. Funny, couple years ago I wanted a hysterectomy but was told I needed to lose five stones first to make it safe: fine. In the next breath I was offered a gastric bypass. I asked if there was a special anaesthetic mix used in bariatric surgery. She said no. The consultant wasn't impressed when I asked for the anaesthetist who would carry out the bypass to administer while I undergo the hysterectomy. Seemed a reasonable request to me!

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By *irtyAndCh33kyCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I had a sterilisation done when I was single and it wasn't a problem!

Ask about the E-sure if your bring refused due to your weight....it's gone vaginaly with a local anaesthetic and doesn't require a hospital stay.

After years of gynae probs I had a totals abdominal hysterectomy last Aug due and am really glad I had it done

Mrs Dirty

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By *irtyAndCh33kyCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Oh and the sex is still great....I had my cervix removed and was worried that orgasms would feel different but I actually think they're stronger and better then ever!

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"Thanks to those that have messaged privately..

Most have been great.. the rest ... I'd keep taking your hrt... Jealousy is not a good thing on here

Cant believe you've had not so nice message on a serious subject like this. Some people on here are just beyond belief!! Hope it all works out for you x

Apparently all my veries equal why I need one lol... Funny as my gynae issues started before I even had sex... But mostly I've had lovely helpful ones.

Has anyone been sterilized by the keyhole method..? As my research suggests you dont need a general anesthetic for that"

I got sterilised keyhole method and they do give you general anaesthetic but in and iut the same day. I was 31 when I had mine done and only 2 kids and single. I don't get why they won't let you so keep pushing for it. I did however have some miscarriages and I didn't want to go through that trauma again. Both to my body and emotionally. I was insistant and very adamant to the surgeon that I knew what I was doing. Maybe say you are willing to do a psychological assessment first as that is what I did

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"How about tubal ligation (having your tubes tied)? I had that done when I was 38, and never looked back. It was done by keyhole, it left a tiny scar, under full anaesthetic, and I went home the next day. Just a bit sore for a few days - that was all. No other untoward symptoms or after effects.

They don't do that anymore they just clamp the tubes now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think at nearly 40 and with 6 children its an appalling reason not to sterilise you because you're single and may meet someone else

Its so simple for a man to get a vasectomy! "

it isnt you know.

our id had to wait until he was 30 and had got 2 kids before they would let him.

he had been asking since he was 18 to have one because he just never wanted kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep pushing. I did and it worked for me.

I had my hysterectomy when I was 28 but it took me 5 years of pushing for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My doctor talked me out of sterilization and into having the marina coil in march. To be honest, I think its the right choice for me as no procedure needed and its all over n done with within ten minutes..

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By *icked kittyCouple
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I've been sterilised for 18 years now after 3 C sections. It had no side effects what so ever . Unfortunately now I'm in my mid forties I am going through hell with menstruation to the point I become anaemic they fitted a maraena coil under general anaesthetic and carried out a Dand C .Five weeks later it came away due to the severity of the flow.Now I long for a hysterectomy.It seems the NHS are pushing the coil and it just doesn't work for everyone. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks....

Very good point!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to all.. xx I've got lots to reply to privately and will do it after the school run x

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