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Easier for men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some men say its easier for women on here because there are more men than women. well i am not so sure about that,

there are a few women, like me who havnt been getting much attention in the bedroom from our hubbys, women who have low self self esteem.

Quite a few women arent that fussy who they meet, they dont care too much what the men wear.

Where as some men prefer slim women and women who dress to impress.

For all the men who say nobody is interested in them there are a lot of average looking men, who arent under 40, doing well on here and having a good time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends upon the sort of ladies the guys in question are looking to meet. My standards aren't outrageously high, but would never meet someone unless I felt genuinely excited by the prospect of meeting them, much of my personal frustration comes from the vast army of guys I'll often have to wade through just to say 'hello' to a woman on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said 'meet' a lot their didn't I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some men say its easier for women on here because there are more men than women. well i am not so sure about that,

there are a few women, like me who havnt been getting much attention in the bedroom from our hubbys, women who have low self self esteem.

Quite a few women arent that fussy who they meet, they dont care too much what the men wear.

Where as some men prefer slim women and women who dress to impress.

For all the men who say nobody is interested in them there are a lot of average looking men, who arent under 40, doing well on here and having a good time."

Its one way of looking at it but as there are far more men than women I would still say its harder for single males to get noticed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It all depends upon the sort of ladies the guys in question are looking to meet. My standards aren't outrageously high, but would never meet someone unless I felt genuinely excited by the prospect of meeting them, much of my personal frustration comes from the vast army of guys I'll often have to wade through just to say 'hello' to a woman on here."

i dont get too excited about meeting someone, that way im not so disapointed if it doesnt work out too well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It all depends upon the sort of ladies the guys in question are looking to meet. My standards aren't outrageously high, but would never meet someone unless I felt genuinely excited by the prospect of meeting them, much of my personal frustration comes from the vast army of guys I'll often have to wade through just to say 'hello' to a woman on here.

i dont get too excited about meeting someone, that way im not so disapointed if it doesnt work out too well."

I think things get easier on here once you meet a few people you really click with. I was surprised at how soon, once I really put my mind to it, things started to happen. I had been using the site half-heartedly until recently. And with it came the deserved results. Now my approach has changed and with it has come deserved results

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to find, as a single male who hasn't had many meets to date, that I'll message a woman, she'll message me back, and as has previously been brought up in this thread, our conversation will get buried in millions of e-mails from other guys. The amount of times I've been messaging a woman and were getting on great, then BAM, nothing.

I must say that I understand OP's point, but from personal experience, I wouldn't want to message a woman who's username is "dirtyoldslut59", which is an example I've seen far too much. Making a profile that's enticing goes for women as well as us men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to find, as a single male who hasn't had many meets to date, that I'll message a woman, she'll message me back, and as has previously been brought up in this thread, our conversation will get buried in millions of e-mails from other guys. The amount of times I've been messaging a woman and were getting on great, then BAM, nothing.

I must say that I understand OP's point, but from personal experience, I wouldn't want to message a woman who's username is "dirtyoldslut59", which is an example I've seen far too much. Making a profile that's enticing goes for women as well as us men."

Dirty old sluts on a swingers site, surely not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My username a "joke" on the old "what's your name and what's your sign, baby?" type things that way predates a/s/l

So it's just my name and my starsign, very boring but I'm what you see.

I've only been here two weeks but have made a friend or two I think and hope and have no regrets joining even though it feels like the old putting your heart and soul into a job application and not hearing back even to find you are unsuccessful most of the time, which can be rather disheartening.

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By *angerpointCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

I think its difficult for anyone if they have low self confidence regardless of whether they are male or female. I think in terms of fab its more difficult for guys to get noticed on here and stand out from the crowd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy puts a meet up and A girl puts a meet up...i know who my money is going on to who gets the most applicants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A guy puts a meet up and A girl puts a meet up...i know who my money is going on to who gets the most applicants "

In fairness it probably depends if the guy is straight too?

No use going on about how unfair it is, it's millions of years of evolution in play. Males competing for females is the natural order.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"A guy puts a meet up and A girl puts a meet up...i know who my money is going on to who gets the most applicants "

True.

But once you've filtered out all the guys who want to meet at a different time/date/location then all the ones who are outside your preferences and then all the ones you've already declined politely and then all the ones who can only communicate via "wen can fuk u?" the suitable applicants are rather sparse if not non-existent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A guy puts a meet up and A girl puts a meet up...i know who my money is going on to who gets the most applicants

True.

But once you've filtered out all the guys who want to meet at a different time/date/location then all the ones who are outside your preferences and then all the ones you've already declined politely and then all the ones who can only communicate via "wen can fuk u?" the suitable applicants are rather sparse if not non-existent. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it`ll be harder for an avg looking guy to get noticed because he`s got a million other avg looking guys to compete with

all a woman needs onhere is a fanny to get inundated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the sheer numbers and the nature of sexual predation means it is easier here for women than it is for men.

Comparable to a night out in a vanilla club. A girl who goes out intent on scoring is unlikely to go home alone ( depending on how fussy she is and whether she is willing to settle for a not ideal mate). The same cannot be said for a guy.

However, that is not to say that single women have it easy here. I have done previous threads about women's success rate ( I would estimate mine at around the 10% mark) and think I am right in saying that it is not easy for us either. I have been stood up, cancelled last minute, rejected, etc etc .

Not a rant, just saying that although I agree that men have a harder time, women do not have it easy either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just get excited at receiving a message lol !!!!! Tho I do only use the site half hearted these days

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

The level of insecurity, baggage and hurt from previous relationships seems to increase within the swinging world. The craving for love, intimacy, affection and being wanted screams out at times ( that is not a bad thing ) but I do wonder if this is really the best place.

I don't think it is easier for one over the other if they truly hold out for what they really seek...

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By *eacon12Man
over a year ago

stanstead

most women stroke couples on here state that they arnt looking for single guys

i try to get to chat with ladies but get no reply i know there are a lot of fakes and liers on here it makes an already hard task harder for us gen guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The level of insecurity, baggage and hurt from previous relationships seems to increase within the swinging world. The craving for love, intimacy, affection and being wanted screams out at times ( that is not a bad thing ) but I do wonder if this is really the best place.

I don't think it is easier for one over the other if they truly hold out for what they really seek..."

may not be the best place, but its the only place.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"The level of insecurity, baggage and hurt from previous relationships seems to increase within the swinging world. The craving for love, intimacy, affection and being wanted screams out at times ( that is not a bad thing ) but I do wonder if this is really the best place.

I don't think it is easier for one over the other if they truly hold out for what they really seek..."
This

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"The level of insecurity, baggage and hurt from previous relationships seems to increase within the swinging world. The craving for love, intimacy, affection and being wanted screams out at times ( that is not a bad thing ) but I do wonder if this is really the best place.

I don't think it is easier for one over the other if they truly hold out for what they really seek...

may not be the best place, but its the only place."

you strike me Ena as a person who seeks it but has no intention of changing your situation as you are ultimately happy with your other half but are missing some aspects of the relationship together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll message a woman, she'll message me back, and as has previously been brought up in this thread, our conversation will get buried in millions of e-mails from other guys. The amount of times I've been messaging a woman and were getting on great, then BAM, nothing."

I'm currently experiencing that with no less three women at the moment!


"if they were that interested in you they'd find your previous messages and continue chatting blah blah blah"

Just thought I'd get that typical type of response out of the way - whilst its not particularly hard for almost anyone to find people on here who may be interested in chatting to and meeting them, at the same time a single male has to remember that there are tens or even hundreds of guys vying for a womans attention at any given time, and whilst you may be deemed attractive enough to chat to, you'll often only get a brief window in which to do so, and its a very, very rare thing to be able to WOW! a woman so hotly in demand that she'll seek you out to continue chatting at a mutually convenient time. I've no doubt that many, many promising meets never came to fruition on here, simply because a woman was so spoilt for choice with offers, that she never invested the time into getting to know the guys who could have provided them.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"The level of insecurity, baggage and hurt from previous relationships seems to increase within the swinging world. The craving for love, intimacy, affection and being wanted screams out at times ( that is not a bad thing ) but I do wonder if this is really the best place.

I don't think it is easier for one over the other if they truly hold out for what they really seek..."

this..

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


". I've no doubt that many, many promising meets never came to fruition on here, simply because a woman was so spoilt for choice with offers, that she never invested the time into getting to know the guys who could have provided them."

And I've no doubt that many go by the by because of the mail system making it very hard to keep track of everyone. I would encourage guys to get back in touch after a few days by replying to the ORIGINAL THREAD so we can just pick up where we left off!! By this I mean often it is NOT a conscious choice not to carry on talking, sometimes overwhelmed means just that - we can't keep up with the volume!!!

I've had charming guys I want to talk further to have to repeat an entire conversation to me because I simply cannot remember what was discussed with which torso a fortnight before sometimes! Until you have talked enough to get passed 'critical mass', or the lady has actually said no thanks, it's definitely worth trying to keep in touch guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


". I've no doubt that many, many promising meets never came to fruition on here, simply because a woman was so spoilt for choice with offers, that she never invested the time into getting to know the guys who could have provided them.

And I've no doubt that many go by the by because of the mail system making it very hard to keep track of everyone. I would encourage guys to get back in touch after a few days by replying to the ORIGINAL THREAD so we can just pick up where we left off!! By this I mean often it is NOT a conscious choice not to carry on talking, sometimes overwhelmed means just that - we can't keep up with the volume!!!

I've had charming guys I want to talk further to have to repeat an entire conversation to me because I simply cannot remember what was discussed with which torso a fortnight before sometimes! Until you have talked enough to get passed 'critical mass', or the lady has actually said no thanks, it's definitely worth trying to keep in touch guys!"

Its been suggested by others in the past, that a 'friends/ongoing conversations' inbox be introduced in order to allow women to better keep track of who they've chatted to. Its a great idea, but of course there's very little chance of the site actually implementing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some men say its easier for women on here because there are more men than women. well i am not so sure about that,

there are a few women, like me who havnt been getting much attention in the bedroom from our hubbys, women who have low self self esteem.

Quite a few women arent that fussy who they meet, they dont care too much what the men wear.

Where as some men prefer slim women and women who dress to impress.

For all the men who say nobody is interested in them there are a lot of average looking men, who arent under 40, doing well on here and having a good time."

Hey to me you look a hottun from totton

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


".

Its been suggested by others in the past, that a 'friends/ongoing conversations' inbox be introduced in order to allow women to better keep track of who they've chatted to. Its a great idea, but of course there's very little chance of the site actually implementing it."

Yes, I hope to goodness they put all of each persons mail under one header soon, but anything further would be helpful too. I try to 'save' one message from people I want to come back to in the future and use the inbox for live convos, but that requires an awful lot of 'mucking out' daily and if I have several conversations running I never get a chance to get down to the bottom of the inbox! But that's what I say keep in touch - it takes you back up to the top!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".

Its been suggested by others in the past, that a 'friends/ongoing conversations' inbox be introduced in order to allow women to better keep track of who they've chatted to. Its a great idea, but of course there's very little chance of the site actually implementing it.

Yes, I hope to goodness they put all of each persons mail under one header soon, but anything further would be helpful too. I try to 'save' one message from people I want to come back to in the future and use the inbox for live convos, but that requires an awful lot of 'mucking out' daily and if I have several conversations running I never get a chance to get down to the bottom of the inbox! But that's what I say keep in touch - it takes you back up to the top!"

Just out of curiosity, should a person say have 200+ unread messages, can they see all their messages by scanning a series of pages, or do you see only around the first fifty, and then have to start deleting in order to see any that were sent prior to that?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


".

Its been suggested by others in the past, that a 'friends/ongoing conversations' inbox be introduced in order to allow women to better keep track of who they've chatted to. Its a great idea, but of course there's very little chance of the site actually implementing it.

Yes, I hope to goodness they put all of each persons mail under one header soon, but anything further would be helpful too. I try to 'save' one message from people I want to come back to in the future and use the inbox for live convos, but that requires an awful lot of 'mucking out' daily and if I have several conversations running I never get a chance to get down to the bottom of the inbox! But that's what I say keep in touch - it takes you back up to the top!

Just out of curiosity, should a person say have 200+ unread messages, can they see all their messages by scanning a series of pages, or do you see only around the first fifty, and then have to start deleting in order to see any that were sent prior to that?"

It's not even 50. More like half that and no you can't go to page 2 etc without deleting those from page one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".

Its been suggested by others in the past, that a 'friends/ongoing conversations' inbox be introduced in order to allow women to better keep track of who they've chatted to. Its a great idea, but of course there's very little chance of the site actually implementing it.

Yes, I hope to goodness they put all of each persons mail under one header soon, but anything further would be helpful too. I try to 'save' one message from people I want to come back to in the future and use the inbox for live convos, but that requires an awful lot of 'mucking out' daily and if I have several conversations running I never get a chance to get down to the bottom of the inbox! But that's what I say keep in touch - it takes you back up to the top!

Just out of curiosity, should a person say have 200+ unread messages, can they see all their messages by scanning a series of pages, or do you see only around the first fifty, and then have to start deleting in order to see any that were sent prior to that?

It's not even 50. More like half that and no you can't go to page 2 etc without deleting those from page one x"

Crazy, little wonder when I check my sent messages, I'm so often faced with a wall of yellow.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


".

It's not even 50. More like half that and no you can't go to page 2 etc without deleting those from page one x

Crazy, little wonder when I check my sent messages, I'm so often faced with a wall of yellow."

Yup, it's very difficult to stay on top of it even on a desktop, and occasionally I have deleted the lot by mistake too! So, the squeaky hinge gets the oil!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".

It's not even 50. More like half that and no you can't go to page 2 etc without deleting those from page one x

Crazy, little wonder when I check my sent messages, I'm so often faced with a wall of yellow.

Yup, it's very difficult to stay on top of it even on a desktop, and occasionally I have deleted the lot by mistake too! So, the squeaky hinge gets the oil!!"

And of course


" if they've deleted your message it means they're not interested"

Or simply didn't see it, that's also incredibly likely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always better to think positively - it's far more likely that a deleted or unread message is simply down to 'volume' than anything else! Isn't it?

Still - with all these meets going on and happy, smiley folk about - I guess plenty of messages do appear to get through!

So some people must be doing things right!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Getting back to the title of this thread, I think it's easier for men*

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* to piss standing up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/14 21:51:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always better to think positively - it's far more likely that a deleted or unread message is simply down to 'volume' than anything else! Isn't it?"

I said that they're most probably left unread due to volume, as its highly unlikely that someone would just leave a message from someone they weren't interested in as 'unread' - they'd delete it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the many months I've been on Fab, I stored the more promising/better conversations in Word documents. Just a matter of updating.

It's nice to be able to read back from the beginning. And I encouraged correspondents to indeed stick to the one thread.

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By *appyfuckerMan
over a year ago

in a happy place north wales coast

well alice pitty your not closer sure would be mailing you

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it is harder for males than females, based on all Ive heard. If someone will shag anything, then it will also be easier than another with tighter scope. It can be tough being very attractive, rich or having many desirable traits, if you want to meet someone who is comparable. So it is not just tough on those who are less well blessed with desirable goodies. Spare a thought for the super elites too.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"A guy puts a meet up and A girl puts a meet up...i know who my money is going on to who gets the most applicants

True.

But once you've filtered out all the guys who want to meet at a different time/date/location then all the ones who are outside your preferences and then all the ones you've already declined politely and then all the ones who can only communicate via "wen can fuk u?" the suitable applicants are rather sparse if not non-existent. "

I have put up three meet requests and not had a single applicant. If I change my status to show I am going to a club I get a little flurry of "take me" messages but that's all.

I must be a single male.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'll message a woman, she'll message me back, and as has previously been brought up in this thread, our conversation will get buried in millions of e-mails from other guys. The amount of times I've been messaging a woman and were getting on great, then BAM, nothing.

I'm currently experiencing that with no less three women at the moment!

if they were that interested in you they'd find your previous messages and continue chatting blah blah blah

Just thought I'd get that typical type of response out of the way - whilst its not particularly hard for almost anyone to find people on here who may be interested in chatting to and meeting them, at the same time a single male has to remember that there are tens or even hundreds of guys vying for a womans attention at any given time, and whilst you may be deemed attractive enough to chat to, you'll often only get a brief window in which to do so, and its a very, very rare thing to be able to WOW! a woman so hotly in demand that she'll seek you out to continue chatting at a mutually convenient time. I've no doubt that many, many promising meets never came to fruition on here, simply because a woman was so spoilt for choice with offers, that she never invested the time into getting to know the guys who could have provided them."

It may not be that they were spoilt for choice but that the conversation went nowhere.

A first message is good and I respond or I approach because of a good profile and I get monosyllabic questions back that culminate in a request for the naughty pictures. I was even blocked once when I responded I don't have any naughty pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll message a woman, she'll message me back, and as has previously been brought up in this thread, our conversation will get buried in millions of e-mails from other guys. The amount of times I've been messaging a woman and were getting on great, then BAM, nothing.

I'm currently experiencing that with no less three women at the moment!

if they were that interested in you they'd find your previous messages and continue chatting blah blah blah

Just thought I'd get that typical type of response out of the way - whilst its not particularly hard for almost anyone to find people on here who may be interested in chatting to and meeting them, at the same time a single male has to remember that there are tens or even hundreds of guys vying for a womans attention at any given time, and whilst you may be deemed attractive enough to chat to, you'll often only get a brief window in which to do so, and its a very, very rare thing to be able to WOW! a woman so hotly in demand that she'll seek you out to continue chatting at a mutually convenient time. I've no doubt that many, many promising meets never came to fruition on here, simply because a woman was so spoilt for choice with offers, that she never invested the time into getting to know the guys who could have provided them.

It may not be that they were spoilt for choice but that the conversation went nowhere.

"

Possibly, but I doubt I'm the only guy on here who approaches his conversations with an eye to establishing a connection with the ladies I chat to, seeing how sexually compatible we might be, exchanging pictures and if all these criteria are satisfied, then attempting to move toward a proper meeting.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

It may not be that they were spoilt for choice but that the conversation went nowhere.

Possibly, but I doubt I'm the only guy on here who approaches his conversations with an eye to establishing a connection with the ladies I chat to, seeing how sexually compatible we might be, exchanging pictures and if all these criteria are satisfied, then attempting to move toward a proper meeting."

I hope you're not the only one or you'll have ever such a long queue of women to get through.

I use the messaging to see if I want to speak to the person with the _iew to arranging a meet.

It might be that I am crap at the message communication but not many get to the telephone stage and of those that do even fewer lead to a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It may not be that they were spoilt for choice but that the conversation went nowhere.

Possibly, but I doubt I'm the only guy on here who approaches his conversations with an eye to establishing a connection with the ladies I chat to, seeing how sexually compatible we might be, exchanging pictures and if all these criteria are satisfied, then attempting to move toward a proper meeting.

I hope you're not the only one or you'll have ever such a long queue of women to get through.

I use the messaging to see if I want to speak to the person with the _iew to arranging a meet.

"

I'm glad that you appreciate the approach, but I'm sure you can also understand the frustration involved when its scuppered by the sheer volume of guys demanding her attention.

Imagine you're chatting to someone you like, and from the flow and tone of the conversation gather they like you too, only for them to have to log off for a few hours (understandable, many people have lives off here), and then when they later log in once more, you simply CANNOT converse with them again because your original parting mail has now been so deeply buried in their inbox they won't even know you sent it, and any further attempts to contact them are drowned out by the sheer number of mails they typically receive when online.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

It may not be that they were spoilt for choice but that the conversation went nowhere.

Possibly, but I doubt I'm the only guy on here who approaches his conversations with an eye to establishing a connection with the ladies I chat to, seeing how sexually compatible we might be, exchanging pictures and if all these criteria are satisfied, then attempting to move toward a proper meeting.

I hope you're not the only one or you'll have ever such a long queue of women to get through.

I use the messaging to see if I want to speak to the person with the _iew to arranging a meet.

I'm glad that you appreciate the approach, but I'm sure you can also understand the frustration involved when its scuppered by the sheer volume of guys demanding her attention.

Imagine you're chatting to someone you like, and from the flow and tone of the conversation gather they like you too, only for them to have to log off for a few hours (understandable, many people have lives off here), and then when they later log in once more, you simply CANNOT converse with them again because your original parting mail has now been so deeply buried in their inbox they won't even know you sent it, and any further attempts to contact them are drowned out by the sheer number of mails they typically receive when online."

I can imagine that feels frustrating. You have made me think that I should put something up that says the message has not been drowned out but that I have run out things to say. I don't get hundreds of messages but sometimes I really don't know what I want to say to someone and will let their message percolate before I reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Imagine you're chatting to someone you like, and from the flow and tone of the conversation gather they like you too, only for them to have to log off for a few hours (understandable, many people have lives off here), and then when they later log in once more, you simply CANNOT converse with them again because your original parting mail has now been so deeply buried in their inbox they won't even know you sent it, and any further attempts to contact them are drowned out by the sheer number of mails they typically receive when online.

I can imagine that feels frustrating. You have made me think that I should put something up that says the message has not been drowned out but that I have run out things to say. I don't get hundreds of messages but sometimes I really don't know what I want to say to someone and will let their message percolate before I reply."

I've never encountered that, I don't contact people unless I have a particularly desire to chat with them, thusly I typically don't run out of things to say. If a conversation feels forced or laboured to me, that simply tells me that there no chemistry and thusly I don't feel disappointed if it fizzles out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my problem is slightly different in that being 62 i am outside the age range of most women so cannot start a conversation let alone meet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Imagine you're chatting to someone you like, and from the flow and tone of the conversation gather they like you too, only for them to have to log off for a few hours (understandable, many people have lives off here), and then when they later log in once more, you simply CANNOT converse with them again because your original parting mail has now been so deeply buried in their inbox they won't even know you sent it, and any further attempts to contact them are drowned out by the sheer number of mails they typically receive when online.

I can imagine that feels frustrating. You have made me think that I should put something up that says the message has not been drowned out but that I have run out things to say. I don't get hundreds of messages but sometimes I really don't know what I want to say to someone and will let their message percolate before I reply.

I've never encountered that, I don't contact people unless I have a particularly desire to chat with them, thusly I typically don't run out of things to say. If a conversation feels forced or laboured to me, that simply tells me that there no chemistry and thusly I don't feel disappointed if it fizzles out."

I'm pretty sure women look at their 'sent' boxes too to see if someone has opened a message they've roiled to. It's not something unique to males!! And if they're site supporters they can then see if you've replied and continued the conversation. In all the time I was meeting singly (and I still chat to plenty who no doubt have busy inboxes!) I never experienced this 'phenomenon' of a conversation dying due to a message getting 'lost'!

It comes across to me as a similar excuse as many others for a lack if reply/interest.

Those that are genuinely interested in maintaining rapport will always manage it - regardless of how 'busy' they are and how full their inbox. It's as likely to be down to lack if interest, change of mind - or them deciding to focus their time on somebody else. None of which anyone can control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm pretty sure women look at their 'sent' boxes too to see if someone has opened a message they've roiled to. It's not something unique to males!!"

Depends on the woman, and how in demand they are. Its understandable that those receiving hundreds of mails, and possibly replying to tens of individuals each time they log in will quickly lose track of who they've been chatting to.


"And if they're site supporters they can then see if you've replied and continued the conversation."

'if'


"In all the time I was meeting singly (and I still chat to plenty who no doubt have busy inboxes!) I never experienced this 'phenomenon' of a conversation dying due to a message getting 'lost'!"

Depends on who you were chatting to eh?


"It comes across to me as a similar excuse as many others for a lack if reply/interest.

Those that are genuinely interested in maintaining rapport will always manage it - regardless of how 'busy' they are and how full their inbox."

Its as I said further up, its very rare that anyone has the ability to immediately WOW! a particularly attractive woman on here into wanting to continue messaging them specifically (and of course, the more instantaneous WOW factor a person has on here, the more likely they are to be a fake), most of the time, that's what I takes - time, in order to build up that sort of rapport with a woman, something mostly denied by the vast influx of mails they receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the sheer numbers and the nature of sexual predation means it is easier here for women than it is for men.

Comparable to a night out in a vanilla club. A girl who goes out intent on scoring is unlikely to go home alone ( depending on how fussy she is and whether she is willing to settle for a not ideal mate). The same cannot be said for a guy.

However, that is not to say that single women have it easy here. I have done previous threads about women's success rate ( I would estimate mine at around the 10% mark) and think I am right in saying that it is not easy for us either. I have been stood up, cancelled last minute, rejected, etc etc .

Not a rant, just saying that although I agree that men have a harder time, women do not have it easy either."

Well said, I have had not one but two social/meets cancel for this coming weekend. I would'nt mind but I rarely get time to myself. It's there loss and maybe someone elses gain....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I'm pretty sure women look at their 'sent' boxes too to see if someone has opened a message they've roiled to. It's not something unique to males!!

Those that are genuinely interested in maintaining rapport will always manage it - regardless of how 'busy' they are and how full their inbox.

"

Yeah but, yeah but........ I am the kind of person that will always have one or two people I prioritise, and yes, conversations with them will be maintained regardless - people I have met and am keen to see again, or people I am about to meet.

I try to delete messages from conversations as I have them so that I am only ever left with the last read message from each person in my inbox, but I might have 20 conversations running, and I only have to have a live chat with two or more at once to get overwhelmed with the volume! I am sure a lot of people just despair and bulk delete at that point.

The sentbox is even less use - I have to bulk delete all read, so there are only a handful left in there, I can't use it to manage anything.

If I start talking to someone and enjoy it and they send me pics I like, I save that in my saved messages as an aide memoire and so as so as not to 'lose' them, but I very rarely get round to going through that - there's about 70 in there currently, some of whom I have already agreed to meet!

So, 99% of the time I have to rely on people to keep in touch with me. It's NOT lack of interest, I DO want to speak to them again - and if any of them buzz me when I am online I would answer immediately.

Maybe that is the best tactic for someone who likes to take their time and talk in depth - just keep saying hi when someone is online - if they keep answering, the interest is still there.

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By *entaur 9Man
over a year ago

Warwickshire


"I just get excited at receiving a message lol !!!!! Tho I do only use the site half hearted these days "

Me too I had two today !!! Yikes!

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