FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging stopped

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can i ask has anyone during a swinging play stopped the play by being scared or worried or just froze during the play and said no i want to stop this now because who knows till your in it or has it been to much and then the couple split up because of the swinging "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would hope if someone wasn't feeling it that they would be able to say so instead of doing it knowing they don't want to.

Everyone should be mature enough to not take offence to someone changing their mind.

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By *angerpointCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

I once refused to play with a couple that had travelled 60 miles to meet us. I just didnt like the guy he was full of himself and not my cup of tea. Sex should never be expected and noone should ever feel guilty about stopping things. We always tell people we meet that its ok if they change their mind even once play has started.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have said no in the middle of things but as I am not in a couple it would not affect a relationship. If a relationship can be broken by this then perhaps a longer conversation is needed about whatever else is happening in the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once refused to play with a couple that had travelled 60 miles to meet us. I just didnt like the guy he was full of himself and not my cup of tea. Sex should never be expected and noone should ever feel guilty about stopping things. We always tell people we meet that its ok if they change their mind even once play has started. "

Good old sheffielders, no nonsense and tell it like it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet socialy first, just to see if everyone clicks and wants to play! If anyone says no they don't want to go ahead then that's fine, no hard feelings!

And the same would apply if anyone said no during play, would hate to think that someone was only doing it to go along with things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd feel guilty knowing someone just went through the motions to save embarrassment/cause offence etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst thankfully this has never happened to us, if either one of us felt uncomfortable we would stop play. This wouldn't cause us to split as I imagine the reason we stopped play was due to not feeling connected with the other couple not each other.

If for one second we concerned ourselves over the thought of swinging damaging our relationship, we would not swing.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likewise we only swing to enhance our relationship, so no damage would be done to us. But at any stage from first message to reverse cowgirl any one of the group can call a halt, and everything would stop, IF J decided she didn't want to play then I would also stop playing.

Not happened at the play stage, but has happened on the stairs in a club.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for that and no silly beggers too ' we sometimes do think though in a couple he might be right for her or otherway round sometimes hard to get both total turn ons i think sometimes he is a wow or she will be but both is hard to get

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By *angerpointCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

We have exactly the same view to swinging. We either both play or neither of us plays. Its meant to be a bit of fun and extra spice. We went into it as a couple and we play as a couple.

If for any minute either of us had doubts about swinging we wouldnt continue. Our relationship is worth more than a bit of fun with people we dont really know.

xxx

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

We were playing with a couple in the playrooms of club once & they turned out to be very gobby (don't mean orally lol!).

The guys said to John (not me) can i fuck her arse & John said no mate she don't do anal, he then said we like players not talkers & don't think you are going to fuck my wifes arse...John replied i don't want to fuck your wifes arse in fact i don't want to do anything with her & we walked out.

Players not talkers lol! gobby little shits...

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Never feel pressured into having to do anything, if people are pushy stop it straight while you have control of the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex wife split up with me allegedly over the swinging. when we started she said she didn't want to play with women as she wss straight... which was ok with me.. then on 2nd time in a clubs jacuzzi she got hit on by a woman but to my surprise she and this woman went off to play on a bed and I wasn't allowed to be involved very horny.. Anyway my ex said she enjoyed it and the next few times we went she met another woman and they would go off and play which I wasn't worried about. Anyway some 3 months later I am being hit with divorce papers for unreasonable behaviour. . and her mother calling me sick... I can only assume that it was because of the swinging but nothing was ever said.. my daughter who I got residency has said that her mum has not had a boyfriend since the divorce 9 years ago. But my ex wouldn't talk about what the problem was and we have never spoken since.. Maybe she didn't like it and wouldn't or couldn't say anything or maybe she decided that she liked women better. Sorry to have gone on. I still do not know the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If either of us don't fancy either of the other couple we don't play. We won't even ask for a reason. We all have to feel comfortable. If another couple don't want to play with us then fair enough, again we won't ask for a reason.

Fortunately we haven't had to stop halfway through playing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dont blame ypurself for that you were totally honest and open but she wasnt it is about being open and honest she was obviously bi but didnt want you involved feel sorry for you as you did everything you could hope your having fun now though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had been swinging for about three months , and decided to visit chams .

We met two couples there , and ended up in a lockable room with both .

After about 10 minutes I had lost sight of my wife who was on the other side of the room , and the lady i was with was demanding all my attention .

The next thing i knew was when my wife shouted out ' I want to leave ' , which we did immediately .

We discussed it all on the way home and agreed the night highlighted a few issues for us , which we learned from , and two years later we are still going strong .

So if you are strong as a couple , when things go wrong , deal with them together and it can work

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